Change Your World-NOT your Body

Monday, May 30, 2016

STRAIGHTBIAN Privilege-Heterocentricity & Dyke Vulnerability

In a recent post my wife elaborated and simplified further in the ongoing problematics with STRAIGHTBIANS co-opting/deceiving lesbians/lesbian spaces/lesbian sexuality, including determining/disseminating INCORRECT ideas held of lesbians by the general public and lesbians themselves! Writing off the important points made by my wife in her post, I'm going to continue in that vein, focusing on STRAIGHTBIAN privilege, heterocentricity, dyke vulnerability/dyke shame and how when coupled, all combust into dykes transitioning.
 STRAIGHTBIAN privilege functions for straight women in the lesbian arena similarly to how male privilege functions  for men everywhere. The world/society being a (relative) normal place for STRAIGHTBIANS from birth, gives STRAIGHTBIANS several legs up over growing disadvantaged dykes. Dyke children have no language for their feelings/crushes and all around ways of being dyke girls. Outside of our own bodies, dykes rarely exist. And as children, we perceive ourselves through what we see around us, beginning with our families, then extending through tv/films/sports/toys/clothes/other children/commercials/magazine covers/comic books/fairy tales/billboards etc.

And what baby dykes see is HETEROCENTRICITY magnified to the Nth degree! What baby dykes do not see is ourselves! Even today, media visible dykes like Ellen are so watered down, their sexuality (despite being married) is covered with so much dirt, they as lesbians seem dead to us. Lesbians continue to exist only in the public eye IF 1) the IDEA of lesbian sex is controlled/regulated by men/for men or 2) actual lesbians are devoid of sex in order to make them palatable for John Q public! And this is the world lesbians are born into, a world where despite the world wide web's global accessibility to just about EVERYTHING-dyke visibility and dyke actuality remain fictive, defined by heterocentricity via STRAIGHTBIAN interpretations or diaphanous.

Baby dykes of all varieties are barraged by the heterocentric romance of boy/girl beginning at home, carried on into school fairy tales where a baby dykes only option in their imagined futures is to put themselves in the boy position of boy/girl fictions. Growing dykes dont dream of a handsome prince rescuing them from some evil dragon, dykes dream of slaying the dragon themselves! As dyke youths begin developing girl crushes, they watch as each crush one by one fades into the boyOsphere. In the land of boy/girl, it is the boy who always gets the girl, not the dyke. Dykes often find themselves in the best friend position with girls. Girls will tell their dyke bestie what boy she likes, what he said to her at the school dance or in the school hall before 5th period. She will also drop dyke bestie like a bad habit when when dreamboat boy requires her attention. She will then expect bestie dyke to drop everything when she needs a shoulder to cry on after boy after boy dumps her. Dykes growing up wind up as boy stand ins for girls when boys arent available. Desperate lonely dyke youths will be that stand in just to smell a hint of romance.

The boy stand in scenario sets dykes up to be taken advantaged of later on by STRAIGHTBIANS. For the variety of reasons straight women CHOOSE to date dykes, dykes having been passed over again and again by straight girls/women for males, so that when a STRAIGHTBIAN shows dyke interest, dykes cant help but revert back to that hurt baby dyke standing alone at the school dance watching her crush dance and snuggle with a boy. This is her chance to FINALLY get the girl all the boys wanted! A want so strong that dykes believe STRAIGHTBIAN tales of "I never knew I was a lesbian till you"! And it becomes apparent soon enough in a STRAIGHTBIAN/Dyke relationship that STRAIGHTBIANS know nothing about lesbianism/lesbian culture or lesbian desire.

Some STRAIGHTBIANS will know enough to skirt making love to a dyke partner by pulling the Stone Femme card or be shocked when a dyke wants a reciprocal relationship in bed and out-"you mean you're not a STONE butch"? STRAIGHTBIANS functioning through heterocentricity will cause female shame or increase existing female shame by using male vernacular to flirt with dyke partners such has calling them handsome or masculine. Many will even tell dykes that they seem more like a man to them. Some even asking did they ever think they might REALLY be a man trapped in a woman's body. STRAIGHTBIANS will tell dykes they walk like men, talk like men, think like men, act like men.

Some STRAIGHTBIANS may innocently feel aligning dykes with men is a compliment, others flat out use male compliments to undermine dyke confidence. Either way, when STRAIGHTBIANS  cannot bother to familiarize themselves with lesbian culture/history when getting involve with dykes and trudging into a relationship with a dyke filtered through narrow heterocentricity, dykes are harmed in the process. In the past that harm could simply mean:
  • Dyke falls in love with a STRAIGHTBIAN and at some point said STRAIGHTBIAN dumps dyke for a man.  
  • STRAIGHTBIAN continues to sleep with men while calling herself a lesbian and sleeping with dykes, whereby dykes wind up contracting a heterocentric venereal disease. 
  • STRAIGHTBIAN using male jargon to flirt with dyke, shames dyke for not being a man. 
  • Dykes used by STRAIGHTBIANS for financial gain till a bankroll with a penis comes along.
  • STRAIGHTBIANS wasting dyke time/dyke lives that dykes can NEVER get back. 
But in the present time, the past harm STRAIGHTBIANS caused dykes is the least of it. In the last decade or so, STRAIGHTBIANS taking a man break for a temporary dyke diet has literally led dykes in droves STRAIGHT into transgender transition!
  • Some vulnerable dykes transition for fear of losing their STRAIGHTBIAN for a man.
  • Some vulnerable dykes transition because STRAIGHTBIANS wanting to use male names/pronouns (in bed and out) with them gave the distinct impression said STRAIGHTBIAN really wants a man. And vulnerable dykes will try to fit that bill.
  • Some vulnerable dyke's female shame is so great, STRAIGHTBIANS suggesting said dyke looks/acts/feels like a man to them, pushes dykes into transition.
  • Some vulnerable dykes transition because their STRAIGHTBIAN says it would make their relationship better and more authentic/accepted.
  • Some vulnerable dykes transition trying the be the man their STRAIGHTBIAN says she needs them to be for her!
  • Some vulnerable dykes transition for their STRAIGHTBIAN because their STRAIGHTBIAN is uncomfortable in a "lesbian relationship".
STRAIGHTBIANS filter lesbianism through a heterocentric lens, which regardless of how a STRAIGHTBIAN dating a dyke came about, comes with a high degree of privilege that no dyke will EVER enjoy. Dykes learn as children that we must maneuver through life if we are to survive, thrive and be happy. STRAIGHTBIANS for which heterocentricity is normal, never have to contemplate the daily issues dykes negotiate once their foot steps outside the comfort of their own door.

STRAIGHTBIANS do not have to mind shift/switch when watching tv or movies or reading stories. STRAIGHTBIANS exist everywhere they look. In no corner of the earth do STRAIGHTBIANS not find themselves staring back into their own eyes. Dykes have no such privilege, and as a result dykes greedily consume anything resembling dyke regardless of the awful taste it leaves in the mouth. When you rarely have the pleasure of food, you become so hungry that you will eat shit if its put in from of you. Unfortunately long after digestion, the smell lingers on.

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