Change Your World-NOT your Body

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Girl Intercepted

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a boy. I thought constantly about it in the light of day and prayed over it in the dark hours of night. Out of sight I pretended I was a boy. On the nights I prayed the hardest, were the days I awoke most excited. Quickly searching my body for clues I gleaned from my older brother. He sometimes walked out of his room in his under-boy things, mom yelling at him to "put some damn clothes on." I saw a few times the big hump in front, but praying did nothing to swell my small bump. But dont get me wrong here, it wasnt just the big bump I wanted that boys had, it was EVERYTHING!

On top of all that, I hated everything girl. The stupid clothes, the dumb toys and games, how they acted, their favourite colours. Even before I could remember, my parents said whenever they put me in girl's clothes I'd strip them off, underwear and all! After a while, they gave up and let me were boy stuff, even cute under-boy things. In these clothes I felt so free like I was a bird and these clothes were my wings. But at first I could only wear them at home, later after I pleaded, mom gave the okay and I could also wear them to school. Kids can be cruel. Sometimes they made fun of me, accused me of "acting" like a boy. I screamed back at them I WAS a boy! But each time, despite my boy clothes, I had to line up with the girls to use the girls restroom. Some boys were cool though, could see what I felt and what I knew. They let me play their games and even made me an "honorary" boy too.

Soon my parents, concerned, found me a special doctor. What God didnt give me the doctor would, could it be that easy? I was going to have an operation. I was afraid and happy all at once. When it was all over with, I was going to be normal! I would be the boy I was meant to be. Doing all the boy things I envied! As I waited in hospital, my mind raced to a new boy world that I was soon to be a part. The long curly locks that boys had, my hair was still growing out. Skipping rope. The lacy dresses, white stockings and beautiful shiny black patent leather shoes. Smooth pink and red ribbons in my hair. Skirts, blouses, sweet perfume and cute panties! All this would be my oyster, just by going to sleep. "Drink this" the doctor handed me something in a white cup.

Later, when I was back at school and the teacher said "boys form a line" I too stood up.

dirt

Eye of the Beholder

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5 comments:

  1. That was awesome! Thanks, Dirt.

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  2. Too bad there's not a "Love You" box to tick, in addition to the "Hate It" and "Hate You" boxes! Your honesty and persistence have been an inspiration to me. Thank you for all you do.

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  3. Yeah, I agree with anon @ 11:45. You need a "love you" box. I have lots of love for Dirt.

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  4. Oh, dirt, I love you too. Keep up hope. Be strong. Life is just beginning. Things get better, I promise.

    Stephie

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