Change Your World-NOT your Body

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Another Fallen Transman: Matt Kailey

In effort to continue documenting transition related deaths of trans females, here is yet another former self hating dyke gone gay/popular blogger/transgender activist who's died of a testosterone related early death.


Jennifer Kathleen Kailey, better known to her transgender readers as Matt, died "suddenly" May last year of "heart failure" at only 59 years of age. Jennifer transitioned, like many post queer theory dykes in the 90's (1997) at a much older age than lesbians today. Jennifer began her transition at age 42. It is unknown specifically (at least to the public) when she began injecting testosterone. From her own writings, particularly her writing on Menopause, Jennifer-for some years at least was using a low dose of testosterone since she was experiencing Peri-menopausal hot flashes at 50, as her female body fought to regulate itself and was apparently winning still.

Along with her trans-activism, Jennifer ran a question and answer website and about a year before her own death, Jennifer was asked by a reader this:

 “I have a pretty scary question. I’m a trans man, and pretty early in everything, so I used to like looking accomplished trans men up online to have some celebrities to feel some sort of connection to.
“But then I noticed than trans men seem to die pretty young – at least the ones mentioned in ‘famous trans men’ lists all around. So many died before they were even fifty or sixty. And now I just saw another memorial post on Facebook for a guy who died, also before his 50th birthday.
“I know that it’s probably a coincidence, and that all the trans men who live long, happy lives are probably never heard of. But I just have this nagging fear inside that it might have something to do with medical conditions that aren’t being noticed because of bias in the medical system, or something to do with testosterone or … you get the picture.
“My doctor doesn’t know anything about anything, so now I ask you. Maybe you and your readers know something. Do you know if there is any kind of medical study of how trans men in general do medically after transitioning?”

Jennifer answers vaguely: 
 
"The one thing I do know is that you will never get out of this life alive. I’m not trying to be snarky. You will die of something, and my philosophy has always been that I would rather die after having lived a full and authentic life than after having lived as someone I am not.
There are some health risks associated with testosterone, but for most people, these can be mitigated. From what I have read, trans men overall have the same life expectancy as non-trans men, which is slightly shorter than for women.
Some of the guys who you have read about have committed suicide. Lou Sullivan, a very famous trans man who is probably on many of those lists, died from complications related to AIDS. Robert Eads, another very well-known trans man, died from ovarian cancer. Both of these deaths were quite likely complicated by bias in the medical system.
Many of the guys you have probably read about would have died whether they transitioned or not. They might have had some overlooked or undiscovered health problem that would have killed them regardless. They might have developed a terminal illness that had nothing to do with testosterone. The only reason you know about them is because they were trans."
Jennifer then falls back on her own age (57) transition as proof to assuage the reader's fear about testosterone's harm on the female brain/body. I suspect Jennifer minimized the deaths of well known trans females from transition/testosterone in order to alleviate her own worries. Sadly putting her head under a rock or putting her fingers in her ears while la la la-ing cost her her life. 

Like other trans females active in their community, Jennifer was more invested in touting subjective pros rather than providing objective cons. And as an individual, thats her right of course. But when one is a community leader and looked up to for factual information and support, subjectivity isnt limited strictly to self harm it spreads out, harming others.

Jennifer may have had the best of intentions, but we know where the best of intentions pave the way to. The best of transgender intentions may not lead to a fiery hell, but they most definitely lead to a shorter life span on earth.

We're recently seeing the ongoing death toll of 90's trans females, most of whom transitioned in middle age. So now a dozen or more years in transition, their lives are being taken by the secondary means of heart issues, heart valve issues, cardiovascular disease, various cancers(especially brain), diabetes to list a few. Nineties middle age dykes who transitioned while a lot, is a drop in the bucket of Trans Trending females in recent years-females in their teens and early twenties. If 10 to 15 years post testosterone is the norm for middle age transgender female deaths, are we going to see Trans Trenders dying in their late 20's/30's? Will lesbians have our own AIDS type crisis? Will their be enough lesbians left to care or cry?

dirt
 
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29 comments:

  1. Kailey died of heart failure the same way that the first mtT in the US, Dr. Alan Lucille Hart, passed away.

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  2. when my grandfather- genetically male of course- was dying of cancer (throughout his body) one of the suggestions the doctors had was castration ie stopping his body's natural production of testosterone because they knew even then that testosterone spurred the growth of cancer, tumors. if doctors are transitioning and giving testosterone to women especially those at midlife when cancers are known to start popping up and not warning them of the danger it seems to me that is serious malpractice and violation of the Hippocratic oath to do no harm. i recall long ago watching 'southern comfort' and thinking- this person knows they have cancer and they're taking testosterone and no one is stating the obvious risk...?!

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  3. I have no idea of the quantity of testosterone taken by transitioning females. I do know that small quantities of testosterone given to biological males -- sex hormones being very powerful things -- are certainly not good for their health, their well-being, or, frankly, anyone else's health or well-being, including partners they murder before committing suicide. Someone once suggested that testosterone is toxic in and of itself, but what I wonder is if testosterone produces toxic metabolites as it courses through the body. Look at male faces and how they overwhelmingly do not age well, especially compared to women.

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  4. This is basically an experiment on healthy young women. Below is an example of an "Informed Consent" form for testosterone. What other drugs are used this way? Doctors don't have people sign these kinds of "Informed Consent" forms for other drugs. They know it's an experiment. Doctors have women sign these forms to cover their ass in case they are sued. FTMs are lab rats.

    http://studenthealth.oregonstate.edu/sites/studenthealth.oregonstate.edu/files/main/docs/consent_testosterone_therapy.pdf

    _____ ______ __/__/__ I understand that testosterone can increase the red blood cells and hemoglobin, and while the increase is usually only to a normal male range (which does not pose health risks), a high increase can cause potentially life-threatening problems such as stroke and heart attack. I have been advised that my blood should be monitored periodically while I am taking testosterone.
    12. _____ ______ __/__/__ I understand that taking testosterone can increase my risk for diabetes by decreasing my body’s response to insulin, causing weight gain, and increasing deposits of fat around my internal organs. I have been advised that my fasting blood glucose should be monitored periodically while I am taking testosterone.
    13. _____ ______ __/__/__ I understand that testosterone can be converted to estrogen by various tissues in my body, and that it is not known whether this increases the risks of ovarian cancer, breast cancer, or uterine cancer.
    14. _____ ______ __/__/__ I understand that taking testosterone can lead to my cervix and the walls of my vagina becoming more fragile, and that this can lead to tears or abrasions that increase the risk of sexually transmitted infections (including HIV) if I have vaginal sex – no matter what the gender of my partner is. I have been advised that frank discussion with my clinician about my sexual practices can help determine how best to prevent and monitor for sexually transmitted infections.

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  5. @Anonymous November 30, 2015 at 3:45 PM

    Google "testosterone lawsuit"

    Doctors are learing that giving testosterone supplements to biological males comes with the risk of heart attack, blood clots, etc. I'm not talking about males who have some kind of medical condition in which they have very low testosterone levels. I'm talking about males who just want to boost their libido or turn back the clock.

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  6. I worry about my ex. Would it matter if they had their ovaries removed prior to taking testosterone? Like, is it b/c the T is battling with estrogen and prog. that is causing the problems or is it just T in general? Anyway, the whole thing is one big fuckery. He obtained an Rx for T around fifty years old with a couple of doctor visits only. Unreal now that I think about it. :( ugh.

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    1. Males produce estrogen and (I believe) progesterone just like females do. If these problems come from the hormones "battling" then that should be a problem in everybody, I would think. Unless relative amounts also matter. No idea.

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  7. Testosterone is not technically a drug, it's a hormone. Taking any hormones come with risks, including "the Pill" for women and my thyroid hormone, for instance. The benefits must outweigh the risks.

    My risk is that my life would be significantly cut shorter than even 10-15 years or dying at 50, because if I couldn't transition I would have committed suicide.

    I am an FTM trans male. That means to me while my chromosomes are female, my body looks and sounds and smells male. I cannot go in a women's bathroom just because I have XX chromosomes. Some intersex people who are unaware of their status may never know they have the opposite gender's chromosomes, and they don't go in that other bathroom either. Just saying :D

    And one more thing. Don't worry about all the lesbians you have lost. I have never, or will never be a lesbian, nor do I identify with them or want to be with them. They are women, first of all, and I am not, and I like people who want to be with men. You didn't lose me because I was never one of you - I was bi/pansexual and still am! So not all FTMs are former lesbians. Besides, here is a common thought but important enough: given the opportunity, there is no telling how many lesbians of the past would have decided to transition. FTMs are very different from lesbians. For starters, male hormones have a significantly different effect on the brain. I do not act like a woman, or think like one, nor do I identify as one.

    Thank you for your concern though. I am happy being alive in the gender that aligns with my brain.

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    1. Wheres the proof of suicide? Long term studies show transgender suicides occur post transition, not before.

      If you're female, everything you do/think is female-including transition. Nothing changes biology miss. Nothing. Women like Jennifer or you may try, but her biology remained female right to the end as will yours. As to whether you're a lesbian, if you've been on T for more than 2 years and you're attracted sexually to males? Your brain is lesbian. Needless to say, but I will anyways-your comment reads like the old saying of who yell queer the loudest.

      Your commenting here also belies your being "happy".

      dirt

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    2. I think she's saying she is attracted to females who are attracted to men.

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    3. You are a woman. No other kind of dysphoria is treated like yours was, just sex dysphoria. Wonder why that is. You've got some kind of underlying issue that no one ever helped you fix the right way--the way requiring the least physical intervention, that would be the least catastrophic to your health.

      And under U.S. federal law any substance you can put into your body that materially changes your health status is classified as a drug. So yes, injected testosterone is a drug, and so are contraceptive pills.

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    4. Dirt, you are a cunt and always will be. I wish you could tell it to my face that I'm a girl, especially by giving answers you know nothing about or not taking into account any of the variables of the subjects you are talking about. You say you're a dyke. That's good enough for me. Am I going to enumerate all the reasons that can make someone not a dike and attribute them to you because I don't agree with you being a dyke?

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  8. Lynn,

    Suicide can happen at any stage of pre, during, or post transition, not just after. It’s impossible to study the prevalence of suicide in people who are pre-transition, just as it’s impossible to get an accurate number on the murder rate of trans people - many of them are not out and appear to be invisible. When they are out and are pre-transition and commit suicide, their families may never mention their trans-status, may gender them as they were assigned at birth, call them their birth name and generally erase any trans-related association. You mentioned more trans people commit suicide after their transition, but what is that in relation to?
    In the long-term study I found, the prevalence of suicide after transition is higher than the control of those who are cisgender and never transition. (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3043071/)

    Just because someone committed suicide after their transition doesn’t mean a trans person regretted transition. The suicides I know of include young people who are abandoned by their families, have lack of support, are abused, rejected from their peers, are homeless or live in extreme poverty, suffer job loss or inability to get a job due to their trans status, are addicted to substances or have mental disorders unrelated to being trans or exasperated by the aforementioned problems associated with being trans, to name a few. You’re right, some people do regret transition. But that is certainly not the only reason someone would commit suicide, nor is it the most common reason. In fact, informed consent (the dangers/liability form the patient must sign) has replaced the WPATH standard because it has been shown and widely accepted in the medical community that in most cases, those who want to start hormones are satisfied with their decision after transition and do not regret it.

    You mentioned biology is not changed for a FTM. What is your definition of biology? I have already noted that FTM’s chromosomes never change, despite transitioning; you’re right about that! However, their biology does change in some ways, and more is being discovered - we can’t be certain of that extent yet. Testosterone therapy has been shown to induce structural changes in the brain identical to cisgender males brains, specifically reducing grey matter and increasing white matter (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/08/150831001124.htm). Testosterone can affect behavior, thinking, and communication patterns (not to mention all the obvious physical stuff). I look, think and act male. If you met me, you would probably never guess I had been born female.

    What is your definition of female? Merriam-Webster defines females as: woman or girl; individuals that bear young or produce eggs that are fertilized by male sperm. Obviously, being female means different things to different people. According to Webster, any person that has lost their capability to bear young or produce eggs is no longer defined as female.

    Let’s toy with this idea. Lesbian-identified women are not attracted to men, or “male-levels-of-testosterone-affected bodies”. You think I am and call me female, yet I am unrecognizably my XX chromosomes. Hypothetically, lesbians and heterosexual men could potentially show interest in me because I am female as you claim. Yet I can guarantee virtually no lesbian or straight male will ever be attracted to me because I don’t resemble one nor do I embody the female spirit (and I will certainly not be allowed at Mitchfest). :D

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    1. Firstly, you are not special for considering suicide. Those who have killed themselves are not martyrs. They made a choice, and death was the consequence. I'd be willing to bet you'd be hard-pressed to find ANY human being who has not considered suicide! Life is hard, for everybody. Being "trans" does not make you special, different, or more persecuted against. In reality, you are bowing down to perceived social pressures, and desperately trying to fit in. I guarantee, walking out to the world as a butch lesbian, presents much more confrontation than as an "ftm". But this isnt a contest, and it is not heroic to make yourself a victim. Stop trying to make physical sex anything other than it is. There is a clear difference between male and female physically, and biologically. Sure, there are different birth defects and hormonal conditions, but that does not make such people "transgender" or a "third gender" or any such nonsense, and it really has nothing to do with the issue at hand.

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    2. I didn't think I was "special" for being suicidal... I was making the point that despite the risks of health problems and death that testosterone could potentially cause me, it doesn't matter because I would have already killed myself in the past. I have a new lease on life now, because I am happy to be alive being able to express myself the way I feel.

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    3. There's no such thing as a gendered brain. And you will never make sperm cells nor have the capacity to do so. They could figure out how to transplant testicles into your body and even figure out how to make them work and it still wouldn't be your testicles, they'd be some dead guy's sperm cells and whatever kids you "fathered" would be his.

      Maleness and femaleness are sexes and exist for the purpose of reproduction. Only those differences that are for the purpose of reproduction are actual sex differences. Any other differences can be put down entirely to non-sexual individual diversity.

      There is no special way to "feel male". You've stereotyped males and you're still living a stereotype. How very feminist of you.

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  9. Hey, v-rock, here is another more comprehensive study to read.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/science-says-men-and-women-arent-really-wired-differently_565f096ee4b072e9d1c42d06?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women&section=women

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  10. "Obviously, being female means different things to different people. According to Webster, any person that has lost their capability to bear young or produce eggs is no longer defined as female. "

    What kind of bullshit is this: "female means different things to different people"? This is trans delusional thinking. V rock wouldn't even be typing posts if it weren't for her mother. All the mitochondrial DNA and half the nuclear DNA came from her mother. Yes, some women don't get pregnant, but no male can become pregnant. Why are humans the only primate in which we must entertain this ridiculous notion that we can change our sex? Primates don't change their sex. It's trans fantasy world.

    "I look, think and act male. If you met me, you would probably never guess I had been born female."

    Every cell in her body is female, and forensic anthropologists probably could tell that she is female by looking at the bone structure. She can never impregnate a woman, and doesn't have a penis comparable to a biological male.

    "Yet I can guarantee virtually no lesbian or straight male will ever be attracted to me because I don’t resemble one nor do I embody the female spirit (and I will certainly not be allowed at Mitchfest."

    This female human will never be able to experience sexual pleasure the way a male does. It's never going to happen. Yes, testosterone can do certain things like increase sex drive, and possible aggression, but this human female will never experience sexual pleasure in the same way as a male does. By the way, some de-transitioning FTMs that go back to identifying as a woman have relationships with women. Some FTMs that have sex with males, and these are bisexual or heterosexual.

    What does "embody the female spirit" mean? This is nothing more than politically correct bullshit sex stereotypes. Trans is neoliberal post modern new way of doing sex stereotypes, but it's glorified as being totally cool and progressive.

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    1. Primates also don't use verbal language to argue about people being trans.

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    2. Lots of males can't impregnate a woman or have a penis (or they could have micropenis, cancer, botched circumcision, intersex condition, or another issue). That doesn't make them any less male because you say it does

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    3. Why do trans cultists always bring up rare and random hypotheticals that have NOTHING to do with the matter at hand? Major intersex advocacy groups have repeatedly asked you to STOP coopting their existence for your own gain. Fucking STOP.

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    4. You, as ALL other F2Ts, can't impregnate any woman on Earth not because you're an infertile male, but BECAUSE YOU'RE FEMALE.

      You, as ALL other F2ts don't have a penis because you weren't born with one, you were born with a vagina BECAUSE YOU ARE FEMALE.

      Males who lost their penis due to cancer, botched circumcision, accident, etc. had to have one to lose it in the first place. You, on the other hand, don't have one because you weren't born with a penis but instead a vagina BECAUSE YOU'RE FEMALE.

      Sorry, but your stupid logic and delusions don't work here.

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    5. Hi Anon, I don't think "embodying a female spirit" is PC bullshit, I think it's very profound; a human, spiritual experience of energy exchange and connection that is just as real and valid (if not more so), as science.

      I know and can feel when I encounter a female energy or male energy or a combo of both regardless of their body, and my personal position is that biology is reality but not destiny and it's just one small but important part of who we are, and important enough that it should not be sliced and diced in order to cram ourselves into ridiculously tiny, narrow, euro-colonist defined boxes only to be judged, (re)shuffled and (re)classified here there everywhere just so that small minds can try to make sense of things. I would love to see more gender outlaws embrace who they are inside AND outside and *integrate* the two mentally, spiritually and emotionally rather than hate themselves straight into the operating room. As a mental health counselor I cannot fathom how other mental health "experts" can go along with this self-loathing. But most of them (the 'experts') are very colonized and uphold a colonist mental health system, doing whatever it takes to make people compliant, "productive" little colonist slaves or slavemasters.

      I can usually "clock" trans people, but sometimes not; I've seen some very radical outer changes in trans people (usually ftm's more so than mtf's) to the point they look just like "the real deal", though we know when the clothes come off, it's different, and the whole point to all this, in my mind, is that different is not bad or less than! I think this different=bad/lesser than faulty thinking is a major reason why some trans people are trying to force us to agree on things like penis = vagina, as I am currently arguing in a fb thread (a trans woman is telling me that trans women are biologically female -- ayyyye!)

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    6. Maleness isn't down to having a large enough or functioning penis. It's about whether you have the potential to produce sperm and ever could with your physiology--a lot of conditions causing infertility are caused and come well after your conception and birth.

      You would never ever ever have the potential to produce YOUR OWN sperm with the biology you have. It just isn't going to happen. You are basically cosplaying masculinity and you equate it with maleness and you could not possibly be more wrong.

      and Nat? All you're picking up on is stereotypical masculinity and stereotypical femininity. Butch lesbians must really confuse you. Knock it off with the sexist BS, no one cares.

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  11. "Obviously, being female means different things to different people."

    Not in primates...

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    1. No, but do they have the capacity to communicate to you? You can't assume you know the reality of the universe.

      According to the dictionary definition of female, there are a lot less females than we thought. Obviously that definition is lacking, because there is clearly more to being female than chromosomes and ability to make babies. So it's true - you, myself, and the dictionary all have different definitions of being female.

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    2. "Primates also don't use verbal language to argue about people being trans."

      "No, but do they have the capacity to communicate to you?"

      Yeesh! I know that science is not a tranny strong point but in case no one told you, humans ARE primates. There's only a percentage point of difference genetically between us and chimpanzees. And no, I don't need to communicate with them to know that a female is a female is a female.

      You and your fellow cult members have to rely on playing absurdly dishonest word games ("According to Webster, any person that has lost their capability to bear young or produce eggs is no longer defined as female.") and vague, pointless mumbo jumbo ("You can't assume you know the reality of the universe").

      When you're not doing that, you are hijacking the identities of people with vanishingly rare intersex conditions as some kind of "gotcha there!" argument, when in actuality the existence of these medicals anomalies no more disproves sexual dimorphism in humans than people born with extra digits mean humans don't have five fingers and toes per hand/foot.

      I hope one day you wake up before it's too late. It's easy to say you'd take a half-life in a medically altered state over a normal lifespan when you're still young and relatively healthy. Will you be saying the same thing in, oh, 10 - 15 years when deadly serious complications tend to arise? I wonder if Jennifer would've been so blasé if she knew she'd be dead in a year.

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  12. Matt Kailey was never a "dyke". He was gay (attracted to men).

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