A follow up to yesterday's Pressure to Transition Post

A Femme friend recently asked for some advice for a Butch she's recently began seeing. The advice she was seeking for her new Butch was regrading bras. She found out this Butch was wearing a "binder", she explained the dangers of this insane practice to this Butch and also pointed her to my blog. The Butch has ceased wearing the binder and in talking about her breast shame issues, has begun to feel better about her body in way she hasnt for quite some time. I offered her a bra suggestion, something that functions while not appearing that different than a "wife-beater". Sadly when it comes to bras the special needs of Butches never get taken into account,(we dont exist remember) we're not interested in getting fucked in it, we want something boringly comfortable but does its job. At any rate my Femme friend sent this email snippet back to me and as it was pertinent... 

And on a similar note I received this screencap in an email just a short bit ago from an anonymous person (thanks btw)

This pressure to transition shit is something we REALLY need to start talking about in a very SERIOUS way, regardless of where the pressure is coming from, whether from lovers, trans friends or the trans community in general. NO ONE should feel pressured into doing something so drastic and so mind, body and spirit altering.

If you were pressured or know someone who was, please comment or send me your story at dirtywhiteboi67@yahoo.com




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  1. If anyone else needs suggestions on purely utilitarian bras, google "Title Nine". They have a good selection of sports bras that are designed for support during athletic activities rather than catering to the male gaze.

  2. I was pressured to "transition" first of all by the so-called "science" (actually junk science) of the medical/psych community. Every time I saw a doctor for something (sprained ankle, chest cold, whatever), I was assumed in "need" of being turned into a fake "man" in order to "treat" my larger "disorder" (my "disorder" being that I was a butch female). That made me feel badly about myself, feel there was something wrong with me, even though what it really meant was that the doctors I was seeing should have been kicked out of medicine as a danger to their patients, due to their complete lack of scientific thinking and unwillingness to transcend their own hatred of natural femaleness in all its diversity.

    The other pressure to "transition" I got later in life from the indoctrinated butch communities I found most apparent locally and online - those that had swallowed the fake "trans" "science". For example, I would join "butch" groups, being told that of course butches and "ftms" were both welcome - but it was always a lie, because those who had or wanted to "transition" either pressured me to go their route, or cut me off from the group when I did not (even when I never questioned their decision).

    Since I hadn't figured out yet that the real butches weren't in these groups anyway, I was also pressured by loneliness, thinking I had to conform / "transition" in order to make/keep butch friends.

    The ways of being pressured are many. I've had people outright tell me I "had" to, because I'm "obviously" supposed to be a "man". But I've also had people tell me as a natural butch I will WANT to transition when I "mature" or "grow up". I've had people tell me I'm not a "real man" until I take the cut-n-drug route (even though none of them were or ever will be "real men" either, no matter how much they "transition", and even though I never asked to be a "real" man).

    I even had "trans" people try to break up my years-long marriage because it never made sense to me why my lesbian wife would want to be with me anymore if I tried to make my body "male". They told me she would just have to accept it - meaning, once again, that the female (her) would have to subordinate herself and her natural desires to the "male"/ftm (me, if I "transitioned") who didn't fit her desires. That kind of woman-hating gave me my first real step understanding what a load of horse do the whole "trans" thing really is.

  3. It makes me sad that people are being pressured into transitioning. While I want to be supportive of the trans community they should be supportive of the butch community. As humans we all have some sort of body issues, due to society, this does not mean I would want to transition.

  4. Please note that this pressure to transition is made more and more important because there is a trend of giving LGBTQI program coordinators job position at university to transguys now instead of giving them to lesbian so lesbian are disapearing from LGBTQI students affair team.

    For example, the LGBTQI program coordinator at Vanderbilt has been recently taken from a woman to be given to transguy TJ Jourian (who appeared in transgeneration and explain his new job position appointment on Youtube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqiACLh9GqU).

    The funny part is TJ is not even American (he is from Cyprus) so they even had to issue a H1-B visa (see there http://hr.vanderbilt.edu/jobs/lca.htm) to hire him.

    Why not having filled this job position with an american butch or any american lesbian ?

    We should fight because for me as a lesbian a program coordinator who is male cannot replace a lesbian...And I find transguy more dangerous than gay male at those position because they can shut every mouth who can open up against the transition pressure...

  5. It is very interesting because even Ethan Leggett Daniel, the poster boy FTM of the site ftmtransition.com explains in his FAQ this pressure to transition and the hierarchy between transitioning and non transitioning people existing in those "support" group (see there: http://www.ftmtransition.com/transition/faq/faqtransgen.html) .

    And he explains how it was difficult for him to figure out what to do to make his OWN mind. But how many are smart and strong enough to do it ? And also how many FTM just started by a "little binder" just to discover a few months later that their breast tissue were so damaged, they had no choice to go for top surgery and remove it ?
    Presenting little single steps on the transition like cross-dressing or "binding" unharmful techniques is really a medical lie and it deserves an entire warning post for FTM wannabe...


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