Change Your World-NOT your Body

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Transmen-Testosterone Files and Rape

There is a long continuing presumption pervading trans minds/narratives of feeling/experiencing themselves as the sex they are not born. Sometimes this presumption begins in childhood, when their experience as female doesnt seem to match their female peers. Or if they have seemingly more in common with boys and boy behaviour/experience. We hear often I never felt like a girl. Not realizing having been born one, EVERYTHING they feel is girl, even after they begin high dosing synthetic male hormones. They feel male, through their femaleness, their female biology. NOT through being male biologically, which is the ONLY way to actually FEEL like a boy/man/male/he/him/his. This leads me to an early trans female account of testosterone's poisonous effects on the female brain/perceptions/thoughts/desires/actions.

Anita Valerio, who transitioned in 1989 and calls herself Max, documents several nightmarish realities of how testosterone drastically alters the female brain.
The noticeable presumption aside, her declaration of shrunken emotion and difficulty in experiencing deep emotion (outside of extremes) is a common theme of trans female narratives. All too often this limiting of emotion via testosterone use, is met with pride by trans females. They speak of feeling calmer, except when hurt, which quickly turns to anger or being quick to temper in ways they werent previously. This calmness (emotionally dull) is viewed by trans females as distancing themselves from their femaleness, more than moving closer to maleness. Patriarchy teaches that emotions are something that females have too much of and cannot control. Emotions have historically (still today) been used to confine women to mental institutions, declare women incompetent (so males could loot their properties/possessions, keep women from places of power etc. Whenever we hear of a trans female reveling in her lack of emotion, you can be sure this is a woman who has internalized some of the worst of misogyny as Anita clearly has.


Anita goes on in her testosterone file narrative to speak of how her sexual morals/desires changed after testosterone:
Anita writes a great deal of differentiating herself from women through the use of misogynistic sexist tropes as much as through testosterone injections themselves. Anita also continues her presumption that her female body/brain's experience of synthetic male hormones is the same as that of males. Males whose bodies/brains begin changing with the introduction of the Y chromo at about six weeks of gestation in utero and further changes from the flooding of testosterone at about nine weeks. Male biology begins BEFORE testosterone and XY babies are born male. They come out of the womb that way, not superficially created from prescription drugs, therefore how they experience life via biology is naturally going to be drastically different from women injecting synthetic versions testosterone!

None the less, the effect from over dosing testosterone Anita Valerio writes about in females is frightening! Not merely a dark desire to view women as nothing more than fuck toys, but to contemplate raping women. She continues:
We live in a world where males rape and females predominantly get raped. I suspect the rape desires of trans females is half hormonal and half social based on their internalization of males rape/women get raped. What better way to FEEL like a real man and what better way to cease feeling female than for trans females to frighten girls/women with being raped, fantasizing of raping girls/women or actually raping girls/women.

There are no known drugs to successfully remove the desire of pedophiles from wanting sex with children, yet the drug testosterone can create a desire in women to rape other women. Even if the chance of a trans female raping another woman is one in a million, why would any medical professional risk prescribing it knowing the lifetime trauma rape causes? Testosterone in high doses in women IS poisonous, poisonous to their female body and often times poisonous to the bodies of other women. And if that isnt poison, than poison doesnt exist. Beware!


  1. Well I know being a man that this is definitely not about what's being male is like, not biologically prone to rape not even close to that. How did he come to think men are like that it's insulting.
    While I don't agree that this happens to all trans men, I def agree that this notion a masculinity is completely sociological, and also buys on the myth that want men with a much higher sex drive and that women are passive object of the subject of male desire and not have a desire themselves.
    That said I simply think that basically a trans, like any other person, can be an asshole like this one as well as a great one. Or possibly it might just mean being not used to testosterone, like an adolescent male, which anyway, might strongly desire a woman, but very far from wanting to rape.
    So this is a social construct of gender, a sort of fantasy.
    But then I wonder how that works for trans women.
    Also adopting this dominating dominee view seems very cultural as well, seems a sort of internalized misogyny of some straight women who thinks a "powerful" male is more intriguing.

  2. "EVERYTHING they feel is girl, even after they begin high dosing synthetic male hormones." What a load of crap. There have been studies PROVING that the white/gray matter of a trans persons brain is that of their identified gender. And to add on top of that, every embryo is female until the introduction of testosterone in the womb. Things go wrong inside of the womb all the time why must you already assume that a trans people are "delusional". Regardless, testosterone doesn't make you want to "rape" women. Either you have a predispition to it, or you're using your high sex drive as an excuse for it. If you already have anger management issues, maybe they could get a little bit higher due to testosterone, but it doesn't make you into a abusing raping angry man. This blog is brainwashing.

  3. This is a bit off topic, but here's a very slanted Salon article regarding a trans fight to the death. Read between the lines and perceive the privilege stuff being played out on college students. Also many of the comments that shed light on the trans antagonism are continually deleted.

  4. Dirt,

    I particularly like when you post biographical sketches of individual women who are famous (or infamous) for their public grappling with sexuality and "gender identity" (and also, with racial and class identities). These examples are always illuminating, and help to make sense of this mess that is transgenderism.

    The excerpts you pulled from Valerio's Testosterone Files, showing how she has come to sympathize with men's urge to rape, are really disturbing. She reveals how her sympathy with rapists is directed connected to the objectification of female bodies, combined with her adopting the male pattern of emotional insensitivity and lack of empathy for the other.

    You wrote: "Whenever we hear of a trans female reveling in her lack of emotion, you can be sure this is a woman who has internalized some of the worst of misogyny as Anita clearly has."

    Yes internalized misogyny and a heavy dose of narcissism. Because, while she criticizes the act of rape itself (a little left-over from her lesbian-feminist days?), she certainly does not condemn all the ways in which gender/sex roles guarantee that men will continue to violate women, and how male violence and rape reinforce gender in an endless feed-back loop. In fact, she makes all this social machinery producing misogyny sound inevitable, and celebrates it, even. She celebrates it because, having the urge to rape women validates HER OWN "manhood."

    Testosterone poisoning must have something to do with this, but equally important is the poisonous, woman-hating, post-modern thinking she's fully internalized.

    I went looking for the essay she wrote back in 1980 (more than a decade before her transition) for the anthology, This Bridge Called my Back. Her piece is called "It's in My Blood, My Face--My Mother's Voice. The Way I Sweat." Have you read it? If anyone is interested, here's a PDF of the whole collection (her essay comes last):

    Comparing this deeply emotional essay (which is also about identity--as an Aboriginal woman, and as a lesbian) to the way she writes as "Max" is startling. Yeah, I know everybody changes over time, but the differences are remarkable. Night and day. "It's in My Blood ..." grapples with personal pain, poetically, and with racial injustice and women's sexual oppression. Reading it, it's nearly impossible to imagine that 25 years later, this same writer would be delighting in the male prerogative to objectify women and sympathizing with rapists.


  5. Re: the link to the PDF file of This Bridge Called my Back.

    I made a mistake: Valerio's essay doesn't come last. It's somewhere around the middle. Anyway, there's a table of contents.


  6. "adopting the male pattern of emotional insensitivity and lack of empathy for the other. "
    A slight observation from my behalf, maybe it would be more correct to say "culturally masculine" pattern, which supposedly celebrate the "natural male role", but it's an excuse for domination. But it's not or at least it can stop being like that being a man, and many men, me included are among the first victim of this way to intend masculinity, bullied at school, even from girls probably passive aggressive internalized mysoginy acted by enforcing the notion of "how a true man should be" holding a double standard similar (although less pervasive as a social force i have to admit) to that used by women toward men.

  7. ^"by men toward women" i meant in the last line, sorry :).

  8. It's very disturbing when F2T talk in a romantic way about hunters, predators and being hunted. So now she has a huge sex drive and instead of getting worried about it she thinks it's the real deal. The man deal. How things should be and always have been.
    I bet she thinks that women secretly want to be raped, but she knows it's not okay to say so.
    She became is sick piece of shit and nothing to be proud of.

  9. That narrow band of emotional volatility and shallowness is horrible, why anyone would want it is beyond me. I have been living a version of this (less the sex) and am fighting to reconnect with my emotions. I have only had had some success now that I have realized that internalized misogyny was the culprit.

    I was never on T (thank heavens it wasn't available then!) but I idealized males until I was fully colonized by their views. I saw theIr stoicism as something to emulate, as a positive, and my own extremely sensitive feelings as something to banish- by any means necessary.
    And when I say "by any means necessary", I mean it. Drugs, self harm, etc. Had T been available I would have tried it, no doubt.

    This makes me wonder if women seek T and transition in order to deal with traumatic experiences, and the emotions attached. If you're overwhelmed with emotions that are awful, the stoicism and emptiness of masculinity would seem attractive, even if thia is never consciously considered.

    But being cold and unemotional ended up being a life killer instead. Emulating masculine traits is toxic, even without T. I cannot imagine what it would do to one to take T, and these examples are horrifying.

    Wanting to rape? Feeling out of control in his way? Idolizing power tripping sexuality? I would think these thoughts would make you want to stop T right away, but it seems to make their identity valid instead. That's sick, regardless of whether it's biological, societal, or a combo of both.

  10. @Anonymous 6:20 AM

    Show me the brain studies of people PRE-TRANSITION and PRE-SELF-IDENTIFICATION. The brains of London taxi drivers dramatically change as they acquire the necessary knowledge for their job yet you want me to believe that years of fantasy and synthetic hormones won't have an effect on your brain? Ridiculous.

    Also, it is evident that your knowledge of biology only extends to sensationalistic headlines. No, human beings don't all "start female" (you trans wackos probably love that one because it would make half the world "kind of intersex"). What happens is that there is a basic "map" that awaits for the lack or presence of the SRY gene, simple as that.

    The only delusion I see is the one coming from your side of the discussion.

  11. The overwhelming focus on fantasy aligned use of pronouns and the art of urinating while standing, in juxtaposition to true concern about biochemical effects and especially, misdiagnosing tomboy and lesbian children as Trans, and setting them up to stunt them forever as an unscathed natural human being.

    The only reason I can see for such outsized vehemence of anything examined on this blog, is a fear I think , that the information may somehow impact the ability to score synthetic Testosterone.

  12. Its her ultra man fantasy exploding into a real life scene, so cherished her Conscious Delusion, that she was willing to abuse others and become a ruined future. All for a hyperbole of imagery. It is possible part of her even revels in it.

  13. Post preceding was in reference to Ira Gray, not Max. To clarify. A little difficult sometimes navigating a blog per phone.


Copyright © The dirt from Dirt | Powered by Blogger
Design by SimpleWpThemes | Blogger Theme by | Distributed By Blogger Templates20