The Top Ten Signs You are NOT a Transman FTM

1) You felt like a "boy" as a child.

2) You disliked "girl" clothes, "girl" toys and "girl" things in general.

3) You had a preference for "boy" clothes, "boy" toys and "boy" things in general.

4) You felt wrong (shameful) having to use the "girls" bathroom at school.

5) When playing pretend games you often (always) imagined yourself in the "boy's" roles.

6) Your preferred playmates were often (always) boys.

7) When puberty began you felt depressed because you felt as though your body had betrayed you.

8) You wanted to die or disappear the first times you had to (buy) wear a bra.

9) Even if athletic, you felt a sense of physical weakness (inferiority) because your body wasn't changing the way males of similar ages around you were.

10) As a teenager you felt more and more alienated from your body until you began feeling a mind/body split. dirt
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Misinformation and the FTM Trans Community

This screen cap was sent to me last night, a screen cap from a well known and well populated ftM forum. While the person who sent the cap didnt send any comments along with, they did say there were about two dozen, all of similar opinion and agreement. See screen cap here:

Frightening though this may be, this is just a drop in the bucket of the misinformation being bred in trans forums, websites, email lists and real time groups across the globe. This girl (I'm assuming girl as she sounds positively young) doesnt even have the first clue about human biology let along how her own body works!

These misinformation's are made worse by those who are informed but choose not to disseminate truthful info because the truthful information is counter productive to the notions/goals of transition. There is a HUGE pathological need found among most of those who are seeking transition or have transitioned, to the extents that they can, to have everyone they know/encounter to buy into their trans ideas of themselves. Dissent is intolerable! Therefore truthful information and those broadcasting it become intolerable as well. Think Pro-Ana (anorexic) spaces if you need a close comparison. (not surprisingly anorexia is a regular guest among ftMs-but that's another post)

So with regards to this particular post and any misinformation generated from posts like these, in the name of TRUTH and DISSENT some basics about human development and basic female biology.

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"Queer" Campus Groups and a College Near You

Having the emailer's permission I wanted to share a recent email I received that covers the "queer" (queer meaning not gay, not lesbian but anything else) trend taking place at colleges across the states and across the globe. A trend that began in the early 90's when "queer theory" and "gender studies" began eradicating Lesbian Studies (which no longer exist) and Women's Studies (which are on the verge of extinction).

Sadly this young lesbian's voice and experience has become the trend among college lesbians seeking a home with other lesbians on campus's within the campus GLBT group/s, but instead of a home they find themselves alienated from the dominant group/group discourse. The tragic part of this, besides the co-option/erasure of lesbians by the hetero-privileged "queer women" reigning supreme over the lesbians within these groups is what happens to the lesbians these "queer women" have convinced to transition? These "queer women" who after they've turned in their cap an gown are going to simply graduate back into hetero-patriarchy and be married/married with children by the time they reach their thirty's. The fact is were they then to run into a single one of these transitioned lesbians on the street they will proceed as if they had never laid eyes on them before, despite having held their hand through the removal of both their HEALTHY breast.

On one hand they are no different than the 4 year lesbians of yesteryear, on the other much worse and much more dangerous because in the past a lesbian was merely left with a broken heart, today she is left drugged and mutilated into a monstrosity along with that broken heart. Take heed young lesbians, take heed.

I am receiving more and more emails along these lines, some who like this young woman who have allowed me to share her story with you and others too afraid of being "slandered", "attacked" and called "transphobic" to have their stories made public. What are your GLBT campus experiences as a lesbian? I would like to hear and like others to hear these stories, stories that have become the norm rather than the exception. Please email me at if you would like to share/vent. And specify if I may utilize your story publicly here for the good of other lesbians going through similar and as a warning to lesbians considering joining campus lesbian groups.

I am thinking about creating a space for lesbians who are being pressured to transition, thoughts?


Some Hard TRUTHS about SRS and SRS Regrets

Part of this post comes from an article recently sited in another post, full article here. The caps from the article deal with a couple of examples of trans regrets/misdiagnoses and the second set of screen caps are from those who've had trans surgeries (mutilations) that resulted in various complications. Complications seeming to be the norm, the extent of complications obviously varies per person.

Explain to me how the world wide medical community remains surgically brutalizing (according to them) mentally ill people as a means to "cure" their mental illness??? What century is this?? Is maintaining the status quo more important than individual lives??? Lives forever changed, changed in ways we saw (ice pick) lobotomies change forever the personalities of tens of thousands world wide, with some complications showing themselves immediately with relation to altered personalities, to complications that caused early deaths that were NOT foreseen!

How many many many lobotomy patients were merely depressed housewives with 5+ kids? Angry young women who refused to conform to parental/societal expectations? How many were young men too angry or maybe worse, much too sensitive? The literary genius Janet Frame found herself on that list and had her work not won the highest literary award in New Zealand a few days before, she too would have been lobotomized. Like Freeman and his ice pick lobotomies, I've no doubt the medical community will eventually catch up and begin TRULY treated those suffering from body shame/body dysphoria/gender shame/gender dysphoria, but like Freeman's ice pick lobotomy patients how many will forever be altered permanently by drugs and surgeries for a mental cure all till that time comes?

In the short term there is some hope of having GID removed from the next version of the DSM in 2013. While this is no solution to what is clearly mental, it would however halt at least temporarily many who are using private medical and countries with national health care from funding their transitions. Because there would still be a need from those who have the trans disorder, it may persuade some in the medical community to create alternatives in the way of therapies which would treat the issues where they had arisen, mentally. I have been recently contacted by the American Psychiatric Institute for Research and Education regarding input on the DSM 5, keep your fingers crossed! Change might just be around the corner!


Exposing Trans lies and misogyny under the guise of a Transman

I try and generally do keep this blog and its posts here drama free, as I much prefer the serious and serious discussion/commenting because the issues here ARE serious, ARE life and death in fact for many. That said, I hope this doesnt come off as dramafying, as I post it with the same seriousness as I do when writing about Butch Shame or Femme invisibility.

I received an email last night claiming to be from a female who was forced (it seemed) to take "T"/transition, they wrote to me according to their email subject because they wanted me to use their story to warm other females about the negative effects of testosterone etc. Here are the pertinent snippets from their email to me:

Reading through this I was immediately suspicious because (besides it sounding totally contrived) they contradict themselves. They claim on one hand to have began "T" at around age 12/13 (7th grade) then after high school claimed they were going bald despite not having used "T". Not to mention there arent too many 6'3 200+ pound females out there and "T" might create male secondary characteristics, it isnt a growth hormone!

Needless to say I did a bit of research and found that Sean Tisdall, the man who sent the email claiming he was a trans(man) by force, was really Sean Tisdall in real time, Valerie Keefe online. See here:

Then researching a bit further for a more thorough verification I found this along with the same "weekend and Bernies" reference he made in his fabricated trans(man) email story to me.

Once I figured out this man's LIES, while skimming through a few of his journal posts I spotted this recent comment made about trans(men):

I post this for several reasons, one because this kinda bullshit needs to be exposed, I dont know the motivation behind this guy's LIES but I do know he is clearly unbalanced. (no, this isnt me saying every trans person under the sun is a nut job, this is me saying this one IS)

Two, I post this as a warning for any trans(men) that may know or think this guy is your friend. He isnt. He hates women and it seems he hates trans(men) even more. I wont say that this man is a typical autogynephile, but I will say he is a definite autogynephile! One whom it seems has such a deep seated hatred of women he's transferred that onto trans(men) as well. Which indicates he despises them for their natural female biology(which he'll never possess) and because once transitioned/passing he perceives them as a threat/competition for what his male privilege informs him belongs only to "real" men which to him they are not.

And lastly I post this because throughout the posts I read from him in various places, he has some SERIOUS pathological anger and hatred of what he calls "radfems" as in radical feminist and radical lesbian feminist (he fancies himself a 'lesbian'). So to any radical feminist who has dealt with this guy under his "valerie" guise, beware and remember he is a 6'3 340+ pound man first and foremost.


Butch Oppression

I ran across this blog recently and while it doesnt seem the blogger has maintained it, I wanted to bring some attention to this particular post made there and how the blogger beautifully and poignantly expresses Butch Oppression and how that oppression is taking its toll on Butch women of all age, colours and classes.

Dirt's Trans 101-A Trans Academic Readers List

Along with "transphobic", "misinformed" and "misinformation" seem to be the words du jour with regards to me as a person and my blog as a source of accurate information according to trans and trans apologists.

Before I disseminate a few of  the Trans research pieces I've collected here, I'd like to give you a brief history of my experience with gathering and providing trans related information. After having been at the cusp of the "queer"/trans born-in-the-wrong-body-crusade and followed it to its current if-I-claim-it-say-it-it-be-true-mantra and seeing/reading little in the way of critical dissent/analysis (at least on the surface) I began commenting and then writing on the subject myself. 

The first thing that happened was silence, and then came the “transphobia” remarks and then came the demands for "proof" whenever I questioned or disproved something from Trans Bible babble. So what better place, what better material, what better source than straight from mouths of the horses themselves, the Trans community first and then the medical/academic community second.

So what I began doing when making a point based on something harvested from a horses mouth I linked to the herd. What almost immediately happened was the forums or communities or websites where the link came from closed their open stable doors so that the links were then broken and the information hidden. I found this outrageous and shocking at first, but being a persistent bugger especially when real lives were dependant on this information I persevered, and came up with a plan B of sorts: screen capping.

I joined these same forums and email lists and communities and websites under aliases, a multitude of aliases so that when one is ferreted out, a dozen more remain. It may seem wrong, intrusive even, but sadly the only way truthful trans information from the REAL lives and lived experiences of “queer”/trans people is going to be heard. So I screen capped whatever it was I was making a point about, and not just one screen cap from one “queer”/trans person, but dozens, strength in numbers and all that. So straight away came the “copyright infringement” complaints, the next line of attack/defense utilized to keep me quiet and truthful (sometimes ugly) “queer”/trans information in. Since “fair use” was added to protect those who utilize quotes and pictures etc from the net with the intent of humor or educational purposes, not money making, I rarely get a copyright complaint now.

So between the threats of violence (I’ll bash your butch brains in bitch) and rapes (I’ll fuck the lezzy right out of you cunt) and a few (I could kill you bitch) I began just writing posts, with no links and no screen caps, then I was hit with the “prove its” and the “you are misinformed” all over again so that I saw I had come full circle in the trans maze of look here and not there.

The information from my posts are both general and specific and obviously there are always exceptions to everything, BUT the information does come from “queer”/trans people themselves, the medical community and academic research gained from “queer”/trans people themselves. That said going forward I will do my best to provide either through screen caps (private though they might be), open links and research exactly where any “queer”/trans information is gleaned from unless common sensed. With that, here is the first of some of the academic research utilized for past posts.

Transphobia is one of the more newly identified oppressions, and for the last number of years it has commanded the attention and focus of many activist communities. As a result, there exists a hyperconsciousness around transphobia. At the best of times, this alertness contributes to greater dialogue about, and awareness and understanding of, transphobia. At the worst of times, it contributes to a process of internal policing that creates a climate of fear that shuts down process and the possibilities of what can be discussed. (p. 379)

In this study, sexual-minority women partners who resisted abuse were accused of being ‘anti-trans’ and were implicitly threatened with the status of their political reputations (p.386)

While trans people are often victims of violence, this research reveals that they can also be perpetrators (p. 387)

The above can be found in  Brown, N. (2007) Stories from Outside the Frame: Intimate Partner Abuse in Sexual-minority Women’s Relationships with Transsexual Men. Feminism & Psychology 17(3) p.373-393.

Other readings…..

Bailey, J. M. Triea, K. (2007) What Many Transgender Activists Don’t Want You to Know: And why you should know it anyway. Perspectives in Biology and Medicine, volume 50, number 4 (autumn) p. 521–34

Bailey, J. M. (2003). The man who would be queen: The science of gender-bending and transsexualism.
Washington, DC: Joseph Henry Press.

Drescher, J. (2010) Queer Diagnoses: Parallels and Contrasts in the History of Homosexuality, Gender Variance, and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Archives of Sexual Behavior. 39:427–460

Hulshoff Pol, H. E., et al. (2006). Changing your sex changes your brain: Influences of testosterone and estrogen on adult human brain structure. European Journal of Endocrinology 155(suppl. 1):S107–S114.

Kenagy, G.P, Hsieh C. M (2005) The risk less known: female-to-male transgender persons' vulnerability to HIV infection AIDS care -

Lawrence,A.A. (2004). Autogynephilia: A paraphilic model of gender identity disorder. Journal of Gay and Lesbian Psychotherapy 8(1/2):69–87

Lawrence,A.A. (2006). Clinical and theoretical parallels between desire for limb amputation and gender identity disorder. Archives of Sexual Behavior 35(3):263–78.

This list is literally the tip of the iceberg, since the trans community seems either unaware of the information out there or is hell bent on hiding it, I will include trans research/books/articles etc in future posts to come.

As my poor little hillbilly granny (now dead) often said "the proof is in the pudding", so here's your pudding, it is up to you to provide the spoon.


Menstruastion (period) Shame/Dysphoria Does NOT Equal Trans

I am putting both these comments in a separate post because I do not want to see their message get buried beneath other posts.

A few days ago Femme Avenger said...
The shame that you talk about that little girls feel about their bodies, their choices of how to be 'a girl' was not reserved merely to 'butch' little girl's experience. Sadly, the rigid gender education of boys and girls is designed to condition them to social rules in order to slot them into the appropriate categories governed by social, political and religious hegemony. I don't know how many non-butch lesbians I have known (or tomboy straight girls) that have spoken your words. I don't know one woman that rejoiced as a little girl, the day her first period arrived. I was a ‘girly girl’ child, loved dress-ups, loved pink, loved dolls. I was 11 turning 12 when I got my first period and the day it arrived; I sat on the toilet and just cried, I was scared and knew that I hated this it was ‘yucky’ traumatic painful and wanted it to just go away. I should also mention that I felt shame about not only my period, but the arrival of pubic hair, breasts and curves. I looked different to my other little girl friends, most of whom did not reach puberty until years later. Sleep-over parties filled me with dread as did school swimming carnivals, sports days, and even standing up and walking to the front of the class around period time was terrifying because I feared I may have blood on my skirt. I also felt aware of myself as a sexually developed female and began to feel the ‘male gaze’ for the first time and this also made me aware and ashamed of my body. The boys at school looked at me 'funny' and laughed at my body, and my 'boobies!'.

If on the day that my period arrived, and for so many years later, I could have taken a pill to stop my period ever coming back, I would have taken it. I was so ashamed of not only of the physical aspects of menstruation (even its name includes the word ‘men’) but the social responsibility. I was so scared of anyone knowing I had my period that I made my father purchase sanitary pads for me. My mother treated it like a coming of age celebration and made it a family occasion to proclaim “Oh! My little girl became “a woman” today. My brothers burst out laughing and they teased me about it. I was mortified that my mother could take something so private and treat it like some kind of public rite of passage. She was proclaiming to me and my whole family “you are different now” and that made me feel more ashamed.
How many of us still feel the weight of social responsibility and continue to feel shame about our “monthly visitors”? How many of us don’t hesitate in the isles of the supermarket when approaching the ‘women’s hygiene products’ section? How many of us rejoice when our ‘visitors’ arrive each month? How many of us would like to round up and throw a grenade at advertising executives that write advertisements for sanitary products showing fit, non-bloated, ‘happy’ women (often eating health food-yeah right) running through the breeze in skimpy underwear?

We need as women to talk about our experiences of our bodies at various stages in development and ageing, so we can see that these issues of shame and discomfort are often shared. By keeping these stories in the closet, we are not sharing and learning from each other. There are more similarities than differences in our experiences and we need to voice them so that we are not assuming ‘I am the only one that felt shame’ or ‘different’ and that these feelings of 'being different' in our bodies automatically = GID.

FA x
Today I answered her with this: FA,
Great points! I recently asked a handful of females I know (some hetero/some lesbian), that if after starting their periods, if someone had offered them testosterone and told them this drug would relieve them of their periods albeit changing their feminine appearance would they have taken it, ALL said yes! They said due how uncomfortable they felt, the shame, the dysphoria, the hormone changes, the pain, the worry of bleeding through clothes, the how could my body do this to me feelings etc. they believe they would have done anything to stop having them.

This is a HUGE area where both the lesbian community (especially Femme/Butch spaces) and the shrinks who issue “T” have a lot of work to do! As lesbians we need to express the feelings we’ve all had in and around menstruation, especially the shame based areas and shrinks need to include this in their understanding of how this issue alone can cause a female to seek transition.

Shame, dysphoria, embarrassment, fear, hate, all these feelings around menstruation can be quite “normal” for many females, it is NOT an indication that females who feel this way are “trans” and should “transition”. Until we begin real talks about how our bodies are during periods and how we mentally deal or mentally crumble during our periods, the shame and dysphoria will continue plaguing us and some females will continue seeking solace in a bottle of testosterone.

July 17, 2010 11:10 AM

The truth is periods bring on a sense of shame and body dysphoria, the intensity of which depends on a multitude of variables but none the less something nearly all females feel, sometimes for a short time, sometimes for years and sometimes until they go through menopause and never have one again. It isnt uncommon, it doesnt mean you are trans or a man trapped in a female body. It means we live in a male dominated world that shames us because our bodies are biologically different (different-NOT inferior) and menstruation is yet another weapon males wield against women by shaming us for a natural process, a process if it did not exist, neither would we. And through that shame, if it sets deep enough create dysphoric feelings alienating us from our very own bodies.

And all this isnt me saying lets all paint each other in menstrual blood during a full moon around a drum circle, periods are natural, doesnt mean they are beautiful., they are often painful, messy and gross. But so is something like the flu when we're hacking up a lung or horking small green globs or our nose turns into a faucet. We're not ashamed of those things, and that's not because they arent painful, messy and gross, its because men also get flu's and colds as well, unlike periods. Because periods are alien to men, they create an atmosphere that makes periods alien to us as well which alienates us from our bodies. 

What are your experiences in the menstruation realm? Given that there is a fair amount of trans(men) traffic going through here, tell us in all honesty how you felt about getting your period, tell us how or if it contributed to your transition. There has been a slew of hate messages and quite a few about wanting dialogue and better understanding, so lets here your stories too trans(men). And I'd like to know from all the other women, would you have taken "T" or been sterilized to halt your period as a teenager or later?


A follow up to yesterday's Pressure to Transition Post

A Femme friend recently asked for some advice for a Butch she's recently began seeing. The advice she was seeking for her new Butch was regrading bras. She found out this Butch was wearing a "binder", she explained the dangers of this insane practice to this Butch and also pointed her to my blog. The Butch has ceased wearing the binder and in talking about her breast shame issues, has begun to feel better about her body in way she hasnt for quite some time. I offered her a bra suggestion, something that functions while not appearing that different than a "wife-beater". Sadly when it comes to bras the special needs of Butches never get taken into account,(we dont exist remember) we're not interested in getting fucked in it, we want something boringly comfortable but does its job. At any rate my Femme friend sent this email snippet back to me and as it was pertinent... 

And on a similar note I received this screencap in an email just a short bit ago from an anonymous person (thanks btw)

This pressure to transition shit is something we REALLY need to start talking about in a very SERIOUS way, regardless of where the pressure is coming from, whether from lovers, trans friends or the trans community in general. NO ONE should feel pressured into doing something so drastic and so mind, body and spirit altering.

If you were pressured or know someone who was, please comment or send me your story at




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The Pressure to Transition and the Deception of the Trans Machine


This is is an example of not only how the female "trans myth"  began but how afterward the trans machine is now pressuring some women (a teenager in this case) to transition. Somewhere between the societal straight jacket placed on women and the trans machine this young woman believes she was a "trans kid" because she wanted to wear her brothers underwear. Geez if that were the case nearly every Butch past or present would have been a "trans kid"! I've known some Butches who did wear their brother underwear and others who had parents opened minded enough to purchase what their daughter wanted to wear rather than what society said she should wear based on her sex.

When I was 4 years old a co-worker of my father's was selling a mini-bike, my dad said he'd take it. The guy said "your son sure is going to love this", my dad proudly said "I'm getting it for my 4y/o daughter"! The guy couldnt believe it. And as I was too young then to even ride a two wheel bike my dad fashioned a way to put training wheels on it till I was 5 and could ride it without them. And that began a short list of bigger and bigger mini-bikes till my dad taught/bought me a motorcycle when I was 10.

Thats not say that Butches and butch persuasioned females didnt think at some points in their young lives that they were male or wanted to be male, many do and did. But that isnt because "inside" they are male, it is because they enjoy all things male as girls. They feel more comfortable in boys clothes, they enjoy boys toys and games and rough play( I LOVED the rough area" at school), their closest friends are boys etc. But there were a section of female clothes similar to boys clothes they could be equally comfortable in those and if their were girls toys similar to boys toys, they could easily prefer to play with them and if their were more girls like them they could have easily had them as playmates as they did boys. None of this, NONE of it is any indication that those girls were "trans" then or "trans" now. It simply means they prefer and were/are comfortable with things that are deemed by society outside of their gender.

The "trans machine" would also have you believe that Butch and butch persuasioned women do not transition because they are comfortable and at peace with their female bodies and that it is only trans(men) who werent which is why they transitioned. I know to the Butches/butches out there thats laughable in a very sad sad way. What Butch/butch hasnt HATED herself for being female? Felt complete shame for developing breast and starting her period? Dreamed as a girl of waking up a boy, only to be disappointed years of mornings when she didnt?

Somewhere between narrow sex roles and puberty nearly all Butches and many butch persuasioned girls develop body dysphoria around their breast and pussys. Their breast because their budding growth leave no room for doubt about their sex, their boy dreams thoroughly dashed, their pussys often times worse (greater dysphoria/shame) because of their monthly periods. Periods are a HUGE source of shame and discomfort mentally and physically for Butches and butch persuasioned females and because many Butches grew up with males and had males solely as best friends, once they got their period many would end up feeling quite cut off and alone because they had no close female friends with which to confide their constant shame to.

Very often it isnt until Butches are well into their twenties and thirties and with multiple lesbian relationships behind them (Femmes are a great comfort around this issue, and I've never been with or known a Femme who didnt take up the responsibility of buying sanitary products for their Butch-who even as an adult still often feels ashamed she needs such things) that they begin getting over the worst of their menstrual dysphoria, by and large most of us like all women, simply learn to live with it.

All these sorts of discomforts, misguided boy dreams, shames and body dysphoria's are all what sadly is a "normal" part of Butch/butch childhood/girlhood/womanhood. None of it has anything to do with "trans" or being "born in the wrong body", it does however have EVERYTHING to do with being BORN IN THE WRONG SOCIETY. Born in a society where we have become, each generation of Butches the vampires of our age. Because whenever we look into the mirror of society we have NEVER seen ourselves staring back!

Do NOT be fooled by the trans machine, through strength and perseverance and acceptance most Butches/butches not only learn to be comfortable in their bodies with time, we also learn to LOVE and enjoy our Butch/butch bodies!  


A Dirt Feminist Reading Suggestion: Ingeborg Bachmann's Malina

A few quotes from an exquisite feminist source on Bachmann and her Malina entitled Cemetery of the Murdered Daughters, I suggest reading the link first before picking up Bachmann's novel.


The Trans Mantra-When in doubt ATTACK

I've just received a link to this video made by an obviously VERY upset trans(boy), who while preaching love and acceptance urges a call to all trans(men) to attack me/this blog. While I have received quite few hate/misogynistic comments in the last few days such as these to quote a handful:

The butch/femme community in the lesbians world makes me want to fucking puke. Butches: stop crying and chop your tits off. You know you want to, so grow up and do it. No one likes a man with boobs. Not you, not your girlfriend. Femmes: You're straight, go suck a dick and get a life.

wow it sounds like someone put on their KKK under-roos this morning. This blog has so many inconsistency's it sounds like a MAN wrote it.

Seems to me more than anything the hate I seem to find on this topic is represented by lesbians.
i find this blog horrifying and incredibly hateful. this blog rides the line of internet bullying, which is a fucking crime. we'll be watching.

you have a lot of this religious junk in your head, and you can't enjoy propoerly your sexual relationships. you are sick and you will go to hell.

Another man hating lesbian...

very transphobic female, very disappointed.

Calm down and go find yourself a smokin' hot girl (or boy) to fuck. That always makes me feel better when I'm out of sorts. 

YOU SHOULDN'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ ONLINE especially if it is a blog by some stereotypical man hating stupid ass dyke ruining it for the normal lesbians who can function in society! Thanks bitch!
Choke on my trans dick and die bitch.

You my dear are just another woman hating man. Get back on your Harley, fix your faux hawk and stick your short stubby fingers up your ass. 

Ugly though they are, misogynistic and anti-female/feminist though they are, none were a call to arms such as this video is. But what most of these types of comments and this video do have in common is the belief that one can preach peace while calling for war!

And one has to wonder doesn't one, if this blog is so full of  "shit" and misinfo" why the desperateness and urgency to create a video (while driving no less) aimed at silencing me through trans force? If this trans(boy) and those like them are so happy and comfortable with their new found selves, why the need to silence a dissenting voice? If trans identity is so grounded, why is it so hell bent on the pathological need that every person alive subscribe to some trans mass delusion? And why is it the trans attacks and forms of trans threats/violence are only ever directed and executed at women/lesbians/radical lesbian feminist?

This shit is the same shit that women have been dealing with for centuries, men and now trans(men) trying to silence the voices of women. Were there not any truth to my posts the video in question would not have been made, and the fact that it was, speaks fucking volumes!

Misogyny-alive and attacking

dirt-proud Butch WOMAN!

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Buck Angel the even BIGGER "butch" LIE!

Like Maddow (although not nearly quite as "butch" apparently since Maddow placed number one on the "butch" top 100 list of 2009) Angel merely placed a measly 62, but very much like Maddow, Angel clearly is NOT remotely a Butch or even butch for that matter!

An Angel before and after pic:
There are two MAJOR problems with Angel being "butch", first as you can tell she wasn't any variation of "butch" before transition let alone an actual Butch woman, just a seemingly feminine woman and second after transitioning to a male variation s/he obviously cannot be "butch" because Butch/butch exist only in the female form. Angel's testosterone induced masculinity supercedes Butch/butch or the possibility had it (which it didnt) existed prior of Angel being a Butch/butch woman. All the tattoo's and "T" and steroids and pumping iron in the fucking world cannot create a Butch female, those products instead create a synthetic masculinity and Butch women are NOT masculine. We are butch! With regards to Angel, s/he is clearly masculine, but if you have ever heard her speak or see her how s/he holds and moves her/his body, s/he isnt the macho still seen here but instead a very feminine speaking/moving trans(man). And I do not say "feminine" as a dis, because unlike many I do not see femininity (in any of its forms) as something to be ashamed of or any less than masculinity.

Again as with the Maddow post what really annoys me, no, ANGERS me is that because someone like Angel (who is masculine NOT butch) is on a "butch" top 100 list, Butch is then assumed to be something that it isnt. And by labeling a trans(man) "butch" this leads to the ignorant notions that have plagued Butch women for centuries that we arent nothing more than some male variation rather than the women that we actually are! And to be clear, my anger is NOT towards Angel, but towards the idiots who continue co-opting and colonizing Butch identity for their own sweet purposes or cant be bothered ignorance's.

For Angel I only feel a deep sense of sadness and pity, much in the same way one pities and empathizes with an abused child or a battered wife or a rape victim. Because judging from these drastic photo's I would wager some BIG bucks Angel was a child of some form of molestation. While certainly every trans(man) wasnt a product of child/teen rape, far too many are for us not to conclude it a significant factor in the transition process of many.

And speaking strictly of Angel, I find it abhorrent to think that this poor woman had done nearly everything medically/cosmetically possible to murder that first image, to bury her alive in the second image punishing herself for god know what and yet that wasnt enough punishment and torture, her self hatred runs so fucking much deeper. Deep enough to put whats left of her female anatomy into sick gay male porn, being fucked by men in every possible orifice, punishing and punishing and punishing the female anatomy that remains.

When O fucking WHEN will women STOP punishing themselves for the fucking crimes committed against them and their bodies by sick fucking MEN and the sick fucking patriarchal systems that continue to keep this sick FEMALE HATRED going!!!

dirt-embracing the women of the world, even those like Angel, whose girl child perhaps needs it most.

Rachel Maddow and the Big "butch" LIE!

I do not know whether Maddow identifies as Butch (or some variation thereof) or not, I do know however when she was voted and listed by some "queer" morons as the "Top Butch of 2009" she didnt deny being it or set the record straight that she wasn't Butch. Even if she has never identified as Butch in all her born days (and I seriously doubt she has), because she was on this "top 100 'butch' list", general pop culture society (including general lesbians now "ignorantly believe Maddow "butch"!

A few choice pics of the "top 'butch' of 2009"...

This is the nonsense, the fucking garbage that furthers and fuels Butch Invisibility, which furthers and fuels Butch Shame which furthers and fuels Butch body dysphoria and Butch sexual shame (stoneness). Butch women, I speak to you, please speak out when you hear someone labeled Butch who isnt, set the record straight. You do not have to be on some random news program to be worthy of representing Butch, you merely have to BE Butch! So many many many sad pathetic (queer) peoples have (and continue) colonizing our identity, something they wish they could be, something we ARE, something its about fucking time WE stand up proudly and represent!

dirt-setting the fucking record straight!

The Truth about Lesbians and Transmen (FTM)

Trans(men) and lesbians, another area that has been shrouded in trans shadows and darkness for far too long, so in my customary fashion I will cast some light onto the shadows and some sun into the darkness. I'll begin with the simple question, then move on from there.

Do lesbians date trans(men)? The simple truth is there is no simple truth but the simple answer is a resounding NO! I'm going to for a moment brush with a few broad strokes, but any lesbian even those who may just be coming out, if you've been to a lesbian only bar just once this will be completely transparent. So what or rather whom I will broad stroke are the major categories of lesbians and their relations (if any) with trans(men).

Let's begin with our garden variety Lipstick Lesbian...the lipstick lesbian for purposes of clarity is the stereotypical feminine lesbian who easily "passes" in straight society. Lipstick lesbians are also attracted to other lipstick lesbians and the occasional classy andro dyke. They tend to mingle only with those who fall into their group type and generally speaking despise the Femme/Butch community, in fact most will make no bones about how "repulsive" they find Butch lesbians as well as how horrified they are that Femmes find Butch women attractive. So will/do Lipstick Lesbians

date/relate with

trans(men)? Obsofuckinglutely not!

Since I mentioned the Andro Dyke above, lets go with her next...the Andro Dyke is called as such because she has or plays with an androgynous appearance. Meaning, while stereotypical feminine by nature, she also usually has a sporty nature about her as well. Because she isnt rejected or invisible in ways Butch or butch persuasioned lesbians are, she is more comfortable in her skin which creates an air of confidence that works well with her androgynous sometimes glam look. Andro dykes tend to date within their own andro group, but will sometimes partner will lipstick lesbians. Will/do andro dykes

partner with
trans(men)? Not in a million years!

Okay lets move on to the last largest group of lesbians who help make up the lesbian community, your softball or tweener dyke. The tweener dyke is just that, located somewhere between lipstick/Femme and Butch. Unlike lipstick/Femme lesbians these lesbians usually do not pass as straight and unlike Butch lesbians they rarely pass as male. Generally speaking they make up largest group of lesbian women world wide, they also make up the largest group of women who transition. I know many believe Butch lesbian are the only women transitioning, but thats because 1) Butches have and remain ignorantly viewed as some form of male (at least by those who do not know Butch women) and 2) because many tweener dykes have co-opted the "butch" label so that when these women transition they do so as (in name only) "butches" or "stone butches".
 Now will/do softball/tweener lesbians

date trans(men)?

The answer is both no and yes. No they do not as tweener lesbians, but a huge yes once they transition (The "T" begins altering their brains), along with also having sex with gay men after transition. As tweener lesbians generally couple with each other, when one tweener partner transitions very often the other partner will soon follow. The majority of trans(male) couples that dominate the ftM community were once tweener lesbians.

Next up the Femme lesbians...In a nutshell Femme lesbians are seemingly, visually at least, stereotypical feminine lesbians. What separates them from lipstick lesbians? Femme lesbians are primarily attracted to Butch lesbians. They desire butch energy, tough butch exteriors that fight against societal female norms coupled with the female sensitivity, female understanding, female intimacy and female bodies Butch women posses. Do Femme lesbians
date trans(men)?

The simple answer is a big fat NO! But because some insecure self hating Butch women do transition, the true answer is slightly more complicated. In general a Femme lesbian will not date a trans(man) who may hit on her while trespassing in lesbian spaces. Femmes are lesbians after all, they desire women's bodies as much as any other lesbian and they KNOW once they have a Butch naked, she is ALL woman. Now there are Femmes who have been in termed relationships with Butch women and the Butch announce at some point she's going to transition. What usually happens in these case is this, the Femme compassionately listens to the Butch's pleads and assurances that nothing will really change, they'll be the same person on the inside that the Femme fell in love with (conveniently ignoring the outside the Femme fell in love with). The Femme loving this person and wanting this person to be happy will stay in the relationship. Providing the Butch doesn't have their breast hacked off within the first few months on "T", the Femme will stay trying to hold onto the woman they once knew/fell in love with, but around the 5 or 6th month on "T" when physically and mentally the Butch is clearly no longer the person (let alone the woman) that they once were and sooner if they no longer have breast, the Femme will leave.

And last but certainly not least, the Butch lesbian. Butch lesbians are butch women who primarily partner with Femme lesbians. Do Butch lesbians

trans(men)? Never comes the day!

So the short of it is, through circumstance some lesbians may find themselves in relationships with trans(men) before and slightly after they transition, but lesbians of all varieties do no seek trans(men) to partner with nor stay when a partner tranistions. There is a reason we're lesbian after all, and this is because we find women/womens bodies/womens minds irresistible. (and I do have a certain Femme in mind as I write this)


Missing Person Kristin Snyder: Lost in a Sea of Myths Pt 2

The next part in our forensic postmortem of the mockumentary The Lost Women of NXIVM will consist of dissecting the major proponents surrou...