Wednesday, April 1, 2015

A Reader Finds her way back to Female

 I wanted to share this recent email from a reader:

"I have been following your blog for the past week and I just wanted to say to you how grateful I am for what you are doing. I have been through a LOT of pain during the past couple of years, trying to figure out who I was and what I was supposed to be. I still find it very hard to even write this at the moment, but it is something I really wanted to do cause I want to relate to the people who have been through the same journey. I have always been questioning my presumed "gender identity" throughout my whole life, thinking that deep down inside there was much more hidden behind the "presumed" lesbian mask I thought I was carrying. I have always identified myself as a lesbian and thought I was ok with it, even if I knew there was always something in the back of my mind which reminded me of that powerful and nearly irresistible desire to go " a step further" and be "entitled" to a male body. It took me so long to get to the point where I am now, where I am starting to actually wake up to a new reality and realising how profoundly wrong I was.Tears of despair, so many moments of overwhelming frustration which I believe only people who go through the same can understand. I am now realising I did not need to carry that heavy rock on my heart. I could have managed everything differently by looking at the problem from a more realistic perspective .It seems so simple now, that I am gradually starting my research on what really is there behind the idea of transitioning from a biological female to this "idealized" man I have always secretly wanted to be.Your phrase really touched my heart. It is true."You don't need to change your body, you need to change your mind!" I don't think any words have ever meant that much to me and to hear it from someone who was ready to completely mutilate her female body it is SOOO much powerful and so reassuring. I am sure you already know how important it is to spread this message, but I still hope you will keep on doing this, because it means a lot for people like me who are desperately trying to "reconnect" to that inner self which is probably covered in shame-rage-pain and too afraid to really have her say. I would be so grateful if you could give me the opportunity to share views with you on the subject as this would mean a great deal to my life right now. 

Again, thank you!!!!"


  1. Wonderful. I wish we had more content such as this. Perhaps someday gender identity will be a total non-issue, huh? Am I dreaming?

  2. Dear Reader,
    There's plenty of us out there. If you need more interactive support, 23xx on tumblr hosts a detransitioned support forum that's welcoming to any female whos ever considered transition and is either questioning that or has decided to not transition. I'm glad that you found Dirt and that you are digging your way out.

  3. We welcome you back with open arms Sister!

    -A Lesbian

  4. Welcome back to sisterhood!
    I hope you find your way in life and I wish you all the best. <3

  5. Thank you for this insightful and awesome article!

  6. Our welcome back to authenticity is also true to a woman with the battle scars of surgery - lesbians have never turned each other away because of scars.
    Come back, we got you.