Penetration and Dysphoria

Has/does penetrative (vaginal) sex or the idea thereof triggered a fight or flight response, anger, out of body feeling, uncomfortable or in a nutshell, dysphoric?



  1. Yes, in my case it was one of the things that made shrinks think I am transsexual. I'm still unsure if I want to go through physical transition or not. I even wanted to write one of your "why I haven't transitioned" stories, but I'm in the middle of changing my name, wearing a binder, telling my parents (who say it's a big mistake) and so on. I'll probably end up not transitioning, though. Your blog and Gallus's one have really helped me ease my dysphoria and find who I am. I might be a lesbian or not (still unsure about my sexuality and I'm 24 :( ), but now I'm quite sure I'm not transsexual. I just need to talk to experts about it, and that's why I'm still dubious.

  2. To Anonymous, it can be hard to find an "expert" who won't try to steer you down the transition path. Keep looking and talking until you find the one who will listen to you, to what you want and to what will make you feel most authentic with exactly who you are.

    Women are defined in terms of gender, by how we differ from men in looks, mannerisms, interests and abilities. That difference is mad-made. Men decided what gender looks, behaviors, roles were to be allowed for women. So, any abandonment of what men dictated "feels" like transgender. A woman, just acting like a human, without social or fashion constraints varies very little from what people expect of a man. So, it does feel disorienting for them. You "feel" male to them in your pattern of speech, interests, ideas, looks, etc. You just have to take the time to acknowledge it once or twice, ("yeah, I'm have kind of a masculine personality, interests, etc".) then they will come to accept you for being yourself.

    Gender is done TO women, it is enacted against us as strong, capable, contributing humans. It is done to falsely elevate the ruling class of men. Don't comply. Just be yourself. If enough of us do that, eventually, we will not have to bother with the explanations and acknowledgements. We can just be, without gender expectations or constraints. We can be free.

    1. "A woman, just acting like a human, without social or fashion constraints varies very little from what people expect of a man."

      Absolutely. Gender IS DONE TO US. And it was men who decided what was what was and what was not for women.

      So if a young girl isn't being "feminine" she is READ AS masculine or trying to be masculine or wanting to be a man/masculine or "a man trapped in a woman's body". READ AS. Because femininity/masculinity is the ONLY SCRIPT available. The pre-written script we are born into.

      This is why butch visibility, and the visibility of all women who stray from, as Dirt calls, the gender straight jacket, is SO CRUCIAL. And clearly, can save lives.

  3. Anon, the "experts" sadly arent to be trusted. If you do go this route, please exercise a great deal of caution and take nothing at face value. You are worth more than ANY doctors clinical opinion!


  4. pantypopo, what a wonderful and helpful comment!


  5. (I'm the first Anon): Millions of thank yous for your comments, pantypopo and Dirt! I will be cautious with the experts, then. Have a great life! :)

  6. It's no secret that penetration isn't necessary for female sexual pleasure or orgasm. Some women like it and some don't. I'm completely opposed to the idea that only penetration equals sex.

    @August 27, 2013 at 7:49 AM

    Excellent Post!

    Strange name, but great post...

  7. @Pantypoop....

    EXCELLENT BLOG.... I understand completely...

    I knew a married woman whose husband cross dressed. She loved this man so much, but she was being torn apart by it.

    The video of the trans knock down drag out fight at the taco stand was something else. They are so lady like.

  8. @Pantypoop....

    Sorry, it's pantypopo? LOVE YOUR BLOG....

  9. @pantypopo, you nail it!

    August 27, 2013 at 7:49 AM

    "Transgender Law and Policy Institute estimates the Transgender population at 2 – 5% of the US population. National Center for Transgender Equality reports that only 0.25 – 1.0 % of the US population are Transsexual, persons suffering from a complete psychosexual inversion who desire to transition to the opposite sex.

    The remaining 80 – 88% percent of the Transgender population are here: The Transvestites, Crossdressers and Autogynephiliacs. THIS is Transgender:

    Lots of information to read through...just exploring it..

  10. To the first anon, I'm a de-transitioned ftm and I do NOT recommend the path of transition. You are always more than welcome to contact me on my blog which is or on Facebook by searching my name. Be well, people care about you. Women care about you!

  11. (From the first Anon): Thank you, Heath! :)

  12. i can't handle penetration even though i'm not trans (i'm a woman). idk why, it's just been like that for years - not trauma induced either. it makes me feel vulnerable, panicky and just plain "get it off of me", even though i sleep with other women.

  13. To the first anon: I'm also detransitioned(from ftm) and available to talk anytime. I hope you will take me up on this--follow the link to my url. I want to echo what others here have said and caution you against relying on "experts" in this matter. Currently the DSM has it that "gender dysphoria" itself has one treatment path: physical and social transition. You don't even need to have "Gender Identity Disorder" anymore, just "dysphoria" to be tracked into this treatment. Basically, they have one tool--a hammer--and so they are apt to treat you like a nail. There are real and legitimate reasons for your dysphoria. Those reasons need to be recognized, and you need support. You don't need to be assisted by "experts" in what amounts to self-harming, leaving the root issues untreated. You deserve better than that.


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