Change Your World-NOT your Body

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Straightbians You May Know

In continued effort to clarify misinterpretations regarding the recent Straightbian posts, my wife and I comprised a SMALL list of well known Straightbians. Hoping that by putting a face on Straightbian, dykes can better steer clear of them and Straightbians can see themselves in a mirror that does not have FUN written in front of it.
  1. Anne (Call me Crazy) Heche: Minor actress who bamboozled famous lesbian comedian Ellen DeGeneres. Heche went from men men men to Ellen and back to men men where she resides today. Typical Straightbian Quotes by Anne: "I felt cared for … I felt free to express a part of me that I had not been able to express with a man."......"You fall in love with a person, not a sex.".....We do not fall in love with the package of the person, we fall in love with the inside of a person.”
  2. Cynthia (Gay is a Choice) Nixon: Minor actress, forgotten in her many small parts, remembered for her part in Sex and the City-the heterotastic HBO show. Typical Straightbian Quotes by Nixon: "What I Have 'chosen' Is To Be In A Gay Relationship."...."I Don't Define Myself. I'm Just A Woman In Love With Another Woman."...."I believe we all have different ways we came to the gay community and we can't and shouldn't be pigeon-holed into one cultural narrative which can be uninclusive and disempowering."
  3. Julie (I'm just not Gay) Cypher: Cypher is only known for partnering with well known film/music stars. Most well known was her marriage to Lou Diamond Phillips whereby she cheated on him to snag lesbian musician Melissa Etheridge, whom she later pulled an Anne Heche on, saying: "I've tried and I've tried these last couple (12) years, and I'm just not gay".
  4. Judy (palimony) Nelson: Nelson is known solely for her relationship with tennis star Martina (love 'em and lock 'em out) Navratilova and Martina's ex Rita Mae (Trans? Rubyfruit Jungle) Brown. In perfect Straightbian lingo Judy has said "kissing a woman is the same as kissing a man" and after the Martina/Rita years she has went on to date both women and men. 
  5. JoAnn (I co-opted Femme and $old thousands of books to dykes) Loulan: Loulan came onto the lesbian scene primarily through her books like-The Lesbian Erotic Dance: Butch, Femme, Androgyny, and Other Rhythms...Lesbian Passion: Loving Ourselves and Each Other....Lesbian Sex. Loulan, a psychotherapist co-opted/usurped and dicktated Straitbianism UNDER the guise of lesbian. Loulan appeared on tv shows like Oprah, Geraldo, Donahue, 20/20 as a LESBIAN expert rather than the lesbian imposter/charlatan/fraud that she was. Loulan, like many Straightbians gave the general public HER HETEROSEXUAL interpretation of lesbian, further painting lesbian as real into a darker corner. Written like a true Straightbian:
  6. Amber (I stole attention/resources from REAL lesbians at the 25th Anniversary GLAAD Awards) Heard: Minor actress currently married to Johnny Depp who said previously that "GLAAD is one of the many reasons that I, as a 24-year-old, can come out". Hmmm is coming out as STRAIGHT a thing now that requires gay and lesbian financial support?
  7. Lindsay (I kissed a girl DJ) Lohan: Train wreck child actress who likes the male/media pornofied attention she's receives from kissing girls but says "I know I’m straight. I have made out with girls before, and I had a relationship with a girl. But I think I needed to experience that and I think I was looking for something different."
  8. Alice (Telling Stories) Walker: American novelist who when she hit 50 had her first lesbian relationship (gag) by having a ménage à trois between her, her then husband and another female. This followed a few other sexual encounters with women then it was back to men where Walker has remained. Lesbianism for Walker was just like the love she has for her daughter- A CHOICE! 
  9. Loree (killHER) Cook-Daniels: Loree is the epitome of the most dangerous Straightbians of all. Unhappy with hetero-domesticity, Loree hitched a ride on the radical feminist bandwagon where she made the CHOICE to be a LESBIAN-feminist. She partnered with a insecure dyke whom she supported right into transitioning to a man. Her partner, now called Marcelle-could not adjust to transition and later committed suicide. Loree's work has and continues to focus on transgender (she has a penchant for female eunuchs-looks like a man but much easier to boss around) and she comforts herself regarding her lesbianism by saying "many (lesbian) partners discover they actually have a preference for FTMs". Sorry Loree, you're confusing STRAIGHTBIANS with dykes! 
  10. Amber (lesbian sex radical, ex-hooker, incest survivor, gypsy child, poor-white-trash, high femme dyke-her description not mine) Hollibaugh: Amber is known to lesbians because her distaste for dick lead her to be an expert on Butch/Femme relationships. I know-I fail to see a connection too. Amber rather than deal with her abusive background with males, used her hetero-hierarchy to default to lesbian, write/publish and in Straightbian fashion, teach as a lesbian and DICKtate lesbian TO lesbians!
This is a minute variety sample of the GREAT number of Straightbians past and present who have wreaked havoc directly on lesbians, the lesbian community, lesbian spaces and maybe MOST importantly the INCORRECT notion of what a lesbian is and the legitimacy of REAL lesbians who have no CHOICE in who we are/who we're sexually/emotionally and spiritually compelled toward.

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18 comments:

  1. I know this will probably make a lot of people mad, but you are right on target! Lesbians need to wake up and stop believing that ANY woman can just magically become a lesbian.

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  2. Okay - so who are your gold star lesbian - 100 % lesbian lesbians who will never receive your wrath, Dirt ?

    Your readers are well aware of who/what you don't like - who lives up to your standards ?

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    1. Why do people get so upset about these posts? Dirt is simply making a very good point: lesbian sexuality is not something a woman chooses. Those who claim to "choose" are not lesbians. Our sexuality is not a meaningless category that anyone can claim to belong to. There's no respect for us out there, from women who claim they are lesbians because they're fleeing male violence/supremacy to male trans who insist they are lesbians and their penises are female.

      It's not about a lesbian being gold star or being in a heterosexual relationship because of internalised or societal homophobia. People need to be honest with lesbians instead of using them for whatever purpose they see fit. We deserve as much.

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    2. My answer is also exactly what Anon April 7, 2016 at 4:55 AM said. Dirt is not telling people what to do; instead, she is simply pointing out that this kind of thing happens surprisingly often, mostly due to the misconception that "hey, any woman can CHOOSE be a lesbian" ~ and this hurts lesbians in many ways. If straightbians were honest with themselves AND with lesbians about their true orientation/intentions (say, for instance, they are making a political choice to partner with women, or perhaps they are simply sick of men), then at least the lesbians would have the opportunity to make an informed choice.

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    3. The mean-spirited edge to these posts are enough to make one wish they were straight. And, do you only dislike feminist political leanings? What about the politics of 'born this way" as a gay political strategy?
      There is no evidence or proof of 'born this way' and gay genetics.
      https://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2015/jul/10/born-this-way-society-sexuality-gay-gene

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    4. Oh good, Anon at 3.26 PM: another round of tone policing bordering on ad hom, and whataboutery. But hey, make sure never to address the points being made.

      Lesbians have a right to know whether potential partners are truly lesbian or making some sort of point. Why is that so hard to understand?

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    5. Yeah, Anon at 3:45 is correct; Anon at 3:26 somehow managed to NOT address the valid point that everybody has a right to know their partner's true orientation/intentions. Again, all we are saying is just be honest with yourself and potential partners. There is nothing mean-spirited about the truth. What is mean-spirited in this topic is the fact that lesbians continually getting ignored, used, attacked, disrespected, hurt, and made invisible. To say that being a Lesbian is a choice falsely implies that Lesbians themselves could CHOOSE to be Straight, an incorrect and damaging assumption that led to reparative therapy, which is both harmful and unethical. It's not a choice.

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  3. That comment @ Alice Walker was a BURN! that went so hard Lol. Damn.

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    1. I luv Alice Walker.

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  4. Most of these don't claim to be lesbians, they just sort of are bi or experimenting or under a misapprehension, which I have no issue with, generally speaking, if they're honest, but I wouldn't get involved with anyone like that. Joann Loulan, though, is a slimeball who got fame and money from pretending to be a lesbian (she still claimed to be a lesbian after hooking up with a dude lol) Even before that I thought her books were shitty but so many people loved them.

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    1. Hi radish, Thanks for your comment ~ the main point we wanted to make is that anyone who sends the message that lesbianism is a CHOICE is damaging to the lesbian community. That message undermines the lesbian community in many ways and trivializes our very real orientation. And for someone to use us for profit/fame is abhorrent.

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    2. I get that. I had too many people not take it seriously or assume I could choose to be straight if I wanted, which is part of the harm that kind of trivializing does.

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  5. I think it's perfectly fair for a lesbian to know who she hooking up with. But how many ignore obvious signs that are involving themselves with a straightbian 'because she's hot!'? Yes, I've heard that. They trip all over themselves to mess with married women, the 22 year old student peer who's only ever dates boys, etc. Then when the woman drifts back to men, the lesbian that blind folded herself goes all obsessive/stalky! I've seen it to much for it not to be a thing, and I see nothing in this article that lays blame in that direction. The closest you come is "we're to good for this" rhetoric. Unless the chick is holding a gun to your head, you have to assume some responsibility for determining the sort of person your interested in. Ellen didn't exactly beat Anne off with a stick and frankly, it was Anne's career that took the hot, whereas Ellen good to play the victim and made a brand it off it.

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    1. Anon 4/7/16 at 7:32 PM: Great point about lesbians bearing responsibility if they choose to chase after straight women. If they choose to knowingly pursue straight women, then they should not be surprised when the straight woman returns to men. So, yes, I agree that lesbians being honest with ourselves about what is going on in romantic situations is definitely needed too. Re: the Ellen/Anne situation: Ellen's career took quite a bad hit for a long time after she came out, and it took a while for her to recover with her current show. Anne's career took a brief hit, mainly b/c of the "Celestia" episode ~ not the Ellen affair ~ but Anne recovered fairly quickly with Men in Trees and other work since. So, while I agree that Ellen didn't beat Anne off with a stick, based on interviews with them at the time of their relationship, it seems that Ellen labored under the same misguided, incorrect assumption that a straight woman can suddenly and magically become a lesbian...which is the very same issue we are writing about.

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  6. Great series. I made me realize that the reason pretendbians on both the political and queer~ sides of the fence are so desperate to cling to the word lesbian that they fight to include opposite sex attraction in its definition, is that they are using 'lesbian' as a replacement for the words, 'woman who is not in thrall to men'. As in, 'A woman who is not in thrall to men can still be attracted to men.' and, 'Maybe you were born not feeling in thrall to men, but some of us choose to not be in thrall to men.' They identify as 'lesbians' because they don't want to feel doomed to a life of getting abused by male partners.

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  7. "They identify as lesbians because they don't want to feel doomed to a life of getting abused by men."

    Or bored by them!

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  8. Been reading your blog for a while. As an adult, I'm a femme attracted to butch women. I find many in the lesbian community don't like butch women, or think butch/femme dynamic is a myth that copies hetero couples. Would love to speak you and your wife sometime about this.

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    1. My wife also has a blog if you're interested: https://sayebennett.com/ And feel free to email me if you would like to talk thedirtfromdirt@yahoo.com

      dirt

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