Listen to your GIRL Gut

I received this message a few days ago:
This woman spent less than 20 minutes on this blog, looking at only one post and the front page:
I highlight this as a typical example of hundreds of comments/emails etc this blog receives. Their visceral gut fear/anger precludes some readers from reading further, asking themselves why they had such a violent reaction or worse wanting to be violent toward me. The information here, the deep/wide concepts, the sociological histories, case histories, case studies, histories of mental illness/asylums and pseudo cures, systems of patriarchy and misogyny in specific forms and subtle, these arent subjects for the faint of heart anymore than they are subjects that can be devoured in twenty minutes no matter the appetite. Some of such subjects I have in one way or another studied for over forty years, others I have lived for at least forty seven. NONE have I spent the length of time it takes to bake a cake on, nor would I ever be so bold as to criticize something I had.

That gut feeling is something we all have, only as females from our earliest years we are taught, even pressured, NOT to listen. Ignore our fierce reactions, never asking why. Whether its seeing a man walking toward us on the street and our gut whispers 'cross the street, do not walk past this man'. Women have for centuries ignored their gut's keen advice, only for some of them to end up raped or worse, killed. All because we're conditioned to override our gut screaming at us, over possibly insulting a man.

We also have intense gut reactions to the things we read. Only in these instances females quickly cross the proverbial street, practically breaking their necks getting to the other side. It makes little difference whether females are on birth control hormones or testosterone, avoid the scary words like trick or treat children tonight are avoiding the scariest houses. Females are conditioned instead to listen to our hearts, there are a litany of songs sung to this notion. On this All Hallows Eve, I dare you to change your conditioned past by listening to your girl gut, for a far better future.


FTM Transmen Get Raped Before AND After Transition

A trans female did a recent search hitting this blog:
A hurt desperate frightened raped trans female seeking some kind of help or information for her special rape circumstance.

I pray she found some help, told the police, a hospital, told a friend or family member.

But is her circumstance special because she is a trans female? A trans female on testosterone? A trans female on testosterone with her breast removed? A trans female on testosterone, breast removed and bottom surgery, maybe even her vagina sewn shut?

The terrible fact is, so long as females are born under patriarchy's violent masculinist misogynistic systems where rape IS a male privilege, ALL biological females of ALL ages living or dead are vulnerable to rape.

  • Passing as a male isnt a shield against male violence or rape and trans females entering male private spaces (men's rooms/locker rooms/public showers/gay only bars/sex clubs) may even be more vulnerable within the den of the lions. 
  • Testosterone along with boosting muscle growth also boosts confidence levels which can give trans females a false sense of security when they are feeling a heightened sense of power. 
  • Trans females generally by their female nature are smaller on all points to that of men. Even trans females who are workout fiends and measure in height similarly to men, will not possess the same muscle pound per pound that men posses due to shorter limbs.
If it is too difficult to think of yourself as female, then in those times your female gut tugs at you, think of yourself as Matthew Shepard who believed his shared maleness with his murderers would keep him safe. But Matthew didnt have the advantage trans females have, we learn from birth we're vulnerable to male physical/sexual violence, NEVER forget it! It doesnt make you weak, it keeps you alive to breath another day.


A History of Homophobia and the Transition Cure-A Parents Answer to their Worst Fear

Toward the end of the 19th century and into the beginning of the 20th there was a move by leading sexologists to view/treat homosexuality as a birth defect from which the male/female homosexual had no agency. He or she was simply born that way, like a mentally or physically retarded person for example. So while homosexuality continued to be pathologized as abnormal/deviant, by viewing homosexuality as not the fault/choice of the sufferer, homosexuality could be something pitied/sympathized with rather than something the sufferer was arrested/confined to a mental asylum or tortured for.

Sexologist Havelock Ellis believed homosexuality was the inverse of male personality/female sex or female personality/male sex, which he named inversion. According to Ellis the female invert was considered "masculine in her habits from her earliest years." This sympathetic approach to inverts was employed by the lesbian writer Radclyff Hall in her notorious novel The Well of Loneliness based on her own lesbianism and Havelock Ellis's cases studies. But despite this early progress, homosexuality remained a birth defect in need of a cure.

Between 1948 (male homosexuals) and 1953 (female homosexuals) Alfred Kinsey's famous Kinsey report reveled a chilling number of homosexuals in the United States. Not so coincidentally the American Psychiatric Association published "the first official manual of mental disorders" under the DSM IDiagnostic and Statistical Manual: Mental Disorders) in 1952. Homosexuality remained a mental disorder within the DSM through several incarnations and wasnt removed until gay and lesbian political rights groups demanded and received its removal from the DSM II in 1973. BUT keep in mind, homosexuality was removed due to political pressure, NOT because psychiatry suddenly believed it was no longer abnormal/pathological or a threat to heterosexual norms. Immediately after the removal of homosexuality from DSM II, work began on the DSM III published 7 years later and where homosexuality had been removed, Gender Identity Disorder was put in its place. Where it remained through the DSM IV and continues in its current embodiment today in the DSM5 as Gender Dysphoria. 

Long before Psychiatry was born, homosexuality was pathologized and punished, including biblically by God himself. Some methods of modern psychology employed to treat/cure homosexuality are: psychoanalysis, psychoanalytically-oriented psychotherapy, a multitude of behavioral therapies (cognitive/reparative/aversion), rational psychotherapy, exaggeration therapy, fixed-role therapy, and many other group psychotherapy approaches-all have failed to cure homosexuals of their being homosexual.

American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from its mental health bible in 1973, mental health professionals continued to view homosexuality as abnormal and continued trying to find a treatment or cure for it. This unwavering societal/social/religious/medical belief that homosexuality equals wrong/abnormal/abominable continues today just as promises from psychologists/therapists exist today in trying to cure it, despite gay and lesbian human rights progresses. The simple fact is in 2014, NO parent truly wants or wishes to have a gay or lesbian child. The reasons for this vary, from fear for their child to fear of what would family/friends even neighbors think, to outright pure evil hatred.

Early sexologists such as Magnus Hirschfeld, Havelock Ellis, Harry Benjamin (all three today are associated with transgenderism) and all those influenced by them (past/present/future) associated homosexuality with inversion. The only homosexuals they believed who were truly gay or lesbian were the sissy fag and the mannish dyke. More than the same sex attraction factor was dress and behaviour. The sissy fag may have a swish in his walk, he may like things/clothes/objects society deems to be strictly girl/woman, he may even become a female impersonator. The mannish dyke may refuse to conform to the gender strict rules society has outlined for females. She may be rough and tumble in her play, she may prefer pants to dresses, she may even prefer the company of boys/men to girls/women. Male/Female homosexuals who do not easily/visually fit (or slide) into these out dated ignorant notions of who is gay/lesbian, were and continue to have their sexuality questioned and/or shock those they come out to. As a result society/psychiatry has and continues to focus its (negative) attention on those they feel can be identified as gay or lesbian visually/behaviourally (behaviour again having nothing to do with same sex attraction).

Given this historical, persistent threat of seemingly recognizable homosexuals, psychiatry was up in arms when forced to remove homosexuality from its subjective bible of mental illness. In its collective psychiatric mind it had for decades been experimenting on changing the sex of mostly men believed to be homosexual through narrow behavioural qualifiers rather than actual homosexual attraction. With homosexuality no longer a mental disorder the APA created a new diagnostic loophole based on sexologist/pro pedophile John Money's theory of Gender Identity, later Gender Identity Disorder.

Decades before GID was dreamed up and added to the DSM, psychiatry was treating male inverts (sissy fags), straight male cross dressers and the odd female invert (dykes/Butches) with a kinda of opposite sex transition. This involved high doses of synthetic male/female hormones and various (brutal) surgeries to physically force the patient to visually/behaviourally reflect current social/societal male/female norms. Transition, from a most cursory glance seemed to be the ONLY way to change the homosexual invert or cross dresser. Think of a child's puzzle game where the child learns to put a round wood peg through a round whole and the square peg through the square hole. Psychiatry, with the help of medical doctors shaved down the square till they could shove it through the round hole.

Psychiatry had for centuries tried changing the homosexual square peg into the heterosexual round peg without success. Through transition, it appeared by modifying the external with drugs/surgeries the homosexual could then appear heterosexual. But more importantly than the homosexual component was for example, the sissy fag who loved pink toys and playing house as a boy or any other stereotype befitting most girls/women, by altering his appearance to that of a woman in some sense, his behaviours suddenly fell in line like pearls on a dangling necklace.

It it from between the legs of homophobia and strict social gender norms that transgenderism as we know it today, was born.

No matter the person seeking transition and no matter the reason why they seek it, because GID/GD are intimately linked to homosexuality via psychiatry/society, there is a strong assumption that every transsexual is homosexual at worst, bisexual at least. This grave homophobia in both society and psychiatry opened the door for the APA to include a special addition in the DSM5 published last May. The addition is for children who do not conform to current consumer driven sex stereotypes to be diagnosed as Gender Dysphoria, despite dysphoria having no known occurrence in per-pubescent humans. In other words, children who would be suspect of growing up into healthy adult gay or lesbians.

The Gender Dysphoria label is a license for parents who have more fear/hatred at having a homosexual child/adult than they fear/hate having a child they can tell themselves and others has a birth defect that can be corrected with drugs/surgeries like any other dis/ease. Gender Dysphoria/Gender Incongruence is the ultimate Get-Out-Having-a-Gay-child free card. One doctor said: "I see between one and five new trans kids a week," said Dr. Olson. "So the growth is tremendous. We've had something like a 330 percent increase over the year of 2013. It's just phenomenal."

From centuries before psychiatry's mental illness bible to the three decades homosexuality lay between its pages in the DSM, all attempts/treatments to stop or cure homosexuality were unsuccessful. Mannish dykes and nancy boy fags persisted like a slap in the face of psychiatry and a challenge to gender norms for societies everywhere. But eradicating their blatant homosexual presence in childhood has become a triumph for modern psychiatry/medicine and a valid excuse for homophobic parents seeking a gay/lesbian cure before it gets out of hand or their child gets beyond the playground.


The Curious Case of Gender Dysphoria

Gender Dysphoria is a disorder created and used by the American Psychiatric Association (DSM5) to diagnose patients for whom physical/mental/social transition is the ONLY treatment offered. Currently there is no known cure.

There are over 300 disorders in the DSM5, but only ONE (gender dysphoria) disorder where:
  • Individuals will self ID before a diagnosis, with the TREATMENT for the disorder, rather than the disorder itself. (Think-not knowing you had cancer but claiming you are a chemo patient)
  • Individuals appear happy in their self diagnosis of this disorder and excited to receive an official medical diagnosis of GD. 
  • Individuals with a GD diagnosis will "come out" (in the way gays/lesbians have/do) to parents/peers/co workers etc.
  • Healthy functioning non brain body parts are removed and/or rearranged in bizarre ill functioning fashions.
  • Treatment can literally change sexual desire/attraction. 
  • A complete change/shift in social experience/strata is expected/desired once treatment begins.

Trans Trending-Who is Transitioning

TS-Age 19

BM-Age 21


EZ-Age 16

Ash-Age (youth)

CS-Age 15

CT-Age 20

Kin-Age (youth)

RC-Age 22

What these young women have to look forward to in the next coming years: Transgender Stealth Anxiety Disorder for starters.

The Primary Symptoms of Transgender Stealth Anxiety Disorder are as follows:

  • Hypervigilance
  • Anxiety
  • Paranoia 
  • Hypersensitivity (to perceived criticism)
  • ‏Narcissism/Egocentrism
Secondary Symptoms
  • Mood swings/Moodiness
  • Depression
  • Relationship difficulties (with peers/partners/families)
  • Anger/Hostility
  • Defensiveness

Another Fallen Transman: Karlyn Lotney-Health Woe's & Money Pleas

Like the once popular successful ex lesbian Pat Califia, another seemingly successful ex lesbian now trans female Kinky Karlyn Lotney is also in ill health and seeking donation funds from strangers online for personal financial support.

Lotney was a college graduate, had a book published, spoke and has written about lesbian and trans female sex in many different media (some well known) venues.

Then Lotney began her transition (testosterone injections) around 2001, by 2005 she suffered a cardiac event, a year later breast cancer.

She had a double mastectomy, beating breast cancer and continued with the ongoing process of transition where her mental and physical health continued downhill along with her previous successes.
Now on state assistance, Lotney recently found a doctor who would take her tax paid insurance so that she could receive surgical weight loss surgery for her debilitating obesity.
But like the instant gratification she sought transition for and its failure to deliver, instead mentally/medically compromising her life, the weight loss surgery has nearly killed her as well.

 The latest update was posted two weeks ago:
Sadly in our post queer theory, post Trans Trending lesbian nation, this story of the once successful lesbian ball breaking the glass ceiling who then transitions, only to flounder later on in health, finance and opportunity, is fast becoming the norm. Dare we ask "who's next?" Testosterone not only isnt living up to the long term expectation of trans females, it is killing their past lucrative careers and killing them as well.


Transgender Stealth Anxiety Disorder

With inept diagnoses, unthought-out monstrous treatment, no forethought or care for post treatment day to day living, tragic though it is, we shouldn't be at all surprised that the treatment for Gender Dysphoria (GID repackaged by the DSM) creates other disorders while claiming to cure the original (GD).

After the first small wave of early Trans Trending females (post queer theory) and the massive transition of trans females (mostly lesbian youths) in the last five years, one such NEW disorder has arisen to stalk/plague the Trans female community-Transgender Stealth Anxiety Disorder.

The primary goal the female who transitions aspires to, is passing as the biological sex they were not naturally born. Relieving dysphoria is a by product of the primary goal, despite it being the primary goal the Mental Health Community outlines in the DSM. Great care, study, and effort goes into passing not merely before transition but years and years into the life long treatment that is transition.

Like an actor researching for an Oscar worthy role, the trans female patient studies the males around her, on television, in the street and wherever she encounters them for clues on how to be a something she knows intimately that she isn't-a man. Once she begins passing as a biological man to the general public/strangers etc, with lightening speed her mind darts between men and herself, herself and men.  This ceaseless, sizing, measuring, quantifying herself against a male backdrop creates an endless pathological inner hyper distressing dialogue. The question at the end of each of these inner conversations is something like can they tell I'm not a real man? There is a deep pathological fear of being found out for who SHE truly is once she begins passing.

The Primary Symptoms of Transgender Stealth Anxiety Disorder are as follows:

  • Hypervigilance
  • Anxiety
  • Paranoia 
  • Hypersensitivity (to perceived criticism)
  • ‏Narcissism/Egocentrism
Secondary Symptoms
  • Mood swings/Moodiness
  • Depression
  • Relationship difficulties (with peers/partners/families)
  • Anger/Hostility
  • Defensiveness

Currently this disorder has no known treatment or cure.


Doing a different Doing Woman Different: Rose Williams

Rose Williams 1909-1996
Rose Williams was the slightly older sister and later muse to the great American playwright Tennessee Williams.

When Virginia Woolf imagined (1927/8) to herself what would have happened if Shakespeare had a sister (Judith) as equally gifted as he, the Williams family couldnt have imagined their first two children would play out Woolf's supposition to a near perfect tee.

Rose and Tom (three years her jr) were said to be as close as twins are often perceived. Part of that closeness may have been in reaction to their father who was violent when he drank, which was often and their mother the stereotype of the aging southern belle still full of the southern/Victorian proprieties she abused her daughter with. Both Rose and Tom were highly sensitive, introspective, intelligent and imaginative. Because Rose didnt go on to be the star her brother would later become, her biographical information isnt as detailed.

What we do know is puberty was difficult for both Rose and Tom. Tom, due to his budding homosexuality and Rose for her female sexuality which was forbidden by her genteel/prudish mother/society. Tom escaped into writing and dreams of being a writer while Rose was subjected to the dutiful good girl daughter role for which there seemed no escape. Somewhere between her being standoffish toward interested boys, laughing out loud (unrefined), hunching her shoulders inward hiding her breast and the perceived 'hysteria' from her unladylike spiritedness, Rose's mother sent her away to school in Vicksburg in 1925.
Around age 18, Rose suffered from stomach issues which became increasingly worse after not garnering marriage proposals or employment. She was later diagnosed by a psychiatrist as having a fear of sex. Tom went on to college and working on various writing works. Rose remained at home, subject to the ongoing fights between her parents and her mother's constant disapproval. In her mid twenties Rose was sent to a state mental hospital and diagnosed with Dementia Precox (Schizophrenia).

On a home visit Rose accused her father of sexual abuse/rape and spewed obscenities at her mother. Both parent forced her back to the hospital, said she was hysterical and her mother demanded the doctors to "Do anything, anything to shut her up!" Rose's mother signed papers for her to be the recipient of the new cure for various mental illnesses-a bilateral prefrontal lobotomy in 1943 behind her son's back.
For all intents and purposes while Rose would exist another 53 years in a mental hospital, she stopped living the second her mind was hacked to pieces. The following year Tennessee Williams' play The Glass Menagerie based on Rose would launch his writing career for decades to come.

There have and remains dire consequences for doing woman different. Doing woman different means risking the pathologizing of your natural behaviour/actions and desired potentials for your sex. It has gotten hundreds of thousands of women committed to mental asylums where they receive a lifetime of horrors in the form of insulin shock, electric shock, torture, brain mutilation and an execution of mind altering drugs for which there is no escape. Psychiatry has changed little since its inception several hundred years ago. A discipline created to first qualify and then modify any behaviour the culture of the day deems abnormal/unnatural by any means possible. As it was created by men and used for men, women were and are its primary targets.

The truly amazing thing is, some women have the bravery, tenacity, genius, talent and above all LUCK to do women different and succeed in their field. Women who have been featured here in just these posts. But the reality is, far more women, like Rose Williams who did woman too different, are lost forever.

I dedicate this post to all the women who were/are pathologized for doing woman different. Who fight and fought like hell against the diagnosis subjectively stamped on their life with permanent ink, till life was stamped out of them. There is no metal for bravery for those unarmed women who did/do woman different, when their difference was normal ONLY to them. But there should.


Trans Trending-Who is Transitioning

CS-Age 15

CT-Age 20



KB-Age 21

RD-Age 20


TBV-Age 13

KH-Age (youth)

What is horribly sad about trans female videos is whether it is their first video or a 10 year anniversary video, the underlying deep sadness present in the first videos remains in all future videos.

"The vase reconstructed/houses the elusive rose." Sylvia Plath


FTM Bottom Surgery: Fibula Free Flap Phalloplasty

The fibula free flap bottom surgery for trans females came about for several reasons. While the radial forearm flap became the prime trans female bottom surgery standard, it was however fraught with difficulties for both doctors and patients. The forearm of the patient is horrifically/permanently scarred, the surgically created phallus often developed fistula's (the shaft springs a leak) when used for urination, multiple surgeries required if the phallus is desired for penetration and even necrosis (death of the phallus) from poor blood supply.

The fibula free flap phalloplasty hoped to eliminate most issues that were reported in the radial forearm flap phalloplasty.
This surgery was inspired by the actual bone that is in a dog's penis (practiced on 33 cadaver legs) in effort to make the constructed phallus permanently rigid (hard) and therefore eliminate another surgery for phallic implant stiffeners. There a several steps to this surgery, first a tube (catheter) is inserted into the lower leg and gradually larger and larger catheters are used, forcing the lower leg to grow additional skin thickness. Second, a piece of the fibula bone is removed from the lower leg to be used to wrap the extra leg skin around, forming the rigid dog like phallus.
The issue of the unsightly forearm scar is solved with the fibula free flap surgery IF you choose to never wear shorts again, perhaps consider moving to a cold climate?
How well does this surgery work? A case study and short video.

In this case and any/all information I came across, the surgically created phallus has to be "slimmed" down in thickness for a more realistic penis appearance. The phallus has to be dilated (something shoved in and out of the phallus regularly) to keep the hole from closing. The phallus must also be daily shaved because the leg hairs on the phallus will continue to grow and grow more often/thicker due to testosterone injections. The leg where the bone is removed remains weak to a great degree, impairing normal function for the life of the patient.

Like the radial forearm flap, the fibula free flap leaves atrocious scarring, poor appearance, a multitude of additional surgeries, poor urinary/sexual function including impairing a healthy leg.


Doing Woman Different: Anne Sexton

On this day in 1974 the American Pulitzer Prize winning poet Anne Sexton took her life.
How It Is
By Maxine W. Kumin

Shall I say how it is in your clothes?
A month after your death I wear your blue jacket.   
The dog at the center of my life recognizes   
you’ve come to visit, he’s ecstatic.
In the left pocket, a hole.
In the right, a parking ticket
delivered up last August on Bay State Road.   
In my heart, a scatter like milkweed,
a flinging from the pods of the soul.
My skin presses your old outline.
It is hot and dry inside.

I think of the last day of your life,
old friend, how I would unwind it, paste   
it together in a different collage,
back from the death car idling in the garage,   
back up the stairs, your praying hands unlaced,   
reassembling the bits of bread and tuna fish   
into a ceremony of sandwich,
running the home movie backward to a space   
we could be easy in, a kitchen place
with vodka and ice, our words like living meat.

Dear friend, you have excited crowds
with your example. They swell
like wine bags, straining at your seams.   
I will be years gathering up our words,   
fishing out letters, snapshots, stains,
leaning my ribs against this durable cloth
to put on the dumb blue blazer of your death.

Like Maxine Kumin, fellow poet and best friend of Anne's, we'll momentarily rewind Sexton's life.

Sexton was born in Massachusetts in 1928 to a middle class family who didnt recognize her poetic talents, her mother according to Sexton even belittling them to the point she gave them up. Regardless, after high school Sexton for a short bit did attend a women's liberal arts college and did some local modeling. 
Not quite 20 years old, Sexton did what was expected of her and married in 1948. Having her first child Linda in 1953, Sexton soon after suffered her first breakdown-likely postpartum depression combined with grief over losing her beloved great aunt "nana." In '54 after the birth of her second child Joy, Sexton suffered another breakdown and hospitalization. On her birthday in 1956 Sexton attempted the first in a long occasional series of suicide attempts. Sexton's psychiatrist Dr. Martin Orne suggested to Anne that she try to write poetry again as a means of writing her way back to a healthy mind. 

You Dr. Martin

You, Doctor Martin, walk
from breakfast to madness. Late August,
I speed through the antiseptic tunnel
where the moving dead still talk
of pushing their bones against the thrust
of cure. And I am queen of this summer hotel
or the laughing bee on a stalk

of death. We stand in broken
lines and wait while they unlock
the doors and count us at the frozen gates
of dinner. The shibboleth is spoken
and we move to gravy in our smock
of smiles. We chew in rows, our plates
scratch and whine like chalk

in school. There are no knives
for cutting your throat. I make
moccasins all morning. At first my hands
kept empty, unraveled for the lives
they used to work. Now I learn to take
them back, each angry finger that demands
I mend what another will break

tomorrow. Of course, I love you;
you lean above the plastic sky,
god of our block, prince of all the foxes.
The breaking crowns are new
that Jack wore.
Your third eye
moves among us and lights the separate boxes
where we sleep or cry.

What large children we are
here. All over I grow most tall
in the best ward. Your business is people,
you call at the madhouse, an oracular
eye in our nest. Out in the hall
the intercom pages you. You twist in the pull
of the foxy children who fall

like floods of life in frost.
And we are magic talking to itself,
noisy and alone. I am queen of all my sins
forgotten. Am I still lost?
Once I was beautiful. Now I am myself,
counting this row and that row of moccasins
waiting on the silent shelf. 

Dr. Martin discussed Sexton's poems with her, encouraging her to enroll in John Holmes poetry workshop. 

For John, Who Begs Me Not To Enquire Further
Not that it was beautiful,
but that, in the end, there was
a certain sense of order there;
something worth learning
in that narrow diary of my mind,
in the commonplaces of the asylum
where the cracked mirror
or my own selfish death
outstared me.
And if I tried
to give you something else,
something outside of myself,
you would not know
that the worst of anyone
can be, finally,
an accident of hope.
I tapped my own head;
it was a glass, an inverted bowl.
It is a small thing
to rage in your own bowl.
At first it was private.
Then it was more than myself;
it was you, or your house
or your kitchen.
And if you turn away
because there is no lesson here
I will hold my awkward bowl,
with all its cracked stars shining
like a complicated lie,
and fasten a new skin around it
as if I were dressing an orange
or a strange sun.
Not that it was beautiful,
but that I found some order there.
There ought to be something special
for someone
in this kind of hope.
This is something I would never find
in a lovelier place, my dear,
although your fear is anyone's fear,
like an invisible veil between us all…
and sometimes in private,
my kitchen, your kitchen,
my face, your face.

Holmes, like later male critics of her poetry were at first horrified, then threatened by the confessional nature of Sexton's work. What Holmes and others couldnt comprehend was that for Anne, poetry wasnt about creating aesthetic beauty. It was at first a device used to learn something more about herself in "
that narrow diary of my mind." But in that learning, the poems Sexton was writing were/are beautiful! Or as Sexton put it herself "out of used furniture I made a tree."
At first Sexton's work was all about her, using poetry to look inward. But through her success as a poet Sexton became an example and inspiration to other troubled people to utilize poetry as they would a therapist, to uncover and re/cover from remembered and forgotten wounds. As Sexton's fame grew, she received letters from those who identified with her from all over the world. She often responded to as many letters as she could, hoping others would find poetry as important and life inspiring as she did.

In 1967 Anne won the Pulitzer Prize for poetry for her book Live or Die. 

Sexton would end the book with these life affirming lines: "I say Live, Live because of the sun, the dream, the excitable gift".

Sexton was woman different. She was also a woman who pre-feminism, despite all the beauty she created with poetry (for herself and others) and the insights it provided for her about her wounded psyche, somewhere between the clutches of patriarchy's right hand (psychiatry) and its left (society)-she was strangled eventually to death.

Her Kind

I have gone out, a possessed witch,   
haunting the black air, braver at night;   
dreaming evil, I have done my hitch   
over the plain houses, light by light:   
lonely thing, twelve-fingered, out of mind.   
A woman like that is not a woman, quite.   
I have been her kind.

I have found the warm caves in the woods,   
filled them with skillets, carvings, shelves,   
closets, silks, innumerable goods;
fixed the suppers for the worms and the elves:   
whining, rearranging the disaligned.
A woman like that is misunderstood.
I have been her kind.

I have ridden in your cart, driver,
waved my nude arms at villages going by,   
learning the last bright routes, survivor   
where your flames still bite my thigh
and my ribs crack where your wheels wind.   
A woman like that is not ashamed to die.   
I have been her kind.

ANY women past, present or future who dares to do woman different has been Her Kind.


Doing Woman Different: Janis Joplin

On this day in 1970, the great legendary vocal spirit that was Janis Joplin, died at age 27.
Joplin was born in Port Arthur Texas, a conservative town to equally conservative parents. Early on Joplin felt herself to be a "misfit." As a teenager she fell in with a small group of other misfits and through them discovered "the blues."

In high school Janis was often called "pig", "freak", "nigger lover" and "creep." In 1960 she graduated and later enrolled at the U of Texas in Austin, for a time. The college paper ran a profile article on her in '62 titled "She Dares to Be Different" stating "She goes barefooted when she feels like it, wears Levi's to class because they're more comfortable, and carries her Autoharp with her everywhere she goes so that in case she gets the urge to break into song it will be handy." But with difference comes fear and dissent, she was voted by frat boys as "Ugliest Man on Campus."

Joplin left small minded Texas for hippified free spirited San Francisco where she found two major components that would dominate her short life, her voice and drugs. One lifted her up beyond her lonely misfit feelings and lack of connection, the other, buried those feelings in a host of temporary drug induced highs-until her last breath she never stopped chaser either.

Joplin's sharp rise to fame began in 1966 when she caught the attention of the band Big Brother and the Holding Company. She worked with Big Brother for several years before forming the Kozmic Blues Band and later the Full Tilt Boogie Band, performing at such iconic music events like Monterey International Pop Music Festival and Woodstock.


Janis's last studio album was simply titled Pearl (her nickname), released a year after her death-to 4X platinum acclaim with the well known much loved single Me and Bobbie Mcgee.

Janis Joplin did woman different, in how she carried woman, how she presented woman, even in how she sang as woman. It wasnt a popular move, but it made her popular. Joplin however had the keen insight to know that popularity didnt protect her against the loneliness that had dogged her through out her short life “On stage, I make love to 25,000 different people, then I go home alone.”And beyond that insight Joplin lived her life on high-transfixing/transforming, bulldozing and paving the way for future misfit girls with the promise of a life less lonely for having Janis as a Star in our personal skies.


The TRANSparency of Sex Roles

A brief visitor who spent just over 20 minutes here...
and summed up that the years of information dismantling the Gender Straight Jacket here was a crock and then some:
But like every naysayer before her and after, she proves all points made here herself. If she is in transition, she may pass for a man visually. But between her femaleness/female conditioning, she certainly doesnt react/read like a man. Men dont hope harm will come to you...


Missing Person Kristin Snyder: Lost in a Sea of Myths Pt 2

The next part in our forensic postmortem of the mockumentary The Lost Women of NXIVM will consist of dissecting the major proponents surrou...