The TRUTH about Testosterone effects and Transmen (ftM)

The TRUTH about Testosterone effects on Transmen/FTM (a series)

Due to underwhelming and overwhelming information on testosterone dangers in trans female subjects today and the high numbers of lesbian youth (being influenced to transition/being pressured to transition/being forcibly transitioned by an authority figure), I'm going to do a series of posts on changes from (high dosing) testosterone in females, all of which I'll later locate in full on a future post.

In female transition at this point in time, there is a general (standard) outline/timeline/possible issues of the effects of testosterone therapy on the female (brain) body (short term). These standards are used by general practitioners who may have never served a transgender patient or who've served hundreds. These standards are shared among GPs, endocrinologists, psychologists, therapists, gender specialists, academic etc. These standards are then shared by mental/medical professionals with female clients seeking transition or parents seeking to transition a child (or supposed to be shared).

These standards have come to be standards based on a combination of self reporting and various medical studies involving females treated with testosterone for GID/GD (gender identity disorder/gender dysphoria). Testosterone is the hormone that will chemically construct the female patient into her new transgender mind/body/life. So long as testosterone is maintained throughout the course of the female patient's lifetime, her mind/body will remain in an ongoing transitional state, with her natural brain/body fighting for control.

Females seeking transition or parents transitioning a female child/teen can expect to find a general outline of testosterone induced changes on (rarely in) the female brain/body. There is a perceived notion of changes based a basic/intimate knowledge of male bodies (as a comparison) as well as knowledge gleaned from already transitioned females in the form of friends/online acquaintances, online blogs/vlogs-videos of trans females.

This series of posts will remove perceived changes, call into serious question (when required) self reporting and place a magnifying glass on some of the more cited medical studies/journals used to sell transgender hormones as safe to patients, medical practitioners, psychologists, therapists, gender specialists and the general public.

Covered/dissected in the Testosterone Changes and Dangers in Female Transitioning will be as follows:
  • Mood/mental changes
  • Hair changes-head to toe
  • Body odor
  • Epidermis (skin) changes including acne
  • Voice changes (thicker vocal folds)
  • Breast changes
  • Vaginal/clitoris changes-including menstruation (periods)
  • Appetite/weight gain changes
  • Virilization of face/body-reordering of body fat/increase in visceral fat
  • Sex drive changes
  • Romantic attraction changes (not to be confused with core sexual orientation)
  • Aromatization of high testosterone dosage (on various organs)
  • Blood changes  
  • Endocrine system changes
  • Ovarian changes
  • Uterine/endometrium changes
  • Liver/pancreas changes
  • Heart/cardiovascular change

Dirt's Feminst and Radical Feminist Reading List

Betty Friedan was an American feminist writer who most notably was responsible for the must read Feminine Mystique(1963)

The problem lay buried, unspoken, for many years in the minds of American women. It was a strange stirring, a sense of dissatisfaction, a yearning that women suffered in the middle of the twentieth century in the United States. Each suburban wife struggled with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night--she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question--"Is this all?"

It is no longer possible today to blame the problem on loss of femininity: to say that education and independence and equality with men have made American women unfeminine. I have heard so many women try to deny this dissatisfied voice within themselves because it does not fit the pretty picture of femininity the experts have given them. I think, in fact, that this is the first clue to the mystery; the problem cannot be understood in the generally accepted terms by which scientists have studied women, doctors have treated them, counselors have advised them, and writers have written about them. Women who suffer this problem, in whom this voice is stirring, have lived their whole lives in the pursuit of feminine fulfillment. 

I think the experts in a great many fields have been holding pieces of that truth under their microscopes for a long time without realizing it. I found pieces of it in certain new research and theoretical developments in psychological, social and biological science whose implications for women seem never to have been examined. I found many clues by talking to suburban doctors, gynecologists, obstetricians, child-guidance clinicians, pediatricians, high-school guidance counselors, college professors, marriage counselors, psychiatrists and ministers-questioning them not on their theories, but on their actual experience in treating American women. I became aware of a growing body of evidence, much of which has not been reported publicly because it does not fit current modes of thought about women--evidence which throws into question the standards of feminine normality, feminine adjustment, feminine fulfillment, and feminine maturity by which most women are still trying to live.


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Dirt's Feminist and Radical Feminist Reading Suggestions

I've been asked more times than I can count what sort of feminist writings influence/d and/or inspire/d me, so I've decided on days I am still in the process of writing a post or haven't time to write a post I would try and fill that week with feminist works I feel are important. I begin this in no particular order of importance and add I do not necessarily agree with every single work or belief of every single woman that I will post about here, it does however mean that there were/are valuable works created by these women that surely are a benefit to all us women. Let me also say, the works posted are equally relevant to the state of women in all societies, all colors, all classes all religions today as when they were first written.

Emma Goldman-"anarchist known for her political activism, writing and speeches. She played a pivotal role in the development of anarchist political philosophy in North America and Europe in the first half of the twentieth century".

From her famous essay The Tragedy of Women's Emancipation: (1906)

Emancipation should make it possible for woman to be human in the truest sense.  Everything within her that craves assertion and activity should reach its fullest expression; all artificial barriers should be broken, and the road towards greater freedom cleared of every trace of centuries of submission and slavery.

Emancipation has brought woman economic equality with man; that is, she can choose her own profession and trade; but as her past and present physical training has not equipped her with the necessary strength to compete with man, she is often compelled to exhaust all her energy, use up her vitality, and strain every nerve in order to reach the market value.  Very few ever succeed, for it is a fact that women teachers, doctors, lawyers, architects, and engineers are neither met with the same confidence as their male colleagues, nor receive equal remuneration.  And those that do reach that enticing equality, generally do so at the expense of their physical and psychical well-being.  As to the great mass of working girls and women, how much independence is gained if the narrowness and lack of freedom of the home is exchanged for the narrowness and lack of freedom of the factory, sweat-shop, department store, or office?  In addition is the burden which is laid on many women of looking after a "home, sweet home"--cold, dreary, disorderly, uninviting--after a day's hard work.  Glorious independence!  No wonder that hundreds of girls are willing to accept the first offer of marriage, sick and tired of their "independence" behind the counter, at the sewing or typewriting machine.

A rich intellect and a fine soul are usually considered necessary attributes of a deep and beautiful personality.  In the case of the modern woman, these attributes serve as a hindrance to the complete assertion of her being.  For over a hundred years the old form of marriage, based on the Bible, "till death doth part," has been denounced as an institution that stands for the sovereignty of the man over the woman, of her complete submission to his whims and commands, and absolute dependence on his name and support.  Time and again it has been conclusively proved that the old matrimonial relation restricted woman to the function of a man's servant and the bearer of his children.  And yet we find many emancipated women who prefer marriage, with all its deficiencies, to the narrowness of an unmarried life; narrow and unendurable because of the chains of moral and social prejudice that cramp and bind her nature. 

Salvation lies in an energetic march onward towards a brighter and clearer future.  We are in need of unhampered growth out of old traditions and habits.  The movement for woman's emancipation has so far made but the first step in that direction.  It is to be hoped that it will gather strength to make another.  The right to vote, or equal civil rights, may be good demands, but true emancipation begins neither at the polls nor in courts.  It begins in woman's soul.



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Transgenderism-The more things change the more things stay the same

Read this recently on an ftMISOGYNYIST chat list regarding someone's sci-fantasy of a world where gender is non existent. Didn't Roddenberry cover that on an episode from the original Star Trek?

Joking aside, this is something (I want a society that doesn't give gender so much importance and rigidity) that has been heard from queer theorist, trans and trans apologists for the last 20+ years. It coincides nicely with the "fluidity" that this same group extols at every opportunity and then some.

I'm not sure if it is the absolute depth of disordered thinking as well as its gravitational pull towards those near the insanity sphere, but the Time Square Sleaze Sister's "no sense makes sense" doesn't work in reality. It may be wonderful over there in la-la-land and make-believe world, but in reality its a total fucking bust! One cannot (although they do) preach "fluidity", "diversity" and the expansion of "rigid" gender roles AND conform to strict gender roles/norms at the same time, that's pure delusion!

There is nothing "fluid" or "diverse" about a female who shoots up "T", binds/or has her breast hacked off, packs, changes her pronoun usage to reflect he-ness instead of she-ness, legally changes her name to a name society associates strictly with males along with having her legal ID F gender marker changed to M.This person can and will never be truly male, but to the world that sees this manufactured masculinized genetic female, male is what is perceived AND what is desired in perception by said genetic female.There is nothing ground breaking or earth shattering there, nothing "queer" or "fluid" and absolutely nothing breaking "rigid" gender roles for women/society. This is abidance, this is conformity, this is compliance, this is weakness, this isnt even gender bending, this is societal submission to the core!

Butch women both young and old continue breaking female gender norms and expanding the narrow notions of what women are and what women can be, because we actively rebel against being bound and gagged by patriarchy's many female gender restraints. That is not to say it is a piece of cake life, it can be a difficult life and every Butch has both internal and externals scars to show for it. The scars only our lovers see, the scars from beatings aimed at trying to beat our butchness out of us, scars from rapes aimed at brutalizing our butchness out of us, shame aimed at shaming our butchness out of us. These scars may hurt, yes, but we don them proudly because for a society to go to all that trouble to shame us, humiliate us, beat us, rape us, medically try and eradicate us, that says more about our Butch power, our Butch strength and the sheer threat of our butchness than we could ever possibly express!

Butch women, we do not merely claim to break all the rules, we live breaking all the fucking rules, every day!

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Hairdressers and Barbers act as gender police

In case you missed it, FA posted an interesting post/question to her new Butch Women's Adoration Club blog, check it out and let her know your barber/salon experience!


The Trans Community-I want my cake and I want YOU to pay for it and watch ME eat it!

I post this in conjunction with the last post I made, regarding WPATH's urging the world wide medical community to remove (delist) trannyism (GID/GI) from the DSM so that it is no longer classified as a "disorder" and would instead be classified similarly to any woman say who desires breast implants or any older person seeking a face lift or anyone wanting a tummy-tuck or lipo etc.

Now here's the really interesting thing, last year Alberta did just that, they "delisted" GID/GI as a mental illness. And since it is no longer classified as a mental illness (which the trans community/WPATH says it isnt) the costly multitudinous "surgeries" and the lifetime supply of hormone maintenance will not be covered by national health care saving that province alone an estimated SEVEN HUNDRED THOUSAND dollars a year! Money that can clearly be redirected for those who truly are mentally or physically ill, since again according to the "trans" community/WPATH, they are not.

So whats the kicker dirt, you are thinking? The kicker is the "trans" community/WPATH is demanding Alberta's health care system continue to pay for "trans surgeries" and the lifetime supply of drugs they claim to require! And there is NO reason to believe that if/when GID/GI is removed from the DSM which currently classifies it as a mental illness, that the "trans" community/WPATH wont expect national health services world wide and medical insurances companies word wide to pay their cosmetic bills both for "surgeries" and life long drug maintenance. Make no bones about it, this IS your classic I WANT MY CAKE AND WANNA EAT IT TOO bullshit!

If GID/GI is not an illness then there isnt ANY reason that like other cosmetic surgery and/or drug maintenance treatments such as botox, should be paid for by tax dollars. That is a personal choice and should remain personal using their own monies, there are enough strains and dregs bogging down all our countries medical systems they do not need to be further hampered with demands for "treatments" for those who arent according to them, actually ill!


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WPATH and the Gender Variant

Recently WPATH  issued  the above note desiring the "depsychopathologisation of gender variance" which in their narrow (white) hetero-patriarchal assessment are those males and females who do not and have not conformed to the naturalness of their born gender as outlined and policed by (white) hetero-patriarchy. WPATH would like GID/GI(gender incongruence) to be stricken from the DSM in much the same way homosexuality/lesbianism has been removed from the DSM in 1973/1986 as a pathological condition. While I do not wholly disagree with there desire, the removal of GID/GI would put a stop to the wasted funds of medical insurance companies and countries with national health benefits from utilizing tax dollars to foot cosmetic bills, thereby halting a middling to high percentage of trans drugging and cosmetic mutilations due to the high cost of such "treatments", making it unaffordable to many. In turn it is likely the medical community would seek alternative (mental) treatments to help those suffering from their brand of body dysphoria. I disagree that GID/GI is not a mental disorder, a disorder that clearly resides in the mind of a healthy body. But if its removal halts the current barbaric "treatment" of "transitioners" then I'm all for it!

What does trouble me though is WPATH's (and the likes thereof) application of the term "gender variant", a term the conformity-at-all-cost Queer theorist gave birth to, which now has become a common catch phase/badge of honor in and among Femme/Butch spaces with regards to Butch/butch women. This is the small minded thinking that first viewed homosexuality/lesbianism as a mental illness, a thing the likes of the Havelock Ellis's or Krafft-Ebing's ignorantly believed that they were doing the gay/lesbian peoples a favour by explaining to hetero-patriarchy that gays and lesbians couldnt help it that they were gay, they were born that way, i.e. defective and should be pitied rather than ridiculed.

And what exactly is a "gender variant" female? Here are some examples:

  •  If you prefer a short doo? YOU might be a GV!
  • If you shop for clothes in the men's section due to the lack of choice in the ladies? YOU might be a GV!
  • If you played/enjoyed games/sports labeled by hetero-patriarchy as "unfit for girls"? YOU might be a GV!
  • If you played with/wanted toys found in the boys area? YOU might be a GV!
  • If you do not lovingly embrace/enjoy your monthly period? YOU might be a GV!
  • If you believe you deserve all the fucking perks and privileges enjoyed by men? YOU might be a GV!
  • If you are a natural whiz at math, map reading and have great spacial skills? YOU might be a GV!
  • If you are not wholly fulfilled by domestic chores??? YOU might be a GV!
  • If you have no inclination to give birth? YOU might be a GV!
  • If you prefer blues to pinks? YOU might be a GV!
  • If you believe that doing the same job as a man you should earn the same amount of money? YOU might be a GV!
  • If you enjoy fucking your g/f with a strap-on? YOU might be a GV!
  • If you get pissed off when some pig male sexually objectifies you with his male gaze? YOU might be a GV!
If you answered in the positive to 5 or more of these, you ARE a GV!

If you are a woman whose every breath challenges and works to expand  the gender jacket WPATH and the likes are desperately trying to fit you with, there is good news because WPATH is telling the medical world that even though you are a freak of fucking mans natural order it isnt your fault and you shouldn't be held accountable for your unnatural abhorrence's, you can easily conform (become normal) through the trannification process rather than choose to live an abominating life that expands what it means to be a female and upsets the natural hetero-patriarchal balance that has taken thousands of years for straight white men to create!

There is an infinite number of ways in which to be a woman and not a single one of them  is any less womanly than the other, such as my being a Butch lesbian woman in no way indicates that how I do woman is less than or "wrong". It does mean however that because I challenge the MALE created confines of the MALE idea of woman that I am brave enough and strong enough to defy first and challenge second the female gender jacket MEN have stitched together for all women to wear. This makes me a woman warrior, NOT a "gender variant" freak who should be pitied!


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Do I deceive?

I love your skins texture, smooth or wrinkled, in youth or in age. The softness that envelops your body's entirety, the softness the gods would trade their omnipotence for, the softness the finest clothes made from the finest materials sewn together with the finest threads pale miserably with, against your softness. The softness only a woman could create and only a woman own. Do I deceive believing your lesbian skin the softest of all?

I love your hair. Hair hanging down the whole of your back, inches from your butt, hair at your shoulders coiffed just so, hair short with spikes or close cropped to your pretty head, white. Hair with bangs, hair without, blonde hair, blue, red, black, green or pink. I love your hair. Do I deceive believing your lesbian hair the most perfect of all?

I love your mouth, whether covered in pinks or reds or plain, I love your mouth. Your bottom heavy lower lip, the lip you bite when nervous or in anticipation of my lips or hands, the lips that kiss away fevers, the lips making me believe, the lips that quiver when you're hurt, pouty lips, large lips, small or thin, lips that mumble my name in the dark, lips murmuring I love you, the lips that give the loveliest gift of all. The same gift my lips give back to you, a together gift, a lesbian gift only lesbians know. After your lips have teased and tasted the crux of my being and my lips have sampled and savored yours, we kiss giving each of us back to each other in mouthfuls. Only you give me, me. Do I deceive your lesbians lips hold me on their shores?


My mother may have given me life, but your lesbian lips give me in returns, the gift of me.


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Narrow gendered thinking lends itself nicely to GID

This is the backwoods thinking that perpetuates the ignorant notions that there are only very narrow ways in which to be a female (or male for that matter). Once upon a time this narrow nonsense robbed females of reaching (even imagining) their full potentials, these days it is literally robbing females of being females.

Hetero-patriarchy has colluded with the hetero-pat-medical establishment that is hacking, carving and mutilating females into passing "male" eunuchs in order to maintain the narrow gendered status quo hetero-patriarchy has diligently worked centuries contriving for females. The GID (gender identity disorder) is being slapped onto younger and younger females, some still in fucking diapers! And once labeled "transgendered" because the female child may prefer toy cars to dolly's, jeans to dresses or the outdoors to helping mom bake cookies in the kitchen, the life (the FULL life) that that female child was naive enough to believe was her natural right as a human first, gets the rug pulled clean out from beneath her tiny feet where a few short years later she's flat on her back on a gurney having her natural, normal, beautiful breast exterminated from her then cremated like yesterdays refuse!

For all the fucking lip service the "queer/trans" machine pays to the almighty "fluid" gods, the hetero-patriarchal straight-gender-jacket they all wear betrays each and every one of them.

Rend the seams of female till she fits you like a glove!
Wear her well, do her right, she deserves all your love!


Come join The Butch Women's Adoration Club

The lovely Femme Avenger has begun her own blog for Butch women and the women that love them. Her first post thus reads:

 * Are you sick of the constant barrage of mistreatment towards 'Butch' and 'butch' women within our communities (GLBTQ, Butch/Femme) and from the general community, the medical community and every other community and scholarship that shames or renders invisible Butch and butch women, their lives, their desires, their bodies and their lived experiences?
* Are you sick of having to attach the word "woman" to the end of Butch or butch in order to differentiate between the myriad of other ‘genderqueer’ identities colonizing butch identity?
* Are you sick and tired of having to listen to appropriations of male pronouns, names, behaviours and eroticising male bodies or neutralized/neutered female bodies as the ideal or superior embodiment of Butch and butch?
* Are you disgusted that it is ‘ok’ to ask a Butch or butch woman ‘when are you going to transition’?
* Are you disgusted by the behaviour of self identified 'queer femme' types that openly say "yuck" to the idea of sexually pleasuring/touching/licking/sucking Butch and butch women's bodies and shame Butch and butch women into a 'stone' sexuality?
* Are you dying to find all the chest binders, gather them in a huge pile and burn them to dust?
* Do you want to see Gender Identity Disorder (GID) removed from the DSM?
* Are you sick of all the terminologies such as "gender variant", "gender queer", "gender non-conformist", "female masculinity" used to erase the woman/the female and attempt to explain Butch and butch as a location on the journey to transgender/FTM?
* Are you sick of all the academic career queers writing Butch women out of the feminist and history books?
* Are you someone that loves Butch or butch women; that lives to love them, their bodies, their hot female essence and their ‘womanly swagger’?

If you are a Butch or butch woman, or this sounds like you (i.e., a Femme Lesbian, butch-on-butch, butch loving dyke, or Butch/butch lovin feminist sister), then welcome.

If devoted/committed to the preservation of Butch/butch girls/women then please join here.

Butch pride
Butch power


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Attention Aussie and/or New Zealand Butch Women

Because of a bold workshop on Butch Erasure created/given by a brave Femme at a recent Feminist Conference in Australia, a few of the Butch women who had attended were so inspired they thought to put together a Butch woman anthology of the Butch woman experience and are calling for submissions.

Their Facebook page can be found here with pertinent info.

All other Butches; as you can see we are not alone. Butches across the world are facing the same issues we all face created through Butch shame and Butch invisibility. The climate may currently be ugly and in some cases unrecognizable, it will remain so unless older Butch women represent our beautiful, strong and proud Butch woman's minds and bodies through writing, filming, videoing etc of our unique Butch experiences. Experiences that the Butch youth of today need to hear much more than ever so they do not fully develop the Butch shame that leads so often to sexual dysfunction (stone) at the least or worse, the misogynistic self hating "trans" disorder which in essence is about murdering the woman they are.

Be Butch
Be Proud
Be Woman

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ftM reinforces binary and other comments

A comment from an ftM I received last night.

Some ftM googles, as you can see "ftm ladies man" (as if) and doesn't like what they find when they get my blog. The shear misogyny in these comments is both frightening and loathsome and quite clear why this person trannified to begin with. This person hates women, lesbians and especially Butch lesbians as their comments indicate. Their stressing their "hetero-ness" indicates like most ftMYSOGINIST that their natural lesbianism along with their femaleness has to been altered with injection after injection of "T". I would wager this person has/is soliciting bio male sex partners on the sly from gay personals/craigs list. I would also wager their Butch hatred stems from their being a tweener dyke like most ftMISOGYNYST were, and like the tweeners who trannify they are jealous of Butch butchness as well as the beautiful Femmes who desire us. Foolishly soooooo many of these sad and confused tweener lesbians believe through "T" they can attain some measure of Butch-hood, but as we know and they prove, Butches are born of our mothers, not of a needle.

But I dont post this to simply dismantle this individual ftMISOGYNYST's character, but to illustrate just what us Butches, both young, middle aged and older are dealing with. This is sadly the climate Butch women are currently having to navigate within our own Femme-Butch communities, both online and off. The very thing (our femaleness) that makes us the Butch women that we are and the butchness that we love and take pride in is being threatened in our very own communities, by those claiming to "know", "understand" and "support" us!!!! There is NOTHING more unique and beautiful than a Butch woman, in mind, body and spirit!

Especially those over 35 Butch women who have walked across fire for the entirety of their lives, and to see finally them make it across, placing one foot into the cool sand, then another, then the beautiful peacefulness that spreads across their being. Peaceful because they finally understand and appreciate their unique butch qualities, qualities that lie solely in the female mind as well as the supreme female body! This is why if you are a Butch or love a Butch it is essential to speak out whenever Butch is assumed, claimed, ID'd as anything but female/woman! Our butchness is no more male than the pussy that lies between our legs, it is like our pussy's, uniquely female and uniquely powerful, it informs our walk, our talk, our swagger, our energy and their aint NOTHING male or manly about it! 

dirt-a couldnt be prouder if I tried Butch Woman!

ps another comment I found interesting and equally revealing regarding our Femme-Butch spaces:

ftMYSOGYNIST continue utilizing our identities and our spaces because underneath the hairy body and bald head, they are what they began as, scared little girls who know as well as the rest of us, the patriarchal world is no place for women.

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Missing Person Kristin Snyder: Lost in a Sea of Myths Pt 2

The next part in our forensic postmortem of the mockumentary The Lost Women of NXIVM will consist of dissecting the major proponents surrou...