Transition-When it is Too Hard to be Pretty

What happens when feminist lungs have been drain of all oxygen, then refilled with MANufactured FUN feminism
What happens when women are shamed out of their RIGHTful anger?
What happens when women arent allowed to be angry?
What happens when women's anger is ONLY acceptably allowed under the the category Male?
What happens when the category Female becomes so extreme, no female can find a comfortable place to lay her head?
What happens when the category Female becomes so extreme, female no longer recognize themselves as female?
What happens when Female becomes a category rather than a biological reality?
What happens when women's fears of not fitting into the category of Female supersede all common sense?
 What happens when lesbianism becomes unrecognizable? 
What happens when lesbianism has been purposely blurred to ensure it is unrecognizable? 
What happens when lesbians cease to recognize themselves?

This is a sample  from a typical trans female forum of what happens, and it is happening all over the known world:

Girl A...I thought if I could be a pretty girl then I could forget how I felt inside, I thought If I could be a pretty girl I could actually be a girl, I thought I could push everything aside and force all this on myself, I wanted to be like my friends, I wanted to have crushes on boys, and get excited about makeup and talk about the hottest boys in school but I couldn't, I forced myself to get boyfriends and kiss them, I forced this all on myself and convinced myself I was happy, but I wasn't, I couldn't push who I was away, I knew these feelings would never leave and that's when I realised why I was so depressed and suicidal, I thought I would never be able to express who I really was and that's when the Suicide attempts happened, I've attempted suicide 4 times in my life and self harmed everyday for like 5 years

Girl B...When I initially started puberty I was quite excited to get breasts and a more feminine figure. I knew I liked boys so I guess I felt I needed to look a certain way or I wouldn't get a boyfriend. I felt pretty crappy about myself and every time I tried to be more feminine I felt more awkward.

Girl C...I thought if I forced myself to be a pretty girl I'd be happy too. I looked fine, but I still felt so unhappy and ugly.

Girl D... it's the worst when you managed to look like a "pretty girl" because then it's so much more difficult to take the steps to change. I was obsessed with making myself look perfect, unless the whole act was perfect I would feel so disgusted with myself.

Girl E...Being a "pretty girl" never really suit me and I was a literal bitch BC I was so unhappy

Girl F...I did the long girly hair and make up for years! trying to be a girly girl - didn't work as I was far too 'tomboy' and so made me miserable. 

Girl G...Yeah I had so many tiny fixations with my appearance and ended up with an eating disorder which I haven't entirely recovered from.

Girl H...I had a similar period a few months back to try and be what all my friends were, a pretty girl. Made my nana happy too that she got the granddaughter she wanted. 

Girl I...When I initially started puberty I was quite excited to get breasts and a more feminine figure. I knew I liked boys so I guess I felt I needed to look a certain way or I wouldn't get a boyfriend. I felt pretty crappy about myself and every time I tried to be more feminine I felt more awkward.


  1. Good questions, dirt, and sad answers from these young girls. It's heartbreaking if they imagine their remedy is to "transition", and into what? it's just a different and more virulent version of the old lie men tell women, "you are not good enough, you need to change your physical appearance/body" They seem to run the gamut from conflicted same-sex attracted, to insecure opposite-sex attracted. (I use the old-fashioned words, where "sex" meant the biology and anatomy one is born with, or born to develop thru natural physical maturation). Speaking now from middle age, and as a heterosexual woman, didn't most of us, as developing young women, feel out of place, unsure, insecure, awkward, unattractive to whoever we wanted to attract, at least from time to time? Feeling "unreal", wondering who you really are, how do you fit it in - isn't that to be expected at that stage of life? Thankfully, most of us get through the worst of it without feeling the problem must be that we are "actually" the other sex, despite biology and physique. What a terrible way to feel, that must be. Or are others telling them that's what these feelings mean? Because it is an emotional reaction, not a physical realty... and to believe in it leads...well, we see where it can now lead, because the powers that be (including some misguided parents) now want to "cure" such women by dosing them with poisonous levels of hormones that are artificial for their bodies, cutting off functional body parts and worse yet, stitching on fake, non-functional replicas of the other sex's anatomy. I can only imagine, however,that the social, cultural and familial burden imposed on same-sex attracted girls (does that describe a lesbian?) must be an order of magnitude greater than what's heaped on the rest of us. Still, she isn't attracted to women because she is "really" a man...she is a woman attracted to women. Operative word: woman. Let us hope that your message of female/woman self acceptance, regardless of physical appearance, grooming style, clothing style, demeanor, or attractions, and NOT imagining you can or need to change your sex, makes headway among the young. As for "transitioning", we as women should not emulate the confusion, self-delusion and rebellion exhibited by males/men who claim to be us by taking injections, putting on wig, makeup, lingerie and high heels, surgically whittling their faces and other male parts and demanding everyone to call them by our name, "women". Thank you.

  2. I've always had a desire to please others. When I hit puberty that desire sky rocketed and I tried to be the "perfect girl" that I saw in the magazines. I wasn't even sure that I liked boys but I accepted that I probably did if everyone was telling me that I did. I developed an eating disorder that almost killed me. No matter how hard I tried it wasn't good enough. Only in my late 20s did I let myself start being me, but I'm still punishing myself for it and so is society and my family.

    1. Its hard to push against the grain, but its harder still to live a lie. You should give yourself some credit for working at being you. So many obstacles stop us from what should be a natural growth process. The perfect you, is the you you are, not the you you "should" be.


  3. Thanks Dirt, its really refreshing to find some logic in the sea of insanity I feel like I'm drowning in..

    Never felt the need to be "perfect" honestly I'm surprised more of us didn't delve into drugs and death metal, as did I.. Or at least turn aggressive, rather than depressive, or repressive.. But it did take me a while to gather the courage to break free of the dictated laws on how to be female! Shit, though, these kids are kinda being brainwashed into thinking "trans" is their only option... We need to find someway to positively reinforce "non conforming gender roles" if we could catch onto the media train the "trans" trend has, in such a positive light, many lives and LIFES could be saved..

    1. I couldnt agree more and my door is always open to new idea in this struggle!


  4. Dirt, this is one of your best posts because it forces us to look at reality. It saddens me to see what all these young women experience.

    Happy Thanksgiving day to dirt and all the courageous women on this blog. Also, Happy Thanksgiving day to Petre.

    1. Thank you and right back at ya for the Thanksgiving wishes!


    2. Thanks! Have yourself a merry little Hanukkah.

  5. "Be young and beautiful,
    It's your duty to be beautiful.
    Be young and beautiful,
    If you want to be loved".

    That was the song sung, in deep sarcasm and (some deep, some high) raucous voices as straight and gay women linked arms on the first Women's Liberation March in London (1970?). Wtf has happened to us and the world in the meantime? We pooh-poohed the early Cassandras' warnings of the impending backlash. But, as they tried to tell us, patriarchy is a powerful, croctopus-like enemy, and I fear we - lesbians, feminists and gay men who remain true to a feminist vision of the future - are reaping the rewards of our own (if you'll excuse the expression) cockiness.


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