Happy Birthday Patti Smith! You have helped to make Me possible

In lieu of Patti Smith's birthday today, I'm reposting something I wrote nearly five years ago about her ongoing needle threading itself through my life. Recently I read her latest book M Train , further solidifying my bond with her. From M Train:
  •   I closed my eyes and searched for a stored image of my copy of Ariel, given to me when I was twenty. Ariel became the book of my life then, drawing me to a poet with hair worthy of a Breck commercial and the incisive observational powers of a female surgeon cutting out her own heart.
Patti writes of her second visit to Sylvia Plath's grave:
  • I was numb with cold but couldn't bear to leave. It was such a desolate place in winter, so lonely. Why had her husband buried her here? I wondered. Why not New England by the sea, where she was born, where salt winds could spiral over the name PLATH etched in her native stone?  I had an uncontrollable urge to urinate and imagined spilling a small stream, some part of me wanting her to feel that proximate human warmth. Life, Sylvia. Life.
Five years ago...

After watching  P.O.V. the other night which aired the film documentary Patti Smith: Dream of Life on Wednesday this week. I spent a good chunk of the night afterward thinking of how much she has had to do with my own personal evolution.

Patti would write in her prose work Mummer Love to Arthur Rimbaud "The years saw me grow long-limbed awkward inexplicably maverick. I sought my kind and found none. How you rescued me. Your peasant hands reaching through time wrapping my young heart. Your poems, found in a stall by the greyhound station I dogged dreaming of escape, were my ticket out of my cloistered existence. Words I could not comprehend and yet, deciphered by blood, illuminated adolescence". We never know what fortunes will alter our lives forever and often times we never know at the time they are fortunes.

I didnt find Patti in a public bathroom stall but I think my finding her period was no less miraculous and every bit as fortunate. I had been aware or rather had knowledge of her from her first album Horses when in came out in 1975. I would later own a used copy of Horses on a soft baby blue 8 Track. There was something about her, she sorta stayed around peripherally till I was old enough to seek out that something. That fortune came to me in the form of a knock off copy cassette (bright orange plastic cover) of her last work at the time, Wave, by my brother who purchased it for under a buck at Grapevine Records and Tapes in Flint,MI in 1980. Patti had retired in 1979 with Wave being her last album.

I was hooked from the first song. I knew other songs of hers I had heard on the radio but now I had something by her I could listen to, REALLY listen to over and over so I could hear the words. I loved the words of songs as far back as I have memory, and her words were powerful, meaningful and messaged! I was 12ish at the time and not being the brightest sun in the school sky there was so much she was singing about that I just had no knowledge of. I blamed my ignorance on me, that maybe had I worked harder and paid more attention in school I would know the likes of Nerval or Rimbaud, Genet, Ann Lee or Wovoka. I had no clue other children my age and older even were just as ignorant of such things. There was no Google then and growing up with an illiterate granny whose ten kids were at best functionally illiterate we didnt even own a set of Encyclopedias.

I picked up the other three Patti Smith albums by the time I was 15 and with each album falling more in love, not with her in any romantic sense, but in just as passionate and powerful a sense. I wanted to know everything! Everything about her, who she REALLY was. I cant tell you how I knew this, but somehow, by chance I KNEW to know her was to know who influenced her! By now I was sixteen, sixteen with my first car; a white "ghetto glider" as my half brother called it. In truth it was a 1978 $200 Buick Skylark. But it got my cousins and I around and also made many a nights for someplace to sleep when there weren't any.

In trying to quench my thirst for Patti Smith influences my cousin Tommy suggested a dip in the Flint Public Library pool. I hadnt thought of that. We drive to the east-side to where the library was located and I quickly find out to obtain a library card I have to have a parent or guardians signature or I have to be 18. I have no parents or guardians and I'm 16. But given that this was in the mid 80's long before library's electronically tagged all books, Tommy says "pick out what books you want, I'll get 'em for ya". So for a few years that became a routine. I would point out which books I wanted to read and a cousin or two would snag them. I'd read them usually sitting out side in Playland's (the local arcade) parking lot smoking a Winston. I read great poetry and literature in that parking lot, while my cousins played arcade games inside. Nerval's Aurelia, Baudelaire's The Flowers of Evil, Rimbaud's A Season in Hell and Illuminations, Pasolini's collected poems, lots of art books, bio's from Ann Lee to Modigliani, to name but a few. I read, smoked, and returned each book via the outside drop box. But the problem was, and there was a problem, that despite how well this library system worked, I would read one thing, then another then wish I had read the other first. I had no way to reference what would interested me more or be more important in my quest to a better Patti Smith understanding.

A month or so after my 18th birthday, a Sunday it was. My granny asked Tommy and I to run up to Kmart and get my brother some ham and cheese sandwiches for his lunch. Back in the day Kmart used to have a small deli area when you walked into the store where they sold subs and ham and cheese sandwiches. The ham cheese sandwiches were three for a buck. Granny gave us a dollar and off Tommy and I went. Being August Kmart had all their school supplies out. Tommy and I looked around a little when I spot this desk encyclopedia for $6.99. It seemed perfect for what I was looking for, would give me basic idea's about the persons in question and then I could decide what I would read next. Only problem was, no money. Tommy and I go back to granny's. I remembered this piggy bank I had which I knew contained quite a few penny's. I emptied the clear see through pig of its contents and began to roll 50 penny's to a red paper packet. I rolled out $8 dollars to cover tax. Tommy and I go back up to Kmart. He goes into get the book and pay for it with my rolled up penny's because I was too ashamed to.

I utilized the book for what it was purchased for and I also use it just to flip through and skim while having coffee. One morning on a flip through I see the word "suicide", since I know what the word means I read no further and flip the page. Info about the word continued to the next page and my eye caught the last thing written on the subject which said "several literary figures have taken their lives in this manner" and it listed three. Hemingway, Koestler and Sylvia Plath. I was familiar enough with Hemingway to know he was of no interest to me. I checked out what it had to say about Koestler whom I never heard of and still wasn't interested after reading what it had to say, then read what it said about Plath whom I also never heard of (or don't remember if I did. I would later recall after finding out she was married to Ted Hughes that I remember liking a short story of his (the rain horse) in 10th grade so the short bio our books contained might have mentioned her). What it said of her didnt strike me in a particular way, but I'll admit I was curious. I had wondered how and why an old woman would kill herself. You see, I didnt look at her dates (1932-1963) I assumed she was old from her first name Sylvia which my mind immediately went to silver/gray therefore old.

A few weeks later I was at the library trying to find something to read, not having anything on my list I thought about that Sylvia Plath woman. I asked the librarian for a few things on her, the librarian gave me three things: a book of criticism, Ariel and Letters Home. Ariel being the book of poetry published a few years after her death and Letters Home being something her mother put out containing letters Plath had written over the years to her mother. I read all three straight away. I was immediately astounded by Ariel! Especially the holocaustal imagery. You see having been profoundly moved/interested/confused/impassioned with the subject for 10 of my 18 years, I felt very alone in that, seeing I wasn't Jewish. And here was a woman with German lineage also writing about this "whole" to use Semprun's term.

After reading all three books I took them back to get more books by/on Plath because my original interest the "why" of her death didnt get answered anywhere in the three read books. Within a very short time Patti Smith faded into the background and Plath ascended to the forefront. I read all I could find and one thing that was refrained was how academically driven she was. She didnt settle for merely being born a genius, she pursued knowledge like a starving animal pursues prey. A year or so before I had quit high school, reading about Plath's academic prowess made me feel more and more like a loser. If this woman desired to work her ass off to attain knowledge and a certain amount of prestige the very least I could do was go back to school. I signed up for adult ED through the school system I had started at, wanting to get my diploma from there. Having quit in the 12th grade I didnt need too many credits. I worked hard , acing all the courses I had to take and a few extra ones I wanted to take. I graduated a year later, got a good job an hour from Flint which sadly had become according to the census the "worst city to live in in the country". A few years later I moved from Flint only to return to visit now and then.

Like Patti Smith before her, Sylvia Plath became a needle threading me through her influences and their influences and theirs and theirs and theirs all weaving the beautiful tapestry that is my life. But it was Patti Smith who first put that needle in my hand. In all my years of knowing of Patti and Plath I had never read nor heard Patti mention her. Within the first 19 minutes of this documentary she mentions reading/being influenced by Sylvia Plath. So it has come full circle. Both women still interest me, inspire me and move me to tears with as much passion as when I first found them both. And both are still relevant and important figures still influencing tens of thousands world wide with their lone individual voices.

Plath wrote in a late essay that she is not "worried that poems reach relatively few people. As it is, they go surprisingly far-among strangers, around the world even. Farther than the words of a classroom teacher or the prescriptions of a doctor; if they are very lucky, farther than a lifetime". Her poems have been "very lucky" and have I am here to say reached a life and helped that life to flourish and out grow a poor narrow background.

Patti Smith closes Mummer's Love telling Rimbaud this: "This is what I know. I am here for a purpose. The purpose changes. Gifts that are not mine. Children who are not mine. An angel who is not mine. And this-to meet you at the urinal and draw you upright in my arms. I am still sturdy. This memory may enter me and I will realign the clay of my being. Will be you. Muscle shall be ours. All limbs intact. All brutal mirrors cracked. I am here and that is something. I am here my friend, and have always been. As much as for any living thing".


Beyond the Bathroom-Dee Dee and Karri Owens

About a month ago, another transgender school bathroom story surfaced across feminist/social media sites alike. Beyond trying to keep up with the onslaught of each new Trans Political rape of female rights, I paid little attention to the story. About a week or so ago, I was anonymously emailed some information about this particular transgender school story, beyond/behind the general headlines and asked if I would look further into the case. Anon explained that they had done some work already regarding background information and would share it with me. I agreed to take a look and was sent a barrage of links and breakdowns of information as a place to start. After doing a cursory look through what was sent to me, and looking just a little beyond that, I agreed to a VERY concerned Anon that I would do further research and bring the REAL story (a story/study) in modern child abuse to the forefront!

The original story begins like countless other transgender school policy changes, the Marionville School District of Missouri "adopted a policy Thursday regarding transgender students." Stating that "students can either use a gender-neutral bathroom or a bathroom designated for their biological sex. Students who participate in physical education classes that require using a locker room or shower are expected to use facilities designated for their biological gender, or they can take an alternative PE class that doesn't require changing clothes or showering." It all seems perfectly trans-hunky-dory except for the assertion by the school attorney Tom Mickes regarding transgender kids/teens not changing/showing with opposite sex students " 'Female students have a well-developed legal right to be secure in their body integrity. They have the right not to be naked in front of a male,' Mickes said. 'We are going to provide alternatives, but showering with them is not one of the options.' "

One mother Heidi Owens, from the district, with TWO (son/daughter) transgender kids in Marionville schools however isnt pleased:

Sarah Rossi from the MO chapter for the ACLU is working with the Owens family on the "blatant discrimination" their two transgender children are receiving from the school. An aside-readers might also take note of  some well known transgender activists who commented on this story in support of these two transgender kids and their supportive mother.
Another article mentions Heidi's "wife" Krystel who is also transgendered autogynephile "Owens and her wife Krystel — who is also transgender — moved their family from California to Springfield, Mo., four-and-a-half years ago, and then from Springfield to Marionville. Her children encountered no problems at Springfield schools, but Marionville has not been accepting."Again, note the comments attacking the school district, based solely on trans-propaganda headlines.

Another article headline ACLU: Missouri school district’s transgender restroom policy is ‘blatant discrimination’ and once again note the comments.

This is the story behind the story, beyond the shiny headlines of transgender discrimination. The real story is the story of abuse; domestic abuses, mentally disabled abuses, sexual abuses, medication abuses, therapeutic abuses, medical abuses, a host of abuses, none of which has to do with transgender rights abuses.

This story is long and involved and I have tried to shrink the monstrous amount of information to something manageable/readable as best I can. What I'm providing is what I feel is most pertinent/related to the headlines. If readers have questions about something I skirted or left out, feel free to ask. Because for me to include what I know, this blog post would turn into a book.

Dirt commentary and background information on the mother of the two transgender kids, Heidi Owens: I found throughout this complicated saga that Heidi Owens nee Tesch is a sympathetic character. She is (I say this not as a judgement but a fact) of low intelligence and low means outside of what she has gleaned from "the system" and the kindness of internet strangers. I also believe she truly loves her children, those taken away from her, those lost in early pregnancies and those still (for the moment) in her possession. Through private messages I've obtained from conversations with Heidi, legal documents and a few other sources, Heidi's story:

Heidi Tesch, with boyfriend Brian Kelley had their first child William Tesch in October of 1993, all three lived at home with Heidi's mom Donna.
Heidi and Bryan married before Heidi gave birth to their second child Wesley the summer of 1994.
All wasnt bliss and in 1995 Heidi's mother filled a restraining order against Bryan Kelley for the whole household, sighting domestic violence:
The changes were later dropped and Heidi and Bryan produce a third child Wyatt in June of 1998:
Heidi lost all three boys via CPS and shortly thereafter divorced Bryan Kelley. The exact whys to CPS removing the three boys and not allowing even family members to adopt them, beyond the domestic abuse of Heidi, is unknown. Heidi claims it was domestic abuse alone, although she alludes to mental illness and drug problems elsewhere (see #468).

Heidi and Bryan's divorce is granted in 1999:
Heidi in a recent FB PM regarding why she lost her first three sons to CPS:
A year after her divorce, Heidi marries Marty in June of 2000:
In 2003, Heidi finds Marty cross dressing and files for divorce:
Marty tells the impressionable intellectually slow and desperate-for-love-and-approval Heidi that he has Klinefelter Syndrome therefore it isnt his fault he likes dressing up/masturbating in women's clothing. Heidi takes Marty back. From a FB PM:
Intellectually slow Heidi doesnt comprehend that had autogynephile Marty truly had Klinefelter Syndrome, the odds of him successfully fathering FIVE children would be astronomical if not outright impossible. Least I also point out, the couples two transgender children would also not have inherited Marty's purported KS, because Klinefelter's cannot be inherited. That isnt to say Heidi, Marty and their five children (and at least one of Heidi's previous sons, not to mention those she miscarried) arent suffering from genetic intellectual issues, coupled with the issues of being raised by an intellectually disadvantaged mother and a seemingly cold, manipulative cross dressing father.
2010 is the ten year anniversary of Heidi and Marty, and an avalanche of  change beginning when Heidi starts looking for the three sons lost to CPS. This coincides to the time Marty decides to take his cross dressing to the next step and transition:
Apparently Heidi trying to locate her boys takes some attention away from Marty:
Marty's mom isnt pleased with Marty playing dress up/transitioning:
November 2010, Heidi finds two of her lost boys:
But no Wyatt:
In the spring of 2011 Marty begins injecting estrogen:

Apparently things werent going so smoothly:

Later in 2011 Heidi meets William for the first time in a dozen years:
How does Marty celebrate the occasion?:
In 2012 Karri (the 11 year old NOW transgender child) taking at least one known anti psychotic drug was hospitalized for behavioural issues:
 Due to Karri's use (over use) of anti psychotic drugs, she developed:
Keep in mind, this is the transgender child the ACLU, liberal lefties and Transgender leaders are supporting in her transition needs. Think about that for a minute!

Meanwhile the lady of the house Mommy Krystel (Marty moved back in at some point which I could not determine an exact date) was busy with more pressing womanly issues like posting Facebook memes:
In the summer of 2013 Karri is according to Heidi diagnosed with:
Months later more medical issues for Karri:
Does Karri sound like a prime candidate for cancer causing hormone blockers/testosterone to you?

In 2014 it was Heidi in the hospital, grateful that her husband was nice enough to babysit HIS children!
I do agree with this FB meme posted by Marty:
It was November of this year 2015 that the shit his the trans regarding Karri and Daegan's (deedee) school:
The number of mental and psychological issues suffered by this entire family are too numerous to list. It was obvious straight off, that Heidi and her family are all intellectually disabled. Despite the obvious, this doctor (having no history with transgender clients) according to Heidi diagnosed Karri first, who was sent to him for her severe behavioural issues and then diagnosed Daegan who was simply along for the ride. Karri diagnosed because females now diagnosed with autism/spectrum are assumed to be transgender. Meaning any girl who is genuinely autistic or falls onto the broad-as-a-barn spectrum (math geek girls/shy girls/girls not interested in maintaining a smile etc) are being label as transgender by various professionals idiots.
Now both children are seeing this endocrinologist who is supposed to (according to Heidi) prescribe them hormone blockers in January 2016:
From a Facebook PM:
2015 has ended on a bad note and a good for the Owens family:
Some linear pictures of Karri and Daegan illustrating their transgenderism started with dad (Marty) rather than having signs of being born-in-the-wrong-body:
Since last year Daegan had went to school using the name "Deedee", it seems unlikely Karri had went to school using a male name, if she had, I could find no evidence of it. What is evident is sometime this year (November) Daegan had done something to call attention to his sex and was told he could no longer use female bathroom/locker/shower facilities. Given Heidi's intellectual capacity I suspect it was Marty who called attention to this "injustice" via local/national news sources. It is likely from the coherent newspaper quotes from "Heidi" that those quotes when juxtaposed to any other online source found spoken by Heidi, that newspaper "Heidi" is probably Marty.

Heidi is clearly an intellectually impoverished woman who has been abused by men (and the system) since at least her mid teens. She has had as many miscarriages as she has had mentally deficient children. She is however resourceful and like many who wind up in the system, Heidi and Marty have learned how to work the system. They seem to live very well and their children (all of whom it seems receive financial assistance) are used to a degree to finance that living well. In this sense I could not find and did not see any signs of outward abuse.  I do suspect however, the children's multitudinous diagnoses are in part garnered by both parents to ascertain those funds. That isnt to say I dont think the children have some issues. But the extra diagnoses compound their issues.

I cannot prove, but I do suspect, due to Heidi's ongoing issues with Marty cross dressing/transitioning, this is probably why Marty elicited the two most mentally vulnerable of their children to be transgendered, they are less likely to object. Whether we believe Heidi's story that both children were diagnosed by a behavioural psychologist treating a very disturbed Karri or whether Marty has recruited Karri and Daegan in effort to hold onto Heidi using his children in a strength-in-numbers ploy, either way, these children are being subject to psychological abuse and in some cases, drug abuse.

Anonymous wrote me because they were concerned all five Owens children were being abused to a degree that CPS should be involved. After careful study of a massive amount of family history and information I agree with Anonymous. But I wont stop with this simply being a case of poor parenting/familial abuse. These children, two of them at least, are being used/abused to further transgender rights, with no care whatsoever from Trans political leaders and blind liberals about the welfare of these mentally challenged kids.

Pertinent links:

Heidi's Twitter
Heidi's GiveForward
Heidi's CafeMom
Heidi's FB

Marty's FB
Krystel's FB
Karri's FB created/maintained by Heidi
Deagan's FB created/maintained by Heidi
Heidi's MySpace
Heidi's Hero Network
Heidi's Photobucket
Heidi's Instagram


Missing Person Kristin Snyder: Lost in a Sea of Myths Pt 2

The next part in our forensic postmortem of the mockumentary The Lost Women of NXIVM will consist of dissecting the major proponents surrou...