Friday Open Day

In lieu of some new beginnings, today (and today) is open comments day...

Have a wonderful Friday (and Saturday)!



  1. Love your blog, keep up the good work dirt.

  2. Dirt, thanks for writing more about ridding transmen from the lesbian community. Went to a "lesbian dance" put on by my campus's LGBT center and I'm not kidding, there were no less than 50% of transmen there. It's like they see the word "lesbian" and think we're there for their taking. Umm I don't think so! So frustrating. I'm a lesbian cuz I love women, not because I want a fake man. YUCK!

  3. Dirt! i'd love to see more videos from you. will you make any more? you have a sexy voice.

  4. I was happy to read the post by Master Amazon the other day where she says that she is involved with starting a female identified butch dyke group in the Bay Area. If I ever happen to travel there, I would sure want to check it out.

    You know, it kind of blows my mind that we even have to specify that lesbian=female or dyke=female. Seems so obvious. I guess I should have seen it coming a few years back. Here's an example: I remember a particular party that my partner and I attended where the younger dykes in their 20's and 30's were all doing the he-dude-bro thing with the male pronouns. I actually had to correct them that I do NOT go by "he". Plus a bunch of them were acting like male-identified jerks and Neanderthals and trying to include me in their "butch bonding". We left early as the whole scene was just plain offensive. Even though this was several years ago, I still recall this particular event with a feeling of sadness.

    I have often noticed that if you want to know what the latest trends are going to be in the community, look at what's going on in the SF Bay Area, as that's where the trends often start before spreading to the rest of the country. The Bay Area was where the FTM Fad really took off in the past decades. It's good to see that now there is a positive trend there with the female identified dyke groups. This is very encouraging to see.

  5. Fuck a lesbian dance! I'd rather eat glass.

  6. Anon @ 4:42

    go right ahead hun, no one is stopping you.

  7. I believe that I was supposed to have been born rich. I'm a rich person trapped in a middle class persons body!! I mean that's just the way I FEEEEEL!!! Therefore it must be true. I've always FELT rich and I've never identified with being middle class. So I save up and I get fancy designer things that I can't actually afford so that I LOOK rich out in public, even though I don't have anything to back it up. I just need to have the appearance of wealth in order to function as a living organsim. DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!

  8. WAAAH! WAAAH! I'm a whiny lesbian from some sister school in New England. I actually WAS born rich. I don't know any different. I have so much privilege that I have to dress like I don't have any money just to get street credibility. I feel jealous of people who have a greater claim to marginalization than I do, so I do whatever I can to make sure people know that I'm a super oppressed white LESBIAN! Men oppress me constantly. GOD, even though I look as manly as possible, this one time (8 years ago) a truck driver said something rude to me! Can you believe that? It's almost like I'm starving and dying of AIDS in Africa, and being sold into sexual slavery at the same TIME! In fact I can't lift a fuckin finger to get myself out of this terrible (white, privileged, U.S. citizen) situation. I have to focus all my attention on who's "fucked-up" because if I don't keep deflecting my attention, I'll be forced to take responsibility for my life.Will somebody do something about these transsexuals gaining power? Anybody? Anybody?

  9. Anon@5:52,

    You obviously didnt pay much attention in that NE school you went to, men do not "gain power", they already have it.


  10. Anon @ 5:52

    LMAO, you are ftm and yet you check this blog religiously. YOU came HERE.

  11. Why do so many post anonymous? To cut down on typing? Anon@ 4:42 is so creative with words. Anon@ 5:25, I too feel I should have been born rich. Think there's a support group for this? Dirt, another post like the Virginia Woolf post would be enjoyable.

  12. I've been reading this blog for a couple of months now because I actually saw some hateful vlogs on YouTube that made me want to check it out. I must say that the tone has changed slightly from where it was when I first started reading. The themes are the same but presented a little differently with more emphasis on building up the lesbian community.

    I am fascinated with the trans community and have been watching transition videos on YouTube since about early 2008 because of a couple of friends transitioning at the time. It's just an opinion here, obviously, but I really do feel like there's a trend, similar to breast augmentation surgery that assists with a persons ability to be happy with their body. Transitioning is actually worse though because hormone therapy is perceived as necessary for a lifetime.

    I recently saw CharlesAshers "Transgender Despair" and thought, holy crap that is sad. Then his "Transgender Joy" and thought, wow it sucks for the FtMs who can't afford hormones or top surgery because they can't share in that transgender joy. A lot of the transgender joy was dependent on the means to transition. The "first shot, chest surgery, clothes fitting the way you want them to fit, shirtless on the beach, the day after surgery, people finally accepting you in the way you want them to after surgery and hormones."

    It really is a terrible thing to hate yourself or to feel like you can't fit a particular mold, in this case the mold of the male body and to feel the need to chase after it for the rest of your life to be happy.

  13. There is no such thing as "transgender joy"

  14. I agree. There's just human joy. Trans or not.

  15. Dirt it's a bit sudden and random but it's important! Please please circulate this:

    JDR's site is the first search result when you type "transsexuality". I bet he has been really influential, especially on naive young people. Please spread the word on how he's a selfish little manchild and his site a bunch of crap!

  16. The point being, that with Asher's reach in the trans community, it appears there's a message that this happiness described, however you want to label it, might only be available to the ones who can afford it, placing it on a pedestal, like "there's no way I can be happy without that." With all the things described, this places the pre-T, pre-Op FtM in a really sad place, a place they don't have to be in.

    I just think the whole thing is pretty fucked up. I'm not FtM, I empathize with people who hurt though because someone else makes them feel less of this or that.

    I'm not gonna mention names but I've seen videos of a pre-T, pre-Op FtM who was made to feel just that within the trans community, less "manly" less this that whatever because she had not started T or had surgery.

  17. @ Anon 6:09
    "LMAO, you are ftm and yet you check this blog religiously. YOU came HERE."

    I can't speak for anyone else, but I come HERE to try to understand the thinking of people like you. I try really hard not to totally demonize you, but to really understand your thinking; I'm sure if I ever will though.

  18. There is far too much evidence out there from female transitioners, that once the "trans high" wears off, they wind right back to the pre-trans unhappy state. The message this sends is work on the inside where the problems lie, the outside will take care of itself when that happens.


  19. I've never encouraged anyone into taking T or having top surgery. I would never make someone feel less manly because they aren't on T or who have not had their top surgery. I haven't had mine yet but plan to hopefully in May or June.

  20. Thousands of lesbians and woman are being led to the slaughter like sheep and we're supposed to "mind our business"???

    Ever heard of a little thing called activism?? Look it up, please.

  21. How do you really deal with depression without taking all the meds? Id really love to get everything right on the inside without being drugged out or paying hundreds on talking to a random stranger

  22. Chris, art, philosophy, good human company and similar things help way more than some dangerous meds and a man you don't know asking you strange questions. Of course you can't go out of depression all at once, it takes its time but boy, I don't believe depression is chronic or has to be there at all. It's a scam fueled by psychs to make money!

    The most important thing of all maybe though is that ONLY YOU CAN KNOW AND FREE YOURSELF. Don't give up :3

  23. Um,body dysphoria is not just for transmen and straight women. I know tons of lesbians who hate their bodies, or the parts of their bodies that look female. Lesbians who starve themselves and work out constantly, neurotically. Lesbians who wear sports bras to look flat, but aren't wearing them for sports. Straight men who starve themselves. Gay men who talk constantly about bitch and moan about their bodies.... on and on. The fact is, this *culture* has a problem with self-love and ALL of these groups are gonna hafta find a way to love themselves. Some may place the premium on gender, while others place the premium on thin-ness. But nobody has a corner on the market of body acceptance as far as I can see. And you will never convince me that ftm's are any different in this regard. Most will gain a measure of satisfaction/relief from physical transition but the rest is up to the individual. As it is with all of us.

  24. "Thousands of lesbians and woman are being led to the slaughter like sheep and we're supposed to "mind our business"???"

    I dunno...if a victim falls in the forest but doesn't feel victimized, is it still a victim? If so, can you quantify exactly what has been lost to these "women and girls". And when you make your tally, please don't project from your own experience of being a woman. Make sure you only count things that you know for sure these individuals
    would have come to know and love about themselves at some point in the future. And you can't really know those things, can you?

  25. Would you say transition is similar to skin bleaching? Or the eyelid surgery many asian women get?

  26. @Anon @January 28, 2011 9:28 PM........I don't think transition is like either of those things.

  27. Anon at 8:51 made a good point. Do people obsessed with being thin ever STAY satisfied with themselves while they are currently thin -- or do they continue to obsess and live in fear of a few delicious calories?

    Most thin straight women my age absolutely drive me nuts the way they live in fear of literally an extra pound or two. They're frickin crazy, afraid their dood won't love them any more (they're right!). Very insecure women, even while thin...

    It just seems like in general the more someone is focused on ensuring their external presentation meets some kind of ridiculous criteria, the less focused they are on maintaining a stable core character.

  28. "I don't think transition is like either of those things."

    But they're "doing what they want with their body"....they "just want to be happy"...right?

  29. @Anon 9:36 PM...

    That's true! I believe that we should be able to do what we want to do with our bodies. I don't think anyone should stand in anyone's way if that is what is gonna make someone happy. If my fiancee wanted to get breast implants or whatever I would be fine with it as it is her body. She has talked about getting cosmetic surgery and that is fine with me as long as it makes her happy. I think she is fine the way she is but hey if it make her happy who am I to tell her no she can't do that?

  30. It would be interesting to see what the stance is of the advocates against transitioning in here feel about abortion.

    I believe in abortion.. However it is the snuffing out of a life.. and to boot the life being snuffed out isn't participating in the decision.

    I also wonder how many advocates in here against transitioning are for or against S&M and the leather community. The argument for it is it is ok as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual. One of the arguments against it is it is self harming behavior and demeaning towards women (in the case of the womans leather community).

    Then I would like to hear the argument as to how transitioning is any different then the above items.

  31. Anon@ 9:43PM - Well you may question her desire to change her superficial appearance using surgical implants shown to increase certain types of lymphoma, causing nerve damage, scarring, formation of keloids and cartilage, risk of leakage or puncture precipitating corrective surgery, and needing to have the surgery repeated every 5-10 years with replacement implants.

    You may question the relationship between a woman's surgically sexualized (or de-sexualized) body image and her experience of happiness.

    You may question the ethics of allocating financial resources to comply with culturally mandated beauty standards.

    I'm sure I could go on all day, but you get the picture. There are all sorts of reasons one might question a person's desire for surgically created double d enlarged breasts.

    Hope this helps.

  32. @Anon @10:20 PM

    I am pro-life. I don't believe in abortion as being a form of contraceptive. I can see if a woman or a child is raped but to do it because you were irresponsible then that is wrong.

    I was in the Leather/BDSM Lifestyle for about 6 years. I don't see that as wrong. I was abused by one of the butches that was my leather daddy but to say it's demeaning to women, I don't think so.

    ...Just saying...

  33. anon @ 10:20

    feminism is the answer to all those things you mentioned.

  34. Ha! For those who feel they should have been born rich, I encourage you to do whatever you can to make it so!
    It can happen!

  35. Also, I hear fake boobs kinda feel fake. I bet if I really loved the person, it wouldn't make a difference to me either way tho...

  36. Anon @ 8:51 amen!

    I think all women under patriarchy feel dysphoria to some degree.

  37. I'm really sorry, but there's a basic problem with the "hey it makes me happy" argument.

    For starters, it's a justification not a reason. But usually something like that is not a problem until the thing which makes Hitler happy ends up violating someone else's rights, which the trans issue attempts very quickly.

    Transgendered human beings already have all the rights normally associated with human beings. What they want instead, is the additional special snowflake right to force other people into treating them as the gender they "self-identify" as. This directly conflicts with my own right to my own opinion about other people's "identity".

    Who you say you are, is your own press release about yourself. I am not obligated to believe it, or act upon it. And we notice the hypocrisy very quickly as soon as the transfolk refuse to treat me as a goddess -- because hey that's my own identity.

  38. @Anon @12:01 AM

    A God or a Goddess would accept people as they are and love them no matter what so no you would not be treated as a goddess in my eyes.

  39. I agree with Anon @12:06 AM....

    A Goddess sees the beauty in everyone and no discriminate against those who are different. You a Goddess? Neh, I don't think you would qualify as a Goddess. A Goddess represents beauty in some form and to me honey well to discriminate, you could NEVER be a Goddess.

  40. I love me for who and what I am and so does my fiancee. I am not concerned in any way or form in how others think of me. I know that I am a good person, compassionate, loving, caring, humorous, smart, fun-loving, charismatic, open-minded, intelligent, and so many other things. It's not what's in your pants that makes you who you are.

  41. a God or Goddess would love the person one IS (His or Her creation) not the person one's pretending to be for bullshit society's sake

  42. Anonymous @ 12:06,

    God/Goddess would want their child (you! all of us!) to love and respect our selves & bodies. To love ourselves & others, to strive to grow. Not to mutilate our bodies, to reach some rigid patriarchal ideal.

    Goddess (the poster) clearly loves & respects transPEOPLE. so does Dirt. so do i &so do the commanders who agree with her.

    Where we disagree with one another lies in the treatment.

    FTMs demand bodily mutilation and need everyone to cater to their delusion. We who disagree want tosave our fellow women from barbaric surgery, from dangerous hormone use, from genital mutilation. We want to see dysphoria cured and lives saved!! Not plastic surgeons getting rich off of others' despair. For the sake of women with gender dysphoria. If you were bodily dysphoric and wanted to cut off your arm to feel whole, would our protests, our begging you to get treatment for the mental disorder & not hiring a doctor to remove your arm registered as hatred to you then?!

    I really hope we get through to some of you, I'm 22 and there are almost NO BUTCHES in my generation. I have met 2. I don't want to see all the gender nonconforming women of our generation & others to succumb to this self-hating bullshit! How on earth can you say I hate you?

    I know how it feels to be dysphoric all too well. Luckily I never felt it to such an extreme that I wanted to leave my femaleness behind, but as a woman, when you're even a little androgynous these days (my facial features tend towards androgyny, though I'm not masculine), you're regarded as ugly, or at least that used to be the worst they'd call you. To hear androgynous and butch and nonconformist women (lesbian or straight or bi) being called men - calling themselves men ! - ugh :(

  43. @10:20

    Curious that you bring up BDSM/SM.
    I believe there are some definite parallels between the two.

    I recall that in the '90's, at least in Toronto, there was a major wave of BDSM and SM visibility. All of a sudden, everyone and their dog was into it, and it mutated into the trendy in thing to be and do.

    Of course the same can be said for transitioning with a major difference, that being, that the effects of transitioning are permanent and not a matter of choice like BDSM.

  44. @Anon @12:18 AM..

    I completely disagree with you on that one.

    So, it's okay for women to get breast implants, botox, liposuction and crap and that's 100% fine but if a transman gents top surgery well damn that's wrong? Wrong in your eyes maybe because it's not something you would ever do. I don't get that it's okay for a female to have all this plastic surgery but a big no no for a transman to be on T and have top surgery or whatever else he needs to do.

    Alrighty then....What's good for the goose is good for the gander!

  45. I'm glad that person above brought up skin bleaching. I'm a black lesbian from the south, and I have known several black women who bleached their skin regularly (they weren't lesbians or trans or anything) They said they did it because they hoped it would help them "blend in more", "be accepted", "feel normal" etc etc

    if you think transition is not in the same category as this and other things like it, can you please explain why/how?

  46. Okay, it's okay for women to "mutilate" their breasts to get breast implants or breast reduction but not okay for FTM's to have breast reduction? Seems pretty one sided to me. It's okay for a woman to do all she wants with her body but not a transman? Unbelievable! You are hypocrites! If "mutilation" is done by someone who is OMG all female it's fine but let a FTM have a surgery and it's misogyny...You can't have it both ways but then again in your minds you can!

  47. NO I do not think it's OK to get breast implants. Are you intentionally missing the point?

  48. Why is it not okay to get breast implants or surgery to alter yourself? It is still your body, and you should do what the hell ever you want with it.

    To me, it's just like getting piercings or tattoos only a bit more extreme. Are you against that, too?
    It's body modification.

  49. I don't know why I'm bothering to check for replies to my comment.

    The reason I'm against breast implants is because they're implanted for the perceived reactions they'll get from men. No one gets them for themselves. And they're unnecessary and risky. Ditto to top surgery.

    No, I don't think people should be able to do "whatever they want" to their bodies. I would hope the medical world would intervene if a girl wanted to become 70 pounds. I would want doctors to treat dysphoria rather than say "whatever, it's your arm, I'll chop it off if it's what you really want deep inside"

    Because I don't want people to suffer.. As with the anorexia example, no matter how thin she gets she'll never be "thin enough", even though she's skin & bones. Transpeople are suffering dysphoria, and instead of challenging gender roles and embracing their sex while looking & being however they want to be, they even willingly brutalize their bodies to squeeze into a mold that was never intended to fit any breathing human being

    It's a far cry from an ear piercing

    Please, FTMs. forget about the implants & the piercing and answer this??

  50. ya girl......xoxo love femme and butch mystique

  51. To the man trying to equate abortion with transition in order to create a "look here not there" atmosphere, apples and oranges. Abortion does not require a life time of untested long term effects of drugs or mutilative surgery, come back when you actually have an argument.


  52. To those bring up non trans cosmetic surgery, any feminist who is a REAL feminist (not the "fun" kind) is against superficial cosmetic surgeries and this blog has never gave the impression of anything else. Its all part of the whole, misogyny, dismantle that and there would be no desire for females to transition or get superficial cosmetic surgeries.


  53. I will be doing ongoing videos very shortly.


  54. mAndrea,

    Spot on per usual!


  55. Hey Lily, excellent points. Your answers have motivated me to write a post about the similarities between FTM body dysphoria and that of those women who are insecure with their bodies because they are not feminine/beautiful enough. I believe these are 2 opposite sides of the same coin. Well, I'll write that in a week or so. I also totally agree on the disageement != hate thing and your plan to solve dysphoria.

  56. Lily,

    I agree with you. I'm not completely against cosmetic surgery, but it is *essential* to break the beauty standards, break the sex-role stereotypes, and abolish racial and sexual hierarchies.

    I am trans, I want the body I should have been born to, but at the same time I hate the constant emphasis on surgery-this and surgery-that. The more one thinks about surgery, the harder it gets to like one's body without it. I have some sinus problems right now, but in another week or so I'll probably be happy in my body again.

  57. Anon@11:28

    The fact that you believe in "shoulds" makes your transition completely suspect.


  58. Anon January 28, 2011 5:52 PM


  59. This FTM, ex therapist, talks about how hot it would be to "breed" and have a little transvestite. Refers to it..well, you'd have to listen to the video to understand how warped this guy is. Refers to this whole thing as a fetish.

  60. "To those bring up non trans cosmetic surgery, any feminist who is a REAL feminist (not the "fun" kind) is against superficial cosmetic surgeries and this blog has never gave the impression of anything else."

    Thank you! I hate it when trans people use the "why is okay for women to get breast implants, but not okay for FtMs to get top surgery?" argument. Sorry, but I don't support either.

  61. At first I was offended by your blog. Now I'm not sure. As a lesbian, I agree that transmen don't have a place in the community as they obviously aren't lesbians. I wish there were more butches my age (early 20s) as they all seem to be transmen now! I am starting to wonder if transmen are really butches who bought into what seems to be a trend. I almost began calling myself genderqueer a few weeks back, because I have masculine and feminine personality traits -- but doesn't everybody?! I'm a femme, I'm completely female and that's the way it's supposed to be. I'm not going to judge trans people for what they do, but it does seem to be a societal trend more than anything.

  62. @Bluetraveler why ru so obsessed with this JDR person? Anyone goes to her page can see she is nutty and can't be taken all that seriouly. Cmon get over it.

  63. Anon, I believe Radec from "Me, you and Mary Sue" said it best:

    "I'd like to post a witty, in-depth observation here, but frankly...
    This shit's just dangerous. We all know how gullible adolescents with low confidence get, and futhermore, the overwhelming number of em. But i take it JDR just won't hear someone say "boo" to her precious site, or by now we most certainly would have seen something change. It's been up for how long, after all?"

    JDR, her site and the COGIATI have influenced many people to the road of transition and unhappiness.

  64. Sorry, JDR and HIS site - I am so used to calling JDR a woman, but he's just a delusional manchild.

  65. @anon January 29, 2011 12:19 PM
    JDR is not an "ex-therapist" he is still licensed and practicing

  66. "Please, FTMs. forget about the implants & the piercing and answer this??"

    I certainly don't feel brutalized, except sometimes when I read this blog. Brutalized, misunderstood, lied about, mistrusted, condescended to...
    So just to make sure I have this straight, I am self-absorbed, parasitic on the lesbian community, selfish, a victim of the patriarchy, a potential rapist, a potential molester of unwilling lesbians, whiny, fake, self-deceived, a deceiver of others, an invader of gay male culture, a peer pressurer who tries to convince lesbians to transition. Anything else ya wanna throw at us? Because this kind of shit is just icing on the cake after being a transsexual (for which there is SO much respect and status in society). You people should be ashamed of yourselves.

    I think some of you need to have the courage to look deeply into why you feel such outrage. There's gotta be something else there, or you wouldn't be so obsessed.

  67. anon@ 10:30pm you said it perfectly! I think these women are disillusioned and are so close-minded they have nothing better to do that pick on young kids on youtube and put them down.

    You people should re-read what you write; you write such cruel things and make fun of people. Have you never had someone put you down because you looked butch or a lesbian? My entire life I have been harassed for looking butch, and you turn around and do it to a minority that isn't fully understood within our culture.

    You make fun of them if they're fat, or not attractive by your standards. It is sad that you remind of of Phelps and his band of creeps.

  68. I dont even know where to start. Im a 22 year old FTM, I am not "trending" I have been dealing with this my whole life, and honestly not really a day goes by where I dont ask God to please just make me normal, please dont make me feel this way anymore or I even ask why me what did I do that was so wrong to be like this. There have been days I cant even get out of bed or if I do, I cant not cry. My whole life I have known I was supposed to be a man, so Ive always been one such as mannerisms, style, characteristics, you name it. When I was 3-7 I wouldnt talk to anyone unless they called me Mike. I was about 4 and I asked my mom when I was gonna get a penis like my brother and dad, she said when I could kiss my elbow, so for the next 10 years I spent trying. I ended up realizing how foolish I was, so I stopped and just continued to beg God shamelessly. I kept doing me, needless to say I was harassed to no end at school, malls anywhere. Hell even my taunted me. I couldnt take it so I tried to kill myself and obviously it didnt work, tried a few more times. I finally heard about T and researched it for years finally did something about it and got on it, I was so excited I thought it was gonna be like my new start. But it turns out 85% of the populace now hate me, over my life choices. Ive had people try to fist fight me at my cousins weddings people destroying my mail boxes harassing me online and in person. Am I really that much of a scum bag piece of garbage because Im trying to live my life? Why do I have to be made to feel like I dont deserve to be here, like I shouldnt be alive. And Im not crying out for attention. Im just being honest

  69. Chris,

    "Why do I have to be made to feel like I dont deserve to be here, like I shouldnt be alive."

    NO ONE SAID ANYTHING REMOTELY LIKE THIS. Have you read any of the words on this page?

    This blog is not a hateful place! And we most DEFINITELY DO NOT want you to feel like you shouldn't be alive!!

  70. Hexydezimal.

    "Our decriers claim to care about young women, but the fact is that they only care about their own individual outlook on the matter. What really bothers them is that there is a young woman who is not doing what they want -- i.e. being a feminist, a lesbian, or so on."

    That's bullshit and you know it.

  71. if you'd like to spend your whole life attempting (and failing) to demolish your female body, go right ahead, do whatever you want. The only thing a blog like this is doing is giving facts and information, to help other who are unaware of the issues at hand, or maybe help someone considering making life altering choices that are un-nessesary, etc etc

  72. I will only say one thing that Lily totally got: caring for someone doesn't mean agreeing with them, nor does not agreeing with them mean hating them. If you care for a suicidal person you will try to stop them, right? Many trans people end up suicidal. And remember any kind of body mod is inherently dangerous, never mind one totally altering your hormonal balance and which cuts and reassembles body parts!

  73. Chris, I'm sorry for what happened to you, but this blog is not hateful, on the contrary I think it's quite fair. Criticism can't be silenced by fascism. Another thing: if you believed something as a child it doesn't make that belief automatically true. I believed in Santa Claus when I was 5. Now I don't. Now, as a woman who's not exactly Barbie (while not being a lumberjack either) I feel insulted and ignored by most of the woman population, which is Barbie. They won't even salute me, just as if I was made of air. This doesn't mean I am male or more male.

  74. "My whole life I have known I was supposed to be a man, so Ive always been one such as mannerisms, style, characteristics, you name it. "

    There's really no "man" or "woman" style. There are just tastes and personalities, and modifying and butchering your body to get to resemble a man if that's why you are doing it won't help your self-esteem any.

  75. does anyone think it's possible for a girl who's been sexually abused by men to somehow "reclaim her sexuality" by transitioning and "becoming a man"?

    i saw some hipster ftm girl on youtube saying that, LOL

  76. That's both sadly confused and misogynist as hell. DIRT PLEASE TALK ABOUT RAPE IN THE FTM COMMUNITY MORE! I see it mentioned everywhere, and they believe they can forget their pain, associated with their female, and thus "rapeable" by patriarchal standards, body by transitioning to male, while most likely their rapist was male!!! It makes no sense outside of a stupid "assimilation context"

  77. chris
    your story is sad
    but your problem is in your head not your body
    ftms act like the magical T is going to make life wonderful
    i've yet to see that happen
    they think it's happening when they first force their body into some strange second puberty
    but that won't last
    and then where are you left
    back in the same troubled mind

  78. Dedicated to our trans bro:

    "I am woman watch me grow
    See me standing toe to toe
    As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
    But I'm still an embryo
    With a long long way to go
    Until I make my brother understand"

    This wwhy you should never destroy your female part: it is the strnger part of you!

  79. Can we talk about those MTF who want to go into women spaces?

    I am sorry but I like biowomen not xy women with big feet, super big hands and facial/body hair + artificial vagina. Don't force me to eat what I don't want to eat, is it clear?

  80. i'm much more comfortable with mtf's being in f spaces than ftm's- at least they aspire to something resembling womanhood
    not that i'm keen on any kind of transexualism which always smacks of silliness to me

  81. take a look at this Dirt!
    "he" gives birth and breastfeeds!

    transmen trying to take over the birth and mothering community too! it's not just the lesbians that they are fucking with

  82. actually, i think the thing that PISSES me off the most is that we are SO fucked up as a society that we are more willing to say crazy things like "a man giving birth is cool" rather than accept a gorgeous Butch Lesbian giving birth!
    We are SO hung up on, family is/MUST be Mom+Dad+Baby that we would rather a baby be birthed by "Daddy" than have two Mommies! and we call it "diversity"!!

    am FUMING in case you didn't guess!

  83. Maybe the girlfriend of the transguy you are talking about can't have children so he went ahead and stopped his transition to have the baby. I don't think it has anything to do with transmen wanting to take over the mothering community at all. He still has his "parts" and if his girlfriend couldn't have a child and he did it instead, well I commend him on it. That was his choice and his right. I myself would not want to bear a child of my own as I never have. I have two awesome teenage sons, 19 and 15, and they are great. I just never wanted my own.

  84. @ Causaundra:

    IT'S ONE FREAKING DOLL. How does that equal transmen taking over the birth and mothering community?? Overreact much, Chicken Little?


    You are the ones treating yoursevles and women in general like you have no agency at all.

  85. Dirt, do you plan to talk about the word "out" and "outing" in a future article and related issues?

    These words were "stolen" from the lesbian and gay culture by trans-people.
    *being outed represents a reality for people having a different sexual orientation than the norm because nobody can guess from the outside if you are lesbian or straight, gay or hetero.
    *in opposite, for transpeople, being outed does not represent a reality because everybody can spot from your hips, the size of your hands or feet, the scars you have, all those details ...that you are trans. You can't erase all traces of your past. Moreover when you are a digital native with your life posted online at birth....

    Nowadays, it looks like being outed, being out or stealth is one
    milestone a transperson has to go through to document his life (like the top surgery or the facial hair growth).
    As they all are searching for their "outing" event, ransmale became paranoid and they started seeing "outing" acts in what are just normal life events and interactions with people.
    No this kid on the beach, telling his parents, your scars are weird is not outing you. He just sees reality.
    This person at the supermarket looking at you because you have a beard but still female curves is not outing you. She just sees reality.
    No your past high school friends who use female pronoum on Facebook because she has no clue what being trans is, is not outing you, she is just not very smart...

    Look for example at this video:

    I totally agree with one of the last commenter who wrote "so all those people assume you are just out as they have no clue what part of your identity you disclose to others (remember you are the only one to know your privacy settings ;)...So please don't make of an accident a political act like "he outed me, I will sue him or her with my trans rights non profit or support group"

  86. It's wierd but all the real-life trans I know don't experience much harrassment. I ask with genuine concern, and they all say no that they're mostly left alone. So all these whiners on the intarwebs must look like freaks and they're the ones who attract the bullies.

  87. cassaundra, ftm's are not 'taking over' anything
    you make anti-trans people like myself look pretty bad and stupid

  88. I used to "come out" as "trans" to people when I had formed enough of a friendship with them, but I stopped doing it for a few reasons:

    1) People didn't believe me

    2) People thought I was telling them I'm a pre-op, pre-hormone MTF

    3) People were confused as to what this information about me could have to do with anything. It seemed inconvenient and self-involved and did nothing for me in terms of greater intimacy. The information is simply not useful.

    I don't have scars from my surgery. I'm not short. I'm not curvy. If you look at the bodies of women in general, there are many who share these characteristics (narrow hips, taller, etc.)and so logically a cross-section of transmen would represent a cross-section from that population. Which it does.

  89. "I don't have scars from my surgery. I'm not short. I'm not curvy. If you look at the bodies of women in general, there are many who share these characteristics (narrow hips, taller, etc.)and so logically a cross-section of transmen would represent a cross-section from that population. Which it does."

    Yes this cross section of trans-male is small compared to the majority of transmales who do not pass. So most transmales do not pass at all.

    I have at least 10 FTM friends and I have noticed the happiest with their transition are the ones who were already androgynous prior to transition. The ones who had small boobs and who were lucky to have a peri-areolar surgery (whose scars are less visible)...

    All the others are scared everyday to be spotted as "fraud" as they don't pass: they look like a woman with beard, baldness and hirsutism.

    Most of the time, the reaction of people is not "ahhh a trans disgusting" but more "woa, why have done that to yourself as it was obvious you would never pass ?".
    Most of the time people are not transphobic, but they are really sorry and surprised like if they were facing a complete idiot.
    Like for example when you are in front of a pro-ana person and this person his skinny but keep telling you she is fat. You can find this funny but suddenly you realise this person is or has harmed herself to the point of non-return and so the only feeling left his compassion...That is what people feel in front of trans FTM, most of the time. Even the family or the partner or the friends, they try to do their best to "join the fantasy" because they want to protect the FTM from doing something more harmful so they say "yes you look great"...But most of the time, they are lost you know by the "result" of this so called transition which is not one in fact.

    I do also agree: coming out as trans is confusing...

    Coming out as homosexual makes sense for family or friends as it will avoid you awkward situations like being set up in date with the opposite sex...

    But "being out as trans" means nothing and is a bit in contradiction to the "I feel male inside" statement...
    Trans is not an identity. Male or Female is a gender identity...
    You can be out as male or as female but not as trans.
    And once the transition is done: *if you pass, there is nothing to out as you pass as male
    *if you don't pass, people have eyes and ears, they will not fooled themselves and they are smart enough to know that a short woman on hormon with body hairs is either a trans or a previous olympic or tennis champion...If you say "hello, I am trans" while you don't pass, the only answer you will get, will be "yes, I have noticed and what will be the weather like today, no bother"...It will not create an additional intimacy...

  90. 4:29pm is of the Elite Class of FTMs!
    A champion.


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