I haven't transitioned because I am 4'11" tall.
At least that was what prevented me when I was 18. I tried to pass as
a man but I could only pass as a young boy. Not what I wanted.
I knew since I was 5 that something was wrong. I didn't hate my body
then, but I saw what females were FOR and that was clearly not what I
was about. I figured I would grow up to be a man someday. As the years
went by, I got more and more anxious about gender. (We called it "sex
roles" back then.)
When I was 20, I took acid. Then came the revelation. IT'S NOT ME.
There's nothing wrong with me. Gender is a trap, an illusion, a
falsehood. There are two boxes. I don't fit in a box.
It was a relief to realize I don't have to mutilate myself. That I can
be a strong butch (well, mini-butch) woman. I can love myself as I am.
I don't have to shave, pluck, dye, use makeup, high heels, tight
skirts or any of that. I don't have to pack, posture, take hormones,
or get surgery.
THANK THE GODDESS for that.
-- Jane Doe
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