Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Trans Trending-Who is Transitioning-Dedicated to Mr. Paris Lees (age 16) (age 19) (age 19) (age 16) (age 17) (age 22) (age 23) (age ?) (age ?)

In the past several weeks I have been regularly corresponding with several trans females who are working to de-transition.  Fortunately beyond taking T for several years, neither have had any mutilative surgeries. But from what I have gathered in speaking with them, their physical changes are only a minor issue in their fears of ceasing and desisting hormone therapy. Their greatest fear is grounded in what those closest to them will think and the shame and embarrassment of telling those closest to them, they have make a serious mistake.

In what has become years of making this particular weekly post, I cannot even hazard a guess as to how many of these Trans Trenders have found themselves caught in this very same dilemma. Whats worse is I cannot bear to contemplate how many of these Trans Trenders realized even before they began hormone therapy of their mistake, but chose to continue with transition simply because of their fears of an I told you so!

Youthful pride!

Pride born out of dramatic familial scenes of screams and cries and poundings on their breasts that they exclaimed to confused parents were hateful to them! Razor blade arms and wrists cut up just to relieve some of the internal pain of a body they have been convinced wasnt really theirs! Depressions and sometimes even feeble suicide attempts till parents and loved ones finally gave in, finally agreed transition must be the answer!!! But the answer to what? Sadly for all involved in transdom this is where they questions stop.

As a heads up to readers, I will be doing a full post on the fears/shames that are arresting trans regret/de-transition quite soon. 



  1. "Their greatest fear is grounded in what those closest to them will think and the shame and embarrassment of telling those closest to them, they have make a serious mistake."

    This was one of my fears. I see the same pattern with trans kids as those with ED (in fact both my siblings have ED) many of us have very demanding, perfectionist families.

    If theres any family of transitioners reading this, the best thing you can do is let them know that if they ever change their mind, you still love them and you won't hold it over them that they made a mistake. Let them know its never too late to go back.

  2. While you make good points, the way you say them lack empathy and compassion. This entry implies to the reader you are harsh, brash, and condescending which does nothing for your cause. The ones you probably need to affect the most will be turned off by such off-putting advice. There is hate in your voice. It's disheartening.

  3. If you sense "hate", you may want to look within.


  4. Perhaps the only self-harm I'm doing is reading your negative blog. You have the right idea, but your blog has hate written all over it, and if you think it doesn't, you're delusional.

  5. If you're that upset then I suggest for your own good you stop reading.


  6. Why did you dedicate this to Paris?

  7. "There is hate in your voice. It's disheartening."

    Of course, there is no hate whatsoever in the mutilation of healthy female bodies. Because it's so pervasive and so utterly entrenced in cultural views of women, it's often overlooked. The various forms of misogonistic hate towards women in all its myriad of forms simply would be too much to properly describe in this little blog.

  8. Dedicated to Mr. Lees

    In an editorial by Paris Lees in which he interviews a seven-teen year old trans sex worker, Mr. Lees essentially says being a seven-teen year old trans sex worker is fine and not the problem. The problem is the way society judges people. It all falls under the general idea of "bodily autonomy". Paris Lees is just another pro-porn, pro-BDSM man who wears way too much eye liner and make up. With all the dark eye liner, I guess he tries to look like Cher, but he doesn’t quite pull it off. There is nothing unique or special about him. I do admit, however, that he does have good taste in dresses, blouses, skirts, and ladies clothes.

    As it relates to seven-teen year old trans sex workers, or the general subject of prostitution, it’s as he states, “Ultimately these are matters of bodily autonomy.”

    Well, Mr. Lees, this has very little to do with the statement, “ultimately these are matters of bodily autonomy”. While Mr. Lees goes on at great length about “bodily autonomy”, prostitution and pornography is demeaning to women and seven-teen year old trans sex workers who male patrons rent. In reality, is there such a thing as “bodily autonomy” involved in pornography and prostitution? After all, if the prostitutes and porn actors and actresses don’t appear as sexually alluring as possible, they are quickly dumped for some younger piece of meat. Is this “bodily autonomy”? When this seven-teen year old trans sex worker gets older, and possibly contacts HIV or some other disease, he will simply be tossed aside like a used condom. To me, it appears that “bodily autonomy” has nothing to do with the sex industry. Many sex workers were sexually abused as children, and are repeatedly abused and raped in unimaginably ways. Some have no idea what “bodily autonomy” means. They are systematically broken down to the point that they are conditioned to detach from their bodies in order to survive.

  9. Below is part of the editorial by Paris Lees, “Bodily autonomy: confessions of a transsexual sex worker”

    “When I learned she was turning tricks I rolled my eyes and said “Ooh you little scamp!”.

    I was unimpressed with a flurry of comments I saw on Facebook which condemned Ria’s massage parlour job as “morally wrong”. The commenters were otherwise supportive of her transition; a bizarre case of “We don’t mind you letting a doctor reshape your genitals, but you’re not allowed to rent them”. Some defended her with the rather sweet, but utterly condescending I-was-no-angel-at-her-age-we-all-do-stupid-things argument. What about students who fund their university education through sex work? Are they stupid? And why can’t we be angels and promiscuous? And who, precisely, are these perfect people passing judgement on others? It makes me feel like going out on the beat, just so I can report back how deliciously unashamed I am.
    We’re all judgemental at times. I once had a friend who enjoyed sticking hooks in his back and hanging from the ceiling; apparently this induces euphoria. I think it’s repulsive. That is not, however, the same as believing it to be wrong, which I don’t. And what exactly does “wrong” mean anyway? It’s a suspiciously slippery concept. All we really have are the consequences of our actions – in my friend’s case, stretched back-skin. That’s no skin off my nose though.

    Ultimately these are matters of bodily autonomy. I can give others permission to touch my body – and frequently do – or not; to feed it exotic chemical substances, and also to instruct surgeons to slice it up and pop it back together in shapes of my choosing. If my body ever develops a serious, painful illness, I also reserve the right to orchestrate its demise. My body is a temple: mine to decorate, mine to defile and mine to destroy. And I’ll invite whoever I bloody well like to worship there. You have this right too. We all do.

    We also have the right to charge for entry.”

    Do seven-teen year old trans sex workers really have the right to charge entry into their bodies?

  10. As a former sex worker I would like to say that no one has a right to interfer with the sexual choices of others, so long as no one is doing something they do not want to do.

    If I let some one shag me for money I need to stay in a home and groceries that is my buisness and no one elses.

    I do not care what 'your' morals say about it, my morals allow for it and that is how that is.

  11. Oh, now that you put it that way ('If I let some one shag me for money I need to stay in a home and groceries that is my buisness and no one elses') I see that prostitution is a noble and admirable occupation. Let's tell all the women being sex-trafficked around the world that it's a valid and even cutting-edge work choice to let their bodies be used for males' pleasure.

  12. It must be very tough to admit that you wanna stop transitioning once you've started. I wonder where this hype is going and how many will regret it.

    Here's a young (16) Trans Trender who decided to "try to live as a woman":
    I applaud her, it takes guts to do this.

  13. How I wish people would understand that there's no such thing as 'living as a woman' aside of course from 'being treated as a woman' (which generally means badly, which is the real thing that needs to 'transition!')