Killing HER-The Dream of Transmen

This screencap comes to us via this tumblr, a young woman's angry, miserable and sad "ftM journey".

Like EVERY female transition before and after her, her journey begins with a deep hatred of the circumscribed role/expectation of girl/woman, viewed everywhere she looks. A view she also cannot identify with. A hatred that over time is internalized to such a degree, trans females want to erase all "traces" of female from their body. And by traces, meaning any visible signs of female emphasized by males/the Male Gaze, that illustrate softness, sex or weakness. In other words, anything that isnt visibly male or manly.

As I have been writing here for years, transition is a form of murder, a living death. And the violence of transition, regardless of whether transitioning toward female or away from her, IS its own form of Violence Against Women! Woman isnt something we can violently cut ourselves into, anymore than she is something was can violently cut from ourselves.

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Trans Trending-Who is Transitioning



JJ-Age 21

thatgraykidd-Age 16

HM-Age 18

Eli-Age 17

TogetherWeAreQueer-Age 18

RR-Age (teen)

SK-Age 19

DL-Age 17

blazebear2012-Age 14



Identity
Is the crisis
Can't you see
Identity identity
When you look in the mirror
Do you see yourself

Do you see yourself
On the t.v. screen
Do you see yourself
In the magazine

When you see yourself
Does it make you scream
When you look in the mirror
Do you smash it quick
Do you take the glass
And slash your wrists
Did you do it for fame
Did you do it in a fit
Did you do it before
You read about it

Poly Styrene wrote these lyrics at an age similar to the young women seen here. At a time when our (still) white male media was on the verge of dictating globally via pop culture, what women ARE based on what women look like according to the Male Gaze. Poly, as a multi ethnic young woman on the cusp of what we know now to be the ultimate backlash against feminism (pop culture) looked out at all the media screens available to her at the time and realized, she didnt exist. But unlike our Trans Trending females with little or no feminist role models within reach, Poly had many in the late 70's. Female icons and role model to lift her above the narrow IDEA of woman and challenge her to challenge us!

Identity
 
Dysphoria has about as much to do with GID/GI as hysteria had to do with penis envy However what penis envy and GID/GI have in common is identity and hysteria/dysphoria both desire/seek alternative routes to Identity! Specifically Male Identity! MORE specifically the privileges and infinite possibilities accessible to a male identity! One of those most notable privileges is also a basic human need and human right, to feel at home in one's own body. 
 
Something that has perhaps never been a right, a possibility and most certainly not a privilege EVER afforded to females. It is through witnessing this most base form of male privilege through a disadvantaged female lens that set the stage for the future performances like hysteria/dysphoria, where the leading roles have ALWAYS been played by females!

Poly Styrene sang in her song Identity, of Identity Crisis, identity crisis taking hold of female youths who could not squeeze themselves into Male media's thin pretty perfect plastic image. Poly would retort in another song Oh Bondage, UP YOURS! A big FUCK YOU to the thin pretty perfect plastic IMPOSSIBLE idea! 

Before feminism, females struggled to climb the rough, jagged mountain in their path for humanness, some falling to their deaths in the process. After feminism, our female youths are somewhere between walking away from the mountain in pouty defeat or leaping from it to their premature deaths, both in pursuit of an invalid identity. I'm sure were Poly alive today, her first question to them would be, "did you do it before you read about it?"

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Help Me-The Otherside of Normal

"Hot weather still. The children are running around bare. I had a letter from Daphne today, the first for a long time. What a strange world she must be living in! Her letter does not make sense...it frightens me, I can never see her getting better and living a normal life like myself. Poor Daphne. And she sends back the letter I wrote her, and has written the words Help help help at the end of my letter. As if I had to be rescued from a terrible doom. Poor Daphne. Naturally she means herself when she cries help help help." from the novel Owls do Cry by Janet Frame.

To frame this with a bit more context, the woman writing this journal entry is Chicks (a childhood nickname) and she is writing about her sister Daphne who is in a mental asylum. Chicks aspires to normality, and an escape from a background to which she was deeply ashamed. Ashamed of growing up poor, ashamed of having an epileptic brother, ashamed of her class, ashamed of having a sister in a mental institution, ashamed of her clothes, ashamed of her father's railway job-ashamed ashamed ashamed!

Chicks marries a well to do man and they live in the suburbs where she and her husband now rub elbows with doctors, lawyers and other professionals and their well to do wives. Suburbs consisting of well manicured lawns, BBQs, cocktail parties, playing children with clean clothes, PTA meetings, dinner on the dinner table etc, in other words normal. Men, women and children all functioning in roles long since outlined for middle class luxury or is it prison?

Daphne on the other hand sees clear through society's poser pretenses/masquerade, that is the IDEA that normal exists. A vision that has often got men and particularly women committed to mental asylums at worst and the outskirts of society at the very least.

Chicks writes to Daphne of her wonderful normal life, about the cocktails with her doctor neighbor and his pretty wife. About her children's good grades, about her husband providing her with all the modern convinces. All the things Chicks had dreamed about, stressed over and bent over in every conceivable and inconceivable position to obtained in the final hope of an achieved normality/happiness.

It the letter quoted above, Daphne returns the letter to Chicks with the word Help repeatedly written on it. Daphne's clear vision sees that Chicks desired, dreamed about and sought after normal is not only a trap, it is a death trap. A necrosis that makes the lunatic asylum preferable, where Daphne can exist and even grow without society's requisite pressures to consume, obey and above all else, conform aka be normal.

When Daphne looked at Chicks what she saw was not unlike what we saw watching the Exorcist, when Reagan uses her own body as a cry for help.

This is the EXACT cry of HELP that screams from the bodies of trans female after trans female:

HELP ME

HELP ME

HELP ME

HELP ME

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Penetration and Dysphoria

Has/does penetrative (vaginal) sex or the idea thereof triggered a fight or flight response, anger, out of body feeling, uncomfortable or in a nutshell, dysphoric?

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Trans Identities-No Matter How you SLICE it, There's a MAN

Mtf-ftM-transMAN-transwoMAN are the the most common terms used to identify or describe a male or female person who psuedo-medically/legally changes sex.

Due to the historical power patriarchy has long wielded in its (often violent) authoritative fist, women, children and men all too readily accept whatever springs forth from men's mouths, pens or whatever communicative instrument they choose. It makes little or no difference whether that info is coming from a MAN professing to be a woMAN or a woMAN professing to be a MAN. So long as there is a MAN looming somewhere in the background or foreground the words spoken might as well have come from god's own pie hole!

If your 3 or 4 year old son says he's a girl or your 2 year old daughter claims she's really a boy, well then by golly there MUST be some truth to the matter! After all Males ARE the authority on EVERYTHING! It is this Male privileged authority that trans Males will never give up and trans feMales strive to possess. It is this age old authoritative Male sexed privilege that creates such anger and even violence in trans Males/feMales whenever confronted with someone ESPECIALLY a mere lowly woman. How dare a despicable lowly worthless creature such as woman question an all powerful MAN! It is this place that all abuses toward females come, including those abuses that lead some females to seek relief/shelter by trying to be MEN.

Unfortunately what springs from women isnt taken at such face value, in fact it isnt valued or necessarily even believed at all. It makes little matter what women say, from sexual abuses as a child to full blown rape, patriarchy dictates if coming from a female DO NOT TRUST OR BELIEVE ANYTHING UTTERED BY THEM! We've all seen here from woman who fled them toward Male authority, a woman writes of learning to love who she is, learning to feel good and be proud of her womanliness, regardless of how she carries it. What is the overwhelming constant response? LIAR or the more interesting TRANS IN DENIAL! Because of course female being the most hated, despicable and powerless state of being surely cannot be a state women find or make a real home in.

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A Feminist Guide to all things Trans


  • No one is born transgendered.
  • Transition is a medical invention of the 20th century created to "cure" homosexuality
  • Transgenderism can ONLY occur via medical intervention.
  • Hormones used for transition can and do change personality AND sexual attraction. 
  • ALL transition surgeries are UNNECESSARY.
  • ALL transition surgeries are barbaric, permanently mutilating once healthy body parts.
  • Havelock Ellis, Magnus Hirschfeld  and Richard von Krafft-Ebing first linked homosexuality with inversion, in the early 20th century.
  • Inverts were males and females who were perceived as being inverted, such as female inverts having a "masculine soul, heaving in the female bosom". In other words those who didnt subscribe to the Gender Straight Jacket.
  • It was during this time (1931) that Lili Elbe received and died from the first sex reassignment surgery. Elbe was most likely intersexed, as medical evidence at the time indicated. 
  • Harry Benjamin who was a friend of and highly influenced by Magnus Hirshfeld, was heavily interested in gay male drag shows where according to HB, "many of the customers appeared in the clothing of the other sex".
  • Harry Benjamin is the father of transsexualism/transgenderism.
  • Viewing psychiatry through a Gender Straight Jacketed lens, Benjamin ignorantly assumed transvestites and gay men to be one and the same. 
  • HB believed gay men to all be effeminate.
  •  Most of Benjamin's patients were female fetishizers he mistook for homosexuals.
  • Within the first decade of SRS, female fetishizers created an underground snail mail communication system whereby female fetishizers knew beforehand what to say to HB and later SRS doctors that would enable them to be approved for SRS.
  • The main criteria for early SRS (and today still) is homosexuality or behaviour considered to be homosexual.
  • The majority of transitions remain straight white males who have a twisted cock response to clothing labeled "girls" or "womens". Males known as Autogynephiles or as I call them, Female Fetishizers. Males who fetishize the patriarchal Male Gaze constructed IDEA "woman/femininity".
  • Female Fetishizers carry out transvestism to the Nth degree in search for greater and greater sexual highs.
  • The medical community didnt invest in sex changes until the Kinsey Reports of (1948) and (1953) which concluded at least 10% of the population was homosexual and 37% of males had had a homosexual experience.
  • In the early seventies pro consensual pedophilia doctor John Money (notorious for experimenting on the intersexed) coined the term Gender Identity/Gender Roles.  
  • Gender Identity/Gender Roles are socially constructed via patriarchy, NOT organically created in the womb.
  • Just as homosexuality was removed from the DSM in 1973, Gender Identity Disorder was slipped in.
  • The Trans Politic was created by straight white males-female fetishizers-using politics to further their pornographic urgers, not so dissimilar to NAMBLA's political pedophilia via the Gay and Lesbian platform. 
  • Transition DOES NOT and CANNOT EVER change a person's sex.
  • Transition is purely a cosmetic and legal "sex change".
  • Gay males who transition do so out of internalized homophobia, usually within a hyper masculine minority culture amid the larger white culture.
  • Since gay white male popularity and large media visibility, gay white male transitions have drastically decreased to near nonexistence. 
  • In quantity, lesbian transition was largely unheard of until the backlash against feminism rode its Trojan horse-Queer Theory-into academia and then the Lesbian community.
  • A huge phase of feminist backlash is hyper-femininity.
  •  Not until hyper-femininity began reaching new undreamed of heights did dykes begin transitioning in numbers. 
  • As hyper femininity began being hammered upon younger and younger women/girls, Trans Trending among lesbian youth took off.
  • Transitioning children has been rare due to the lack of legal medical grounds to do so.
  • Since the recent publication of the DSM5 which includes transitioning children, the trans kid phenomena has skyrocketed. 
  • Trans kids are considered children who do not sport the Gender Straight Jacket.
  • Trans kids if left alone will grow up in most cases to be healthy gay and lesbian adults.
  • Homophobic parents are transitioning their children rather than have a gay son or lesbian daughter.
  • Transitioning children IS an overt attempt to eradicate gays and lesbians in their youth.
  • Hormone blockers used to "treat" GI-gender in-congruence in children are dangerous and life threatening.
  • Transition is the ONLY treatment for modern MENTAL illness that barbarically removes or rearranges healthy body parts for its cure.
  • The GID/GI diagnoses requires the patient be suffering from dysphoria (severe uncomfortableness with the body or how the body is viewed by society).
  • Female fetishizers who make up most transitions NEVER suffer from dysphoria.
  • ALL females suffer from varying degrees of dysphoria.
  • Yet lesbians remain the prime females receiving transition as a cure for their dysphoria.
  • Children do not suffer from dysphoria, yet those suspected of being gay or lesbian are being labeled trans and transitioned.
  • Transition has NEVER cured anyone of their dysphoria.
  • Dysphoria relief from transition is temporary.
  • Dysphoria increases over time post transition.
  • Outside of transition, no therapy has been used to ease dysphoria or attempt to cure it.
  • Transition drugs have no serious long term studies and have caused cancer and other complications in trans persons.
  • Once the trans person passes as the opposite sex, there is a perpetual mental fear and stress of being found out.
  • All the troubles that lead the trans person to transition do not magically go away post transition, in fact many more new troubles arise.
  • Cis is an organic chemistry term trans persons use misogynistically to attack primarily feminist and separate themselves from non transitioners.
  • Because the trans identity is self created, i.e weak, trans persons cannot fathom critical analysis of any kind.
  • No one labeling themselves trans is a feminist.
  • The foundation for transition is misogyny, and misogyny is the foundation for homophobia.
  • Transphobia does not exist.
  • Trans persons attacked or murdered are done so because of homophobia and the foundation of homophobia-misogyny. 
  • Transition flourished because female fetishizers for decades have used the gay and lesbian political platform to advance their fetishes and inline with the leaders of the straight white homophobic medical community, hampered and out right destroyed gay and lesbian advancement and lives.
  • Transition never ends, high dosing of hormones must continue the life of the trans person.
To feminist reading this, if there is something you feel needs to be added, email or comment me.

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True Transsexuals?

I am interested in interviewing True Transsexuals. If you transitioned solely because of severe dysphoria, meaning you werent uncomfortable BEING female, you didnt hate being female, but you were uncomfortable LOOKING female. Therefore you transitioned to look in a way that you believed would be comfortable for you. So the only changes you made were to ease your dysphoria. You still use your birth name, you still identify as female, you still use female pronouns etc. In short, your transition was about your body, not social transitioning.

Please email me at thedirtfromdirt@yahoo.com.

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Trans Kids-Lupron/Lucrin and the DEADLY Effects of Hormone Blockers

Australia’s LGBTI Health Alliance welcomes the recent Family Court decision to allow a 13 year old transgender boy to receive Lucrin, a medication that suppresses the hormones responsible for physical changes during puberty. In other words, hormone blockers. In the Re: Lucy (Gender Dysphoria) [2013] FamCA 518 decision, the Family Court ruled that Court authorisation will no longer be required when trans young people request hormone-blocking medication.

The above is sited from this article which either ignorantly or deceptively claims that "The hormone-blocking effects of Lucrin are fully reversible". and "Studies show that Lucrin can be safely administered to young people for several years prior to full pubertal onset".

Before going further, so there is no confusion, Lupron is the US drug that has been conveniently renamed Lucrin in Australia.

Some possible side effects of Lupron:

Call your doctor at once if you have:

  • bone pain, loss of movement in any part of your body;
  • swelling, rapid weight gain;
  • pain, burning, stinging, bruising, or redness where the medication was injected;
  • feeling like you might pass out;
  • sudden chest pain or discomfort, wheezing, dry cough or hack;
  • painful or difficult urination;
  • urinating more often than usual;
  • high blood sugar (increased thirst, increased urination, hunger, dry mouth, fruity breath odor, drowsiness, dry skin, blurred vision, weight loss);
  • sudden numbness or weakness (especially on one side of the body), problems with speech or balance;
  • sudden headache with vision problems, vomiting, confusion, slow heart rate, weak pulse, fainting, or slow breathing; or
  • chest pain spreading to the arm or shoulder, nausea, sweating, general ill feeling.
Rare but serious side effects may include:

  • pain or unusual sensations in your back;
  • numbness, weakness, or tingly feeling in your legs or feet;
  • muscle weakness or loss of use;
  • loss of bowel or bladder control; or
  • nausea, upper stomach pain, itching, loss of appetite, dark urine, clay-colored stools, jaundice (yellowing of the skin or eyes).
Common side effects may include:

  • acne, increased growth of facial hair;
  • breakthrough bleeding in a female child during the first 2 months of leuprolide treatment;
  • dizziness, weakness, tired feeling;
  • hot flashes, night sweats, chills, clammy skin;
  • nausea, diarrhea, constipation, stomach pain;
  • skin redness, itching, or scaling;
  • joint or muscle pain;
  • vaginal itching or discharge;
  • breast swelling or tenderness;
  • testicle pain;
  • impotence, loss of interest in sex;
  • depression, sleep problems (insomnia), memory problems; or
  • redness, burning, stinging, or pain where the shot was given.
This is not a complete list of side effects and others may occur. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects.

More on the life altering and life threatening dangers of Lupron/Lucrin and its fabricated research:


 And a bit from those suffering from the nightmare effects of this detrimental drug:


There is a current petition in US congress to get this dangerous drug removed from the market. There are pages and pages and pages of more detrimental testimonials from (mostly women and mother's of daughters) suffering the short and long term side effects from Lupron/Lucrin.

I suspect the homophobic trans kid angle is a last ditch effort by the maker's of Lupron/Lucrin to make more money from a drug whose end is near. But history tells us the wheels of justice are turtle slow, how many trans gay/lesbian children will have their lives permanently damaged or ended from this drug due to homophobic parents sweating over their kid playing with the wrong toy and an equally homophobic medical community ready, willing and able to make a buck off those fears?

But given transitional drugs with no long term studies and dangerous life threatening effects of their own coupled with brutal life damaging surgeries that coincide with transition, should we even be surprised at the loaded Lupron/Lucrin gun being aimed and fired at gay and lesbian children or children thought to be gay or lesbian, much in the way transition itself has?

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Trans Trending-Who is Transitioning


Logan-Age 14

CrisMartire-Age 19


 mcnzbeats-Age (young teen)


 
 Tony-Age 16


John-Age 18

BecomingNicholas-Age (young teen)

moudesu-Age 23

SoCallMeJD-Age 23

Ben-Age 18

Written by tommy shaw
Lead vocals by tommy shaw

You see the world through your cynical eyes
You're a troubled young man i can tell
You've got it all in the palm of your hand
But your hand's wet with sweat and your head needs a rest

And you're fooling yourself if you don't believe it
You're kidding yourself if you don't believe it
How can you be such an angry young man
When your future looks quite bright to me
How can there be such a sinister plan
That could hide such a lamb, such a caring young man

You're fooling yourself if you don't believe it
You're kidding yourself if you don't believe it
Get up, get back on your feet
You're the one they can't beat and you know it
Come on, let's see what you've got
Just take your best shot and don't blow it

You're fooling yourself if you don't believe it
You're killing yourself if you don't believe it
Get up, get back on your feet
You're the one they can't beat and you know it
Come on, let's see what you've got
Just take your best shot and don't blow it


You're fooling yourself if you don't believe it

dirt

Transgenderism and Borderline Personality Disorder

A regular reader wrote to me asking if I thought there was any correlation between Transgender Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder, she feels many of the symptoms of BPD match many diagnosed with TD. Here is a link of BPD past and present per the DSM 4/5.

 My answer is this, psychiatric disorders are quite like astrological signs. Most people can see something of themselves in many disorders (and at different moments in their lives) just as they can many different astrological signs regardless of their birth date. And where females are concerned, given the past horrors applied to females by the Male Medical Machine based solely on female in the contexts of patriarchy by patriarchy, ANY diagnosis by the medical community should be immediately suspect! And I am speaking strictly psychoanalytically, NOT organically! Since Psychiatry was first created by the Male Medical Machine, females of all ages have largely been the grist for its misogynistic mill!

This reader mainly thought there was a correlation because of she perceived narcissism to be occupying both disorders. I suspect the narcissism often found in trans patients has more to do with their believed discovery of their "true self"and the trans highs that temporarily follows changes from transition; sexed language, legal and medical.

I remember when Ellen Degeneres's character Ellen came out on her show. I heard first hand from SO many straight people complaining how the show was no longer funny cuz it was all about "her being gay" now. This is what happens when gays and lesbians come out, at first it IS all about being gay or lesbian! There is a gay/lesbian high from all the firsts and seconds and even thirds! The first time you go to a gay/lesbian bar, the first gay/lesbian person that talks to you, the first gay/lesbian friend, the first gay/lesbian Tshirt or coffee mug you buy, the first rainbow coloured something or other you own, the first gay/lesbian date, the first gay/lesbian sexual experience, the first gay/lesbian relationship etc etc etc!!! I wouldnt call these experiences narcissistic, they are part and parcel of being gay/lesbian within hetero-patriarchy. They establish a firm separation of hetero-patriarchy by celebrating the uniqueness of gays/lesbians via gay/lesbian experiences.

While coming out as gay or lesbian isnt dependent on the medical community or legal changes, the highs/excitement that come from changes that happen to gays/lesbians when we come out, I dont think are so different from the trans highs/excitements felt by those who believe the discovery of their "true self" and the emergence of that "true self" via drugs/surgeries (temporarily).

That said, I wouldnt label how gays/lesbians act when we come out as BPD and dont believe we can label the TD as such either.

Side note: I am not saying that there arent Trans people who do have BPD, but so do some gays, lesbians, jews, blacks, white, rich, poor etc etc etc.

Second side note: When I say trans or trans disorder I am NOT including female fetishizers.

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FTM's and Yeast Infections

I get no less than a dozen plus google searches hitting this blog  a day, seeking information about trans females and vaginal yeast infections, post testosterone use. Since many seemed to dislike the advice I gave in a related past post: To the trans females out there who have successfully dealt with vaginal yeast infections and the strong scent change in their vagina's from injecting testosterone, what is your advice to other trans females on dealing with these difficult and embarrassing issues??

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Dirtycunts and Transmen


Referring URL:
(No referring link)
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IP Address: 24.151.97.147 — [Label IP Address] Operating System: Win7
Location: Woodbury, Connecticut, United States Resolution: 1366x768
Returning Visits: 2 Javascript: Enabled
Visit Length: Multiple visits spread over more than one day ISP: Charter Communications

I'll assume these comments are meant to be some sort of Twitteresque hashtags, that said the female hatred seething with each and every one is scarily astounding! While there seems to be some differences with each, the constant in all is "dirtycunt". Given nothing happens in a vacuum, I suspect either this trans female was sexually abused (as a girl?) or she loathes her pussy to such a pathological extent she cannot stop herself from externalizing her internalized misogyny toward other women.


While I am not excusing her odious behaviour, it is important we as feminist discuss/understand where that level of female self/hatred springs from and why. Under patriarchy's dark skies, we as women are ALL subject to internalizing patriarchy's deep dark hatred of everything and anything female, we are also capable of turning that self hated on other women. But by calling attention to it, we can learn to see it in ourselves and STOP hurting ourselves and other women with a masculine hatred that isnt ours.

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Why I HAVEN'T Transitioned by Cassandra

Hey.. My name is ----- I am a 24 year old female. I am really glad I found your site. I was beginning to think that I was the only one who thought this way. That the desire to transition was not a case of wrong body, but wrong society. Especially with my age and social group, were I to voice such an opinion, I would be labeled "intolerant" or "ignorant".

About myself, I have always gone against the typical female archetype grain. Well, not always.. As a kid and young teen, I did not think of such things, of how I should present myself, if I was socially acceptable or whatnot. My insides matched my outsides, it was as simple as that. I liked sharks, soccer, and dragonball z, and I also liked myself. But as high school came around, I felt pressured by my peers and my mother, to "fit in". I felt like if I didn't wear make-up or "girl clothes", then I was ugly, invalidated as a person. It was then that I began to realize that I was also attracted to women.

At my school and at home, there was no dialog about homosexuality, and if there were it was always in a negative way. I began to internalize these feelings of self-hatred, I felt I was unacceptable, and I didn't want to try and fit in, but was not bold enough to completely go against the grain either. I began to cut myself. I started listening to metal, and other dark, heavy music, in which I identified my own anger and hatred. I wore black, I started talking back at home and at school. I was taken out of school and sent to boarding school, which I was in turn expelled from for getting caught self-mutilating. I was then sent to continuation school with other social rejects.

At that point I was 15 and started experimenting with drugs and alcohol. I did not allow myself to act on my feelings for other women, and instead, at times, got intoxicated and let men do what they wanted with me because that is what I thought I was supposed to do. My acts of self-mutilation increased, as did my drug usage.

Fast forward to age 22. I have run my life into the ground. I am without money, a job, purpose, and am thoroughly addicted to heroin. By this point I have had several twisted relationships with "straight girls" who claim that they would be with me, if only I were a man. I feel wrong in my life, and in my body. I had been contemplating transitioning for months by that point. I knew that something was wrong with me. And transgenderism seemed to explain the void in me, and in my life perfectly. However, being a ravenous drug addict, I was without resources at that point. I ended up going to rehab for 9 months. I got sober and gained hope for a brighter future. I have been sober ever since, and much happier and comfortable with myself. I cut my hair short, wear only mens clothes now, and I feel at home in my own skin.

Last year, a fellow lesbian in my sober social circle, came out as transgender. She garnered much attention and support from the community, even receiving enough money from the folk cd she made, singing about being transgender, in order to fund her top surgery. I had finally become content with myself, and now I see my innermost fantasy played out right in front of my eyes, with seemingly no negative consequence! I began to resent this individual, and I contemplated why. Was I jealous? I felt that I wanted to transition but I couldnt because my family wouldnt accept it, because it would be difficult to find a job, because I am not as charming as she is, to garner such loving support. But lately I have felt like there is more to it.

I feel like I am this gender rebel, almost. I finally have enough inner peace to not care about what others think about me, I can dress however I want, be interpreted as male, or as a mystery, and I dont care. And then this girl comes along, and kind of... invalidates me. What she did, feels like she took away some of the power I felt I possesed. For her to say 'I am male, I am all things that go along with male; power, strength, being worthy of respect', subconsciously made me feel boxed into the antithesis, into weak, second-rate, femininity . I do not accept that role of second class human being, but that does not make me male! I can feel like I dont fit the norm, and that is perfectly okay. But just because I dont fit into one stereotype that means I must fit into another stereotype?

And this diatribe of bullshit is coming from the mouths of the "free thinking youth", the people who claim to be all accepting. They act as if they are all alternative, while they adhere to society's strict guidelines of defining who you are, and who they think you should be! And when I open my mouth to express this thought, I am wrote off and shunned. All the lesbians I know either identify with this trans-trend, or are are propagators of it. So then I am stuck with males who constantly make jokes about how I am a man, or how I am a women so I must... ect. I don't know. I feel like people are so concerned with being "accepted" that they are too afraid to go out into the world and brake down social barriers.

You are right, transgenderism is a trend, and it is growing at an alarming frequency, and mostly within the lesbian community.  It does stem from misogyny, I realize that now. Before, when I wanted to transition, I hated myself for being female. I felt trapped in being a woman, as if I could find freedom in being a man. When in reality, I was just brainwashed into hating women, and hating myself.

by Cassandra

Stone Butch Blues-Stone Butch Shame II

A reader recently sent me an email thanking me for my critique of Leslie Feinberg's Stone Butch Blues. A self serving justification for female/lesbian self hatred and misogyny. I am re-posting this much needed critique of a work that purposely or unpurposely made Butch and Trans ignorantly synonymous with one another to the detriment of Butch women everywhere still!

Besides Feinberg perpetuating female shame with her novel and promoting transition as a cure or relief to Butch Shame, I think it is a shame she waited till her health was in the toilet to realize T wasnt the answer, merely a death sentence in disguise.
  
The dirt from Dirt: Stone Butch Blues-Stone Butch Shame: Along with the male-centric, gender fluid, transgender, genderqueer, up is down, down is up, right is left, left is right blanket queer th...


Transwomen Want a Period Pill in Pursuit of Trans High

This was screen capped from a popular trans male news group, made up predominantly by older female fetishizers, many of which are Trans Politic members.

There was a discussion going on, on how and why doctors cannot create a pill to cause bleeding from the CLOSED gap or hole of post bottom surgery trans males. Given that millions will die this year of cancer or heart disease, it is alarming that scientists arent focusing solely on a period pill for men!

Sarcasm aside, one doesnt have to be a medical professional to see the disturbed pathology going on here. But this pathology isnt uncommon among post surgery trans males, in fact it is a direct result of it. It is another variation on chasing the trans high. Once visible changes begin to cease or cease altogether, the trans person must find new ways to get that trans high back. No matter how bizarre, insane, creepy or sexually deviant. And unlike trans females who are just looking for that next trans high, for trans males, there is ALWAYS some sort of sexual component to the trans high. That same sexual high they derived when they sniffed their mother's or sister's panties for the first time, or went that extra step and wore them.

What should be most noted is, it is precisely these trans males who are fighting legally to get themselves allowed into private women's public area's, such as shower rooms, locker rooms, bathrooms etc. And in some cases actually winning that legal right. The twisted pathology of female fetishizers arent being told to the public, the twisted pathology has been overwritten with the "born in the wrong body" script doctors use to justify transitioning healthy bodied people regardless of unhealthy minds.

And as Plath said so aptly "the vase reconstructed/houses the elusive rose"!!!

dirt

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