Change Your World-NOT your Body

Friday, March 16, 2012

Challenging Dysphoria-A series of Talks

What are some of the unhealthy/harmful things you have done to yourself in order to try and battle body dysphoria?

What are some of the positive/healthy things you have utilized to battle body dysphoria?

dirt


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7 comments:

  1. I self harmed for a number of years trying to battle a number of things, including warped body image. I took drugs to try and feel 'right' in my body. I used to sticky tape my breasts in place when I was alone just to feel some relief.

    Time did me good, also doing martial arts helped me see my body as functional rather than just aesthetic. I still have some dissociation from my parts of my body but its become less unpleasant/scary as time goes on. It helped me a ton not to be surrounded by other dysphoric people. Being around positive people who get on with thier lives sets a good example.

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  2. MNDR,

    How are you with calling yourself, being called a "woman"?

    dirt

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  3. Honestly Dirt, being called a woman sounds strange to me. but I'm trying to challenge why that is rather than rejecting the word. I call myself female no probs.

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  4. MNDR, it took me many years to be OK with it. Be proud of yourself for challenging your uncomfortableness, it is the beginning of healing the misogyny we've internalized since birth.

    dirt

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  5. Thanks Dirt.

    For a long time I had an unhealthy view of women that I didnt realise was misogyny. I thought I cant be a misogynist because I think women are better than men - I'm not honest enough, kind enough, mentally stable enough to be a woman. Actually putting women on a pedestal is dehumanising and its a type of misogyny.

    When a girl says she cant be female because she treats women like shit and feels superior to them, the link with misogyny is obvious. But when a girl cant identify as a woman because she enjoys being abused and 'othered' by women, thats a less obvious kind of misogyny. I think it doesnt get discussed so much because superficially it comes across as man-hating (ID'ing with men cos they're worthless shits) but I believe its just another twist on misogyny and the end result is the same - females get hurt.

    Sorry if i went off topic, but it does link with body dysphoria which I didnt know how to explain earlier. I had/have this warped view of my body as being ugly and 'male' looking, with female parts on it that dont 'fit' because I dont 'deserve' them. I understand this isnt the typical narrative of gender/body dysphoria but I hope its ok to share it.

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  6. MNDR,

    You're absolutely right. I have seen far too many female transitioners claiming they cannot be misogynist because they love and adore women. They fail to see the the misogyny behind their (sexist) adoration.

    For most of my childhood/teen years I too thought I was ugly. Ugly because I looked nothing like my female peers. I remember at some point in grade school realizing most of the attractive students were friends with each other. I found it strange that those same student were friends with me, given how ugly I believed I was.

    I too judged attractiveness based on the combination of the male gaze and the Gender Straight Jacket, neither of which I was ever or ever wanted to subscribe to.

    dirt

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  7. Drinking whiskey. Self-harm. Having PIV with men. Allowing myself to be verbally, emotionally, physically abused.

    Now, I run about 2 miles a night. I am a fast woman. I love other women. SO MUCH. I wish there were some way for me to tell them... all of them. I still struggle with drinking. And, what do I do when male strangers touch me without asking? I want to hurt them, but I don't want to get arrested.

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