The Maudes-Portrait of a STRAIGHTBIAN

Being an online public sorta (dare I say controversial) figurehead, in running/maintaining a long standing blog, I am exposed to a good deal of people/people types. In the STRAIGHTBIAN series/posts that both Mrs Dirt and I have written/collaborated, there is a type we (despite both of us having met online/realtime a good many in our respective lives) have neglected to mention/describe-The Maudes. Maudes are Women (always heterosexual) who frolicked in the fields of early 70's Women's Lib/Radical (lesbian) Feminism. These bra burning RadFems believed they were changing the world for Women everywhere by squatting over hand mirrors together as they searched for extraterrestrial life....errr I mean their cervix.
We call them Maudes because of their close resemblance (physically/temperament and personality) to the 70's TV character Maude Findlay. The lyrics to the Maude theme song adequately describe The Maudes as well it does Maude herself:

Lady Godiva was a freedom rider,
she didn't care if the whole world looked.
Joan of Arc, with the lord to guide her,
she was a sister who really cooked.
Isadora was a first bra burner
Aint' ya glad she showed up?
And when the country was falling apart
Betsy Ross got it all sewed up
And then there's Maude
And then there's Maude
And then there's Maude

And then there's that uncompromisin' enterprisin' anything but traqulizin' Right on Maude!!! 

The song uses strong historical Female archetypes who in some way trail blazed for future Women, and then there's Maude! The Maudes however are not Joan of Arc's or Isadora Dunkin's, they were once over the top passionate about Women voting/Women construction workers, Women's conscious raising groups, Women's Grass roots, Women's music, Women's land, Women CEO's or Women Presidents, but born with Hetero Female biology, their passion exceeded their limits. The lesbian separatist utopia they so dreamed, never materialized beyond flimsy plans, loads of back patting/emotional reassurances, eschewing femininity by employing poor grooming habits, short hair and plenty O flannel shirts (in other words an insulting Heterosexual version of Dyke).

Maudes are always middle or upper middle class, usually college educated and often live within some ivory tower or other, if not professing Radical Feminist ignorance to unsuspecting college youths, they will work as a college librarian or college clerk. Their Hetero/sexuality is usually tangled with either early sexual abuses or disinterest/discomfort with perceived male dominance (sexual or otherwise), meaning they want to run-the-fuck/relationship yet fear doing so in male/female relationships. They believe they want some egalitarian relationship which Radical Feminism ensures can ONLY happen between Women-ie in order to have equality in their personal life they must CHOOSE to be a Lesbian. So along with eschewing their femininity, they also eschewed all common sense, thereby eschewing their own selves.

Most Maudes today are more passion-less, often bitter and thoroughly disappointed in where their youthful exuberance has went.  And worse, angry because where Women's Lib did open some doors for future Women, young Women today use their equality more to sport shorter skirts and higher high heels and fuck on the first date, than they do to advance their careers or pay tribute to The Maudes (who sacrificed so much!), that is IF they even know of any worth paying tribute to. The invisibility young Maudes claimed to have once so desperately craved (fuck the male gaze), are now dourer because they have it.

Most Maudes chose to be childless (that'll teach patriarchy!), so now starring old age in the face (many today are in their early to mid 60's), they are bitter, sad and afraid. The world they thought they were going to change via Radical Feminism, changed while they stood still. And if they hadnt with hetero privilege intact co-opted Lesbian, I might even feel sorry for them, might.



  1. "Insulting Heterosexual version of Dyke" - PRECISELY!!!

  2. I was wondering how you feel about seperatism in general? I know often the history of the women who were involved were questionable and thats why many failed and it seems there were massive inequalities. But conceptually do you have any opinion on female exclusive spaces or separatism?
    Also do you have any opinion about the validity of patriarchy/oppression via patriarchy? Or is it a creation of radfems/hetwomen? Or just fake entirely?
    I have no concrete opinion on it and I've just been wonderinf what you think. Idk if you wrote abouy this in the past. Thanks

    1. Every group/minority or culture should have the right to have their own personal spaces to be themselves/share/bond etc. Dykes obviously have always relied on just that, creating our own enclaves throughout the world.

      Separatism is a big put your head in the sand and pretend the world we dislike doesnt exist, only doing it with others with their heads in sand. It changes nothing. Its stereotypical of Het Women, passive.

      Can groups/minorities be oppressed? Fuck yeah they can! But that oppression isnt limited to the male sex, females oppress with equal relish, we only have to look at Lesbian History to know that. Oh wait what Lesbian History? Yeah, the Lesbian History thats been defined, DICKtated and dominated by Het Women.

      Are there male systems of power? Of course. But MRAs and patriarchy isnt responsible for Het Womens non interest in math/science anymore than its responsible for bringing itself into the world. If you're a Het Female who doesnt like how males have shaped the world, simply stop bringing males into it. And as the world is today with an equal amount of males, Het Women who dislike their world need to take an assertive training course or 50 and be decisive and straight forward. Bitching about sexism or misogyny or worse baiting males online for attention (boy/girl games) isnt going to do much in the way of Feminist change. Feminism, like Patriarchy are myths constructed by unhappy Het Women too submerged in their own Het biology to first decide what to change and then take the extra step and execute it!

      Dykes are born and raised in the same "patriarchal" world, men are more our peers than our oppressors, biology matters.


    2. It's no surprise that I agree with Dirt on her reply above. On Twitter, I often see "The Patriarchy" being used as a convenient catch-all excuse to blame men/alleged "MRAs" for absolutely everything and to absolve females of all personal responsibility whatsoever. I am not saying that sexism/misogyny/oppression don't exist, because they do, but the only way to combat ANY problem is through taking action, not by blaming/whining/complaining.

  3. Hello! Thanks for your replies! I've been soo curious what you think so thank you so much for answering. What you said definitely made me chuckle reading along. I definitely dont like how feminism manipulates women and lesbians in ways that dont make sense and are unhealthy. I recently came across a supposed radical feminist that was such a textbook dysfunctional het, Every. single. video. was about mtfs and mras and was full of rage and long rants. Not a single vid was any other issue women deal with.

    The only thing I kind of "disagree" with or maybe I just frame it differently was what you said about separatists. Not to say that it also hasn't served as something illogical in the past or too mixed with the wrong women or wrong ideas but I kind of see it as an extension of female exclusive or lesbian exclusive space. It'd be wrong to position it as strategic in a political sense but I more so see it as a place that can nurture lesbian exclusive spaces into something bigger. Mainly that being a longer standing community that you can intermix with or recharge with or recover with and also that is hugely important where lesbians can learn vital skills of knowing how to work with land, agriculture, construction,herbalism or whatever, like amongst our own. So in a sense it's passive but it's intent isn't for others but more for ourselves, peace, respite, healing, learning etc. Just the same how you said oppressed people have a right to their own autonomous spaces its like, how sometimes ethnicities or whoever they make their own community enclaves. Which I guess can be either urban or rural and both have their own benefits. I've always supported ____ exclusive spaces and it seems a problem when they're politicized, but i guess theres always pushback when people feel entitled to ____ people at all times and resist ___ exclusive spaces.
    Even still all those lesbian exclusive/oriented spaces even in cities are all gone ;__;.

  4. Dirt, who we all know is an expert on everything lesbian, knows nothing about lesbian history. Mauds was the longest running lesbian bar in the history of the U.S. It opened in 1966 and closed in 1989. Thousands of lesbians used to visit this lesbian owned bar. It's part of lesbian history.

    As to Bea Arthur (Maude), her estate gave thousands of dollars to homeless shelters for LGBT youth. Arthur always supported lesbians even when no one else wanted them.

    The expert on lesbians, dirt and Mrs. dirt, know nothing whatsoever about lesbian history, and insult women who give thousands of dollars for homeless lesbian youth, and supported lesbians when no one else would.

    1. Incoherent, spoke like a true Heterosexual brained female. Sheesh.


    2. Oy vey. The air must be pretty thin in Maude's section of California.

  5. Could someone with critical thinking skills explain to me the purpose of this rambling disjointed article? A coherent article is supposed to center on a specific idea. What exactly is a "Straightbian"? Is dirt saying there is something wrong with heterosexual women? Bea Arthur never went out of her way to declare her sexual orientation one way or another, so why "Straightbian"? Is the use of this word meant as an insult to straight women of Beau's generation?

    Is this an attack on second wave feminists? I'm not claiming that second wave feminists were perfect, and the movement might have had some extreme women. Every movement has its fringe loonies. Bashing second wave feminists won't change the fact that this is the generation of women who gave us Title IX (equal access for female athletes), domestic violence shelters, equal pay, reproductive rights, Roe v. Wade, etc.

    This confuses me:

    "And if they hadnt with hetero privilege intact co-opted Lesbian, I might even feel sorry for them, might."

    Please be specific as to how Bea Arthur "with hetero privilege intact co-opted Lesbian". My grandmother used to watch Maude. How did my grandmother "with hetero privilege intact co-opted Lesbian"? Have grandmothers all over the U.S. who might have watched Maude co-opted lesbians because of their intact hetero privilege?

    "These bra burning RadFems believed they were changing the world for Women everywhere by squatting over hand mirrors together as they searched for extraterrestrial life....errr I mean their cervix."

    I don't believe Bea Arthur identified as a radical feminists, so why deliberately associate Arthur with radical feminists. Being experts on lesbians, one would think that dirt and Mrs. dirt would know something about female anatomy. Why would a lesbian, a woman who is supposed to honor female anatomy, insult women who want to teach women about their own bodies. Why would a lesbian ridicule women who want to know what their cervix looks like? Perhaps someone should inform the lesbian experts, dirt and Mrs. Dirt, that lesbians have a cervix, and like all parts of the female reproductive system, it needs to checked every once in awhile.

    1. Its only rambling to Het brained females hun.


    2. Good God. Maude's on a roll.

  6. "So along with eschewing their femininity, they also eschewed all common sense, thereby eschewing their own selves."

    Who is eschewing femininity? Did Maude eschew femininity? No one eschews femininity more than dirt. I have no problem with dirt eschewing the hell out of femininity. Clothes don't make the woman. Women can wear what ever they choose. I think what second wave feminists were saying is that women could wear whatever they wanted to wear.

    Is dirt saying that women who work in certain occupations should put on high heels? It's high heels and makeup for women in any occupation. Dowdy women who work in a library somewhere are "eschewing femininity" and should put on a slink dress for the office. If women want to wear slinky dresses and heels, I don't care. Dirt eschews femininity, but other women are Maude's if they don't.

    "Maudes are always middle or upper middle class"

    How does dirt know that all "Maudes" are middle or upper class? Did she do a poll?

    1. Biology doesnt lie Maude.


    2. Hi Anita Perry (AKA Anonymous October 31, 2017 at 5:05 PM): Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Dirt doesn't eschew femininity, Einstein. She even did a whole post on the topic that lesbians do NOT "eschew femininity" on 11/8/16. I would say go read it yourself, but it is highly doubtful you could actually understand the information, based on the complete drivel you have written here, on Facebook, and your comments in the past. If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch... Maude.

  7. What is wrong with being Maude? Is Maude supposed to be a stereotypical rad fem, second wave feminist type, frumpy old woman? A lot of people associate South Carolina with ignorant rednecks. Just because Saye got her degree from South Carolina doesn't automatically mean she is some kind of ignorant backwoods hillbilly. I'm not calling all people from the South rednecks.

    Dirt's foul mouth and incoherent rants are legend on the internet. As for Saye, someone with a degree from the University of South Carolina doesn't impress me. The real reason why Soul Collage doesn't want anything to do with Saye has nothing to do with homophobia.

    Saye wonders why Soul Collage doesn't want anything to do with her.
    This is incoherent. Comparing professional psychologists with Nazis.

    These professionals are not homophobic, and neither are the courageous women from 4th Wave Now. Dirt trashed talked the women at 4th Wave Now blog, calling them crazy straight women. Then, she forgets to take down all her links to their blog.

    Dirt is on record for calling women who she assumes are straight, “Miss STRAIGHTOTHENEXTDICK”, and then Saye says dirt doesn’t hate straight women. Dirt’s trash talking filthy mouth is legend. And, then Saye just can’t understand why Soul Collage dropped her.

    Dirt's filthy mouth and illogical rants gets the attention of people, and Saye rushes to do damage control. Dirt constantly bashes any woman who she thinks is a rad fem because all rad fems supposedly hate men, and then dirt says some crazy thing online about women should just stop giving birth to boys. Saye comes to the rescue.

  8. The instances where dirt used disgusting gutter language online are too numerous to list here.

    Saye is supposed to be a school psychologist, and we are supposed to believe that this is perfectly acceptable language. Dirt is an online bully with a vulgar trash mouth. Dirt's rants just keep getting more disgusting. Below is just one example of dirt's rants. And, Saye says it's no problem because dirt isn't 'Miss Manners'.

    “Her proof that Dykes are being duped into dick is a (clearly mentally screwed Het Trans Female) who now and I fucking quote IDENTIFIES as lesbian! Oh WOW! Yeah Mrs Dirt and I are so convinced by this we too are feeling pressured to dick lick! N O T!!!”

    “This comment by Miss STRAIGHTOTHENEXTDICK is her in vain attempt at proof she is a Lesbian by describing a litany of known STRAIGHTBIAN behaviours. Lesbian to her is about who you share your pussy with, not whats between your ears. Again, neither Mrs Dirt nor myself have ever said not diddling dick equals Dyke. Plenty O STRAIGHTBIANS have long term relationships with Women and Lesbians, but if you are N O T a Dyke in the womb, you are N O T a Dyke PERIOD!!!”

    Dirt insulting Heath Atom Russell, a detransitioning FTM, was just plain mean and offensive. Heath Atom Russell is a kind woman, and she is right when she says dirt is a bully. Heath Atom Russell knows dirt is foul mouth bully.

    According to lesbian expert Saye,

    “Behavior does not equal orientation. So: a woman can be with another woman for 50 years, but that does not necessarily mean she is a Lesbian.
    Conversely, a “later-in-life” Lesbian can marry a man and perhaps even stay married for years, but that doesn’t mean she is straight; because if a woman is truly a Lesbian, she was NEVER straight, no matter how long she was with a man.”

    A woman who has been in a long term romantic relationship with a female for 50 years is not a lesbian. This is illogical. This is what I think. Saye hasn’t been in that many relationships with women. In order to prove to herself that she really is a lesbian, she comes up with this nonsense about “behavior doesn’t equal orientation”. Females who choose to spend almost all their adult lives with men can magically become lesbian because “behavior does not equal orientation”.

    Soul Collage was right to dump Saye. I would go one step further. No school should ever employ Saye as a psychologist.

    As for dirt helping detransitioning women and teenage girls who get caught up in the trans craze, blogs like 4th Wave Now do a much better job, and they know more about GnRH analogues, hormones, etc. Dirt doesn't have the science background to understand what GnRH analogues are. Yes, dirt has put up a few good things, but dirt doesn't fully understand anything as far as GnRH analgoues, etc.

    Finally, I respect butches because I know they are being "transitioned" to near extinction. I don't respect butches who take great delight in being bullies.

    1. Hi Anonymous: November 1, 2017 at 4:15 PM, AKA Anita Perry:

      You really show your true colors with this comment. Sadly for you, your true colors are snarky, immature, petty, and unattractive.

      There's nothing wrong with being a Maude if someone is honest about being straight, but if someone claims to be a "lesbian" while being a Maude, they are a liar, a fraud, and a STRAIGHTBIAN. Duh.

      Sure, some (dumb) people might think that everyone from SC is an ignorant redneck hillbilly (or similar insults), but those people, like you, are just showing their own ignorance. To say/think something like that is just as uninformed and prejudiced as they think the so-called "rednecks" are that they are hoping to insult.

      Yes, I am a school psychologist, and surprise! I actually know/use curse words -- when I am not at work. In fact, when I think of you, Anita, a surprising number of curse words come to mind. Of course, I don't curse at work, nor would I, but for you to think that you can/should attempt to threaten my career is beyond appalling and veering sharply into the delusional.

      You are wrong about SoulCollage being right to "dump" me. But, again, that comment just shows your true (ugly, mean-spirited) colors. In fact, I think I just figured out who the sniveling little passive-aggressive weasel is who complained about me.

      If you attempt to interfere with my career in ANY way and/or commit ANY further defamation than what you have said here, I promise you that you will see us in court. We know who you are, and my attorneys will have no trouble finding you.

      Furthermore, the rest of your comment illustrates, once again, that you have absolutely NO clue what you are talking about. I won't even bother to argue about those points, because it is quite clear that you literally aren't capable of reading and comprehending what either of us has written.

      In summary, Anita, I hope to never hear from you again. I didn't/won't publish your comments on my blog, but this is Dirt's blog and she can do whatever she wants. You just want to snivel and whine and bitch and moan about what Dirt and/or I do/say/write or don't do/say/write. How about you taking all of that energy and put it toward saying what YOU want to say? Do something constructive with your life, Anita. Because quite frankly, all of this back-and-forth is a waste of both your time and mine. I know who is right here, and it's not you.

    2. Anita Perry, you do not know nor have you EVER known a single Butch in your man hating fucking life!

      And the ONLY reason you cite incoherence regarding this blog is because STRAIGHT Women (ie YOU) do NOT speak D Y K E!

      Also Anita, you may freely suck at the paps of criminalized baby killers, but Mrs Dirt and I do NOT tolerate that sick shit here or anywhere! You may want seriously vet the sick psycho Lezbophobic bitches you're trying to hock!

      And passively threatening my wife's career cuz you couldnt find a pot to piss in is as heterosexually female brained as it is grossly vulgar! But me contacting U of Davis with a LITANY of marked times you have been on this blog using THEIR computers and getting paid to do so (if a law suit occurs-they to will be taken to court as well) isnt a fucking threat Anita, its a fucking sure thing! Good thing you're close to retirement!

      Anita, your sick fucking hapless obsession with Mrs Dirt and I needs to end, get some fucking therapy or at least find yourself a nice little man to settle down with, maybe grow a garden.



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