Doing Woman Different: Joan of Arc

Joan of Arc-(Jeanne d'Arc in French) was a peasant girl born around 1412 in Domremy France.
Jeanne grew up in a very turbulent time in France, where the country was largely divided between two factions, the Armagnac and the Burgundian. The Armagnac were "led by the Duke of Orleans and Count of Armagnac before becoming linked with the uncrowned Dauphin," later to be crowned Charles VII due to Jeanne's voice driven efforts. The Burgundian supported the Duke of Burgundy, "who allied himself with the English in 1420."

When Jeanne was around 12, she began having visions from the Archangel Michael, St Catherine and St. Margaret, predominantly. These visions demanded Jeanne lead the French in battle to regain parts of France back from the English and establish Charles VII as the crowned Dauphin. 

Five years later in 1429 Jeanne "convinced Lord Robert de Baudricourt to provide an escort of soldiers to bring her to the Royal Court at Chinon. After an eleven-day journey through enemy-held territory, she was allowed to present her case to the Dauphin Charles. He was encouraged by her words but sent her to the city of Poitiers to be examined by a group of high-ranking clergy, including the Archbishop of Rheims, the Inquisitor of Toulouse, several Bishops, and a number of prominent theologians. They told Charles that "nothing improper has been found in her, only good, humility, chastity, piety, propriety, simplicity."

Charles then gave Jeanne the leadership of a small army to accompany her to Orleans. Through a series of successful battles, Jeanne led the French to beat the English and thereby bring Charles VII to Rheims where his coronation took place just as Jeanne's voices claimed.

Somewhere between these events and the voices, Jeanne continued, army in tow trying to further French rule against the English. Her visions predicted she would be captured "before St. John's Day" (June 24th 1430) and so she was.

"Joan was held at the fortress of Crotoy before being brought to Rouen, the seat of the English occupation government. Although Inquisitorial procedure required suspects to be held in a Church-run prison, and female prisoners to be guarded by nuns rather than male guards (for obvious reasons), Joan was held in a secular military prison with English soldiers as guards. According to several eyewitness accounts, she complained that these men tried to rape her on a number of occasions, for which reason she clung to her soldiers' clothing and kept the hosen, hip-boots and tunic "firmly laced and tied together" with dozens of cords - her only means of protecting herself against rape, since a dress didn't offer any such protection. The tribunal eventually decided to use this against her by charging that it violated the prohibition against cross-dressing,
a charge which intentionally ignored the exemption allowed in such cases of necessity by medieval doctrinal sources such as the "Summa Theologica" and "Scivias". The eyewitnesses said that Joan pleaded with Cauchon to transfer her to a Church prison with women to guard her, in which case she could safely wear a dress; but this was never allowed," 

As various charges fell by the way side for lack of evidence or just plain lack, Jeanne was eventually convicted of CROSS DRESSING! Thrown back into prison before her execution, and given only a dress to wear as her soldiers uniform was taken, greater efforts by male guards and others to rape her increased until Jeanne was given her soldier's uniform back. Her English captors gave Jeanne the very same clothes to prevent the rapes she alleged for needing them in the first place!

Jeanne was burned at the stake in 1431 at the tender age of 19.

The court (all men) told Jeanne "The belief which you may have had in such illusions, put it away from you. Believe rather in the words and opinions of the University of Paris and other Doctors, who, knowing the law of God and Holy Scripture, decide that no faith should be placed in such apparitions, nor should faith be placed in any extraordinary apparitions, in any novelty which is not supported by Holy Scripture, by a sign, or by a miracle." 

Jeanne D'Arc, an illiterate peasant girl did woman different and was woman different. Different perhaps because of all else, she believed what she KNEW was true, rather than believe authoritative learned men she KNEW, knew nothing. Men whose male privilege couldnt grasp why a young imprisoned woman guarded by all males would feel so threatened that she'd prefer male garb to women's. Even when Jeanne declared " is more lawful and suitable for me to resume it and to wear man's dress, being with men, than to have a woman's dress" her simple reasoning fell on ignorant deaf male ears. The male court/authorities burned Jeanne at the stake NOT for hearing voices, speaking to angels or being in touch with God, Jeanne was burned at the stake because she superseded male privilege and refused to be raped!!!


All photo's from the 1928 film The Passion of Joan (1928). Maria Falconetti lived and died in the role Jeanne. Her performance is considered the greatest acting performance in film EVER. The entire film is straight from Jeanne's trial transcripts.

Leslie Feinberg-Lyme Disease+Testosterone=Death

Leslie Feinberg began taking synthetic testosterone through a sex change program around 1970 before she was 21:
In Feinberg's Journal of a Transsexual published in 1980 she speaks of being in this sex change program for four years:
It was around this time Feinberg remembers getting the first symptoms of tick borne Lyme disease, which is the bulls eye rash explained here:
Feinberg says:
Feinberg discussed in Trans liberation Beyond Pink and Blue (1998) her undiagnosed issues from untreated endocarditis from 1995-1996 that nearly killed her:

Outside of the four initial years Feinberg said she was on synthetic testosterone, there is only the general knowledge of her on and off testosterone use till her diagnosis from Lyme disease where she seems to have completely ceased using or mentioning using testosterone ever again.
Lyme disease/co diseases and endocarditis have in relationship to Feinberg several things in common:

1) Feinberg suffered from them both.
2) Both react negatively/dangerously from testosterone injections.
3) Feinberg suffered from Lyme disease, endocarditis and had a history of using testosterone.

The two prime synthetic testosterone's used in female transition are:
 Some facts about Lyme disease and Testosterone:
Some facts about Endocarditis and Trans females injecting Testosterone:

What is known:
1) Feinberg contracted Lyme disease around the time she was in a sex change program injecting testosterone.
2) Feinberg had heart/heart valve damage in the mid 90's likely caused by needles from injecting testosterone. Feinberg doesnt publicly share how she succumbed to contracting Endocarditis and outside of testosterone injections there is no reason to suspect any other intravenous drug use.
3) Testosterone use masks many Lyme and Endocarditis symptoms prolonging proper diagnosis/treatment.
4) Testosterone proliferates Lyme and co-diseases of Lyme which Feinberg wasa self proclaimed use.
5) Testosterone hastened Feinberg's death in a myriad of ways, but most significantly through Lyme Disease/Endocarditis.

Links associated with this post:


Leslie Feinberg MURDERED

I recently posted about the very ill health of Leslie Feinberg in effort to start chronicling the demise of known, well known and once leading lesbians destroyed through/by transition, particularly the dangers and in Leslie's case mortal effects of short and long term testosterone use in females.

Leslie Feinberg is dead, murdered. But you wont hear that around the queer news water cooler, instead you will hear:

What you wont see published ANYWHERE except here is the fucking sick woman hating TRUTH! LESLIE FEINBERG WAS MURDERED!!!!

I wont grieve for the leslie feinberg in those news articles. I grieve for Diane Leslie Feinberg, Butch lesbian, whose fear and female shame never were resolved, seen through their worst so that she could later flower into full bloom, bringing every eye lain upon her Butch born beauty, to tears.

In a different life I could have been her, that thought frightens me down to the very marrow in my bones

In a different life, she could have been me, the thought that she for a myriad of reasons was never able to, angers me with such a rage only volcano's or oceans know.


FTM Detransition and the Ugly Hidden Truths of Testosterone Use

These videos were emailed to me earlier in the week.

Detransition 1

Detransition 2

Brave videos documenting the drastic changes testosterone use creates for the female body AND brain.

Highlighted are:

  • Emotional disconnect from taking testosterone
  • Emotional deadness from taking testosterone
  • Emotional emptiness from taking testosterone
  • Suicidal thoughts from taking testosterone
  • Lack of empathy/compassion for others from taking testosterone
  • Heightened anger from taking testosterone
  • Rapid aging from taking testosterone
  • Inability to feel deeply from taking testosterone
  • Inability to FEEL beauty from taking testosterone
  • Inability to control anger/angry words from taking testosterone
  • Difficulty/inability to reach emotional heights/depths that lead to crying from taking testosterone
  • Loss of the core self from taking testosterone
  • Losing deep emotion without realizing losing it from taking testosterone
Testosterone doesnt merely hide femaleness, it kills it. And femaleness is much much more than, breasts, hips, wombs-it having the capacity to reach emotions mountains deep, yours, mine and ours.


Trans Nation-Gay/Lesbian Genocide and the Dangers of Political Correctness

Ironically while contemplating writing this post, an interesting thing happened at work. The office has a computer guy who comes in twice a week to deal with any computer/system issues. Thursday, they day he comes in, my computer decided to wig out straight away. He walked into the room right as I was having issues. He went to the managers desk and asked her how things were and she said something like "the lesbian's computer isnt working" while motioning to me. He looked at her and said her name in a tone of disapproval and reproach. She said "what?...she calls me a ho." To which I responded with "I do use 'my' in front of it."

For the sake of context, I work with all women, mostly black women, born, raised and living in the heart of Detroit and the manager who is middle eastern American-all of us pull-yourself-up-by-your-boot-straps working class gals. An average day consists of hearing THOT (that ho over there), nigger, lezbo, lezzie, lesbian, arab/rab, bitch, ho, husbitch and assorted other non PC words, all spoken to convey something specific or for sisterhood.

After the computer guy swapped out my computer and I was working, he came up after fixing something else and asked me very seriously "Are you okay?" I thought he was asking was the PC working properly. So he added "I'm really offended by what ______ said to you." "Its really bothering me." And it was obvious from the look on his face he wasnt kidding. I assured him we joke around with each other and I'm in no way offended. I actually was worried he might go to the company's owner and say something, so I totally stressed every thing was hunky dory. I later inform my manager just in case it escalated. While I did appreciate this man's concern, it raises issues I'll discuss further in this post, particularly part II.

Language is THE primary source of communication, not only with other people but also with ourselves. We think, reason and express ourselves with the gift of words. Language is so important, experts believe there to be an actual cut off with which to acquire language. There is interestingly a Darwinian survival of the fittest among languages. There are roughly 7,000 different languages today, with nearly half of those on the endangered language list and a great many more that are extinct already.

There are varying reasons languages go extinct, most reasons trace back to the colonization of one group over another. For example many Tribal Indian languages were replaced by English, French, Portuguese, Spanish, or Dutch. Along with Tribal Indian customs, language too was forbidden by whites to many Indian tribes. The odd poverty stricken reservation struggling to hold on to some semblance of past Indian culture is all that remains of the Indians in the US and Canada today. Tribal Indian (known better under the white liberal political (PC) correct dictatorship as Native Americans) colonization and co-option by white/Europeans (Americans) sadly is more the rule to why language/cultures disappear rather than the exception.

Along with eradicating a cultures language, dominant groups use language itself in the destruction of chosen groups. Language drained nearly dry of all meaning, then pumped full of artifice deceptively leading humans like lambs to a their slaughter. The Third Reich raised the bar on removing just enough meaning from words then smartly replacing the empty contents with with the blood of death itself. Suddenly words like liquidation, final solution, jewish question, Canada, selection, T4 etc held different meanings for the victims than they did the Nazis. That confusion helped Nazi Germany to systematically murder over 10 million humans.

Civil Rights activist Medgar Evers said "you can kill a man, but you cant kill an idea." Ideas are thought up, shared and enforced by language. Cultures can both be killed by the starvation of their language or killed with it. In the next part to this post I will discuss how Gay/Lesbian history, culture, dialects, sexuality, etc has been/is being colonized, co-opted, eradicated and replaced by the larger Queer sect and how PC Liberals are helping that process.


Femme Charms

Femme Charms.
They do their harm.
They smile, woo, then ruin.

Yours sing a different tune.

I'm not one to promise the moon.
How soon is soon?

Femme Charms.
Oh how Yours warms.
The warning bells are silent.

My ears deafen to the voices in lament.

Your heart reaches beyond my chest.
Your hand is stopped by each others flesh.

Femme Charms.
Will there be times you roll your eyes and throw up your arms?
Nobody knows.

We all deal differently with life's woes.

From their head tops to their toes.
Your Charms hold I find, not merely love-but hope.


The Butch/Dyke Divide-Never the Twain Shall Meet-Nor Do They Have To

The Dyke population is not only the LARGEST population of lesbians in the world, they are also the most visible in both TV/Film/News and the general public/lesbian events. A few of the more popular examples of dyke:

Dykes range like the dyke collage above, from smart, attractive, sporty, intelligent, passionate, prideful, talented, musical to name but a few positives gracing dyke populations everywhere. For all intents and purposes our most well known dykes and many in our home dyke communities are something to aspire to. It has long been in admiration myself for many of these dykes that has long puzzled me in seeing so very many dykes through the years desperately trying to reach for some imagined attainable Butch-hood always beyond their reach. Not satisfied with their own uniqueness, dykes have a continued history of innocently mislabeling themselves as Butch or labeling themselves as Butch with Malice Aforethought.

I can remember as a baby Butch (pre internet) with hope in my heart trying to find any information I could about Butch lesbians after I had first heard the word and felt for the first time there were other girls like me. I can also remember the disappointment each time I hunted down a butch artist or actor or writer. Disappointed because their experiences, stories and lives outside of female attraction I shared nothing in common with. I can acutely recall after running across Lee Lynch's name, a "butch author writing about butch lives and loves." I couldnt wait to read her!

 Imagine my surprise (am I channeling Holly Near) and shock opening the two Lee Lynch novels I had purchased at my local Lesbian bookstore? (Yes, once upon a time not only did bookstores exist, so to did lesbian/feminist owned and operated ones.) But I digress, instead of a shiny mirror where I expected to see myself through other women like me, what I saw was a story of men and women where the men had been replaced by some unrecognizable thing called butch. The situations, actions, interactions and romances between the female characters mirrored that of straight society right down to the little ladies and darlins tossed from the lips of butches where they treated delicate femmes like China dolls.

This butch dyke world no matter what direction I looked, history/book/music/pridefest or sport, none reflected my Butch interior/exterior, life, loves or desires. Transitioning from the written word to the real only proved more troublesome. Dykes either looked straight through me, sir'd me or wanted to be "butch buddies." In the decades since I've learned that as a Butch my observations/experiences with dykes were the norm rather than the exception.

But it wasnt until the internet age that I realized just how prevalent dyke envy and their colonization of Butch identity was. I also realized how misconstrued, misunderstood and misconceived dykes were portraying Butch. The butch that dykes were acting out on the big screen of their lives resembled biological men more than they ever resembled Butch women. But worse than these gross caricatures of Butch by dykes using our name, were these B movie renditions of Butch sold to willing movie goers as Hollywood true stories!

But the REAL story is:
  • Butch lesbians do not look like men.
  • Butch lesbians do not act like men.
  • Butch lesbians do not want to be men.
  • Butch lesbians are not the most visible lesbians.
  • Butch and Femme lesbian relationships do not mimic male/female ones.
  • Butch lesbians arent men.
  • Femmes lesbians arent straight women.
  • Butch lesbians havent all transitioned.
  • Butch lesbians rarely transition.
  • Butch lesbians are maternal.
  • Butch lesbians make great homemakers.
  • Butch lesbians dont in the majority play softball.
  • Butch lesbians arent all mr fix its.
  • Butch lesbians cant all read maps.
  • Butch lesbians can and do cook.
  • Butch lesbians do not use male pronouns.
  • Butch lesbians have girl names.
  • Butch lesbians are invisible to straight AND lesbian society.
  • Butch lesbians are attracted to Femme lesbians.
  • Butch lesbians ALL suffered from/through body dysphoria.
  • Butch lesbians arent all protective.
  • Butch lesbians sometimes need protecting.
  • Butch lesbians arent always in control.
  • Butch lesbians in the majority shave unwanted body hair.
  • Butch lesbians do not wear mens clothes, they wear clothes they are comfortable in.
  • Butch lesbians are Earth Mothers, NATURAL!
  • Butch Lesbians are butch without anyone noticing.
And FAR too many other subtle erred Butch depictions, portrayals and presumptions to list.
Chances are if you see a lesbian performing male, she isnt Butch, she's a DYKE! Dykes imitating men dont a Butch make! Say it with me...

Dykes imitating men don't a Butch make!

Not being a Butch lesbian isnt an insult. Being a dyke of any variety isnt an insult. All are nuances of nature. But not being true to your own unique nuance is a crime against nature, yourself and us all. It is normal in childhood to pretend to be someone you admire, in adulthood it is dysfunctional.


Another Fallen Transman: Diane Leslie Feinberg

Diane Leslie Feinberg (b. 1949)-known better as Leslie Feinberg the Transgender Warrior and author of Stone Butch Blues, is yet another well known lesbian who transitioned and is now in failing health. Actually she transitioned on and off over decades until failing health forced her to stop completely the male hormones that had long interfered with her condition. Leslie is believed to have been suffering from Lyme Disease that went undiagnosed for over thirty years. A disease giving its host serious symptoms of flu and fatigue, fatigue that was relieved over decades with each testosterone shot, giving a temporary feeling of all is well when it wasnt.

Leslie had once written painfully, even beautifully on the Butch lesbian experience and on Butch/Femme love and romance of the 50's and 60's. But she opted for transition in the 70's because she felt it would be easier living as a man than as a woman whom society thought was a man or didnt know what to think period, which she documents in Journal Of A Transsexual:

But giving into that struggle has proven far worse a fight that any Butch bully she might have faced had she not filled her veins with poison.

From frightened young Butch to transgender warrior to temporary hospice where she incoherently swings back and forth from Butch to trans in some strange johnny weissmuller paranoid mental jungle where Jane nor Cheeta can reach or rescue her.

Missing Person Kristin Snyder: Lost in a Sea of Myths Pt 2

The next part in our forensic postmortem of the mockumentary The Lost Women of NXIVM will consist of dissecting the major proponents surrou...