Change Your World-NOT your Body

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Straight butchy Women? Gay Transmen?

I received these questions in an email last night and decided to answer them here as similar questions have came up in comments:

What about being butch and straight? There are no shortage of tomboyish/butchy straight women, there is also no shortage of straight males who find them attractive/desirable. 

What about transmen who like men? A high percentage of dykes who transition, after injecting testosterone for a spell, wind up wanting to be fucked by men. And with the increase in hyper femininity becoming the norm for females, many straight females are rebelling against hyper femininity by transitioning. Similarly to their dyke transitioning counter parts, after a spell, most will wind up desiring females and will ID as "bi".

I've always been very butch but I'm not attracted to women. I love big strong hairy men. Where do women like me fit in, dirt? Why would you want to "fit in" anywhere? There is no reason you cannot be you, fall in love with a big hairy guy and live happily ever after. If you require validation from externals for who you are and who you desire, you will never be happy. 

dirt       
                       
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36 comments:

  1. Dirt, can you say where you got the information that a "high percentage" of dykes who transition end up sexually desiring men?

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  2. i've personally seen it in 100% of the previously lesbian ftm's i've known personally in nyc- no more than 15 or so
    i've also seen on craigslist that 99% of ftm's who post personal ads are looking to be fucked by biomen
    http://newyork.craigslist.org/search/?areaID=3&subAreaID=&query=ftm&catAbb=ppp

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  3. ha. too funny. there is a video of some dyke that transitioned to a boy; now she is really desiring men. how the hell that happened. is it the high testosterone that increases sex drive a lot more, so a person with a high sex drive would fuck anything that looks sexy. very much like a horny male dog that would hump anything.

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  4. Right... anecdotal evidence FTW.

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  5. so i'm supposed to do scientific experiments to prove every thing i witness? i didn't realize all transsexuals were scientists. (i'm from 5:02)

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  6. I'm an FTM, and I'm into women only. All of my FTM friends are only into women.

    Does that prove to you that FTMs are only into women? If not, why?

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  7. This is all nonsense. Don't entertain any non-cited information.

    You see, this is where it is fully evident that dirt has no educational background to speak of. Any twit knows that uncited here-say information is not only laughable but presumptuously idiotic. Especially when it is used by privileged people to marginalize and generalize a smaller more vulnerable group. (yes dirt you still reek of arrogant privilege despite being a butch lesbian). That is why none of this writing is worth reading. it's nothing but a jeuvenile tabloid blog that the ignorant get their rocks off by reading.

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  8. Anon at 6:58pm should shut her/his big mouth. We all know how the latest research by the American Sociological Association showed that trans are as traditional as any other person - like radical feminists claimed all along and contrary to what some self-aggrandizing trans thought of themselves.
    I guess the ASA should prepare to kick some more narcissist ass. Science- not here to validate your god complex.

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  9. I'm FTM and have been on T for over 2 years and I in no way desire to be with a man. Never have and never will.

    I know of 2 FTM's online who like men but they were bisexual before transitioning.

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  10. Anon 7:44 - I would very much like to read about that. Do you happen to have the name of the article or study, or know where I could find it online?

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  11. Kurukuru...

    What you wrote made absolutely no sense in referenda to that anon.

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  12. Im a bisexual transguy not on T and if it turns out I am only attracted to men after I start hormones then well so??

    Whats the problem with transguys liking men? How does this invalidate us? I like men and I like women. Not equally ( I prefer women) but how does my sexuality have a link or invalidate my gender identity?

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  13. Yeah really, what is to you who sleeps with who? Are you afraid that a transguy is gonna take a guy from you or something? I mean really!
    What goes on in someone else's bedroom really should not be a problem to you. But then again, you make everything your problem, as you are a paranoid schizophrenic with borderline personality disorder.

    Maybe you should worry about more important things than who is sleeping with who. It's not your business so why worry and post post after post about the shit???? OBSESSED MUCH???? Just sickening!

    No one care what you sleep with so why worry about what and who others sleep with? Maybe you have a secret obsession with men yourself since you have written about it so much.

    Take your thorazine, halidol, and prozac...breathe...count to three and everything will be okay....I am sure your psychiatrist has told you the same thing....

    I know this will be deleted but it's all good. It will be on my friends blog as soon as I post this to his email.

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  14. I am an FTM who has been on testosterone for 8 months, I identified as bisexual before starting hormones and still identify as bisexual, despite the peaks in my libido. My preferences have always leaned more towards women, and still do. It goes without saying that bisexuality *is* a relevant sexual orientation and should be treated as such.

    To give Dirt a little credit here, she didn't say anything bad or negative about transmen who are attracted to men. She simply stated her observations. However, if she can tell a butch woman that it's okay to find a big hairy man to be with and live happily ever after, would it be asking too much of her to wish a transman well in whatever romantic interests he decides to pursue?

    Finally, I'd also like to see the sociological information from the ASA that anon 7:44 had mentioned. Link or name of the article? As someone working on their MA in Sociology, I would be more than happy to analyze their results.



    Dirt: have you heard of a researcher named Sheila Jeffreys? She wrote a book, which I am currently using as a source for an academic project I am working on. The boom is called "Unpacking Queer Politics" and she is a self-proclaimed lesbian feminist who takes the same stance as you do on many issues. If you haven't read it, I recommend you do because I think you would agree with her and the fact that she is a social researcher lends more clout to your arguments.

    See? Not all transmen are bad, aggressive, non-feminists. Some of us actually have vested interests in social movements and issues beyond our transition. Sweeping generalizations hurt, no matter what marginalized group they are directed at.

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  15. lol I just have to say, I am a trans man and taking testosterone didn't make me like men any more then I did before starting T. I liked men before T, and I like men just the same now. Do you really think every single trans man used to be a dyke? Get your facts straight.

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  16. No one care who the hell what you sleep with so why worry about what and who transmen sleep with??? Obsessed much???? Maybe you should come into my bedroom and watch my fiancee' and I! Maybe you could learn a few things...

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  17. I guess I would be termed straight butch. I was always a tomboy and as an adult I work in a profession that attracts few women. I feel more comfortable in jeans and boots, don't wear much make-up and my hair is generally short, mostly for practical reasons. Dating was a bit of a problem in high school (but it seemed to be for most) I never looked back. I'm married now, have been for the past seventeen years. I don't have a lot of close friends, but they're evenly split between men and women. I feel more comfortable sharing with women, always did, but have never been sexually attracted to one.

    When I was seven or eight years old, I was playing soccer with a bunch of boys and I got kicked in the chin. The doctor who was stiching me up told my dad that his son was very brave. My dad smiled and said: "That's my little girl and yes, she is."

    Years after, my dad didn't remember having said that, though he did remember that after about the 4th trip to the ER he wished I'd been more like my older sister, because playing with barbies never led to broken collarbones. But I remembered it and I always wonder if I would have felt as okay being who I am, sort of straddling two worlds, if not for his and my mom's pride in me, even though I wasn't the typical daughter.

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  18. Boring. We all sleep with who we want to sleep with and we all love who we love. If you are a transman, love yourself and you win.

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  19. I try to comment on some of dirt's more factually inaccurate/outright falsehoods, because sure she has the right to say whatever she wants on her blog, but it's cowardly and immoral to lie and twist the facts like she does. I've pointed out her lies, asked her to back up her "facts" with some kind of evidence, and asked her to clarify things, and she's repeatedly refused. She's flat-out lying and making shit up, not spreading truth.

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  20. Dirt, I was hoping you would respond in private. This subject is sort of sensitive for me.

    Why would you want to "fit in" anywhere?

    It is human nature to want to fit in somewhere. To be with those who are like ourselves. Tell me you wouldn't be lonely if every butch on the planet, except you, suddenly vanished. We all need validation. To believe that we don't, that we all should traipse through life not caring what other people think is euphorian bs. This is an imperfect world and we are all imperfect people and being validated by those who are like us gives us security and a warm fuzzy feeling.

    I fit in best with butch lesbians but at the same time I don't. My butch friends swear they're going to convert me. Something about a toaster. It's not gonna happen.

    There are no shortage of tomboyish/butchy straight women, there is also no shortage of straight males who find them attractive/desirable.

    There is definitely a shortage of butchy straight women! I've been on this grand old rock for over 30 years and I have never encountered another! I've met femmy tomboys. But never a true butch straight woman. I met a woman who claimed to be FTM but even she was more femme than I am. (Don't get me wrong! I don't have a hate on for femmes!)

    As far as the men who are supposed to be attracted. I'm no slob. I don't look like a troll. I'm clean and well groomed and I know better than to wear sweat pants in public unless I'm going to the gym. I've had tons of beautiful women come on to me over the years. I wish I was a lesbian! But men... I've had boyfriends when I was younger. When I had long hair. Now, I've had guys tell me I look like a "dyke". Fine. But it's not getting me any dates! If you know of some secret place where guys are attracted to women like me, let me know. I assure you there is definitely a shortage of these men.

    Anyway, I guess I just wanted to get your perspective on the situation but I think your perspective is somewhat skewed. Thanks for the response.

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  21. Anon,

    I've never felt the need to "fit in", I dont see the point. "There is but little hope for the individual and yet the individual is the ONLY hope". I'm hope.

    I'm sorry you arent finding men who are attracted to you. I know plenty O Butches who get hit on regularly by straight guys. Just last week a cute, sweet straight male co-worker asked me when he and I were hooking up...lol Apparently I'm "the shit" in his eyes.

    dirt

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  22. http://www.notanotheraiden.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=238

    i found a discussion amongst 'transmen' of this situation
    (i chuckled when i saw the original author, a 20 year old, has a 'top surgery donation fund')

    also the proprietor of this 'not another aiden' blog seems to have serious mental illness

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  23. i remember reading a few years back in a magazine about ftm writer david harrison, once a lesbian now a 'gay man'- i've seen 'him' on the street before- has ALL the tell-tale physical traits that make it obvious it's a woman in medical disguise

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  24. There are lots of butchy straight women in rural towns. Just go to the feed store or tack shop- you'll see plenty of them.

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  25. Oklahoma...........They're everywhere.........

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  26. There are butchy straight women all over where I live. But I live in a semi-rural mountainous region.

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  27. To E

    Fuck you

    Sincerly The Etch

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  28. (at least you're 'sincer!')

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  29. So, is anyone following up with that information about the ASA study? Because I haven't been able to find it online, and a friend of mine who's a sociology grad student hasn't found it either.

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  30. Are you correcting my spelling? Really?
    So petty.

    The reason I cursed at you was because that "all transmen look the same" thing, Pisses me off.

    We don't all look the same. All lesbians have a strange fishy odor though.

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  31. (at least you're not petty!)

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  32. It was an insult for an insult

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  33. lol, I picture dirt's "cute, sweet straight male co-worker" to be much like Steve Carell's character in Dinner For Schmucks.

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  34. "has ALL the tell-tale physical traits that make it obvious it's a woman in medical disguise"

    So if a trans man didn't have these "tell tale traits" would you leave them alone?

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  35. Good God. I had some really butch lesbian friends I met recently tell me that they actually get straight men hitting on them. I thought for a long time I must look REALLY feminine or something, because I get tons of them flirting with me, but now it makes a bit more sense because no butch I've met before ever said that.

    Sorry but I just find it totally repulsive and not remotely flattering at all to get hit on a by a man. My friends find it bloody hilarious though. Hilarious because of how completely dumb these men are - as in they just can't read body language or signals that a person is repulsed by them. Also hilarious because the sheer look of absolute horror and disbelief in my eyes when I witness a straight or gay guy flashing me some lovey-dovey look. I can kind of see the funny side, but in all honesty I really hate it and it's ruining my life a little bit. I don't know if gay men ever feel this way about women hitting on them...horrified to the point of agitation and stress.

    God...I swear it actually really pisses me off and stresses me out. I don't mind them as friends, but anything else is totally just anathema to me.

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