Assorted Straightbian Subtypes: AKA the Seven ASSes

We have written about Straightbians many times before, and we have even delineated some Lesbian Warning Signs You Might Be Dating A Straightbian and Portraits of a Straightbian, but we wanted to do a specific post about the seven primary specific Straightbian subtypes who, collectively, are the bane of Lesbian existence. There may be significant overlap between these subtypes, yet each of these Straightbian archetypes is easily recognizable as a discrete entity.

Without further ado, we present to you the seven main Assorted Straightbian Subtypes: (AKA the Seven ASSes):

1). The Woo-Woo Goddess: Everybody knows a Woo-Woo Goddess. She will read your tarot cards or your tea leaves. She is no stranger to runes, the I-Ching, unicorns, incense, herbal tea, soy candles, prisms, numerology, astrology, channeling, or rainbows. She speaks in awe of The Universe And Its Unknowable Mysteries. She wafts by in a voluminous dress, as if floating on a veritable cloud smelling vaguely of Patchouli. She might be a massage therapist or Reiki master; or perhaps a Spoken Word Poet, frequently performing in indie coffee houses across our Great Mother Earth, typically accompanied by an acoustic guitarist playing folk music that always sounds suspiciously like Phoebe's Smelly Cat. That is, when she is not attending the Drum Circle with her feminist group on the first Wednesday of the month, or her "Healing Crystals And You" support group at the local Raw Food Cafe on Tuesday evenings. She's always been into Yoga but, lately, she has to admit Pilates is becoming a close contender. She recently heard about Rebirthing Breathwork Therapy from her psychic friend, Shamrock Clover, but sadly, she later discovered that it is just too expensive for her to do at the moment. But it's certainly something to dream about in the future, though, because it would be sooooo very nice to reconnect viscerally, even if just for a fleeting moment, with her mother's vagina, returning symbolically to the Great Cosmic Mother, if you will. She will just have to stick with Rolfing for now. Closely related to, and may overlap significantly with #2: The-Straightbian-in-the-Woods.

2). The-Straightbian-in-the-Woods: The-Straightbian-in-the-Woods is the stereotypical all-natural, organic, vegan Earth Mother. She picks her own mushrooms, sips wheatgrass smoothies, and presses her own cashew milk to pour over her hearty morning breakfasts of chunky granola, poured into her own handmade pottery bowl, fired right here in her very own kiln at The Farm, where she proudly hosts the annual "Womyn's Week At The Farm" (AKA The Ye-Olde-Renaissance-Fair/Womyn's-Music-Festival-At-The-Farm). She toyed with macrobiotics at one point, but found it to be a fleeting affair. She slips on her all-vegan Birkenstocks and sashays to the nearest pasture whenever the sudden need to howl at a full moon overtakes her, as it often does. She makes crafts out of pine cones, twigs, acorns, moss, feathers, rocks, and, when she is particularly reveling in her femaleness, her own period blood. Her favorite craft is the "Dream Catcher" which she sells on her Etsy shop, despite the effect that shipping has on her carbon footprint. She tried making rainbow flags with dyes hand-crafted from fruits and vegetables, but sadly, the colors bled together and she was left with no alternative but to recycle them into tie-dye bandannas. She macrames and recently acquired a loom. She "eschews" shaving her armpits or legs, uses only rock salt deodorant, and, of course, uses an all-vegan menstrual cup, feeling that au-naturale is the only way to go. Clothes made of hemp are her staple, although she occasionally flirts with burlap. She may dabble in Wicca, sometimes casting a benign spell or two...for World Peace and Equality, of course, with some Prosperity thrown in for good measure. After all, Earth Mama needs her Ani DiFranco CDs, now doesn't she? (They aren't going to buy themselves, that's for sure). She is a womon-identified-womon (or womyn or womin, depending on her mood and menstrual cycle), well, at least for now, and if she weren't currently a Straightbian, she'd be giving birth (all-natural, naturellement) at this very moment, squatting in the shallow warmish natural creek in the bend by the old oak tree. Despite her current "identity" as a "Lesbian", The-Straightbian-in-the-Woods intuitively senses that there's still time to fulfill her true destiny: marrying a hippie-dippy pacifist liberal male in a sunshine-speckled field of daisies, then popping out plentiful progeny, who she will then proceed to "spoil" every year at their birthdays with her own special, homemade, hand-crafted, no-sugar, all-natural, all-organic, locally-produced, sustainably-sourced, non-GMO, fair-trade, vegan, raw-food, smelt/oat/raisin/hemp bars (in lieu of an actually tasty birthday cake). Closely related to, and may overlap significantly with #1: The Woo-Woo Goddess.

3). The Academic Straightbian Susie:  The Academic Straightbian Susie (AKA the biggest ASS of all) is the absolutely worst subtype of Straightbian. She knows absolutely nothing about Lesbians, yet, with shocking heterosexual privilege, nonetheless blithely publishes copious falsehoods about Lesbians without ever understanding the irony.  The Academic Straightbian Susie publishes alleged "Lesbian research" without ever having the basic common sense to realize that her subjects are NOT Lesbians, just as she herself is NOT Lesbian. Those pesky actual Lesbians need to shut up and let her speak for them, she thinks whenever she encounters actual facts which are contrary to her strongly held theories. After all, she is the one with the Ph.D. here! That should show them who knows more! For crying out loud, she's almost-most-of-the-time-sometimes a Kinsey SIX! Forget about mentioning she's been twice PUBLISHED in the prestigious Icelandic Journal of Queering the Gender Construction of InterSEXionality in PostModern Society read by at least a whole three people! What do blue-collar Lesbians know about their own lives anyway?  They are too busy actually being Lesbians to study such critical academic Lesbian topics as "political lesbianism" and "Queer Theory". Certainly blue-collar dykes could NOT possibly know nearly as much about being a Lesbian as The Academic Straightbian Susie has learned by reading books/articles by other Academic Straightbian Susies and by conducting her very own academic "Lesbian focus groups". She speaks haughtily, yet earnestly, of nonsensical concepts like "compulsory heterosexuality" and "gender theory" and "The Patriarchy". She even uses terms like "intersectionality" and "eschew" with a straight face. She heartily subscribes to radical feminist theory and may even be a  well-known "pioneer" in the feminist movement. Some older Academic Straightbian Susies may bear a shocking resemblance to Maude (see #6, below). They "eschew femininity" (and men!) while incorrectly thinking that doing so makes them a Lesbian. The Academic Straightbian Susie, in summary, hetsplains Lesbian from her ivory tower with a bizarre, toxic mixture of arrogance and ignorance...never understanding, nor caring, how her multitudinous lies and delusions damage real Lesbian lives.

4).  The High Femme AKA The Queer Femme AKA Some Straightbian Idiot Wearing Kitten Heels: We have covered this territory before. More than onceThis Straightbian asshat is the one who most people mistakenly think of as a Femme. The High Femme won't venture from her scarlet satin-filled abode without full makeup and perfect hair. She is meticulously groomed, shaved, moisturized, and perfumed at all times; always ready to tap her long, fire-engine-red fingernails in growing impatience when she doesn't get her straight-privileged, demanding, whiny way. She may wear fishnet hose, miniskirts, and stilettos in the misguided notion that actual Lesbians will drool at the mere sight of her. She makes no secret about loving Victoria's Secret. She is hypersexualized and attempts to use her hypersexuality as a weapon. She (mistakenly) believes that Dykes think/act like males, and attempts to manipulate Dykes with her hyperfeminine wiles. (Some naive Dykes might even be flattered by her insincerities). She gives Dykes back-handed "compliments" about how "manly" we are. In fact, she will even "support" a Dyke into an early grave by encouraging her to transition. A subtype of the High/Queer Femme is the no-longer-body-oppressed Fat Femme AKA The Fat Queer Femme. Most FQF's begin their Queer lives as Fag Hags, till they're demoted by their favourite Fag Brian after he gets a steady beau. Heart broke but hopeful, FQF's survey their Queer landscape till they set their sights on a Dyke. Assured their Dyke prey will date them cuz Women aint like those subjective oppressive objectifying men! Dykes have to date Fat Grrls! But Fat or Thin, make no mistake, this is a very sinister Straightbian. Underneath her perfectly coiffed exterior lies a twisted sister.

5).  The Very, Very, Incredibly Special Snowflake Straightbian: This Straightbian is so very, very, incredibly might even say "precious". Nobody in the history of humankind has matched her level of uniqueness. She strives to be different with every piercing, every tattoo, every mohawk (or, alternatively, dreadlocks), every rainbow hair dye, every body modification -- often modifying herself into virtual unrecognizability from her real plain-Jane heterosexual self. This Straightbian didn't feel loved as a child, and doesn't love herself now, despite her frequent panicked protests to the contrary. Her social media bio reads like a liberal's wet dream, sprinkled liberally with words like cis, queer, pansexual, aromantic, non-binary, "identify as...", and they/them pronouns (or, perhaps she needs to be even MORE special with pronouns: maybe choosing ze/zir, or if she is feeling particularly frisky: tey/tem/ter). Despite her over-fondness for such descriptors, she "eschews" labeling herself. Labels are for losers, she thinks. People as special as she simply defy description! S/he-they-tey-ze live "outside the box"/"outside the binary". So, she wouldn't ever call herself a Lesbian nor even a Bisexual (because, Goddess Forbid, those monikers are just soooooo NOT "special" enough and may imply some sort of exclusivity), yet she qualifies as a Straightbian because she fucks with Lesbian lives in many and various ways; including, but not limited to, actual fucking. The Very, Very, Incredibly Special Snowflake Straightbian speaks of her "inclusivity" and "tolerance" and proclaims that mere frivolous things like biological sex/genitalia wouldn't prevent her from exploring sexual relationships (Translation: If it moves, she will fuck it...Or, rather, she would at least claim she would be open to doing so). She may even get published in allegedly "Lesbian" publications, but most certainly NOT because she is a Lesbian...rather, because she is the opposite, the anti-"Lesbian", the post-modern "Lesbian", if you will. Some might say that she would be yesterday's goth, but, gosh, goth is just so yesterday now, isn't it? Gotta keep pushing those boundaries, don'tcha? Eventually, The Very, Very, Incredibly Special Snowflake Straightbian may even go where no Straightbian has gone before: In her ongoing quest for the final frontier of Specialdom, one day, she may become so very blindingly special that she will actually transcend human form in a final stunning blaze of glory; a Straightbian supernova of monumental proportions. Until that day, she will remain a wart on the ass of collective Lesbianism...but hey, at least she's a very special wart.

6). The Midlife Menopause Maude (AKA The Triple M): The Midlife Menopause Maude is a late-comer to the Lesbian world. The Triple M has spent 2(+) decades married to a male, where she fulfilled her true heterosexual duty by popping out a couple of varmints. Now, menopause looms; her kids are in college; her husband, Richard (who "eschews" the nickname Dick) recently bought a red Corvette and is now casting his lecherous eyes upon his 20-year-old administrative assistant named Alex; and The Triple M feels her eggs shriveling up inside her more quickly than a Shrinky Dink in a toaster oven. She now casts a disparaging eye around her now-barren world and realizes there's got to be more to life. Heck, she's still semi-young. 50 is the new 30, right? Right? She used to be interesting! She used to have her own apartment in the city! She was going to be a writer, wasn't she? Or maybe an artist. Mixed-media, of course: using found objects, upcycled into collages, to be shown at a nice little wine-and-cheese gathering at the local art gallery on a brisk February evening. What happened? Where did all of the years go? When did she stop being a person and turn into a wife-n-mommy? She knows the answer: It's The Patriarchy who is at fault. The Patriarchy sucked the life right out of her, then spit her out, just when she was no longer juicy. Fuck The Patriarchy! Fuck ALL Men! Who needs men anyway? They can't even find the damn ketchup in the refrigerator, for Christ's sake, when it's right there on the door, beside the mustard and the relish, where it's always been. Men are disgusting anyway, aren't they? Didn't Richard scratch his hairy ass on her brand-new Ethan Allen sofa while watching Monday night football and eating nachos just last week? The Triple M isn't going to stand for it anymore. She can do better than this. She should do better that this. But what? How will she ever escape from the hum-drum drudgery that her so-called life has become? Oh, snap! That's it!  How did she not see it before? She can "become a Lesbian"!  Didn't she just read an article in Cosmo about how "sexuality is fluid" and how many straight women are now "coming out" and finding true love with another female in their 40's and 50's?  Well, she did take a shower that one time with her college roommate. Granted, it was a large communal shower at a youth hostel in Italy during her junior-year summer abroad, but that counts, doesn't it?  Maybe she was a Lesbian all along! Yes, that's it! For sure! With straight-privilege fully intact, the Triple M barrels headlong into "becoming a Lesbian". She reads and reads and reads, books and articles by Academic Straightbian Susies. She joins Twitter and proceeds to tell actual Lesbians how they should be Lesbians. She cuts her hair and throws out her high heels. She burns her bra. She "eschews" make-up because SHE WILL NO LONGER SUPPORT THE PATRIARCHY. Well, maybe a little mascara and lipstick sometimes, but that's it. No more blush or creamy foundation for her! No, sir. There's no need for that wrinkle cream that costs $285 for a mere ounce anymore either, now that she is thinking about it. She will EMBRACE her wrinkles. She is a Proud Crone now. Heck, she will even dare to wear purple! That will show The Patriarchy who's boss now. She will make The Patriarchy her little bitch by "becoming a Lesbian". "Hahahahahahaha", she cackles in an increasingly hysterical tone, "hahahahahahaha"!

7). The Engineer: This Straightbian might not be an actual engineer, but she could have been. Should have been. Even if she doesn't engineer as a career, she engineers as a way of life. She is logical, organized, and efficient. She runs a tight ship. She likes to be in control of the money in the relationship, because, after all, let's face it, she would always do a better job at it than that actual Lesbian she lives with. In fact, the Lesbian she lives with is downright careless with money, consistently ordering the chicken walnut salad at Panera Bread when it's so obvious she should have brought her own chicken and walnuts along in reusable ziploc bags to garnish a plain side salad, thereby saving an average of $4.23 plus tax per salad per trip! (Duh!). The Engineer Straightbian says she likes animals, but the truth is, she likes the thought of animals and the attention she gets for having pets, but not the actual daily upkeep of said animals. Too messy and inefficient for her taste, if the truth be known. This type of Straightbian often actually mistakenly at some point believes she is a Lesbian; because, after all, she has been different than her female peers ever since she can remember. She never was a "silly little girl"; she never ran around in circles and squealed like a banshee like her peers. She never went "boy crazy" in adolescence either, preferring chemistry or calculus. She naturally "eschewed" makeup, because: why spend money on such frivolous items? Seriously, just think about it: if she took that $143.18 that her girlfriends spend, on average, on a single trip to Ulta, she could invest it in a sensible municipal bond and pretty soon, she would be on her way to early retirement. So, when she heard the Lesbian narrative of "always feeling different", she thought, "Huh. Maybe that's me". Sure, she still notices a handsome male, and she may even make off-handed comments to her puzzled Lesbian partner about it: "That weather guy on Channel 4 is such a handsome fellow, isn't he? I bet he would make a really good husband". Her mother always tells her that she isn't really a Lesbian, that she just thinks she is because of what her "Uncle" Edmund did to her in the closet during her 4th birthday party, but she doesn't listen. Her mother clearly doesn't know what the Hell she is talking about. She LOVES her Lesbian partner, after all...doesn't she? Well, they never have sex anymore, and they barely ever had sex, even when they first met, but that doesn't matter, does it? Of course, she occasionally uses her sleeping Lesbian partner's hand to masturbate with, but she's not sure that would count as "sex", since her partner is always unconscious at the time. Anyhow, having mutual sex just isn't a priority; there are so many other factors in a relationship, after all. They have plenty else in common. They play video games together, for instance. That's fun, isn't it? And her Lesbian partner does drive her all over town on Saturdays to pick up craft materials, so there's that. They have a good life, she tells herself, a busy life. And: So what if all of her girlfriends are having babies while her biological clock is tick-tick-ticking away, an ominous ever-present metronome in the background of her seemingly perfect Lesbian life? Let her friends change those poopie diapers. The money she is secretly socking away from the Lesbian's paychecks, combined with all the money she is NOT spending on such nonsense as diapers and Legos, will definitely put her on the path to early retirement. Then she'll have much more time to spend watching that handsome weather guy. Heck, by that time, he will probably be the anchor on the evening news. She just knows he would make a good husband...

dirt and Mrs. Dirt


  1. You spend an awful lot of time on this sort of thing. I think you should consider the possibility that *you* are not an actual lesbian. You clearly hate women, to the point of denying that you are one. I gotta be frank with you, sister: it looks to me like you are not a lesbian at all, but a deeply disturbed, self-hating, woman-hating deviant expressing your violent, obsessive hatred sexually. But misogyny combined with sexual sadism is not a sexual orientation. It's not lesbianism. It's a personality disorder. You need help, Dirt.

    1. That purple hat isn't going to wear itself, Maude. Chop chop!

    2. Hey Anon 11/16 at 3:01: Nice psychobabble. Where did you pick that up, in your Primal Scream therapy sessions? Sadly, you missed the mark by about a million miles, but kudos for trying. Sincerely, Mrs. Dirt

    3. STRAIGHTBIANS are so COMMON to Dykes this post took all of 20 mins to write hun. And if 20 mins of our time saves 1 Dyke the misery of dating a STRAIGHTBIAN its plenty worth it!



  2. Just for shits and giggles i check on this unintelligible blog every 2-3 year, mostly b/c i enjoy your suffering/ rage/deluded thinking. few things are clear: you are totally deluded. you totally reminds me of god hates fags. yes, thats exactly who you remind me of. god clearly hates fags and trans folks.

    1. Hun, the only delusions are yours. And your lack of understanding is obviously because you do not have a Lesbian brain. Now take your non Lesbian ass elsewhere!


    2. Rob(erta), have fun shitting and giggling. Because shitting and giggling is likely the highlight of your sad, delusional, lonely loser life. At least your dog loves you.

    3. "Unintelligible" says the person with THAT comment and THIS as a Blogger profile? Hmmmm:

      "identity is as identity defines. once upon a time, a bulldyke in a china shop. woke up a transman with lesbian sensabilites with a receding hairline. literate, lover of words. conventional, non-comformsit with strong anarchist leanings. believes in God, or at least the idea of a something more important, more meaningful than the lint i often pull out of my bellybutton. reeling from unrequited love. in love with being in love. divorcing Myself from the idea of Me. Married to my dog, and passion for all things colored justice."

      Apparently, both irony and even low-level written expression skills escape "Rob". Well, at least we will always have defecation and hilarity as fond memories of you, "Rob".

      Sincerely, Mrs. Dirt

  3. An oldie but a goodie:Psychobabble


  4. I don’t understand why the first two are straightbians, at least not why inherently. Between this article and the Mary Daly article I’m confused about a few things. You write as if no lesbians can 1) be spiritual or revel in being female 2) hate men. Now I’m not saying that being either of those things *inherently* make you a lesbian (obv) or that lesbians *should* think/feel that way, but to deny that any genuine lesbians do? Or say that if you have either of those traits you are a fake straightbian? So lesbians can’t be spiritual(unless it’s one of the “big” religions or male centered religion??)are we all supposed to be atheists? or just acceptable religions?, can’t have an analysis of patriarchy or genuinely hate men? We’re supposed to be chummy chummy with men (as long as it’s not romantic/sexual) and that shows being a real lesbian because hating or not even hate but thinking there is something is biologically wrong with them them makes you "fake"? You write a lot about who isn’t a lesbian but not about who is. You write as if het women are the bane of existence (well they kind of are lol) and men are chill as they are. I respect you a lot but I do feel frustrated a lot reading your stuff. I know you’re not writing for *me*, a random person but I just wanted to comment. Natural types/vegan/spiritual women are constantly ridiculed and mocked for being “dumb” or whatever else and I really don’t get it. I mean this blog’s purpose might be more about criticism but I wish I knew of a place that had the “reality check” aspect of this blog with real dialogue/discussion as well.

    1. First of all, Lesbians may (or may not) be spiritual; and ditto for straight women in general and Straightbians.

      Sure, there are "woo-woo goddess types" or "earth mama types" who are just plain straight (versus being Straightbians), BUT WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THEM.

      This post, and ANY/ALL posts we do are about Lesbians and the issues that affect us (including, but not limited to Straightbians).

      So we aren't going to be writing about straight women ~ unless they are affecting Lesbians in some way (i.e., either Radfem theorists, or hetsplainers, or Straightbians, or Academics, etc. who are detrimental to Lesbians).

      In other words, sure, there may be just-plain-straight "woo-woo goddess" or "earth mama" (etc.) "types" ~ but as long as they are not Straightbians or otherwise affecting Lesbians...WE ARE NOT WRITING ABOUT THEM. EVER.

      A significant number of Straightbians fall into one of the categories we listed, including the ones you are questioning. So much so that they are stereotypical. Thus, why they are included on our list.

      There is no need for a "reality check" because WHAT WE WRITE IS FREAKING REALITY.

      If you have been around the Lesbian world for as long as Dirt and I and our friends have been, it is WELL KNOWN that these Straightbian stereotypes exist FOR A REASON ~ and that reason is that they exist in significant enough numbers to ACTUALLY BE A STEREOTYPE.

      We do, in fact, write about who IS a Lesbian also, but the sad truth is that Lesbians are greatly outnumbered by Straightbians. So, for every Ellen Degeneres, there are probably about 20 Anne Heches. Straightbians have stolen and taken over Lesbian culture, Lesbian lives, Lesbian EVERYTHING.

      And, no, most ACTUAL Lesbians do NOT hate men (in general). Of course, we hate male violence and rapists and serial killers and child molesters, etc. AS EVERYONE SHOULD, but NO, we don't hate men in general. Why would we? If you see somebody calling herself a "man-hating lesbian", rest assured you are dealing with a Straightbian.

      And (answering your comment below), NO, most Lesbians also don't feel the need to procreate. Which is not to say that some Lesbians don't have children...some do, either because they are later-in-life Lesbians or for another reason. But in general, we don't feel the overwhelming urge to pop out babies like het women do.

      Not sure why you think we said that Lesbians "don't have creative energy"...that wasn't addressed here nor elsewhere. Of course, Lesbians can be, and are, creative in many different ways, and neither of us has ever said otherwise.

  5. implying that lesbians don't have creative energy in their wombs or otherwise just because they don't want to procreate or have children, is spiritually castrating. As if only het women/heterosexuals are in the business of creating things.

    1. I addressed this point in my other reply above, but then it occurred to me that you may not be the same person, so I will reply here too. I am puzzled by this comment (Anon 11/18 at 1:30 PM) because neither Dirt nor I have EVER said that Lesbians aren't creative, so this interpretation is WAY out in left field. Lesbians are creative in many ways, and we have never said otherwise. Being creative isn't determined by orientation. So I actually don't understand what you are talking about here; I have to guess that you somehow misunderstood something.

  6. I'm an actual sexual deviant and I have a fetish for cuteness and "immaturity". If a woman is being cute I'm on her side no matter what else she is. I admit I'm biased and I have absolutely no morals. My judgement of what is cute is completely subjective of course. This is my post having seen Dirt's video reading out aloud her post on YT:

    'Hey I'm coming from the 7 Asses video where the comments are disabled. My fav being "all-vegan menstrual cup". You're being funny and cute. I think straightbians are scary. The unconscious handjob was most creepy. As usual I was afraid I might be one of them. But then I reminded myself of how much women actually hate me so I could never be accepted by one. I think Kathy Griffin would be a cute straightbian with her cute new haircut. There would be an 8th category of the unapologetic and 'misunderstood' weirdo clownish persecuted misfit. Personally, at the moment, I think straight, spiritual gold-diggers like SheRaSeven1 are my favorite type of all women. I'm over idealizing lesbians. Being a lesbian might NOT be the most clever thing for a female to do. I'd like to be as clever. I value cleverness the most, and as always: pure femininity. For the time being...'

    I used to enjoy being funny on twitter. I love people using emojis. I love myself being emotional and I love emotional people. I think Dirt is a bit of a comedian as well as was Charly Manson. Look at what mean comments Kathy receives on her YT videos: "Kathy Griffin is a nasty mouthed and viciously evil old liberal hag." Reminded me of the hate Dirt gets... Kathy Griffin is a cutie and she is child. xD She loves being the center of attention. Isn't Dirt an attention whore in a similar fashion? Kathy's looking fragile, right? :) She said society forces her to be scrawny. :( She's like 57 but she could be a child and is in a vulnerable position right now. I feel extremely protective about her.

    I hardly ever meet women so Dirt is one of my teachers on the topic. As for me there's some face validity to her descriptions of women/straightbians. I don't know if some of them are cute so I wouldn't rush to defend them. Most straight women aren't really childlike so they don't interest me. Please don't any of you pick any further on Kathy though.

    No I really don't wish to have actual babies myself like a straight female would. Also babies' heads are not perfectly round as I prefer them. Additionally, they can't be sarcastic or anything like that.

    Kind regards,
    Your Beloved Meta-Man (greetings)


Missing Person Kristin Snyder: Lost in a Sea of Myths Pt 4

Next up in our series on the The Lost Women of NXIVM mockumentary is Joseph O’Hara of Albany, NY. O'Hara was an attorney who worked fo...