The Conservation and Preservation of Butch-Femme Spaces

A comment to an old post I received earlier this week.

My smart, beautiful, devoted partner and I are committed to the reclamation of true Femme-Butch spaces, but we cannot do this alone. If you are a Butch lesbian or a Femme lesbian (single or coupled) and are feeling cut off, silenced, and dismissed within spaces claiming Femme/Butch identity/experience, if what you are seeing and hearing in these spaces is unrecognizable to your Butch or Femme natures, if any persons in these spaces uses male pronouns and masculine terms as descriptors, you are not in true Femme-Butch lesbian spaces. What you have stumbled into instead are spaces that have been co-opted by privileged "queers" sullying OUR identities and where "queer politics" are being disseminated in OUR good names!

But rest assured as female hating and Butch/Femme-phobic as these forums, communities, clubs, conferences etc are, the times they are a changin! We are finding each other, we are grassroots building, we are becoming more and more powerful in our quest for legitimate Femme/Butch spaces by raising our voices as individuals and together. I've seen in the space of a year, a spark create a fire, if each Femme and Butch fan that fire as my partner and I are we can blaze these ill queer villages to cinder and like a phoenix it will be us rising from the ashes. Our wings may get singed in the process yes, but together nothing can hold us from the sky!



  1. You two are definitely leading the way. I'm so glad I stumbled on this blog and found you both b/c I was seriously confused (as you know!). I hope to see more in the future from FA here or the other blog about femme related issues too.

  2. Thanks DD,

    So happy to have come across you too, I was seriously concerned and confused also and was ready to turn my back completely on B/F after years of BS and feeling like I no longer belong. We have to fight this BS and assert ourselves as Butch/Femme lesbians across the world and reclaim our identities and our communities.

    *Hugs* & Femme Solidarity

    FA x

  3. FA --

    I was FED UP and ready to "leave." I was going to drop the Femme label (in any public spaces) b/c I didn't want to be associated with bi / pansexual / transensual and all that other stuff that is going on elsewhere. I didn't want it to be taken as a sign that I date someone other than *women* (like transguys, etc). In fact, I found out about this blog from an old post on Curve (which I started posting too after I got fed up with

    I was really caught up in that whole "don't use the word lesbian, it's passe, we're QUEER FEMMES" until Mommy Dirt (LOL) set me straight (hee) on that one. :D

    Femme Solidarity!!!

    (I hope you write here or elsewhere on Femme Invisibility as a "from the viewpoint" compliment to Dirt's posts on it...)


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