Angry Transman at Smith College

Received this email last night, two disturbing features I'd like to address, one is obvious, the other isnt. The obvious issue I'll address is the refrain by many a female transitioner when they encounter strong Butch women, that we surely must somehow be "trans in denial". This accusation more than anything illustrates these transmen's notions of woman and the strict adherence to woman based on visual cues fed to us by society. It illustrates the fear and insecurity female transitioners have and shines a bright spotlight on why they seek to transition. Rather than live and carry their femaleness in ways that is comfortable for them, ways that might question and strain society, they fearfully try to opt out of being female altogether convincing themselves they're "born in the wrong body". As a Butch woman, I was born in the right body! It may have been a difficult road to get comfortable on, but one things for sure, it was well worth the struggle!

The second issue I'd like to address about this email is where it came from, Smith College per the header information. So here is a student at a WOMAN'S college who hates herself, is likely some form of transMAN and from the tone alone, sees herself as something more than female as female contempt underlines her every word. I pity any young woman or women who have to share dorm facilities with her, her female hatred is seethingly strong. 

To sum up, we have a scared young woman who hates herself and other women because she's too afraid to live a life not accepted by society yet depends on the shelter from the same women she hates and has contempt for. 

And the "queer/trans" community wonders why lesbians want nothing to do with either of them, like it isnt painfully fucking obvious! 



  1. The paternalism in that letter is extraordinary, as well as the misogyny.

  2. It is shocking to see all those transmales advising to every butch around the block to transition just because of their butchness...
    My private message to all those trans"bros": get your hands off our butches, we love them like they are... We don't need them to be on T or have mutilation T surgeries...
    Let us live our lives!

  3. A (trans)male at Smith college? Weird!

  4. Fuck you. Nobody gives a good goddamn what you do with your body. You wish we actually gave a fuck. The pressure you feel is coming from you. Otherwise you'd be able to let it go. If you stopped lying about our lives, having never known any of us, we wouldn't give a fuck about your stoopid lesbian revival movement, your stoopid blog, or your paranoid delusions.

  5. That actually sounds just like a born man, not any female I've ever met. No one but a man has that level of hatred for women and oily dismissive condescension. No born woman ever has that level of othering women, they simply don't have it in them. Look at the the coward anon at 8:41pm - THAT is a born woman.

  6. Being a tomboy and gay since 1995, I've often gone through many phases- The way I dress - the way I've fluxuated in stereotypical feminine and masculine roles depending on the relationship and the woman I was with at the time.

    My changes had to do with fashion, my lover, my mood... all influenced by society and how they viewed homosexualism.

    i gotta say- being devoid of family influence for 11 years- i had the privilege of being able to evolve and change without familial scrutiny over that time frame. I also have to say that I didn't know who the FUCK i was in retrospect. Me at 19-24 - I would not cop to today. My dress was awkward, my manner- strange- ... the point is... everyone has evolving to do. Half of us thought at 16, (back then) that World War 3 or another Halocaust was just around the corner, so we thought WHAT THE FUCK... might as well come out of the CLOSET and face the music-
    We FOUGHT for something.

    And Girls/Women. That's not a shameful thing to be.
    Being a girl/women in every single different kind of facet doens't make you weak. It doesn't make the OTHER/ONLY alternative to be a MAN.

    TRANSITIONING isn't the only option.

    You can be any kind of woman you want. You can dress however you want. You can be attractive in different ways. You don't have to be what's labeled on magazines, on youtube, on efbook.

    You can be the next stage in evolution. And believe me - the NEXT STAGE IN EVOLUTION IS A WOMAN WHO DOESN'T FEEL LIKE SHE NEEDS TO PLEASE OR BE A MAN...

    They are the part of the HUMAN race that finds alternatives to WAR. To Equal rights. To Art.

    They will always be at the forefront to those avenues and men will be secondary.

    For such humanitarian causes- do you think testosterone will provoke you to help with these endeavors? What are we, if not related to eachother?

    You say lesbian revival-
    But we were here longer that you.
    So there is no "revival"....
    we are simply trying to let you know that we have been there... and there is HOPE before/during/and after these years of insecurity and awkwardness...

    We might be agressive- we might sound self-righteous- but that's because we care.


    take a deep breath. imagine yourself out of society as you know it. away from everyone on a desert island-

    would you want to transition then?

  7. "If you stopped lying about our lives, having never known any of us, we wouldn't give a fuck about your stoopid lesbian revival movement, your stoopid blog, or your paranoid delusions."

    I am a reader of this blog and I am really surprised to see such comments. There are a ton of blogs on the web. Among them, some are dealing with topics I support, some other not.
    I usually don't go on the blog I don't like to make angry comments. I just let it go. Something the angry commenter above is preaching but not doing.
    The reason why this blog is read by a lot of transguys or trans-in-the-making is because it provides fact-based information about transition and its impacts on health, social life, love & partners, work, places you used to hang out, you will never be able to go after transition...
    It is the only place online where you can have a fair view of transition, where freedom of speech about transition still is a reality.
    The work done here by Dirt and some of her loyal readers/commenters is really valuable. Whatever the topic you are interested to you can find it.
    It is also a great place for FTM partners who are questioning their commitment, wonder how far they can go, how deep the transition of their partner impacts their identity and all the person who are impacted by the FTM trend: gay males who discover this sexy boy does not have one, lesbians who are surprised to see the money of their non profit allocated to trans policy or who don't get why people so eager to define themselves as "males" are drinking a beer at the counter of their favorite L place and try to make it with lesbians (ie women who love boobs and dislike body hair and masculinity in general)....
    As you can see this blog exists just simply because our lives are interdependent as our worlds are overlapping...
    It goes far more than a "lesbian revival movement", if you go to each topic and read the comments, you will notice: gay males read this blog too, straight female partners of FTM read it also, parents read this blog because they dont get how the yaoi passion of their daughter led suddenly to a desire to have her boobs removed and T being injected…
    We all read this blog because the transtrending is impacting our society and we cannot pretend we cannot see its impacts and sometimes, sadly damages in our social circles ….
    (I have a trans friend who committed suicide last month because he realised too late, transition was not for him)

  8. Just thought I would post this to illustrate some of the hysteria that expressing doubts about transistioning generates.

    Basically "dirt from dirt" is compared to racists and white supremacy. Scroll down to point number 4 to see what I am referring to.

    I am always stuck my the high level of emotionalism in responses such as these and the fact that point raised by this blog are never addressed directly.

  9. @Canadian,

    Shows how much this person reads my blog, its rare that I ever use the term, but point taken regarding the rest.


  10. @Dirt
    I have never seen the word "tranny" on your blog either,but I did not have time to check so I did not mention it.
    Also, "tranny" is most commonly used in reference to MtF as opposed to FtM so I would not expect to see it here.

    I would add that the best way to "get the message out" is to rely on logical fact based arguement and forego the name calling.

  11. Anon@8:41 sounds like she's been steeped in the pop psychotherapy bullshit that women are so often steered towards. Unfortunately, that stuff was especially big in the lesbian world for a while, too. "Anger is bad, let it go, don't be critical of anything because that's negative, blah, blah, blah." All that way of thinking does is make people passive aggressive and creepy.

  12. Quite agree with Anon 3:55 AM, people are so curious and interested by FTM trendind because its impact their lives or the ones of their relatives...
    I don't think you can find transphobic lesbian, but you can find a lot of lesbians who feel screwed by (trans)males: they have protected them with open arms and now, their non profit money is for them now, their bars, they even go there whereas they are straight males to hunt lesbians...
    Of course, FTM have chosen an easy target with lesbians and their money: imagine FTM trying to use the NRA budget for transpeople?

  13. @2:18
    Then tell your lesbian friends to stay away from those "big bad wolf" transguys, OR SHUT THE HELL UP!!

    @2:11 u too SFTU, so sick and tired of lesbians or butches or whatever telling trans people what we can or not do. We dont try to convince you to be straight and that being hetero is the best thing in evolution do we. In other words most of us dont give a fuck about you lesbians, what you do or who you sleep it. Our lives and bodies should be none of your damn business either!

  14. Do you have difficulties with reading comprehension, anon@2:36? FTMs are being asked to stay the F away from lesbian organizations and events, and to STFU about how not liking pink and Barbie dolls = male. The second you start doing that, lesbians will stop giving a rat's ass about you.

    Dirt, I left a comment earlier in response to anon@2:18 suggesting that maybe lesbians SHOULD take over the NRA. I don't see it, so I assume it was moderated. Just to clarify, that comment was not meant as a call to violence. But I think it would be great if a well-funded org that shills for right-wing causes were turned into one that promoted legal self-defence for lesbians and women in general.

    However, your blog is your blog, and of course you have the right to moderate it to maintain a certain tone.


Missing Person Kristin Snyder: Lost in a Sea of Myths Pt 2

The next part in our forensic postmortem of the mockumentary The Lost Women of NXIVM will consist of dissecting the major proponents surrou...