Change Your World-NOT your Body

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

A Girl's Boyhood and the Misunderstanding of being a Girl

I have no memory of when I eschewed dresses or other clothes deemed "girls", but have been told it happened around the time I began walking. I do recall when I was three, my older brother and I were staying with our aunt and uncle while our parents went deer hunting, that my aunt paid me $5 dollars to wear a matching dress with my cousin Sherry and have our picture taken. My uncle still has the picture on his wall, that was the last time I wore a dress. The following year, my dad bought me my first mini-bike, I already had my own fishing pole and BB gun, also bought for me by my dad. I dont recall my ma ever putting up a fight with my dad to conform my brother or I to the gender straight jacket. In fact the day I was born, 9 months pregnant, when my ma, dad and brother went fishing that morning, my ma still helped my dad carry the boat.

Neither of my parents ever tried to discourage me from having only boy friends, they never pushed me to have girl friendships, which I had no interest in having as a child/teen. Girls I saw never rode wheelies, jumped ramps on their bikes, caught toads and field mice, threw rocks, played football or "smear the queer", but boys did and so did I. I never tried to fit in with boys, I just did. We liked similar things, laughed at similar jokes, had similar abilities. From age four on, growing up, the neighbor guy across the street in fact called me "little boy". But for all the free access I had to my strange boyhood, strange because I experienced it as a girl, it didnt change the horrors that were in store for me, nor my horror in experiencing them.

The horrors, being puberty...

We constantly read in trans comments, how ungendered their childhoods were, what "sensitive" men and what "strong" women they grew up with. How given these "sensitive" men and "strong" women unstereotyped their upbringings, proving that their uncomfortableness and sometimes down right hatred of their female bodies and female bodily functions are clearly because they were "born in the wrong" bodies. While not having "girl" shoved down your throat at home certainly makes life easier, it doesnt change the incessant "boy"/"girl" messages that enter our eyes and ears as soon as we leave the safety of our mother's womb. Nor can being treated in a way we feel comfortable as a girl change the dysphoria puberty creates in many of us. This isnt a signal that there is something wrong with us, nor is it a signal that we are anything but what we are: female.


It is however a signal that years of sexist messages about females, years of ignoring the female that we are and years of our bodies changing before our eyes in ways we learn to despise can make us wish we were either male or dead. And until we can admit just how Butch Shame/Female Shame develops and how detrimentally it affects some of us, this homophobic nonsense of being "born in the wrong body" will persist.

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31 comments:

  1. " this homophobic nonsense of being "born in the wrong body" will persist"

    Yep, I'm afraid that really seems to be what it is! Magic voice in the brain, or unconscious sense of 'gender identity' trounces genes, hormones, bodily organs, or genitalia in the trans cant. Because otherwise they'd have to admit that the sad truth -- they're female, and in a way that society and the set of internal rules that have been drummed into them since birth, says is the WRONG way of being female. Better accept what those NICE doctors and psychiatrists say, that they can be a real boy if they really want, because even a legally-certified surgicaly constructed simulacrum of a hetero male is BETTER than being a bloody dyke!

    And as long as they're not so embarrassing to look at that they frighten people in the street, and as long as they stick to other freaks like themselves, or those god-damn supposed lesbians who are the only women who will sleep with them, REAL men aren't worried, because (snigger, snigger) real men know that any woman worth having can tell the difference between what they've got, and a real dick.

    Transmen aren't a threat to the patriarchy or to REAL men, because in a way, REAL men must think it funny that they're so envious of what they can never really have. And who cares if they take themselves out of the market of fuckable women, because they were so damn ugly as dykes, no REAL man would have been desperate enough to fancy them anyway. And it just tells the men what they knew already, that having a dick is the BEST thing a human can have......

    O, the patriarchy must be laughing their socks off at this one, worked BETTER than they ever expected! Why didn't we think of it earlier?

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  2. O, and I forgot to add, it also has the advantage of giving the surgeons a whole load of willing guinea-pigs, so they can do a good job when any REAL man is unfortunate enough to have a nasty accident downstairs and needs things put back together...........

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  3. On the other hand? Real men don't need a dick to feel like men. I know, my uncle lost a lot of his parts to cancer. 'Even grew some boobs cause of the hormones they gave him in his treatment. He knows he's a man. He's not worried about the damned parts.
    He's glad to be alive, and is every bit the proud Marine he always was.

    These women will never be men. Dicks, no dicks, chin hair, whatever. DNA says "F". They just don't have the balls (HA HA HA) (yes, pun intended, and irony as well,) to "man up" and be WOMEN in the way THEY CHOOSE TO BE.

    "If ya can't beat 'em join 'em" has to be the most cowardly response to social justice their is.

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  4. >>social justice their is.<<

    I'd like to buy an "in" to go with that
    "justice" please. ; )

    "Can't beat 'em join 'em is the most
    cowardly response to social INjustice
    their is!"

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  5. >>"Can't beat 'em join 'em is the most
    cowardly response to social INjustice
    their is!"<<

    Oh Christ.

    *THERE* is, not "their is".

    See? Proceed, procede.

    Let me tell you something ladies, take
    good care of your bodies out there. Breast cancer is hell. I hate chemo brain!
    Live healthy! Take care of yourselves!
    Rock on, forever!

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  6. "*THERE* is, not "their is"."

    I do it as well, I think the inferior 'type' program my brain is running just gets confused with homophones. Which is kind of interesting, I obviously 'hear' what I intend to say, then translate into typing commands.

    "They just don't have the balls (HA HA HA) (yes, pun intended, and irony as well,) to "man up" and be WOMEN in the way THEY CHOOSE TO BE."

    My wife said much the same about a friend of ours who unfortunately seems to be joining the trans trend, based on very strict ideas about gender roles. She said she should just 'grow a pair' and do what she wants anyway. Mind you, she was a woman mechanic in the Navy for 25 years, so knows a bit about doing that (as well as knowing more than our deluded friend about what men are REALLY like in the company of other men, when they're not toning down their behaviour because there are 'ladies' present (a female chief pettt officer didn't count as a lady!).

    Although matelots aren't too bad as men go, she will admit.........

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  7. Yeah, I feel sorry for the poor sad ******** who are "FTM" and "gay male". Just... so much hatred of their own bodies. So much fear of their own bodies. They call us transphobic for fighting to expand the definition of "woman" for ourselves; for having the courage to find a way though all sorts of fear, pain, and horror and still know that through it all, the DNA says "F" and by god, "F" I will be! We're trasphobic because we're not so gynophobic we're chopping ourselves to shreds? I too have worked around men all my life and been privy to some of those conversations. If it weren't so sad, it would be amusing to know people are stripping the skin from their arms and bellies just to have dangly bits to get into a men's loo. It just takes a special kind of crazy. I git tard o' bein' called "phobic".
    I ain't skirred of "trans". I just think it's a waste of a healthy female mind and body to Picasso the hell out of it and still never change the DNA. But dey sho az hayull skirred o' deyselves. It's just a slow form of suicide-- and sadly, sometimes it's not so slow. God bless the lost.

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  8. "They call us transphobic for fighting to expand the definition of "woman" for ourselves; for having the courage to find a way though all sorts of fear, pain, and horror and still know that through it all, the DNA says "F" and by god, "F" I will be!"

    Lets just clear this up, because this childishness is getting a little more than annoying.

    First off, GOOD FOR YOU!

    Second off, you are not called transphobic because of the above, you are called tranphobic because you are intolerant, dismissive, hateful, and pompously discrimilatory towards those who identify as transgender because of your OWN personal beliefs. THAT is why you are transphobic. Please put the brakes on your defensive rhetoric and walk the walk in addition to talking the talk.

    "We're trasphobic because we're not so gynophobic we're chopping ourselves to shreds?"

    This is a completely anti-empathetic, transphobic statement. Are you serious? ...."chopping ourselves to shreds"

    What, are you dense or do you truly not understand what you have just said or how you do not give a rats ass whose feelings it tramples all over just for your own selfish benefit of sounding off for your OWN 'precious' pseudo-feminist beliefs? Truly.

    "I git tard o' bein' called "phobic".
    I ain't skirred of "trans". I just think it's a waste of a healthy female mind and body to Picasso the hell out of it and still never change the DNA. But dey sho az hayull skirred o' deyselves. It's just a slow form of suicide-- and sadly, sometimes it's not so slow. God bless the lost."

    This idiotic rambling truly deserves no comment, but I will just this once, because I don't know whether to be more offended at the utter lack of intelligence or the statement itself.

    Let's translate this into homophobe speak (a brethrin language of yours, and minus the idiocy, of course):

    "It takes a special kind of crazy. I get tired of being called 'homophobic'. I'm not scared of these dykes. I just think its a waste of a healthy female mind and body (pussy) to Picasso the hell out of God's word and still never be able to have children: which is all these misguided women are naturally meant to do with a MAN. But they sure should be scared of themselves. It's just a slow form of suicide. They are responsible for the human race not progressing (and all STDs). Sometimes it's not so slow. God bless the lost."

    There you have it. Do not respond to this telling the differences between being trangender and being homosexual.

    I know one of you slow individuals may attempt that argument.

    But I will nip that in the bud in saying that the differences between homosexuality and transsexualism are fully APPERANT, EVIDENT, and absolutely postivily IRRELEVENT.

    This was meant to show you people who you really are. Who your way of thinking is modeled after.

    Fox news agrees with you...if that makes you feel any better about yourselves.

    My only advice to those of you who wish to be feminists, but cannot because of your dispicable lack of empathy, humility, and good sense....

    is to EDUCATE YOURSELVES and shut up and LISTEN to those that you choose to judge and prosecute. The world is so much larger than the confines of your thin small minds.

    Because I promise you...don't dish it if you can't take it.

    -C

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  9. "The horrors, being puberty."

    Exactly. When you figure out that, all other changes aside, you can no longer keep up with your childhood friends physically, because most of them can run faster and hit harder than you, even when they don't mean to. When you figure out that as they reach their own puberty, their only interest in talking to you becomes what you can tell them about the girl sitting at the next desk that until yesterday you used to ridicule together but that now holds them in the palm of her dainty little hand. When you figure out that few girls are interested in speaking to you, not because they're mean, but because you never hung out with them in the past and you have no idea how to interact with them now. When, in short, find yourself lonelier than you ever thought possible at a time when everybody around you seems to belong to a 'tribe' and you don't see how that will ever change.

    Maybe I was luckier than most teens today, because in the mid-70s in my country transgender surgery or taking hormones weren't options one found out about while growing up as part of the stolid and content middle classes. I knew I had to make my way in the world as I was, and slowly and painfully, I did so. Every now and then I still have that twinge of "what if?", but when I look back over the past 30 years (I'm 47 now), I can honestly say I've been happy, and that the solution wasn't accepting my body, but accepting myself, however psychobabbly and trite that sounds.

    What worries me is the wave of - for want of another word - propaganda on the internet that seems to imply that testosterone or top surgery is some kind of magic pill that will make everything all right. Are there really so many 14 or 15-year old kids, who will only be happy if they transgender, or is it that at a time, when everything physically and psychologically is under a lot of strain and change (however natural), when they're lonely and vulnerable, it seems like a simple, even heroic way, to take charge of their lives?

    I've said it before, but I do believe that some people are simply born in the wrong bodies, and that changing sex, or, more accurately, their appearance and way of life, even by radical means, is the only way they will be happy. What I don't believe is that this is the only right way for the ever-growing number of teens posting their decisions on the net (Though I also don't believe that many of them will ultimately go through with anything more drastic than binding their chest and keeping their hair short for a few years. Or I hope so.)

    What I also believe is that by making these kids feel like they're under attack, by accusing them of misogyny, when it's probably the furthest thing from their minds, by being dismissive or sarcastic or making hateful comments, by quoting unsubstantiated statistics of hormones leading to violence and/or homosexuality, we're not holding an open dialogue and we're not truly helping them see the full range of their options, we're not even convincing them to maybe wait a while and make the more radical and irreversible decisions of hormones and surgery when they're a little bit older and more able to see the whole picture. In fact, we're egging them on just as surely as the rather evangelical postings of those for whom transgender surgery really was the only option, if not to find happiness, then at least to be blessed with content (to paraphrase Robert Burns).

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  10. sigh. THIS.

    The following year, my dad bought me my first mini-bike, I already had my own fishing pole and BB gun, also bought for me by my dad.

    Your dad apparently did not encourage, conjole, threaten, coerce, or blackmail bullshit gender roles onto you. Instead, sounds like your dad treated you more or less like a default human and allowed you the space to make your own choices. Most likely the other males in your vicinity took their cue from him and did likewise. That extremely rare and fortunate circumstance is not true for most females born onto this planet and has no doubt greatly influenced your perception of men, as a class.

    If ANY male had ever once resisted the temptation to treat me like a little fucking princess future housefrau, I probably wouldn't hate them so much. As it is, I can't stand them, even now. UndercoverPunk used to talk about how living under all that patriarchal grooming causes permanent PTSD, and frankly that sounds about right. Anyway:

    Transmen aren't a threat to the patriarchy or to REAL men, because in a way, REAL men must think it funny that they're so envious of what they can never really have. And who cares if they take themselves out of the market of fuckable women, because they were so damn ugly as dykes, no REAL man would have been desperate enough to fancy them anyway. And it just tells the men what they knew already, that having a dick is the BEST thing a human can have......

    Most excellent points, BadDyke, thank you!

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  11. "you are called tranphobic because you are intolerant, dismissive, hateful, and pompously discrimilatory towards those who identify as transgender because of your OWN personal beliefs."

    More doublespeak, and a later comment makes this clear -- we are transphobic because we DARE to question their interpretation of their feelings (and anti-empathic too!), and this HURTS THEIR FEELINGS.

    Yep, I'm intolerant, intolerant of misogny and the patriarchy.

    Yep, I'm dismissive, in that I'm dismissive of reasoning about gender that just feeds the lies the patriarchy generates.

    Yep, I'm hateful, in that I hate what patriarchy and gender roles have done to the lives and bodies of women for centuries.

    Pompous? Well, we all get a bit narked when the nonsense keeps coming at us again and again.

    Discriminatory? Because I dare to discriminate between what is natural and unchangable (female body and the fact of being female), and a surgical simulacrum.

    Beliefs? The damage to women and children is real, the damage the patriarchy does to women is REAL, yet some people are willing to forget all that, and believe it is just some mysterious thing that just HAPPENS to HAPPEN to women for no real reason, just so they can believe their own fantasies about gender and sex so they can get the surgery and drugs they want that they think will make them happy. And bugger the rest of us!

    Faced with all that, someone getting hurt because we won't use 'he' when they're female is just like comparing a gnat-bite to a decapitation.

    I'm now waiting for the usual -- we'll kill ourselves if we can't get surgery and unless you call us 'he' rejoinder............

    I don't know what to do about it, but I don't think not saying these things and taking a softly-softly approach is going to work either when it comes to deprogramming cult members.

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  12. >>I don't know what to do about it, but I don't think not saying these things and taking a softly-softly approach is going to work either when it comes to deprogramming cult members.<<

    Exactly right. And, as with cult members,
    it is the DOUBTERS who are the loudest about how RIGHT THEY ARE. This is usually because they doubt they are right, and don't want any facts which contradict the worldview they've invested so much time in.

    That's why I think, ultimately, this blog is so important. It lets those doubters see there IS another way, and that there ARE people who can back up their own doubts with science and facts to disprove the hype and the avalanche of pressure to engage in full fledged gynophobia complete with self-mutilation via M.D.

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  13. Baddyke. Grow up kiddo.

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  14. "Transmen aren't a threat to the patriarchy or to REAL men, because in a way, REAL men must think it funny that they're so envious of what they can never really have. And who cares if they take themselves out of the market of fuckable women, because they were so damn ugly as dykes, no REAL man would have been desperate enough to fancy them anyway. And it just tells the men what they knew already, that having a dick is the BEST thing a human can have......"

    What pettiness and jealousy. Transmen out masculine you dykes. There lies the root of your jealousy.

    "so damn ugly as dykes..."

    You are such a child, Baddyke. Nothing but despirate jealousy fuels your jeuvenile rhetoric.

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  15. "Baddyke. Grow up kiddo." And the same lame-brain attempted insults.

    Rather ODD as well, telling someone to 'grow up' when they point out what damage society does to women, as if it's all some silly feminine delusion. But par for the course when it comes to men and their typical refusal to treat adult women as adult human beings. No, like children, we need someone to look after us, a nice proper adult human being (i.e., a man).

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  16. And another!

    " Transmen out masculine you dykes. There lies the root of your jealousy. "

    Dykes aren't trying to be masculine. Who are we supposed to be jealous of now? Yes, I'll admit I'm jealous of men when they get promoted, when they get taken seriouly by the silverback male professors because they're men, whereas us women have to be better than the men to get the same treatment. When every time I get up at a scientific conference to speak, some female grad student in the audience is always so impressed that a mere woman can dare to stand up, present her research, AND argue back to the men when they throw hard questions at her.

    I'm not jealous of women who surgically mutilate their bodies, and play this silly, I can be just as masculine as the other men -- I just feel sorry for another female victim of the patriarchy, who has been so ground down by it all that trying to become masculine and calling themselves a man is a better option that struggling to live proudly as a female.

    Sad really that you think masculine is such a wonderful thing to be, and so pleased (or deluded) that you think you can play that silly gender game better than those of us who aren't interested in playing, and certainly not interested in playing with what opresses us all.

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  17. @ BadDyke et. al.

    Oh, woe is us! We're all weak victims! 'Patriarchy' is evil, and we hate every single man in the world, because he KNOWINGLY perpetuates it. And any woman who doesn't understand that she is really a victim of patriarchy is either a fool or actually abetting patriarchy!

    What absolute and utter BS. Yes, many women ARE victims. Of individual men, of circumstance, of laws that treat them like second class citizens or chattel. But you know what? In all the FTM blogs and videos I've seen, being "equal" or avoiding the unfairness of laws or society don't really figure up there in their top 10 reasons for wanting to transition, nor are they mentioned once they've done so.

    And I'm sure you'll tell me that YOU know better why they're doing what they're doing, they just don't realize it. Fine. For the sake of argument, I'll accept your position, even though I don't really buy it.

    The question is, do you really want to help these women, who may be turning to this blog, among others, in search of solutions to what they view as their desperate and personal, let me repeat, PERSONAL, tragedy? If so, then you must connect to them one heart at a time, understand what THEY think are their motivations, and suggest that there may be other root causes they can explore, other options available to the them. connecting to your listener. Simply rejecting their frame of mind as wrong and/or irrelevant, and beating them mercilessly over the head with theories that YOU believe explain YOUR place in the world is counter-productive.

    Although, come to think of it, when I see the discussions taking place here, it's pretty clear you have no interest in helping. Rather, your real interest is validating your own selves. Which is understandable. Feeling like a victim probably doesn't give you enough self-confidence to either place yourself in another person's shoes or show some compassion.

    me at 3:10 a.m.

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  18. How fucked up is it that "victim" is considered a insult? You never see anyone criticized for having a "perpetrator mentality".

    And no, male violence against women isn't simply a matter of personal tragedy. If it were, it'd be going in both directions. You don't have to be a conspiracy theorist to get the feeling that there's something fishy going on. Especially when you consider the long history (and present in some cases) of women literally being the personal property of men.

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  19. >>" Transmen out masculine you dykes. There lies the root of your jealousy. "<<

    I've never met a transman yet,
    strong enough to be a WOMAN.

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  20. "Simply rejecting their frame of mind as wrong and/or irrelevant, and beating them mercilessly over the head with theories that YOU believe explain YOUR place in the world is counter-productive."

    Except isn't this EXACTLY what the trans cult does, spreading their own 'theories' as to what their state of mind means? With the added disadvantage that the supposed solution is surgery and/or hormones?

    Mocking feminism, portraying women oppressed by the patriarchy as individual 'victims' of individual men .......it's just plain ole female suffering doesn't COUNT, not compared with my personal discomfort with my body. It's not the fault of our society and the way women have been treated as human beings of lesser value for centuries.

    " being "equal" or avoiding the unfairness of laws or society don't really figure up there in their top 10 reasons for wanting to transition" of course it doesn't, else they'd have to admit that the trans cant might not be true, and that there might be some other reason for why they feel the way they feel. Easier to accept the 'I was just born this way, it's no ones fault, a little surgery and hormones can fix it', rather than acknowledge that you're just another female who has been fucked over by society, which is a problem that isn't going to be fixed by a few shots of T, or learning how to use the male bathroom without being spotted. It's classic divide and rule tactics.

    " Rather, your real interest is validating your own selves." Ooooh, projection or what! We don't share this trans obsession with 'validation'.

    The experience of trans people is real, it's not their fault, I don't hate any of them for it, I just disagree with the trans cult and their supposed 'explanation'.

    Frankly, it's just SICK making light of the real suffering of women of all types, as if our supposed status as victims (I'm don't view myself as a victim BTW), our supposed lack of self-confidence, the many women that have fought and struggled every day of their lives to try and make things better -- doesn't EXIST, because out interpretation as to WHY any of that happened and is happening happens to disagree with the belief system that the trans cult produces in order to get their next shot of T.

    If your definition of 'help' means helping women to continue hating their bodies and their sex, to the extent of surgical mutilation, then thank christ you're not 'helping' me, and weren't around when I was struggling to understand my experiences as a girl and as a woman.

    Won't stop me from trying to stop you infecting others with this sad cult though..........

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  21. @ BadDyke

    "Won't stop me from trying to stop you infecting others with this sad cult though"

    Well, good. I sincerely hope that your way of insults, bullying and banging on about cultural history has worked for even one woman, and I wish you more luck in the future.

    Except that I'm not a transman, so there's no 'you' about it. However, I am someone, who might have considered the option very seriously in her teens, had access to "information" been so easy then, and had the opposing voices been simply trying to convince me that it's only patriarchy and my assigned role as a victim that makes me want to be a man. Again, that might be partly true, but I doubt very seriously it would have had the power to reach me, because that's simply not how I felt; most probably it would have reinforced my opinion that nobody understands me and that I must, therefore, seek more radical solutions.

    In no way did I make "light of the real suffering of women of all types" nor did I ever claim that women are only subject to individual acts of violence and not to mass acts of oppression. I belong to a generation that brought down a few fortresses and I have the bruises to show for it. And there is a hell of a lot more to be done.

    However, I do believe that if you perceive yourself as a victim, if you encourage other women to do so, you limit not only our potential, but our actuality. Our perception of being victims is just like the trenches in World War I; it's a fact of life, we're stuck there, and maybe we're a little safer, but we can't move very far forward, and when we go over the top, it's at great loss.

    I agree 100% with this part of your statement: "of course it doesn't, else they'd have to admit that the trans cant might not be true, and that there might be some other reason for why they feel the way they feel. Easier to accept the 'I was just born this way, it's no ones fault, a little surgery and hormones can fix it'" And it's exactly my point: on the one hand they have enthusiastic transmen telling them how great life has become, and on the other they have women telling them that they should stick with being a woman, a miserable and victimized existence though it may be.

    All I'm saying is, you might consider allowing some insults to fly over your head and try to make points relevant to their perceptions, rather than calling them "freaks" and then going back to the beginning of time to explain to them why there is no hope for them, in some effort to scare them into accepting their female form, if not its limitations.

    me again at 12:02 p.m.

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  22. >>Well, good. I sincerely hope that your way of insults, bullying and banging on about cultural history has worked for even one woman, and I wish you more luck in the future.<<

    It has. And I'm not willing to condescend to other women such that I would spoon feed them the truth. I believe women are smart enough to see the truth no matter how it's delivered, and I believe women can see through the b.s. of using appeals to ego to "get them to do something", i.e., manipulation.

    This isn't an advertising campaign.
    It's the truth. Not your truth, my truth, anybody's truth. It is a scientific fact.
    YOU CAN NOT TURN A FEMALE INTO A MALE. It simply cannot be done.
    The DNA cannot be changed so it reads "M" when the person is truly "F".

    All the rest is social construct. None of this needs to be swallowed with sugar.
    There's nothing WRONG with the information in the first place. It's not conjecture. It's not opinion. It's fact.

    These big manly "transmen" CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH?

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  23. I was using freaks sarcastically, for gawds sake!

    "And it's exactly my point: on the one hand they have enthusiastic transmen telling them how great life has become, and on the other they have women telling them that they should stick with being a woman, a miserable and victimized existence though it may be. "

    Which just reinforces what i've been saying all along (not that I think that is what women say about being women, but it's there perception of what being a woman means, else they wouldn't be so keen to try and leave it!

    Nor was I saying that the purpose of my posts was to try and persuade trans people not to transition, I'm still trying to understand exactly what the trans cant is all about, and why they end up believing it. I'm NOT sure how to persuade them otherwise, that's the hard thing. A good dose of feminism perhaps.........

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  24. Sad how some of them end up stooping to such a low level.


    http://news.yahoo.com/police-walmart-worker-burglarized-sex-change-175957829.html

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  25. What I find curious, is that they say they "know"they are "men". They KNOW IT!
    It's INHERENT IN THEM.

    Yet they sit around giving each other lessons on how to dress, how to cross their legs, how to talk, how to walk, etc. ad nauseum.

    If you already ARE something, why would you have to be TAUGHT IT? More like WTF than FTM, to me.

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  26. The ones that do that are certainly not innately transgender, Anon. Rather, those whom you described who have to 'mimic' male behavior are doing just that. They are mimicking everything. Meaning they are not truly transgender.

    That's all. Okay?

    It comes off in the same way a girl would if she were pretending to be lesbian to achieve the attention of those around her. Wheter or not it is male attention...I've seen it happen.

    But I truly hope you people really don't believe that people who are were truly born with transsexualism do not exist.

    It is still very much a rare phenomena. Most of the women you see claiming to be "FTM" are false. Please learn the spirit of discernment and compassion and be able to tell the difference. And not throw the entire thing to the gallows because a lot of young women are confused and want to play pretend with something that is so far from being a toy it's ineffable.

    These women use testosterone for an ''image makeover' not to medicate a deficiency, which is a lot of the time the case with transexuals. Myself included. My situation is a bit different. But, trust me. I am quite well versed.

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  27. "The ones that do that are certainly not innately transgender, Anon. Rather, those whom you described who have to 'mimic' male behavior are doing just that. They are mimicking everything. Meaning they are not truly transgender. "

    Sorry, that's NONSENSE because it implicitly assumes that there is something like innate male behaviour that all males innately know how to do. Except look at males around the planet, in various societies, and it's pretty clear that what is considered 'male' behaviour varies to such an extent (how to dress, move, walk and talk) that claiming it is innate is hopeless.

    Another problem with this brain sex theory occurred to me as well. Okay, let's suppose that there IS such a thing. Okay, but then HOW is our little infant with the voice in his head that says 'you are male' supposed to decide what figures in the world outside share this maleness with him? You are either forced to believe that we somehow have males with some innate 'you have a penis sense' from birth (but then again, even with that, how does the child determine which others in the society around him also have penises, if he is in a society where he may have never seen an adult fully naked.

    the problem is trying to find a unique 'you are male' signal (or indeed, you are female), that can be both innate, and distinguishable to the infant in those around them so they can learn how their internal sense fits in with the description that his society happens to use -- that this 'innate male' sense of theirs corresponds to 'man' in his society.

    The pointn being, what being 'male' or a 'boy' means VARIES widely across human societies, and in fact the only characteristic I can think of that is distinguishable and applies across all ages (i.e., pre-puberty as well), is some 'has a penis' sense. Except how does the boy KNOW that his internal sense of gender is linked to that particular part of his body, and that that is what he needs to find in others to determine if they're male or not?

    It just doesn't add up! It's NOT like species where you have some clear chemical signal, or such gross behavioural and instinctual differences that's its easy to see how such a system works. The very variability and plasticity of humans as a social species, with a variety of cultures and cultural practices counts against it.

    So, what is the ONE thing that really does hold water? That adult humans recognise the sex of a child based on their genitalia, and then TELL the child they are male or female accordingly -- it's LEARNT, not innate.

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  28. From some trans stuff online:

    "It is the common human consciousness of knowing exactly how being a woman or a man feels, because each woman or man has been cut from the very same cloth! It is the all consuming and all encompassing correctness and familiarity with oneself, combined with the unsolicited camaraderie presented to us by others of like gender. "

    So, damn shame then that despite trans protestations, they DON'T get that unsolicited camaraderie from those that they claim to share a gender with! This magical ability to recognise ones own gender, and recognise that same gender in others, irrespective of SEX (remember they are talking gender here NOT sex), just doesn't hold water because us pesky women keep saying to transmen -- but you're female, you're not a man in a womans body............O, you may do a decent imitation, given enough hormones and surgery.......

    I realy cannot see that this innate sense of gender that the brain sex theory requires makes any sense, because it either requires some great big magic 'gender identity' clue that transcends sex, or clothing, or cultural variations, that we can ALL recognise (except of course those nasty feminists who persist in NOT recognising it, and using the wrong pronouns) -- that we can ALL recognise, even as babies! AND make the link as to which of the two genders we think we see correlates with our own. Goodness, a heck of a lot of processing assumed for a baby here!

    Came we name ONE identifiable human characteristic that applies to distinguish gender, across all societies and all ages? No, because take any aspect of human behaviour that you like, and I'll bet that the variability and overlap is such that it just becomes yet another -- statistically significant difference between males and females, but so much overlap that not useful as a discriminator.

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  29. I gotta love the fact they are now sitting around deciding amongst each other who the "real" FTMs are and who the "poseur" FTMs are. AAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

    It's all so very "FACEBOOK", isn't it?!?

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  30. "It comes off in the same way a girl would if she were pretending to be lesbian to achieve the attention of those around her......"

    Well, NOT really (or at all, to be frank).

    Let's face it, there is CLEAR, identifiable behaviour that allows even the most hard-of-thinking to distinguish a pretend lezzer from a real one.

    Female, and shags women.

    The point being, belonging to the category 'lesbian' DOESN'T build from some airy-fairy sense of inner-lesbianess. We have some basic facts, such as:

    1) You're female
    2) You fancy other females (well, you could fake that!)
    3) You have sex with other females (and not males).

    The point being, lesbianism is clearly about BEHAVIOUR and simple facts of biology. Whereas this airy-fairy sense of inner-maleness isn't about anything as far as I can see.

    Plus if you DECIDE you aren't really a lesbian, then you just stop doing it, and go do something (or rather someone) else.

    You can feel that you IDENTIFY more with male behaviour than female, WISH you'd been born male rather than female, want to get mistaken for XY, and all the rest, but claims about some innate mystical male soul-essence?

    I'm not buying it. I can't see a way that the BIOLOGY would make sense.

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  31. "What I also believe is that by making these kids feel like they're under attack, by accusing them of misogyny, when it's probably the furthest thing from their minds, by being dismissive or sarcastic or making hateful comments, by quoting unsubstantiated statistics of hormones leading to violence and/or homosexuality, we're not holding an open dialogue and we're not truly helping them see the full range of their options, we're not even convincing them to maybe wait a while and make the more radical and irreversible decisions of hormones and surgery when they're a little bit older and more able to see the whole picture. In fact, we're egging them on just as surely as the rather evangelical postings of those for whom transgender surgery really was the only option, if not to find happiness, then at least to be blessed with content (to paraphrase Robert Burns)."

    Thank you for saying that, I deeply appreciate it. I totally agree with you.

    ReplyDelete

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