English is not my first language, but I try to tell my story.
I'm born in the 60's as a female and I always wanted to be a boy. I had long hair and dresses until I became 8 years old. At that point I refused to wear dresses and wanted a short haircut. After weeks of asking I got my haircut and boys clothes and since that time I really looked like a boy. I played with cars and joined the local soccer club. Nobody believed that I was a girl and I loved living as a boy.
I became older and fell in love with girls. At that time I wanted to become a real boy, with penis and everything.
At the age of 13 I heard about lesbians for the first time and I was so happy! I could stay the way I was and still be with a girl! I continued acting like a boy, but my penis wish was gone. I didn't need one to be with a girl.
I dressed as a guy all my life and all my interests are guy things.
The first time I heard about transitioning from female to male was 14 years ago. It blew my mind and I was interested right away. I started following a few FTM's online.
It made me think a lot, was I a man too? It was tempting to transition, but was I really transgender?
I never hated my female body. I wanted to look like a guy, but I was happy with my body and my vagina. It works very well and it's me. My urge to do guy things it more about interests and looks, it's not physical.
I never wanted breasts, but they're there and a part of me. I don't mind them, it's just a part of my body.
They never bothered me. I would like a flat chest, but I would never remove my breasts, that idea is so wrong. I'm healthy and no way I'm gonna take testosterone or surgery to become something I can never be.
I'm very happy the way I am. I identify as a female, but it's not a big thing. It's about who I am, I'm a woman who likes guy stuff. I'm somewhere inbetween man and woman and I don't carewhat it's called. I love the woman I became and the life I live. If I wanna wear man's underwear then I wear man's underwear. Nobody tells me what to do or who I am. It's so stereotypical to think that certain roles belong to a certain gender.
I don't identify as butch, because there are no butches where I live (Netherlands).
Long story short: you don't have to become a guy in order to live as a guy. Life is all about freedom and you choose who you are and how you wanna live your life. You can do that as yourself, you don't have to become somebody else.