Sent to me this morning:
i regret coming back to talk to you that day but i could tell by your
voice that you had something important that you needed to say. i regret
saying "spit it out" when you hesitated. i regret that the second you
told me you felt that you're transgender i wanted to put the words back
into your mouth and out of my head. i regret that i cannot wrap my mind
around what all of this means. my sweet perfect baby girl, i regret
that i am yet again failing you because i dont know how to support you
through what i know is a difficult time for you. i regret that, in a
dark corner of my mind, i think i would almost rather have you live a
lie than face this mountain that im not sure i am strong enough to
climb. ive examined every little detail of your life that i know of and i
regret that if there were signs along the way i missed them all. i
love you. i have loved you since before you were born and i will love
you as long as i live. i regret that im not handling this in any way
you wanted or expected me to but youve told me youve known for *years*
what i've only had *days* to process. when i look at you i see my
beautiful, funny, intelligent, quirky daughter. The baby i carried
inside of me. The baby that i knew was a girl from the time of
conception. try as i might, i cannot see the man you feel as though you
were meant to be. i cant bring myself to imagine what the world might
do to you. i regret that your dad doesnt understand why i cant shake
this off. he has a *plan* to seperate you from your friends with the
hopes that you may be just confused, curious or even following the
crowd. He continues to operate under the assumption that this will pass
and he hasnt even let himself wonder, as i do, what if it doesnt.im
glad you got in to therapy and im glad i have as well. i regret that
what you need most right now is my love and support but what i need
most right now is just the chance to grieve for the *you* that has
probably never existed outside of my own head. I have always told you
to be yourself and i still mean for you to do just that and i pray that
i have taught you well up to this point so that you can stand your
ground on your own with whatever you decide because im a little busy
fighting my own battle in my head. Please just know that i love you and
im doing the best i can.
Sounds like the father has the right idea and based on what the mother says regarding his "plan", I suspect some serious trans trending influences.
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