Left in a recent comment, thought it deserved its own post! Brilliant!

1. You say the word "heteronormative" at least 8 times a day.
2. You breathe Judith Butler whether you like her or not.
3. You know how to pronounce 'Foucault' correctly.
4. You think Judith Jack Halberstam is 'hot' and join her/his Facebook page.
5. You know more about queer theory than you do about pop culture...
6. You know the difference between post-structuralist, postmodern, psychoanalytic...or at least you think you do.
7. You understand the meaning and appropriate application of the word “cis”.
8. You believe nothing valid or important happened before Postmodernism or the year 1990.
9. By 8:30am you have discussed buying a great strap-on and suggest great pro-feminist porn.
10. You can say that you watched trans and gay porn for credit...
11. People ask you what you actually study in gender studies...
12. People ask you what will you do with your degree.
13. You believe Lady GaGa is an important feminist voice and icon.
14. You introduce yourself with all of your identities; "I'm a postmodern pro-porn, post-feminist, post-patriarchy, queer theorist, anti-establishment ally, queer-straight, gender-free".
15. When you find yourself drunk, at the uni bar, you're STILL talking theory!
16. You say "discourse" at least twice a day.
17. You go to the bar/club and all you see is 'gender performativity' and 'gender variance' everywhere you look.
18. You do arts and crafts and interpretive dance in class for credit.
19. You plan activist projects as part of your tutorial participation.
20. You sit down at a pub making event notices and apply for jobs as a foot fetish model.
21. You debate the politics of the chest-binding while waiting for Idol to start on TV.
22. You post YouTube videos to mark your gender discovery.
23. You broadcast your political ideas and posturings on Twitter, MySpace, Facebook and YouTube under your internet profiles featuring your avatar as your profile photo.
24. Getting your tits out in class is all part of 'de-constructing notions of the pre-inscribed gendered body as a site and vessel for sex and gender normative labeling'.
25. You think that anyone that doesn't subscribe to your new world view is a homophobic/transphobic/nazi/oldschool/outdated/uneducated/HATER!
26. Your friends are either fed up with listening to you or just as self indulgent, middle class and boring as you.


  1. 27. You are deeply concerned with the worldwide oppression caused by misandry.

  2. 28. You think the word "woman" is deeply problematic, and spend a lot of time wondering if you are one, based on your taste in clothing, alcoholic beverages, and light entertainment.

  3. 29. You think your long, long, list of identities (post- , poly- , pan- , anarcho- , pro- , fill-in-the-blank-positive, etc., makes you a non-conformist. Actually, it makes you a Hallmark-worthy cliché from 1991. But you probably don't realize that, because you were still in nursery school then.

  4. In that same vein...

    30. You judge everyone's politics based on the pronouns they prefer.

    If they go by "zie" or hir," they are fighting back against gender oppression.

    If they go by "he," they are good allies.

    If they go by "she," they are hopelessly conformist, and trapped in misogyny.


  5. 31 after a long coming out process including youtube, you self-identify as male (or a unicorn) yet still think you can be a feminist...
    32 you are suspicious and shoot first when you meet a woman who claims she can be a feminist

  6. 33. You see nothing the slightest bit strange about that professor of yours who writes long, VERY personal articles about the evolution of her taste in pornography. On the contrary, you take careful notes on how Prof. Q's newfound appreciation for the money shot in cis het male porn (i.e., Hustler) interacts with her older views on the performance of masculinities. You are grateful she was willing to take so much time during office hours to discuss your senior thesis, "Vulva as Phallos: Towards a Radical Reinscription of Split Beaver." You honestly don't understand why your parents have muttered something about calling the police.

  7. 34. You don't think it's even a little bit weird that much of the academic orthodoxy about "queerness" derives from the work of the late Eve Sedgewick, a woman who spent her entire adult life in what appears to have been a happy, heterosexual marriage, but who had a strange fascination with the sexual practices of gay men -- but only the kinky ones, thank you very much. On the contrary, you find the idea of a "queer, faggot-identified" straight woman completely unremarkable.

    If one of your hopelessly retro friends suggests that maybe a straight, married woman who had a thing for bear porn should not be regarded as an authority on gay lives, you are stunned into flabbergasted silence. Finally, you allow as how maybe your friend just hasn't had time to evolve beyond such HRC-type bougie assimilationist thinking.

    Also, you cannot believe there's anyone out there whose enjoyment of Henry James has not been enhanced by Prof. Sedgewick's claim to have discovered coded references to digito-anal penetration in his novels.

  8. 35. You like diversity and think it is best supported by erasing unique identifiers and replacing them all under the term "queer". You support diversity in communities by insisting that all gatherings arranged around a particular unique shared quality should be abolished and replaced with homogenous "queerness" because you feel people who identify differently than you oppress you with their difference.

  9. Love this, and your additions anonymous!

  10. These comments are priceless, thanks Anon.


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