Change Your World-NOT your Body

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Not Your Usual Girl-NOT a Transgender Kid

The other day I was going through some childhood photo albums with my wife when I stumbled onto my kindergarten report card:
My dad and I-me age 5:

And this is what my teacher summarized about me at the end of both kindergarten marking periods:

Me about age 6:
About age 9:
About age 11:
From a transgender POLICY informing school systems on appropriate sex gender role behaviour and what they deem inappropriate role behaviour:


TRANSGENDER: An adjective describing a person whose gender identity or expression is different from that traditionally associated with an assigned sex at birth.

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL: Generally, it will be the parent or guardian that informs the school of the impending transition. However, it is not unusual for a student’s desire to transition to first surface at school. If school staff believe that a gender identity or expression issue is presenting itself and creating difficulty for the child at school, approaching parents about the issue is appropriate at the elementary level. Together, the family and school can then identify appropriate steps to support the student.

Nearly any and every characteristic/trait that would have got me slapped with a transgender label I naturally felt/experienced well before kindergarten. Upon finishing kindergarten, it was obvious to my teacher back in 1972 and 1973 that I wasnt a "usual girl". I didnt dress in a typical girl manner, didnt act in a typical girl way, had male peers as opposed to female, had mannerisms in alignment with males rather than females, had crushes on girls like boy peers did, played with toys/games assigned to boys instead of girls, hated having to use girls bathroom at school, didnt want to be associated with the girl label period etc. 

Were I five years old now, what would my kindergarten teacher have said to school authorities? To my parents? To a school psychologist? Having had parents that loved me for me and encouraged me to be the me I was, would school officials have tried to force my parents to label me as transgender? Tried to have me removed from my home for child abuse when my parents refused? 

Yes I could have been diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder/Gender Dysphoria at age 5 and even today. But that diagnosis wouldnt make me transgender anymore than it does anyone else being diagnosed yesterday, today or tomorrow. Being a different kind of girl got me noticed in 1973 and beyond, but it didnt get me branded with a mental illness. Today it would. And that branding could/would lead to treating that mental illness by destroying markers that might lead to any hint of my female sex. 

Having been around the lesbian community for many decades now, I know first hand my way of being a girl/gal isnt exclusive. Some lesbians share my exact story, many more share portions of it, all of them would have been diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder/Gender Dysphoria. Only not one of us ARE! So where are the school policies differentiating US (dykes/Butches/tomboys/female athletes, farm girls) from them (transgenders)? 

If MY narrative, MY story-i.e. MY Butch/lesbian life fits the transgender bill to a T (pun intended), yet I am not even in a ball park near transgenderism. How are the so called professionals distinguishing which of us is to be transitioned and which of us gets to live?

dirt

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26 comments:

  1. Yes, it *is* like they're selecting us for life or death. Will that gender nonconforming girl get to live or will she be earmarked to die (transed into a gender conforming boy)?

    On a side note, you're lucky you got to dress the way you wanted. When I was little girls HAD to wear dresses to school, otherwise they would be sent home. I got out of the damn dress and into pants as soon as I got home.

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  2. You had/have all the markers supposedly clear for 'transition to male', but continued to live life as the Butch lesbian you were meant to be. Including having a supportive family. Great! Was your family also supportive when you eventually revealed your lesbian? More lesbians should know stories like these about butch identified lesbians.

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    1. I never "came out", I was too obvious to be in. So dating women came as no shocker. My brother is also gay. Our dad, nor any extended relatives have ever showed any signs that our sexuality or ways we carry male/female differently were ever an issue. My wife is also treated the same by family as they treat any other spouse.

      dirt

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  3. Girl Dirt could have been my Doppelganger, right down to the fishing and those striped pants! I had a pair of those. My being a tomboy was tolerated up until about the 7th grade when the gender policing of teenagers become harsh. I grew up to be straight (which surprised a lot of people) and each passing year finds me even farther past give-a-shit for gender policing. How to help young girls today to not get sucked in to the trans narrative is a puzzle. Our culture makes sure that "old women" are called useless, ugly and told we have nothing to say to a young person. Meanwhile, the kids are groomed online by people all too willing to tell them that every trouble in their lives must mean they are trans and then the pointers on how to manipulate parents follow. I fear we are not going to be able to do anything but watch girls get ground up and spit out by this trans ideology.

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  4. Free From Sex PozziesDecember 6, 2015 at 11:23 PM

    This gender policing is a real problem. I have had to be proactive every place my daughter goes.

    This is because my 3.5year old girl has very short hair, wears many of her brothers hand me downs, prefers boy underwear, is extremely stubborn and has an iron will (two traits that will serve her well). She's not compliant, sweet, friendly- none of the things typically "feminine". She has serious boundaries and protects them.
    Of course, I think she's perfect!

    But so far several people have asked me if maybe she's really a boy! What does she identify as?
    I'm like: SHE ISNT EVEN FOUR YEARS OLD FFS AND SHORT HAIR DOESNT MAKE YOU A BOY.

    It's frustrating. None of these people have been liberal feminists or into trans or even gay politics. These are totally mainstream hetero women. They saw something on Tv, read an article, and unthinkingly repeat it. Correcting them isn't hard to do, and they all respect my preferences (not mentioning this garbage to or in front of her, no shaming for her style).

    But shit- she's not even four. Some weeks she thinks she's a tiger! And yet, no one thinks she's a tiger.

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  5. Excellent, powerful stuff. Hoping teachers and mental health workers/"experts" read this article. As a mental health counselor myself, I fully agree with all you've said here. I personally/professionally have my hands tied from working in my local LGBT community in the mental health field because of my trans 'politics'. Mind you I haven't formally applied or interviewed for such positions, because I already know I would be dismissed because they are clear of their need for counselors toeing the mainstream trans line, which I cannot. There are actually 2 job positions open right now that I am very interested in, save for this factor (one of these orgs had an ftm employee commit suicide not long ago).

    Funny how much self-proclaimed "anti-oppressive" orgs actually grease the wheels of the predatory industrial-colonist machine.

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  6. My childhood wasn't that different than dirt's. I was a tomboy. I played baseball, ran through the woods, and built forts. I never liked to play with silly dolls. If I were ten years old today, they sure as hell would have "transitioned" me.

    @Nat,

    "Funny how much self-proclaimed "anti-oppressive" orgs actually grease the wheels of the predatory industrial-colonist machine."

    In Iran, gay men and lesbians are coerced into sex reassignment surgery. They are trotted before a psychologist or psychiatrist who sets them up for hormones at the first visit. After this, it's basically get the surgery, or be executed. It has been going on for years.

    The government of Iran will even help pay for sex reassignment surgery, yet it executes homosexuals. What has been going on is basically a new form of gay and lesbian eugenics.

    President Obama, how is this not anti-gay conversion therapy?

    http://4thwavenow.com/2015/04/09/president-obama-how-is-this-not-conversion-therapy/

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    1. oh man did you see that vice documentary they did on iran? it is so brutal, these people are trying to lie to themselves and to the camera how it is right for them to transition.. ect. But since they have no other option, you can tell they dont want to go through with it. The documentary tries to be PC, but the whole thing is an obvious, and very sad, summary of the real truth. cant find a direct link but it can be downloaded schmillegally http://hbowatch.com/vice-synthetic-drug-revolution-transsexuals-of-iran/

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    2. It is very sad! I remember watching one such Iran docu featuring all gay men -- I felt so bad for one young one who was vocal about not wanting the surgery but not having a choice around it, the *horrific* pain he was in after, and on top of it all, I think his boyfriend dumped him afterwards cuz he was into men (either that or it was a different gay man who was dumped by his boyfriend. Though I don't know why the bf didn't have the surgery...maybe just a matter of time? I don't know) -- such a cluster fuck!

      I've seen about 2 or 3 such docus about Iran over the years and have not seen ONE female's story being featured. I haven't seen the vice one or the one linked by Anon, before I check them out, are there any female stories? Not that I want to see women being forced into sex changes (!) but I want to know the stories if Iran is carrying out this human rights atrocity on both sexes.

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    3. Yea there's a woman in the Vice one who had already transitioned

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  7. Hah! I love it. You look like such a 'lil badass in that last pic.
    Glad you had supportive parents, they sound sane, which is crazy!!

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  8. Yeah the sex & gender circus in Iran is horrific. It's one thing for self-loathing to drive one to slice & dice critical body parts, it's a whole other thing when others' loathing of you forces you under that knife via laws and customs.

    When it comes to gender non-conforming kids expressing distress or desire to be the other sex, I think the first point of psych exploration -- and not from a place of judgment/shame/blame -- should be looking at the parents' views of sex and gender, along with what the child is learning in school and media and how covertly and overtly it's all being expressed & taught, so that we have some point of entry as to where and how exactly *that particular child* is getting their messages. And then the hard, time-consuming and careful work of helping the child understand nothing is wrong with them or their body by way of sharing stories about, and showing them pics and videos of all sorts of gender outlaws of various ages who are integrated in mind-body-soul, so that the message I AM OKAY -- and not only OKAY but also GOOD AS I AM -- replaces the distress, confusion and self-loathing. And for the artists among us to create more works that teach healthy, natural sex and gender ideas TO combat the shit that's out there.

    Hyper-activity and reactivity (vs. responsiveness) are two traits particular to the (hetero-patriarchal) colonist culture that explains why SRS has become the dominant way to "treat" GID. It is much more difficult, time-consuming and requires much more thought and great care to chip away at and replace harmful and restrictive sex/gender values/ideas than it is to throw bodies under the knife.

    On the one hand and only when it comes to adults, I think regardless of risk, ppl have a right to do what they want with their bodies, but it's not so black and white and becomes a real mess because kids are looking at these adult trans people as role models. Kind of reminds me of how young boys are growing up seeing and learning that beauty includes fake breasts, thigh gaps (wtf is with thinner and thinner bodies becoming the beauty ideal?!), and faces botoxed or collagened up to high hell, when in reality these are self-loathing adults teaching kids what 'beautiful' supposedly is, just as grown trans ppl are teaching kids it's normal to hate your body and feel nature made a mistake and that surgery is a normal, natural answer to it all. And on top of it all to buy into violently-upheld delusions that biology doesn't exist and that penises are vaginas and vice versa. Such a fucking mess. The colonist culture's homophobia and misogyny work to cement it all together, as well as other cultures shaped by abrahamic ideologies.

    Lucky for us traditional Indigenous cultures and non-operative gender outlaws exist for us to learn and take note from, since the colonist culture is such a mish mash with a huge collective identity crisis and lack OF identity, other than being a thief and killer of other cultures (big difference between learning from other cultures and appropriating them). We all come from Indigenous roots before the annihilating "civilization" project began, and so we all have a deep primal human intelligence to tap into for simple (but not easy) answers to this and so many other problems we face today, if we just take the time and hard work to block out the mainstream din with its shiny distractions and rat nesty theories and bells and whistles and 'coolness' around gender trending (esp. for younger people), to figure it out. For any sex or gender-confused ppl who may be reading this: The further from Nature we get, the more disconnected and miserable and small we get. Ultimate coolness is being yourself without burying or erasing any parts of you cuz no one like you exists! Own who you are and stand proud in who you are as Nature made you, cuz nothings is more cool or beautiful or perfect than Nature, which we are born from and are part of!

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  9. The forced transition of gays and lesbians still leads to a visual homosexuality as gay men begin being attracted to females post hormones and lesbians begin being attracted to men. Whether natural homosexuality or visual homosexuality-the person transitioned will be eventually murdered by the state if caught.

    Just like the transition policies in the US-poorly thought out, no follow up and based on subjective heterosexual comfortableness/conformity.

    And for the record tho it seem ridiculous to have to point this out over and over-I wasnt a "gender non nonconforming" child or adult. I was a female, I am a female and therefore everything that did and does spring from me is female in complete adherence to my sex-female.

    GNC is a homosexual spotlight used to shine on any suspected obvious gay and lesbian. Used to spell out D I F F E R E N T, used to correct perceived difference via transition in suspected homosexuals. In other words, complete bullshit. Within gay and lesbian communities whether hundreds of years ago or in recent times-we conformed perfectly to our homosexual natures and homosexual peers. It wasnt until our slight progress for basic human rights gave us some visibility. And it is that visibility to compulsory heterosexualists that our gay and lesbian nature/loves/passions/likes/mannerisms/dreams-were branded wrong/different/GNC, in basically that order. GNC being the label today used to usher us toward transition ie perceived CONFORMING.

    dirt

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  10. Anyone heard of this craziness???? Women living as men in Albania and a few other countries. They are allowed to live as men but must take a lifetime vow of celibacy to never have sex. This is allowed if there are no men in the family to take on 'male' duties for his family, as men have more rights than women in these countries.

    And they're not actually living like men if they're not allowed to have sex. It's unclear if these women do this willingly because they're asexual or lesbians etc. Some reports state this is chosen for them as children, or that some women felt more male than female. But this doesn't explain the celibacy vow.

    Albanian Women living as Men
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2xU-uXnbQY

    Balkan Sworn Virgins
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balkan_sworn_virgins

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    1. Whether lesbian, asexual, or heterosexual.
      Yes I think this is horrible if these women are forced to live this way, rather than choosing it for themselves.

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    2. First of all, I must declare a prejudice: I am part Romanian and, while the rest of Europe is making jokes about us, whom do we target? Why, the Albanians, of course.

      But as I (poorly) understand it. those Albanian womens' "lifetime vow of celibacy to never have sex" refers to "never having sex with men", and which of us has not made a similar vow, well or poorly kept? In Islamic, and pre-Islamic, tribalist Albania, sex with other women scarcely counts as sex at all.
      I don't trust myself to objectively say more, I hope some better-informed people will read this and reply.

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  11. Dirt, thank you for this post.
    30 year old female lesbian here.

    Spent my first 10-12 years on this planet wanting to walk around shirtless like my cousins and do "boy things." To hear my mother tell it, at age 3 I would not wear a dress and would only wear pants that had a zipper. I refused, cried, and freaked out when this did not go in my favor, because that is what children do. At age 4 or 5, I fantasized about taping a part of a hosepipe to myself so I could stand up to pee, but never did for fear of getting caught. I even secretly peed standing up with no apparatus. I wanted to be a boy for a long time.

    I've suffered with depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideations from age 12 until this present day, but it has nothing to do with "gender dysphoria", but with genetics riddled with mental disorders. I am adopted and found out these commonalities later, so no, it was not an environmental transfer/projection from relatives.

    I look at how quick parents are to label and "treat" those who do not fit into a gender binary and it scares me how different my life could've been.

    I am sure transitioning would've distracted me from my mental disorders for a while and testosterone and a hysto even could've appeared to cure my depression!, as in my particular case, it was later linked by a psychiatrist I've seen over 10 years to peak when I am ovulating. (Let that sink in and the many implications of what could be happening to ftms who note remarkable changes will alarm you.)

    My parents love me dearly, and in today's society, they may have believed my tantrums and screaming of "I want to be a boy!" to be more than a childhood phase from a troubled child who will never fully fit inside our society's definition of "female."

    I love your tagline "change your world, not your body." It explains it all.

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  12. I grew up a tomboy in the 50s, supported by my parents in a conscious or unconscious way. A girl could do that in the 50s,with the expectation that in around 8th grade your attention would turn to boys and men and you'd take a back seat in life. That day never came for me, and that's when the true torture started until feminism came along and absolved me. Oh and I did threaten suicide at about 12. My whole body and soul burned for an electric guitar which girls were not allowed to play. Thankfully, my parents finally saw the light, even though the rest of society didn't take kindly to it. Society helicopters over kids today, overly eager to consider drugs and other alterations. I wish it were as simple as turning kids on to the arts. And maybe it is.

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  13. First of all, felicitations on your recent wedding.

    You are so cute in those photos, and I think you're still squeezy-cute now. That's a faggoty way of putting it, but it kinda translates to I'm proud of who you are now and who you were then.

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  14. I read your account again today. It brought up so many memories for me of my own childhood. We didn't get report cards in kindergarten, but when I left secondary school (17) my teacher described me as an "exotic butterfly" who had fluttered unexpectedly into their grey, masculine lives. He made it (quite subtly) clear that although I had "brightened things up" for a while, they weren't altogether sorry to see the back of me. My Mom and I thought it was quite poetic, for a Latin teacher.
    Looking back on my childhood, one of the things I'm most grateful for is that my Mom and Dad were quite "hands-off" parents. They weren't neglectful, but they had their own lives and didn't make a full-time deal out of parenthood the way some of my contemporaries and juniors seem to do. I think they took the view that the universe could send you any kind of kids, and you just had to make the best of it and try to get along with them.
    You Dad looks nice, I hope he was proud of you.

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  15. Is that your poor little brother in the bike trailer? No wonder he turned out a fairy! :-)

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  16. You weren't a trans kid then and you aren't a trans adult now. You did not have the suicidal ideations that fit the typical transgender diagnosis.

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    1. She's a lesbian, so are you insinuating that the gay community doesn't have a problem with suicide? Assuming that trans have such high suicide rates (and suicide rates actually go unchanged or even upwards after transition) and other groups do not is kind of odd. Suicide within the trans community is often used to push for transition and has been highly politicized.

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    2. Dear lord you lesbians are dumb as rocks! Thank goodness you can't reproduce!

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    3. Ah, but they can, and often do, and so do we (gay men). Concern about the exposure of our own children to poisonous ideologies is by no means bottom on our list of reasons for resisting the trans-shit.
      It seems to me that "suicidal ideation" is used by the trans propagandists like the childish threat to "hold my breath till I turn blue" if I don't get what I want: as the inimitable Violet Elizabeth Bott put it: "I'll thcream and thcream till I'm thick... and I CAN!"

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  17. You are clearly incapable of understanding a simple English sentence. "You did not have the suicidal ideations that fit the typical transgender diagnosis."
    I can explain it to you until I am blue in the face, but I can't understand it for you. You'll have to grow some more brain cells to do that!

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