Change Your World-NOT your Body

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The Lesbian Community

What would you as a lesbian like to see changed about the current lesbian community and lesbian politic?

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20 comments:

  1. Less politics, less judgment and more humanity, respect, compassion, humility, forgiveness, kindness and flexibility.

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  2. Hmm given all the legal rights that lesbians have lost in the last 20 years and how liberalism has over ran the community, your comment seems ill informed to say the least.

    dirt

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  3. Lesbians should quit being so picky and learn to like peen.

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  4. I would like to respond to this post:

    "Less politics, less judgment and more humanity, respect, compassion, humility, forgiveness, kindness and flexibility"

    less politics (no we need more politics because lesbian identity, especially butch lesbian identity is being erased by gender queer and trans activists - the trans activists were able to shut down the RadFem 2012 conference - they don't give a rat's patooty about us)

    less judgment and more humanity(it's hard not to be judgmental when someone's boot is on on your neck)

    respect (respect must be earned)

    compassion (compassion is good, but compassion shouldn't be confused with being someone's door mat and not standing up for your rights - women are conditioned not to directly ask for what we want)

    humility( humility is overrated, but knowing one's abilities and short comings is essential)

    forgiveness (sometimes forgiveness is for sissies, forgiveness requires repentance on the part of the aggressor or perpetrator)

    kindness and flexibility (basic human kindness is essential, but I'm not sure what flexibility means)

    I would like to see more politics mixed in with a smattering of humor. Politics gets too boring, so throwing in a little humor now and then is good. Also, I would like to see more personal stories, or articles about how individuals experience different situations.

    As to the post "Lesbians should quit being so picky and learn to like peen", this person is bat crap crazy - hell no!

    Is this an attempt at humor, or is this person serious?

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  5. Less obsessions with labels. If someone has been with men a long time ago, but no longer, they are not necessarily "bi-sluts," as some fanatics refer to women like me.

    Also, less obsession with straight society and acceptance. Instead of begging everyone to stop beating up gay kids, we need our own schools, online if necessary. Whenever I read the latest horror story, I wonder, why didn't that kid just stop going to school and get a G.E.D. online? It's like, gay people and lesbians can't even imagine that we can create everything for ourselves. No, only straight people can help us, is what I'm seeing right now.

    Also, women should stop giving their energy to every cause but ours. I read all the time about intersectionality, privilege, who is more oppressed...this is the way to FAIL. IMO, a woman is a woman, regardless of her color, dating history, etc. If some political fanatic/hipster shouts me down because I'm white and dated men 20 years ago, that's not a serious person. We need to stop being so petty.

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  6. "less politics (no we need more politics because lesbian identity, especially butch lesbian identity is being erased by gender queer and trans activists - the trans activists were able to shut down the RadFem 2012 conference - they don't give a rat's patooty about us)"

    It's not shut down they just changed it. If anything the women will now fight even more against the trans oppressors.

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  7. We need more community and more support. If you're in an unfamiliar city, it can be hard to find the lesbian community. And if you're not in a big city, sometimes there is no lesbian community.

    A friend of mine got kicked out by her parents. She ended up supporting herself by screwing men. She got raped. If there were more social acceptance, she might not have been kicked out. If there were stronger lesbian communities, she might not have had to do that to survive. If there weren't this persecution of women in prostitution, she might have been safer. I don't think we can solve these problems with prohibition. I think we need harm reduction and decriminalization and an end to patriarchy and capitalism.

    I think we need more butch visibility. I think we need more lesbian visibility in general outside the big cities. I think we need more feminist visibility, especially on the really basic stuff that radfems and libfems and queer theorists have in common, because I'm sick of queer theorists who think femaleness is second-best to androgyny/genderqueer and I'm sick of radfems who think harm reduction is collaborating with the patriarchy.

    -Mary

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  8. “A friend of mine got kicked out by her parents. She ended up supporting herself by screwing men. She got raped. If there were more social acceptance, she might not have been kicked out. If there were stronger lesbian communities, she might not have had to do that to survive. If there weren't this persecution of women in prostitution, she might have been safer. I don't think we can solve these problems with prohibition. I think we need harm reduction and decriminalization and an end to patriarchy and capitalism.”

    “…and I'm sick of radfems who think harm reduction is collaborating with the patriarchy.”

    I’m so sorry that your friend sold her body to support herself. As for me, I would rather sweep floors or clean toilets than have strangers screw me for money. I would rather shovel **it than have men screw me for money. I guess I’m strange that way. I do not know your friend so I really don’t have any right to judge anyone, but there are other ways to survive. When I was unemployed, I slept in my car for two weeks, and all I had to eat were a few crackers and small cans of juice. I know it’s tough, but there are food banks and shelters.
    What exactly does “harm reduction” mean? Does this mean taking care of the woman, then sending her back on the street to prostitute herself? Who benefits from this? Well, the pimp does. I have a radical idea. Why not do everything humanly possible to keep her off the street. Does “harm reduction” mean taking care of the health care needs of women so they can continue to perform any sex act imaginable in front of a camera? Is this “harm reduction”? If this is your idea of “harm reduction”, then you should have attended the Philadelphia Trans Health Conference. At this conference, there was a workshop for FTM in the sex industry, or FTM interested in becoming sex workers. The simple truth is this. The trans community does, indeed, get a great deal of support from the lucrative porn industry. This is one reason they are far more powerful and have more clout than lesbian feminists and butch lesbians.

    I’m very confused about this statement.

    “…and I'm sick of radfems who think harm reduction is collaborating with the patriarchy.”

    Again, I’m confused about all this talk about “harm reduction”. If “harm reduction” relates to pornography and prostitution, then I do, indeed, believe that this is collaborating with patriarchy. It certainly is collaborating with trans activists. Isn’t Buck Angel the FTM porn star awesome? When Buck Angel does MTF/gay men/straight men/ and whomever for money, isn’t this fabulous? So, you want to continue in the sex industry in one form or another, but you expect lesbians to support you. Well, perhaps we don’t want HIV and other diseases in our community. Now, I’m going to say something that I know might offend someone. There is no way I would ever sleep with a woman who screws men for money. If this makes me a horrible, prejudicial person, then so be it.

    At any rate, I sincerely hope your friend is safe and well, and I hope she finds another way to support herself.

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  9. Hi. I’m the first Anon, 9:27 PM

    To Anon 11:29 PM:

    You make some good points. The points I made and those you added need to be a 2-way street. The only thing I disagree with is that respect should be earned. This presupposes that all our interactions with people begin with dis-respect until people prove themselves ‘worthy’. I personally begin with a default position of respect, which shrinks or grows as I get to know people.

    Humor & FUN: Yes!

    Since feminism has always said that the personal is political, I’d like to see LGBT politics be more personal and I think your point about learning from others’ personal experiences and situations is bang on to make this happen. What I meant by flexibility is open-mindedness (to a point), where we accept others’ experiences as valid and not compare them to others or our own because judgment underlies comparisons and leaves us spinning our wheels in debate wars.

    “It's like, gay people and lesbians can't even imagine that we can create everything for ourselves. No, only straight people can help us, is what I'm seeing right now.” (Anon 12:28 AM):

    Great point! We need do more hands-on creating and shaping of our lives and communities, and depend on others less to give us what we want and need.

    Re. prostitution vs. shoveling **it: not everyone has the luxury of such a "choice".

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  10. Not all homosexual (or bisexual males or) fmales believe T should be included with L,G, and B. I think the T should be removed since it's quite a separate issue. I know the above poster (who seems like a male-transitioner from all the points in the other thread about how women's strength lies in our softness and vulnerability) has these groovy ideas of everyone loving each other, but why have a 'community' of common interest at all if it must be inclusive of the whole world?

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  11. On the radio they just played a clip of Obama speaking to an LGBT group... how did 'trans' stick itself to gayness so completely and quickly (and seemingly permanently)?

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  12. The only reason the T is a part of the GLB(T) community is because almost all Transfolks (especially ftms)sprung directly from the GLB. Now I am not saying that the T belongs there because I know it doesn't. Just saying that most started out in the GLB before they decided to butcher themselves

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  13. Oh I think the big-big FTM trend started well after T was grouped with LGB. That's why many kids consider being 'trans' no different really than being 'gay' "If people can say they 'know' they're gay, then that means I can say I 'know' I'm 'trans.'

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  14. T isnt really the issue, it is the L not being represented, specific lesbians needs not being met or even fought for, and lesbian visibility diminishing under the weight of the queer umbrella period. This has been going on since the early 70's when lesbian political groups were coxed into joining the Gay Liberation Front.

    dirt

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  15. To the first commenter, I can agree with everything you said except the "less politics" part. I would like to see space for lesbians to have conversations about lesbianism today. For example, why do so many lesbians want or feel pressured into using strap-ons? Is this what we really want? What about the role of s/m in the lesbian community? Do we feel lesbianism is really biological, or is that something we are taught by gay men's groups?

    It seems a lot of people don't really want to think about these things, because it's easier just to go with the flow. Easier maybe, but in the long run, is it worth it?

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  16. The first poster was a male so of course that's what he wants.
    I do like using a strapon sometimes if she likes it- it's nice to free up the hands & mouth
    it's nothing new! lesbians have been doing that for literally centuries

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  17. I would like more space to discuss personal stories and what these mean. Kind of like old fashioned consciousness faising groups. Not that I was around when they existed, I am just basing this on what I have read. I guess blogs and online stuff does this a bit, but I think it could be expanded. Its a great place for lesbians to start as well in terms of politics. There are some great books and online resources, but sharing stories and discussing these can be a great way to explore politics and political ideas in real contexts.

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  18. To anon 3:06 PM: I know you won't care, but I find your attitude that you are superior to women who enter the sex industry to be really...condescending. I do agree that no women should be patched back up and then thrown out on the streets to be abused again.

    I encourage women to check out survivorsconnect.wordpress.com for actual writings by prostitution survivors. These discuss the reasons they got involved in prostitution

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  19. So long as there are lesbians working with the LGBT, the L stays firmly attached to the soup.
    At my local LGBT center there are a number of lesbians who are volenteering time and money. Some of the local board of directors and the local President are lesbians.
    You will have to do better than say the L needs to be removed to get it acomplished.

    To remove the L from LGBT you will be forcing many women out from the organisation against their will.

    Impase`.

    What to do now?
    How to resolve the situation?

    Form a lesbian only national group that focuses solely on women and lesbian issues.
    Instead of tearing down someone elses club house, let us build our own.

    One simply can not co-opt other women. Even when they are dead wrong and deserve it. To do that would be to emulate that which is batteled against. That is properly called: grotesque.

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  20. Grotesque is the orgs that were created and ran by lesbians (lesbians who risked their lives) are now over ran with "queers".

    It is up to each and ever lesbian, IF she truly wants to make the world a better place for her and future lesbians, we not only created our own spaces, we boycott all others.

    dirt

    ReplyDelete

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