Change Your World-NOT your Body

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Why I HAVEN'T Transitioned by Jane Doe

I haven't transitioned because I am 4'11" tall.

At least that was what prevented me when I was 18. I tried to pass as
a man but I could only pass as a young boy. Not what I wanted.

I knew since I was 5 that something was wrong. I didn't hate my body
then, but I saw what females were FOR and that was clearly not what I
was about. I figured I would grow up to be a man someday. As the years
went by, I got more and more anxious about gender. (We called it "sex
roles" back then.)

When I was 20, I took acid. Then came the revelation. IT'S NOT ME.
There's nothing wrong with me. Gender is a trap, an illusion, a
falsehood. There are two boxes. I don't fit in a box.

It was a relief to realize I don't have to mutilate myself. That I can
be a strong butch (well, mini-butch) woman. I can love myself as I am.
I don't have to shave, pluck, dye, use makeup, high heels, tight
skirts or any of that. I don't have to pack, posture, take hormones,
or get surgery.

THANK THE GODDESS for that.

-- Jane Doe
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35 comments:

  1. There's nothing wrong with being a 4'11 man. Have you ever watched Game of Thrones? Tyrion Lannister (who's played by Peter Dinklage) is 4'5 and he's not just a man.. he's The Man. XD

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  2. Talk about missing the point entirely.

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  3. The first poster totally missed the point indeed.

    Gender is a trap, I agree.
    I'm glad that there are more who don't fall for it.
    I like the mini-butch idea, it sounds special. ;)


    Big

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  4. I've always thought that psychedelics are a far better prescription for 'gender dysphoria' than cross-sex hormones. They're helpful (even if sometimes difficult) for all kinds of societal-based hang-ups.

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  5. No, actually, the first poster didn't miss the point at all. They are TOTALLY ON POINT that men are too afraid to even be themselves because of some "unrealistic standard" that society and media sets for men.

    If you're not some 6 foot, ugly and disgusting veiny bodybuilding freak, you're not a real man.

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  6. HAHAHA. I'm sure the first poster "gets" it whilst probably not sharing your judgement and rejection of transmen. Thank god someone has a sense of humor.

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  7. Jane, you are a beautiful person.

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  8. It was a relief to realize I don't have to mutilate myself. That I can be a strong butch (well, mini-butch) woman. I can love myself as I am.

    I don't have to shave, pluck, dye, use makeup, high heels, tight
    skirts or any of that. I don't have to pack, posture, take hormones, or get surgery.

    THANK THE GODDESS for that



    I love this...smart girl...

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  9. There's nothing wrong with being a 4'11 man. Have you ever watched Game of Thrones? Tyrion Lannister (who's played by Peter Dinklage) is 4'5 and he's not just a man.. he's The Man. XD

    There is nothing wrong with being a short man, but being a short guy must be tough. It isn't fair, but short guys get picked on, and if a man is real short, girls who are taller than he is rarely date them. Some of the nicest men I've known were short, but don't tell me that a 4'11" guy wouldn't have a hard time finding a date, and certainly can't play basketball or other sports.

    @e "I've always thought that psychedelics are a far better prescription for 'gender dysphoria' than cross-sex hormones. They're helpful (even if sometimes difficult) for all kinds of societal-based hang-ups."

    I agree...




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  10. Who would've thought that the brain damage caused from LSD would "cure" a transman and turn him into a radical feminist separatist lesbian who hates transpeople? Is this what "cured" Dirt?

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  11. I’m glad Jane didn’t transition. I actually have a friend about 5’0’ who did transition, and a big problem is having to shop in the boys section, being too small for the men’s. So short FtM are stuck with children’s clothes or altering clothes, which usually end up fitting weird. I am 5’5” and men’s small fit me, but if I stand next to a man my height or shorter, I am usually a much smaller person than he, because of female bone structure and having less body mass. I just think people should make the most of what they’ve got and try to stay as healthy as possible.
    Germany

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  12. I took LSD once and thought I had to carry around a peacock feather all day to protect me from evil.

    Did I miss the point?

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  13. All people get attacked for their looks. Thats patriarchy. According to pariarchy you're either too short, too tall, too old, too "masculine", too fat, too this, too that. My g/f is 5'3" and Im 5'8". She's butch I'm femme. She's slim, I'm not. Lol. We both get changing room anxiety. For different "reasons" but its the same body phobia from a culture that we get nervous about confronting at the best of times considering homophobia. She shops online, I buy from charity shops. When we're together we'd rather spend our time enjoying ourselves, so we RARELY go shopping together on the high street!

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  14. I am so glad that you chose to just be yourself, and I wish more people would learn to do that, as well as learn to not force their desires and expectations onto others. What a wonderful world that would be!

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  15. Deciding not to change gender might have been "being herself" for her but it's not for everyone else. I am still in the closet and I am far from "being myself" right now. I never had any actual friends or relationships in my entire adult life and I'm still a virgin despite being in my early 30's. Doesn't "being myself" sound great?

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  16. "No, actually, the first poster didn't miss the point at all. They are TOTALLY ON POINT that men are too afraid to even be themselves because of some "unrealistic standard" that society and media sets for men."

    From what I've seen, men don't really seem to have a problem being "themselves", i.e. men, insofar as "being" a man involves having a woman to act out against. Even transmen seem quite happy to freely "be" men this way, particularly in lesbian community.

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  17. "Deciding not to change gender might have been "being herself" for her but it's not for everyone else. I am still in the closet and I am far from "being myself" right now. I never had any actual friends or relationships in my entire adult life and I'm still a virgin despite being in my early 30's. Doesn't "being myself" sound great?"

    Sounds like you have real issues, though it's unclear those issues are related to "changing gender" (presentation) or not.

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  18. 90% of it is related to gender identity stuff. And I do have some anger issues but they have gotten a LOT better and I'm continuously improving. And no, being a man is not about "acting out against women" WTH is wrong with you? Men are complex human beings too, not this one-dimensional, weaponized "enemy" that just wants to rape all womenkind. Sure, there's a small percentage of rapists in the male population but they don't represent every man you see. If you think you're "oppressed" by "the patriarchy" ( a small group of men you can't see) then you're the one who's oppressing yourself because the power of suggestion/ law of attraction is what makes folks with "victim mentalities" victims.

    And before you spout off with "transgender is all in one's head".. yes, it is. The same way being gay and lesbian is "all in one's head" because we are our brains.

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  19. HAHA, tell me Jane here is trolling, please. That's a good one.

    Kudos for Jane claiming to have taken mind-altering drugs with long-term side-effects and posting this here only to watch all the radfems jump on her bandwagon just because she (through any means necessary) stayed female.

    Good job. 10/10

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  20. "And before you spout off with "transgender is all in one's head".. yes, it is. The same way being gay and lesbian is "all in one's head" because we are our brains."

    Being heterosexual is all in one's head and so is being gay or lesbian. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. These people don't get their healthy genitals lopped off, and their identity isn't in a vial of "T".

    For all practical purposes, any sane person knows that it really isn't possible for a biological male to become a female. Also, biological females can never fully be males. Sex reassignment surgery basically amounts to extensive plastic surgery on one's healthy, fully funtioning breasts and genitals. It doesn't actually change sex. This person is right in that it's all in their minds. Not everyone believes in this fantasy that says males can magically be transformed into females, or females can be males.

    When they do "transition" and get major plastic surgery on their genitals and take cross gender hormones, it's because of something that is basically in their minds. The point is this. There is no way of knowing how much of this desire to transition comes from actual gender dysphoria and how much is everything these 14and 15 year old girls see on countless youtube videos of "T" this and "T" that...pre-T, breast binding, etc. There really is no way of quantifying this.

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  21. "I've always thought that psychedelics are a far better prescription for 'gender dysphoria' than cross-sex hormones. They're helpful (even if sometimes difficult) for all kinds of societal-based hang-ups.

    I took this comment as a joke more than anything else. I don't think dirt or anyone else recommends psychedelics for "gender dysphoria", or for any other reason. On second thought, I've never heard of psychedelics causing PCOS, acne, or any other of the medical side effects of "T".

    If psychedelics really can cure "gender dysphoria" just think of all the money saved on "top surgery" and a life time of "T".

    "HAHA, tell me Jane here is trolling, please. That's a good one.

    Kudos for Jane claiming to have taken mind-altering drugs with long-term side-effects and posting this here only to watch all the radfems jump on her bandwagon just because she (through any means necessary) stayed female.

    Good job. 10/10


    What is with the comment, "just because she (through any means necessary) stayed female. ". She was ALWAYS female if she was born female. This smart girl just realized that gender roles are non-sense, and she doesn't have to mutilate her beautiful female body. I'm especially offended by this statement because it takes a strong girl to resist the sex based roles that forced on girls and women. Girls have to be frilly princess, make up, dress, cool clothes, eye liner, and everyting. Does this person realize the tremendous pressure put on girls and women? I've always argued that it is a revolutionary act in and of itself for any girl or woman to truly love and cherish her body.



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  22. What is with the comment, "just because she (through any means necessary) stayed female. ". She was ALWAYS female if she was born female. This smart girl just realized that gender roles are non-sense, and she doesn't have to mutilate her beautiful female body. I'm especially offended by this statement because it takes a strong girl to resist the sex based roles that forced on girls and women. Girls have to be frilly princess, make up, dress, cool clothes, eye liner, and everyting. Does this person realize the tremendous pressure put on girls and women? I've always argued that it is a revolutionary act in and of itself for any girl or woman to truly love and cherish her body.




    July 10, 2013 at 6:38 PM


    HAHAHA, fucking hilarious. Your WHOLE paragraph was hypocrisy!! You say "Kudos to this girl for ignoring gender and sex roles, and kudos to her for EMBRACING THE FACT THAT SHE IS A WOMAN AND NOTHING MORE THAN A WOMAN AND THAT SHE CAN AND NEVER WILL BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT IS BETWEEN HER LEGS. KUDOS TO HER FOR EMBRACING THAT AND FUELLING US RADFEMS!!"

    If you TRULY were all for throwing away typical gender roles and the patriarchy and all the other foul nonsense you spew (like all men are pigs and rapists, way to go with stereotyping you hypocrite), you wouldn't give two shits if a woman felt more comfortable expressing herself by changing her name and growing a beard.

    Who cares if a woman wants to get her breasts lopped off? Stop body policing, it's not your fucking body, it's hers and she has the right to do whatever she wants to it.

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  23. It's interesting that the people MOST concerned with what their bodies look like and how those bodies are percieved by others are always saying that people are just brains.

    And I was pretty serious about psychedelics being used as therapy; there have been many expamples of their use in curing addictions, PTSD, and other things that getting a totally new perspective on life and the world would help with. They do, when taken with thoughtfulness, tend to blow silly obsessions away, making them look as petty as they really are. (Which is what I think the original poster was getting at.)

    Also, most people would agree that men can be as short and non-macho as they like and still be men! (All of my best friends have always been gentle males.) I even think that men who want to wear flowery frocks and pigtails and inject female hormones and silicone in their asses while calling themselves Lisa are men. I just don't think females are men.

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  24. Great post Jane. Short & simple.
    My first big love was a little shaved headed mini-butch. I am almost 5'8 & she was just scraping 5'3. She was smart, cute, sweet & sexy just the way she was (& still is).
    That is the most amazing & lovable quality... when a woman is happy, healthy & comfortable within herself & doesn't give a flying fuck what a hateful ignorant society thinks of her. Just because they can't handle a woman who doesn't look like a fucking fake Barbie doll soft porn actress... so she must have been meant to be a man & has to change herself, right? Wrong!
    I remember walking down the street with her, not holding hands etc. just walking, & a voice from a parked car saying "look at this chick with her fucking ugly dyke boyfriend". I was very upset & wanted to at least key their car or slash their tires lol. She just laughed & said "like I haven't heard that before. Please... its going to take an orginal or meaningful insult about something I actually did to someone to ruin my day".
    Her resilience just made me love her more. I was proud to walk down the street with her & hold her hand.

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  25. 1) Good for you Jane. Kickass.
    2) I have experienced dysphoria for my entire life. I identified as male for a few years, took T for 8 months, the whole shebang. It's been many years since I stopped believing in the whole "trans" thing as a valid biological entity due to lack of any reputable scientific studies (I'm a scientist, myself, so before any trans-believers jump on me you should understand that I've read many, many primary sources and have come to this conclusion after much research).
    The thing that helps me combat dysphoria and has helped change my thinking about the world and my place in it more than anything has been the use of medical marijuana. It combats the anxiety I experience as related to dysphoria, and it helps me function without obsessing over the bodily issues that I've had for my whole life. Long-term use of medical marijuana has also changed my world-view as a whole in an extremely positive way. Yes, I still experience dysphoria, but I now know how to better manage it and it has dissipated over the years. I hope to one day be fully comfortable in my body, but until then a little MJ is helping me fake it until I make it. FWIW, dysphoria and being uncomfortable in my body and with my primary and secondary sexual characteristics don't make me trans. What I am is a strong, butch female with some body issues that I have to work at to combat. It's a hard path, but it's the right one. Most things that are worth it don't come easy.

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  26. There's too many people destroying their lives with street drugs and alcohol, making their neighbourhoods a hell with gangs, dealers, pimps etc. And your advovating, hey, keep on hiding those feelings with nasty drugs. I hope the government spooks flag this blog. Rehab centres don't even want people to use proscribed anti-anxieaty medication, let alone illegal street drugs.

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  27. Uh-oh, 'Cole Jacob Davis' says 'drugs are bad, mkay?'
    Maybe she doesn't realize that 'medical marijuana' is legal in many parts of the US, certainly not causing societal degradation. But her stance is in line with much of the conservative transsexual worldview.

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  28. @ Cole

    Rehab centres don't even want people to use proscribed anti-anxieaty medication, let alone illegal street drugs.

    I've never been in a drug rehab center. How would Cole know what they do and don't do?

    PROVERBIAL POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK...

    There are 15 year old girls talking about "T". The trans community pushes "T" (testosterone). Young women make youtube videos of their shot of "T", on "T" for one month, on "T" for six months, been on "T" for a year...if I look real close when the lights are on I can see my first chin whisker.

    Giving puberty suppressing drugs to "gender dysphoric" 13 year olds.

    Why are they so hung up on medical marijuana? If this isn't the proverbial pot calling the kettle black, I don't know what is.

    As for me, I don't smoke anything. Medical marijuana is legal in the state that I live in. I have no use for it, but some people do.

    ...Don't smoke that pot...

    ..don't try psychedelics

    GIVE THAT 13 YEAR OLD KID PUBERTY SUPPRESSING DRUGS....TESTOSTERONE AT 16....

    Their whole damn identity is wrapped up in pills, "T" shots, Androgel patches, binders to flatten their female breasts, STP devices, and "top surgery", "bottom surgery" etc. Then they have the audacity to lecture use about drug use....


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  29. I know about rehab policies because I was homeless in Vancouver. I was told to apply to Grey's mansion for a subsidized apartment. The appointment was terrifying because it was in the East End. I was told to stay there, you couldn't even eat chocolates with liquor or poppyseed muffins. How am I the kettle, because I caved in to pressure to take anti depressants from doctors 8 yrs. ago?

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  30. The first time I took LSD I had an epiphany and realized I needed to transition. Did I do it wrong?

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  31. The first time I took LSD I had an epiphany and realized I needed to transition. Did I do it wrong?

    This seems unlikely, but perhaps it's possible? I suppose mental illness can be exacerbated; that seems like a nightmare trip, having your brain telling you its in the 'wrong body?' Dwelling on rather than seeing beyond an obsession? In a way, I'd say yes, you did something wrong if that's how your first trip went, but I don't really believe it.

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  32. This seems unlikely, but perhaps it's possible? I suppose mental illness can be exacerbated; that seems like a nightmare trip, having your brain telling you its in the 'wrong body?' Dwelling on rather than seeing beyond an obsession? In a way, I'd say yes, you did something wrong if that's how your first trip went, but I don't really believe it.

    July 15, 2013 at 3:15 AM


    Actually it's highly likely, being that that sounds to me exactly like an epiphany or an awakening. Also, transgenderism isn't a mental illness, it's a biological condition that has been PROVEN to be a person's body being born with the wrong sex as opposed to their brain.
    I have the proof and the links to it, but every time I've posted it in the comments, Dirt deletes it (deletes the real hard evidence because she doesn't want to be proven wrong).

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  33. Also, transgenderism isn't a mental illness, it's a biological condition that has been PROVEN to be a person's body being born with the wrong sex as opposed to their brain.


    A Critique of the Brain-Sex Theory of Transsexualism

    article by Anne A. Lawrence, M.D., Ph.D., 2007


    "The brain-sex theory of transsexualism has never been easy to reconcile with clinical reality: Homosexual and nonhomosexual MtF transsexualism are so different clinically that it is almost impossible to imagine that they could have the same etiology. Nevertheless, for a time the Zhou/Kruijver data gave the brain-sex theory a certain superficial plausibility. In 2002, Chung et al. reported new data that raised serious doubts about the brain-sex theory, but the authors were able to explain why the theory might still be plausible. The new data reported by Hulshoff Pol et al. in 2006 did not invalidate these explanations, but it rendered them largely irrelevant. The simplest and most plausible explanation of the Zhou/Kruijver findings is that they are attributable, completely or predominantly, to the effects of cross-sex hormone therapy administered during adulthood. There is no longer any reason to postulate anything more complicated.

    The brain-sex theory was never helpful in explaining clinical observations; now it has become irrelevant to explaining neuroanatomical observations. It is time to abandon the brain-sex theory of transsexualism and to adopt a more plausible and clinically relevant theory in its place."

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  34. Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference

    book by Cordelia Fine, 2011


    Drawing on the latest research in neuroscience and psychology, Cordelia Fine debunks the myth of hardwired differences between men’s and women’s brains, unraveling the evidence behind such claims as men’s brains aren’t wired for empathy and women’s brains aren’t made to fix cars. She then goes one step further, offering a very different explanation of the dissimilarities between men’s and women’s behavior. Instead of a “male brain” and a “female brain,” Fine gives us a glimpse of plastic, mutable minds that are continuously influenced by cultural assumptions about gender.

    From a review of Fine’s work in the Washington Post:


    Fine gives these scientists no quarter, and her beef isn’t just with brain scanners. Consider her critique of a widely cited study of babies’ gazes, conducted when the infants were just a day and a half old. The study found that baby girls were much more likely to gaze at the experimenter’s face, while baby boys preferred to look at a mobile. The scientists took these results as evidence that girls are more empathic than boys, who are more analytic than girls — even without socialization. The problem, not to put too fine a point on it, is that it’s a lousy experiment. Fine spends several pages systematically discrediting the study, detailing flaw after flaw in its design. Again, it’s a somewhat technical, methodological discussion, but an important one, especially since this study has become a cornerstone of the argument that boys and girls have a fundamental difference in brain wiring.

    By now, you should be getting a feeling for the tone and texture of this book. Fine offers no original research on the brain or gender; instead, her mission is to demolish the sloppy science being used today to justify gender stereotypes — which she labels “neurosexism.” She is no less merciless in attacking “brain scams,” her derisive term for the many popular versions of the idea that sex hormones shape the brain, which then shapes behavior and intellectual ability, from mathematics to nurturance.

    Two of her favorite targets are John Gray, author of the “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” books, and Louann Brizendine, author of “The Female Brain” and “The Male Brain.” Fine’s preferred illustration of Gray’s “neurononsense” is his discussion of the brain’s inferior parietal lobe, or IPL. The left IPL is more developed in men, the right IPL in women, which for Gray illuminates a lot: He says this anatomical difference explains why men become impatient when women talk too long and why women are better able to respond to a baby crying at night. Fine dismisses such conclusions as nothing more than “sexism disguised in neuroscientific finery.”

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  35. Brain Storm: The Flaws in the Science of Sex Differences

    book by Rebecca M. Jordan-Young, 2010


    In this compelling book, Rebecca Jordan-Young takes on the evidence that sex differences are hardwired into the brain. Analyzing virtually all published research that supports the claims of “human brain organization theory,” Jordan-Young reveals how often these studies fail the standards of science. Even if careful researchers point out the limits of their own studies, other researchers and journalists can easily ignore them because brain organization theory just sounds so right. But if a series of methodological weaknesses, questionable assumptions, inconsistent definitions, and enormous gaps between ambiguous findings and grand conclusions have accumulated through the years, then science isn’t scientific at all.

    Elegantly written, this book argues passionately that the analysis of gender differences deserves far more rigorous, biologically sophisticated science. “The evidence for hormonal sex differentiation of the human brain better resembles a hodge-podge pile than a solid structure … Once we have cleared the rubble, we can begin to build newer, more scientific stories about human development.”

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