It's nice to wake up and see the guy in the mirror that I always thought I'd grow up to be. Aside from that, being trans sucks.
You know what I don't like, men say things to me that they never would have before. Things about women that are just so disgusting. Its amazing what comes out of some people's mouths
Usually, I wouldn't comment on a post that seems to be so obviously baiting me, but I don't really think there's any way you can spin what I like about it so: I know you'll scoff at this, but it's made me a better person. It forced me to seek deeper for people who were more accepting who, in turn, made me more accepting. Before that, I had some minimal internalized sexism, racism, heterosexism and religious prejudice as I believe, due to the way our society unfortunately works, most people do to some extent. Talking with them allowed me to destroy those prejudices and own up to my privileges.
I have an overall sense of calm, security, and well-being that I never had in the past. My moods have evened out a lot. I like my muscles. I like being hairier, including facial hair.
Finally finding peace with myself. I grew up in a conservative area and didn't even hear the word transexaual until I was in college. I always thought I was a butch woman. I identified as a lesbian for so many years. But something was always missing. I never felt like things were right. I've been living as the man I was meant to be for five years now. I've never been happier.
I think it's very interesting how T has changed the way I think. Not that I feel differently about things. It's more like the process in which I think is different but gets almost the same result. I think with more logic than emotion now compared to how I used to think. I used to have a problem before with making bad choices because my emotions would get the best of me. Also, there were lots of things about men that I thought were there because social construction. After I started taking hormones I learned that a lot of those things are caused by hormones. (little things like how men seem less emotional and tend to cry less, care more about sex, etc) After seeing all of the different aspects of how I have changed because of hormones, I am not the man hater I once was. That's nice. I also feel like I am at a slight advantage because I am trans. It is so interesting to know (hormonally, emotionally, and socially) what is it like to live as someone who is female as well as what it is like to live as someone that is male. This has given me a better understanding of all people and has made me more empathetic. It also makes you see exactly how much of life is controlled by being either male or female. It's quite a surprising experience.There's a huge list of what I don't like about it but that can be saved for another post.
I love the perspective it gives me. I love that it has forced me to really look at myself and work out who I am rather than being able to simply take a ready made identity off the shelf. I love that it has been an access point to peek under the surface of culture and the world. I love that I break up the social order, that I spin people's heads round and show them that the world isn't as simple as they thought and the boundaries and catagories that they live by are not as fixed as they thought. And I love having a big ginger beard.
so it seems it's pretty much the effects of drugs that transmen like.
Being a Straight woman for years and being with men it always felt wrong and it didnt quite fit living as a man and openly gay man just feels so right. So what i like about being trans is that i am finally free.
In a way, I can say that I neither like nor dislike being trans: it just *is*. Like being any other kind of human. But getting the opportunity to transition has given me alot of reflection about what it must feel like to be born male and treated as male. It's not all that awesome, and that's something that I never would have admitted as a female-bodied person. Being able to be physically masculine feels good and I feel that my body extends my soul's expression out into the world.
It is important to note that the "calming" effect female transitioners often speak of, is similar to the calming/settling effect post menopausal females describe. The effect is hormonally based, rather than based on a change in physical appearance. Testosterone sends females into a post menopausal state, regardless of having all female parts intact. dirt
Dirt: So that means pre-menopausal females are less calm and less settled because of the effects of the estrogen in their bodies? That's a little scary - it's like you're giving fodder the the folks who don't think women should be president because they go crazy from hormones.
Fluctuating hormones are a natural process in females post puberty/pre-menopause, has nothing to do with "crazy". When hormones level off post menopause that fluctuation ceases along with periods. dirt
I'll also add, males statistically think about sex every 6 seconds and experience an erection several hours out of every day, but because we live under patriarchy, those hormonal distractions go unmentioned, and where they are mentioned, they are valued. dirt
Dirt, I didn't assert that hormones make women "crazy." I said your comments about the calming and settling effects of menopause give fodder to those who WOULD argue that women's hormones make them crazy, or even less functional.Of course I don't actually believe that hormones make women crazy. Sheesh.
"It is important to note that the "calming" effect female transitioners often speak of, is similar to the calming/settling effect post menopausal females describe. The effect is hormonally based, rather than based on a change in physical appearance. "I certainly stopped feeling depressed and self hating after I started testosterone - something I attribute fully to the hormonal effects of the testosterone. I take it as a gel each morning, and before I have it I feel depressed and crappy, the change when I put it on is immediate. However, when I had my hormone levels checked out before starting on T I apparently had the oestrogen levels of a post-menapausal woman, so I'm not sure about your ideas around that.
To Anon. I had a similar experience. When I had my hormones checked prior to T my testosterone levels were close to that of an anatomical man and my estrogen levels were extremely low for a anatomical woman.
@David, you didnt have periods?dirt
It also should be noted that transitioning FTMs are not the only ones who mention the calming effect of hormones. MTF transitioners speak of a similar calming effect from estrogen.
Dirty your argument has no standing.there is no scientific evidence and what your talking about when it comes to the effects of testosterone or estrogen. Lol wow I mean your at a computer right??? You could just Google it lol. Also whats with your extreme agenda towards transmen. What are you really doing to empower you women or even women of color who are at the bottom of the totem pole.your not actually contributeing anything to the feminist movement. Your just pushing your own agenda and hatred but not actually changing anything in the world.Your no better then a misogynist your predjudice.
Like Dan, I worry that this is a trick question but also like Dan I don't see how the following can be turned into a negative thing. When I was living as a female, I constantly cut my wrists and even tried to kill myself. Since my transition I am much more stable and haven't cut or abused substances like I used to, I'm happy and don't have to turn to unhealthy vices anymore. I would also like to say that I am 17 and I have gone through all of this before I've even become an adult. It's not a trend, not for me. It's life.
@Dirt- I had one to two periods a year from age 11 to 14. My doctor said that this was normal and that eventually they'd straighten out. I'd like to point out that my father's work insurance did not give us access to the best medical care and we were not able to seek other care. My periods never did straighten out though and by 17 they had stopped completely.
So, at best, transsexualism is a mental and/or physical illness that requires medicine to correct. And this is related to homosexuality how??
"So, at best, transsexualism is a mental and/or physical illness that requires medicine to correct."I would say that this is only true in our materialist culture where people will only be accepted as the gender they are if the're lucky enough to look like it. There are many cultures in which trans people are/were accepted as their chosen gender without ever having hormones or surgery."And this is related to homosexuality how??"Because hatred of gay people and hatred of trans people comes from the same place, from people being scared of the disruption of the gender dichotimy that they are so invested in. This is the root of both homophobia and transphobia, and it's what needs to be tackled.
I really do love it when people call me by my preferred name and pronouns, it makes me really happy. Otherwise, I guess it's fairly boring being a trans man. I don't really know anything other than this, same as I don't really know how it would feel to be neurotypical. I'm less miserable now that I've told people about being trans and stuff, so that's good. Otherwise, not much has changed. I am not taking testosterone, so I don't know how that would feel. I also like the way it feels when I pack, it kinda "clicks", it feels that "this is the right thing for me" somehow. I'm glad that I've found my "path" in life, and I'm glad that you, Dirt, have found your "path" as a butch woman.
@David, I dated a few Femmes and was in a long term relationship with another Femme who had the same issue. All had very high T levels and similar issues with their periods.dirt
"@David, I dated a few Femmes and was in a long term relationship with another Femme who had the same issue. All had very high T levels and similar issues with their periods."What's the relevance of that? All we're pointing out is that your simplistic idea that taking T will automatically make people feel calmer because it induces menapause doesn't stand up to our experiance.
T doesnt make every woman who takes it feel calmer, many report feeling angry and some even violent. I've personally known two women who stopped T because of feeling angry all the time. dirt
"I would say that this is only true in our materialist culture where people will only be accepted as the gender they are if the're lucky enough to look like it. There are many cultures in which trans people are/were accepted as their chosen gender without ever having hormones or surgery."So, it really is a method of societal conformity?Can you provide a list of these 'many cultures?'And is gender really 'chosen?'
"T doesnt make every woman who takes it feel calmer, many report feeling angry and some even violent. I've personally known two women who stopped T because of feeling angry all the time. "Well, you're the one who brought "the "calming" effect female transitioners often speak of" and gave reasons for it. So you're being inconsistant now?
"So, it really is a method of societal conformity?Can you provide a list of these 'many cultures?'And is gender really 'chosen?'"I don't know enough about the cultures to know if it's about social conformity - though I have seen various documentaries about two spirit native american folk (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-Spirit) which are very much about more than simply upholding the gender binary. There's also the Hijra of south asia and the Fa'afafine of samoan culture.
As for whether gender is "chosen", that's not really something I was talking about and I don't believe that it is - I believe that the way someone chooses to present their gender can be chosen, but I do believe that most people have an innate sense of gender, though I don't understand this or where it comes from.
I meant that you were implying that transpeople would rather not have to take hormones but must in order to fit in with our 'materialistic' society.To me it seems transsexualism is incredibly 'material' though.(Please don't consider my questioning 'bigotry.')
I never called your questioning "bigotry"...I'm sure that there are many many people throughout history who would have taken hormones and/or had surgery had it been available; fortunately though as I said there are many cultures where these people were able to be recognised as their true gender and therefore it didn't matter so much that the medical intervention wasn't possible. Unfortunately there were also cultures where these things wern't recognised which would have made things more difficult for them.As for my comment about "materialism", I mean this more about our culture's attitude that a person's gender is defined soley by what they look like and what they have between their legs, whereas other cultures have a much broader view on it.
Anon @ 12:11 - There hasn't been a need for "transitioning" until recently. The whole concept came out of Europe in the end of the 1800's - early 1900's as a way to "cure" homosexuality. Especially gay men wanted to be "normal" and that's what got the trans ball rolling.The original early stuff is all in German, and I don't know how much has been translated into English.I don't know of any historical mention of trans before that, where people clearly born as one biological sex had permanent surgical things done to themselves in attempts to pass as the opposite sex. So you can't blame people for questioning/looking critically at the modern trans boom.
Doctor Dirt did you ever think that maybe the reason YOURE so ANGERY is because you still bleed from your vagina like the little woman you are? Maybe if you went into menopause, i.e. tranistioning or having someone rip out your innards (i suggest this route for you to ENSURE you not reproduce in this life) so that maybe you can CALM down and be a little more HAPPY in life. You need some hormones or you some less. either way "Doctor Dirt" you need to CHANGE
"There hasn't been a need for "transitioning" until recently. The whole concept came out of Europe in the end of the 1800's - early 1900's as a way to "cure" homosexuality. Especially gay men wanted to be "normal" and that's what got the trans ball rolling."Wrong on multiple counts, bucko.The pioneering work done for transpeople in the 1800's was performed by, duhduhduhdaaaaaaa, gay men. Gay men who embraced and did not lie about their orientation either. (Europe back then was really quite different from what you have been led to believe.) To suggest that these same people who so publicly embraced their sexuality would devote huge amounts of their life to "curing" themselves by becoming women is intellectually dishonest.Furthermore, the first reported case of someone who approached a doctor for some sort of treatment (the doctor did not approach her) in western medicine was female-born.I will grant, however, that western medical assistance for transpeople is relatively new. I cannot speak for the history of cultures I do not know. (though I will point you to the hijras, who have a long history of impromptu "surgical" parties in an attempt to address their needs) But that is beside the point. Prior to when transpeople started appealing to the medical community for assistance, such a thought was likely considered complete nonsense and biologically impossible. There was scarce information on endocrinology or hormones back then."I don't know of any historical mention of trans before that, where people clearly born as one biological sex had permanent surgical things done to themselves in attempts to pass as the opposite sex."You have got to be kidding me.Well, for starters, obviously you are implying here that transsexualism is not real, since there was no case of medical treatments prior to, well, the invention of said medical treatments. If this sort of Back-to-the-Future nonlogic makes your head asplode, I hear ya.Following this painful reasoning, AIDS is not real, because there were no cases of anti-retro-virals being used to treat AIDS prior to, well, the invention of anti-retro-virals.Shocking, I know.
"I don't know of any historical mention of trans before that, where people clearly born as one biological sex had permanent surgical things done to themselves in attempts to pass as the opposite sex."Funny how time works, being all linear and stuff. Am I right?Using the lack of treatment prior to said treatment's development as evidence for the falseness of what is being treated is complete and utter nonsense. Might as well say AIDS doesn't exist because there were no known treatments of AIDS prior to the development anti-retro-virals.You know what was done with transpeople prior (and actually during and after) to the development of these techniques?Therapy. Lots and lots of de-transifying therapy, of all combinations and permutations. Funny how it never really worked out, and it only made these peoples' lives worse and more painful to bear. Not entirely unlike conversion/reorientation therapy for gay people, eh?
"I don't know of any historical mention of trans before that, where people clearly born as one biological sex had permanent surgical things done to themselves in attempts to pass as the opposite sex."Well, if you're only counting people who actually physically change themselves as opposed to just socially transitioning, there were groups of unichs who lived as women in various parts of the world (I don't have the details right here but I could look them up)."You know what was done with transpeople prior (and actually during and after) to the development of these techniques?Therapy. Lots and lots of de-transifying therapy, of all combinations and permutations. "Or alternatively they were simply allowed to live as their aquired gender and treated as such by the rest of the community. Or sometimes they became priests/shamans.
To Anon @2:03 - I can see you have never read any of the original material, or you would know what was meant by "gay men wanting to be normal." Some of the gay men wanted to be heterosexual, and doctors (non-gay) were offering them the "cure" by doing very experimental procedures on their genitalia, of which none worked. That was the beginning of western medicines biological research/experimentation into the whole "sex change" concept. Then there are a few other sad cases like Lili Dresden I've heard of.I know it's a very sensitive issue for some people, but there's no denying the medical historical record.
Sorry, I meant Lili Elbe, not Lili Dresden.
EVERYTHING i love being me. i love being a man.
The worst part of "Transitioning" for me is the pain. I have so much pain! Pain in my back from my wallet being so much fatter. I have whiplash from driving so fast. Now that Im a man I don't hit a single red light. Just part of the "male privilege" I suppose. I AM FILLED WITH REGRET that I did not consider how many woman would want me despite my enlarged ultra sensitive and gorgeous genitals. sucks to be me
Right now , I just LOVE being a transman cus it pisses you off ! hahaha
I don't love being a transman.Of course, I wish I could have born with the body I was supposed to have - now I'll have scars because of multiple surgeries...Of course I wish my body would make testosterone nd I wouldn't have to inject it myself...But that's all what was NEEDED. I was born with a male brain with wrong type of body. It wasn't just the body I hated... It was how people treated me without the transition. They called me miss and seemed to think I was weak... I had to fix that issue, because I needed to be treated as myself.But still, I love being me. I love being the man I was supposed to be.
" It was how people treated me without the transition. They called me miss and seemed to think I was weak... I had to fix that issue, because I needed to be treated as myself."So your case is about being respected - Something all women should be - But instead of fighting for it you chose to go the easy way and pass as a man. Yes, it's the easy way because women are never respected if they are proud of their femaleness, but if you run from femaleness and try to be a sterotypical boy you'll be respected more.I know because once I identified as FTM. Luckily I got better and now I fully identify as a proud woman. A young, butch woman, that can "pass" as a man, but I'll never throw away the fact I'm a woman and I need to fight for equality. :) I'm happier now that I accept myself.
"I was born with a male brain with wrong type of body. "Same ole 'male brain' fairytale.When I was younger, loads of people kept telling me I had a 'male brain' because I could do boys subjects like physics and maths, because I liked playing soccer and cricket and climbing trees and wanted my dad to teach me carpentry..........Thankfully I saw through all their non-answers to my questions as to WHY I couldn't be a girl AND still like doing all those things. Plus I got over not liking my breasts (they get in the way when bowling in cricket!), although periods are still a pain, not to mention my PMT!But I'm sure that if I'd been growing up now, I'd have been at a high probability of getting on the trans bandwagon...............
Interesting that I've not seen much on cis women transitioning except here. Given the increasing visibility of transitioning, it was inevitable that gender exploration by many different kinds of people was going to occur. For myself, I found it easier to transition hormonally ftm, but not socially. As a sextegenarian (in my 60s), I was post menopausal and expected to lose my estrogen anyway. Few would notice and those who do would hopefully chalk it up to changes with age, such as loss of subcutaneous fat. Meanwhile, I can live relatively freely from the ravages of fibromyalgia, weakness, injury, lack of sleep, and bone and muscle loss. Add to this, the boost in both libido and zest for life, and it's the best retirement I can dream of. No radical changes to one's life and loved ones are necessary. It's all upside at my age. My clothes fit better and my diabetes has returned to the pre-diabetic stage of decades ago. My weight, blood pressure, CBC and lipid bloodwork is finally normal after a lifetime of bad numbers. Granted, I had very masculine attributes to begin with that made this "transition" easier, but nothing has made this easier than today's political climate. If I didnt love this, I wouldn't continue.