Change Your World-NOT your Body

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Dont Assume

Writing about/critiquing trans issues produces strange bed fellows, many of which, in my case, once in bed with me wake up the next morning only to realize it was nothing more than a one night stand.

Because I critique queer/trans agendas and am against the current "treatment" for GID i.e. transition, and because I call myself a feminist two suppositions occur: 1) that I hate those in transition and 2)  that I hate men. They are supposed not simply by those in transition, but by radical feminist as well. Many of which buddy up to me based solely on learning that I'm against transition. They presume from that all sorts of male hatred that we can sisterly bond over without having done so much as glance at a blog post or two.

Dont assume because I'm against the current "treatment" for GID that I hate men.

Dont assume because I believe females should have their own agency that I hate men.

Dont assume because I tear at the fabric of patriarchal cloth that I hate men.

Dont assume because I'm a lesbian that I hate men.

Dont assume because I love women that I hate men.

Dont assume because I call men on their male privilege that I hate men.

Dont assume because I fight for women only spaces that I hate men.

Dont assume because I'm a feminist that I hate men.

Dont assume because I support some radical feminist causes that I hate men.

Dont assume because I have radical feminist friends that I hate men.

Dont assume....

dirt
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71 comments:

  1. It is really sad that you have to write again that you don't hate men. You've already made it clear long time ago but some people aren't smart enough to use the search option.

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  2. As a radfem (who doesn't hate men), can I ask what are the radfem goals and theories you disagree with?

    P.S. Just asking out of curiousity, not trying to start anything.

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  3. FTMs like to think tbey're men
    and since you anger them so much
    they take it as hatred
    thus you 'hate men'

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  4. Don't assume that because I am trans I hate lesbians.

    Don't assume because I am trans I hate women.

    Don't assume because I am trans that I don't believe in womens rights.

    Don't assume because I am trans that I am angry.

    Don't Assume because I am trans that I am a trender.

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  5. "FTMs like to think tbey're men
    and since you anger them so much
    they take it as hatred
    thus you 'hate men'"

    Bingo.

    A lot of trans people consider their "gender identity" to be such an obvious objective truth that they can't comprehend someone else not believing in it. They act like trans criticizers are just "denying" their identity to be mean.

    Combine this with a heavy dose of sexism (she's a feminist and lesbian, so she must hate men) and you end up with crap like "DIRT WANTS TO DESTROY TRANSMEN BECAUSE SHE HATES ALL MEN WANTS TO DESTROY THEM!"

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  6. Right On Anon @4:33 PM!

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  7. The last sentence should read "DIRT WANTS TO DESTROY TRANSMEN BECAUSE SHE HATES ALL MEN!" Stupid typos.

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  8. Interesting. What makes you feel such a need to assert repeatedly that you don't hate men? What are you trying to prove, to whom, and why?

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  9. I don't hate men ether Dirt. Unless that's a male bluebird? V. irritating little bugger.

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  10. I don't think you hate all men, but you've definitely made it clear that you disapprove of FTMs transitioning.

    Why do you so disapprove of this? It isn't harming you. Just let it go. What happened to you in your life that made you so passionate about this? What made you feel you need to spend your life constantly slandering those who live out a different lifestyle than you?

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  11. P.S. The only choice I made was to come out and live my life in the open to be able to be more comfortable with myself.

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  12. "Why do you so disapprove of this? It isn't harming you. Just let it go."


    It is harming to others that's the problem. People are forced to adress you guys in your favorite fantasy pronouns and if they don't belive that you are men you are playing the victim card and scream "transphobia!" Just because you think that you are a men doesn't mean others have to think this too. I will quote Raygunslinger:

    "A lot of trans people consider their "gender identity" to be such an obvious objective truth that they can't comprehend someone else not believing in it. They act like trans criticizers are just "denying" their identity to be mean."

    Don't force your identiy upon others. I will still call you she because I belive in biological facts not in the fictional gender ideology. Wow that really resembles religion doesn't it?

    For Dirt it's more than that I know.

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  13. I've never thought you hated biological men--hate is a strong word anyway, and I don't think you actually hate ftm's but rather disagree with the invasive and dangerous procedures against the female body.

    What I don't understand is the implication from ftm's on this blog that it's not your right to think what you want. Everybody doesn't agree with me being a woman who shares my life with a woman, but I just keep doing what I do.

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  14. I agree with Eccentricity...Hate is a strong word. I was always told hate means hoping for death. I dont think Dirt wants them to die. Everyone has an opinion and everyone's opinion deserves to be heard. Even Westboro Baptist church's opinion deserves to be heard, even though they piss almost everyone off.
    If your happy with who you are then keep being you. You get to choose who you surround yourself with. Life is to short to find things to anger you. Live happy be happy.

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  15. OH fucking jesus. I didn't get pissed off because you don't hate men, and I didn't get pissed off because you do hate men.

    I got pissed off because you assert an (invalid) logical argument intended to be applied universally. THOSE piss me off royally. Don't do it again. lol

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  16. And this is why I like butches, btw. :) They can get massively pissed off, argue until they're blue in the face, and still be friends afterwards.

    I totally love you!!

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  17. Also, I apologize. There were more respectful ways to get my point across, and I failed to take even a moment to consider any of them.

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  18. when you sit at your computer and post these blog entries that belittle trans* identities, you're hating on men.

    when you tell a man that they are not a real man or that they are less of a man compared to another man, you are hating on men.

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  19. Informing a female that she is not the same as a biological male is not hating on men. Its stating fact. Some transmen have no issues with individuals stating that fact. Though majority still wish to addressed by the identity that they have chosen for themselves. I see it as how you think about yourself vs. how you are. You think you are a male is different from you are male. If you think something well everyone has different thoughts about what you think. What you do with your own body is your own damn business. But there still should be better options for people suffering from the same thoughts as you or someone else. There isn't and that's total bullshit! The world is full of sexism and that is total bullshit! There isn't outlets for gender/sexual variance and that's total bullshit! Dirt removes the men from trans men or calls someone by female pronouns and it irks the crap out of them. Instead of calling Dirt every name in the book why not start to peace together why the heck that mess irks you so much in the first place?

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  20. "when you tell a man that they are not a real man"

    Since when is a female a man? Did the human biology change all of sudden? Or is it just a dream of girls who are hating anything that's female because men have more freedom and privilege?

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  21. It is harming to others that's the problem. People are forced to adress you guys in your favorite fantasy pronouns

    ...Generally when I don't like someone or a sector of people, I don't socialize with them. I don't set out to destroy them.. If I am not into something or I am uncomfortable with it I just walk away.. For example I happen to have a dear friend who is a radical lesbian feminist seperatist. She used to do things like destroy church doors by pasting things on them. I care about her but I don't believe in what she was doing. I placed some distance in the areas of those types of things she did.. Does that mean I will spend my whole life trashing her and those who think like her?

    Not sure how to word this, but she is not harming me by doing things she believes in. She can only harm me if I let her.

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  22. "Don't force your identiy upon others."

    I can agree with this.. Show others the same courtesy as well, please.

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  23. I understand you want to make clear you don't hate men because that's how you feel about it and people are getting you wrong, Dirt. More than that, I understand we pay a high price for being spotted as a woman who don't like men, i.e. a free woman.

    But it bothers me soooooo much that we have to say all the time we don't hate men as if it's the worst thing one can do in life, as if it's wrong because there is absolutely no reason to and if we call on their atrocities and privileges it will look like we're making it up just because we didn't like them anyway.

    As long as men keep being what they are and doing what they do we have absolutely no reason to have good feelings for them. Well, healthy people wouldn't and I know women aren't in that position.

    Anyway, we shouldn't spent time and energy trying not to feel it or denying when they say we do and we don't. Every time we do so I see it's a way to maintain the system as it is. It's a way to keep everything we say as pure abstract theory, see, we know everything they do but we never dislike the agressors, it's not even a possibility. It's about trying to maintain our ability to love them, to bond with men in at least some level, because we don't like what they do, but we're still able to love them right now just because we know they didn't really had to be like that, even if they are and have always being.

    If we do feel hatred, it is legit, we have reasons to do so, we are not the criminals. Second, we don't have to apologize or explain how we feel and how we don't to everyone, especially men. It's so repressive, we are never allowed other possibilities to feel any thing different.

    I truely believe it's very damaging because we are working along with patriarchy to vanish any glimpse of a imaginary of women who simply are unable to like who don't respect them. It's repressive, it's silencing, it's castrating.

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  24. "DIRT WANTS TO DESTROY TRANSMEN BECAUSE SHE HATES ALL MEN WANTS TO DESTROY THEM!"

    I don't believe Dirt hates all men. I think she hates Transmen.

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  25. It is pretty simple peeps. I surround myself with people who are positive and affirming. I surround myself with people who get me. On both sides of this argument it is pretty simple.. Hang out with people who are positive and affirming and get you. Spend your lives doing positive and affirming things. Negativity breeds negativity. Positive breeds Positive.

    Nobody is going to change Dirt and Dirt is not going to change anyone else.

    Time for all of us to move on with our lives and not spend it obsessed on Dirt, or Dirt obsessing on FTM's.

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  26. I don't care what anyone thinks about me. My family and friends love me and that is all that matters to me. I am accepted by everyone around me so I don't give a toss what anyone else thinks. Why would I? I have lived years being able to be myself and have not run into any problems. If I run into a problem then I will deal with it.

    Dirt may not hate men but I think she has a personal vendetta against transmen. Her whole blog is filled with the crap. It's all crap she pulls out of her ass and the crap isn't true. Oh well, what can you do?

    I know for myself that my sexuality has not changed and never will. I have ALWAYS been attracted to women and ALWAYS will be. I'm not going bald because it's all abut genetics. My personality has not changed. I'm the same soft spoken, shy, fun-loving, humorous, caring, and compassionate person I have ALWAYS been. I would never hit a woman nor would I condone it. I'm no different than I was pre-T. The only thing that has changed is that I have more self-confidence and I am actually learning to love myself. I am becoming who I have always been meant to be. I don't hate women as she says we do. I don't hate woman by ANY means. Women are awesome!

    Just my 2 cents....

    ...Night!

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  27. Dont assume because we are trans we hate women.

    Dont assume because we are trans we hate ourselves.

    Dont assume because we are trans we are incapabale of healthy relationships.

    Dont assume because we might take T we are violent.

    Dont assume because we have top surgery we have ugly scars.

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  28. It's so simple. Transitioning is a heteronormative treatment, akin to "ex-gay therapy." Anything else is distraction.

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  29. I have a very healthy relationship with my fiancee' and our two boys am an trans. My fiancee' loves me and so do my boys. Lets not forget abut my family and all of my friends.

    Just because I am trans does not mean I hate women.

    Just because I am trans does not mean I can't be a good dad to my two sons.

    Just because I am trans does not mean I can't be a feminist. I know plenty of biological men who are all for women's rights as am I.

    Just because I am trans does not mean I hate myself.

    Just because I am trans does not mean my sexuality has changed or will change.

    Just because I am trans does not mean I will get violent with my fiancee' or am a pedophile or rapist as other posts have stated.

    Just because I am trans does not mean I am inhumane.

    Just because I am trans does not mean I still don't have feelings and show emotion. I do, trust me I do. I still cry during sad movies on Lifetime. I love Lifetime!

    Just because I am trans does not mean I don't have feelings.

    Now do I care what others think of me? No, I don't. I am who I am and if you don't like it then oh well. I am me and I am loved by so many people who I call family and friends.

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  30. I agree that people should not go and assume things about other people they don't really know. I do not send this comment from a place of hate but from a place on concern. I gather from actually reading your blog instead of just assuming it, that you hate transmen. Unfortunately I am not convinced that you have 100% accurate facts backing up your position. It saddens me that I've sent comments here before just trying to make a point, not "yelling" at you or attacking you, and those comments haven't been posted. I wish you would practice what you preach and not assume things about all these men you don't even know.
    I sincerely hope that you post my comment this time and that we can hold opposing positions without attacking each other.

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  31. God help those kids getting raised by a stepmother who hates herself so much she injects mass doses of T to kill her female self.

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  32. Why can't poor, black, female people discuss class, race, and gender without constantly reassuring that they don't hate the rich, the white, the male?

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  33. Oh yes, the "man-hater" misandrist spiel.
    As a radical feminist, I *do* hate the way powerful men(surgeons and politicians) use the concept of transgender as a tool of oppression through the legitimized invasion of women's spaces, mutilation of healthy bodies and the attempted erasure of women as a class.

    But as I'm currently breastfeeding a little man myself, I just laugh when some misguided person accuses me of "hating men".

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  34. Although I'll admit that I'm a fecking idiot for pouring my life source into a baby male.. after all that males have done to us females over the years.

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  35. I totally agree with this:

    It's so simple. Transitioning is a heteronormative treatment, akin to "ex-gay therapy." Anything else is distraction.

    So simply put and so true.

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  36. "God help those kids getting raised by a stepmother who hates herself so much she injects mass doses of T to kill her female self."

    Mass doses of T my ass! Do your research before you say shit! .25-1 cc is not mass doses of T FYI.

    That's what happens when a nasty sausage wallet doesn't know shit!

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  37. Comment one: Dirt, I wouldn't assume you hate men. The assumption that feminists hate men is fundamentally flawed. Sexism hurts everybody, women directly, and men indirectly as the freedom to express oneself is curtailed in men and women alike.

    Comment two: Again and again and again people say transitioning is heteronormative, closing their eyes to the number of LGB trans people.

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  38. "Although I'll admit that I'm a fecking idiot for pouring my life source into a baby male.. after all that males have done to us females over the years."

    What a monstrous thing to say. You truly are an evil person. That poor child...

    I hope that you do not have access to his emotional worth because just saying this alone...I imagine you to be very emotionally abusive to this child in the future. Degrading his character, never building him up...
    That poor child has done nothing wrong to this world...not a single THING.

    You ought to be ashamed of yourself if you truly meant this statement.

    A radical anything is nothing but counter-productive trouble. Nothing but a brainless loose cannon. Radical by definition.

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  39. what does that mean 'sausage wallet?'
    is that a derogatory term for vagina?
    did you use that term when you still were presenting as the woman you are? don't you still posess your own 'sausage wallet?'
    i think if a woman were on enough steroids to give her a beard and hairy belly that would be considered a pretty big dose

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  40. it is essentially 'heteronormative' or at least trying to conform to society's norms of what it means to be male or female, whether or not one ends up f'ing similarly gendered types

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  41. Although I'll admit that I'm a fecking idiot for pouring my life source into a baby male.. after all that males have done to us females over the years

    ...Wow. This is messed up.. Please give your child who can love him and be supportive of him in the way he deserves.

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  42. "That poor child has done nothing wrong to this world...not a single THING."

    Well, he DID have the audacity to be born with a dick. =P

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  43. Oh, don't be so silly.

    The essence of radical feminists is our faith in men. The reason we fight at all is because we believe the evil men inflict on the world is not inevitable. It is learned masculinity. As Dworkin said, "We believe in the humanity of men, against all the evidence"

    Monstrous mothers though. Now THAT'S an old patriarchal theme. Before crones, witches, and perhaps even lesbians (Amazons) were despised, all patriarchies have despised mothers. HAtred of mothers is the essence of a patriarchy. Fear of lesbians is the essence of a patriarchy.

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  44. Monstrous mothers. Still laughing here.
    It really is a-- how can I put it-- oh so very ANCIENT patriarchal theme

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  45. "That poor child has done nothing wrong to this world...not a single THING."

    Well, he DID have the audacity to be born with a dick. =P

    "A radical anything is nothing but counter-productive trouble. Nothing but a brainless loose cannon. Radical by definition."

    The thing about the word "radical" is that it means "root" (as in, "getting to the root of the problem"), not "extremist". Radical politics, feminist or otherwise, aren't necessarily bad. However, they do have the annoying tendancy to attract and tolerate some serious batshittery.

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  46. talk about brainless loose mouths! clearly, you have no idea what Radical means so I will enlighten you. It does NOT mean extreme. It does NOT mean violent. It means based on foundational level thinking. The word which Radi9cal is based on, radis, is latin for root. Radical essentially means going back to the beginning, the very root of a problem, and addressing what formed it, what caused it, and addressing it there. It is about finding true solutions rather than cosmetically hiding the problem.

    And to attack cherryblossom for having the intelligence and courage to question the root of misogyny, and find it, in males and then project that and call her the single cruellest thing you can call a person, abusive to their own child is clear proof that you are a male and not a very smart or educated one either. We ALL need to ask the really BIG question: Are males so thoroughly polluted by our society that every one of them becomes male supremacists, or are they born with this sick inability to interact with others without dominating them?
    Clearly, if you knew anything at all about mothering you would realise the vast commitment of time and energy embodied in a breastfeeding relationship and that it is this, along with the hormone cascade it sends through a womyn's body that evidences herNON-abusive relationship with her son. you would also know that it is the all too common failure to breastfeed in our society that can be seen as the source of many emotional issues leading to violent and anti-social behaviour in males. Clearly, she is doing what is required in order to give her son the best chance of NOT growing up into the kind of unintelligent drooling knuckle-dragger that you display yourself to be.

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  47. :: waiting for one of the self-proclaimed transd00d feminists to decry the comment about a "nasty sausage wallet" who happened to say something non-totally-supportive about transing :::

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  48. "A radical anything is nothing but counter-productive trouble. Nothing but a brainless loose cannon. Radical by definition."

    That's how I feel about 'queer' as a movement/community.

    (I feel she was joking about her baby as oppressor)

    "Mass doses of T my ass! Do your research before you say shit! .25-1 cc is not mass doses of T FYI. "

    If a female athlete were to take steroids to the point she grows a full beard anybody would say that's a heck of a lot of hormones

    "That's what happens when a nasty sausage wallet doesn't know shit!"

    Is 'sausage wallet' your word for vagina? How is your own sausage wallet doing, dickless?

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  49. From what I heard a sausage wallet is a vagina who has had dick in it. I guess that's why whoever made it up called it a sausage wallet. I've heard worse before.

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  50. "sausage wallet", "dickless" - I think you all need to grow the fuck up...

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  51. If I had a son, I'm sure I'd love him. But I definitely don't intend on having one, since I realise that I can do better with my time, resources and love than to spend them adding to the ranks of my oppressors. I would never hurt a man just because he's a man, but I won't nurture one for the rest of my life either. I guess now you MRAs are gonna attack me for denying my love to my non-existent baby. Oh well.

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  52. If I had a sahn I would leave him to the father to nurture. First of all, it wouldn't be taking up my time and attention and second of all it would give men a chance to learn how to be nurturers and maybe make for a better world for everybody. There's only one way to develop nurturing abilities - practice, practice, practice - and men don't get it if women are doing the nurturing for them. And without all the whiny, demanding big and little males all the time, women would have more time and energy to give to those who really need and deserve it, such as girls and women who have been emotionally damaged and legitimately need care.
    When men become as likely to be nurturers as women are, then I think men would have a legitimate claim to equality with women, but not before. Boys, on the other hand - I think they deserve the best men have to give, but have no legitimate claim on the best from women.

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  53. i'm shocked that people think baby boys will all grow up to be 'the oppressor'
    that's dumb and pessimistic

    i'm also the one who called our ftm poster 'dickless' because 'he' truly is dickless- and i for one have never had a 'sausage' in my 'wallet'

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  54. Yee, I agree 100% MasterAmazon.

    The concept of "Nurturing men" is a red herring invented by the patriarchy.

    No man gave birth to my child in pain, like I did. NO man could ever breastfeed my child like I can. No man ever saw their life slide out of view from the moment a baby was conceived, the way women do.

    THe reasoning behind the current trend for pretending men's mothering is just as good as women's is :

    a) to trivilize and denigrate women's mothering i.e to pretend that a father can replace a mother, when in reality men are hailed as heroes for doing the bare minimum while mothers are denigrated for never being good enough, no matter what they do, and

    b) to use it against a mother when it comes to divorce. IN other words we're seeing a lot of fathers use the fact they read a story book a couple of times a week as a reason to gain custody over children. CHildren that a woman BIRTHED in PAIN and carried beneath her heart for nine months.

    Fucking arseholes most of these "nurturing men", I tell you.

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  55. Men can nurture a child. Just because men can't give birth doesn't mean we can't nurture a child. I know plenty of men who raised their children without help from the mother. You can't blame biological men because they can't give birth. They weren't designed to do so. To hate on men because of it is just disgusting as hell. I know a hell of a lot of bad mothers out there. Mothers who have sold their children to pedophiles to have sex with them for drugs, sold them for crack, beat the hell out of them because they were too damn stoned to face reality. My aunt was abusive to her 3 kids and is still sitting in prison. Her kids hate her for all she did to them. She has another 15 years to serve out of a 30 year minimum sentence. I will go to her hearings and demand she doesn't get paroled each time she comes up for parole for what she did to those kids. It's not just men as you seem to think that are abusive. If you are going to abuse your kids then don't f'ing have them!

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  56. Sharon H,


    We live in a patriarchy. Women, especially mothers, have very little power. Men make it so.

    Do you think that if we lived in an egalitarian society or a matriarchy women would be selling their daughters to predatory men? Or getting stoned to blot out reality?

    I will answer for you: NO they would not.

    I am not justifying what these mothers do. I am saying you have to look at what a society organized and run by men does to mothers. It *destroys* them.

    You have to understand that many women did not want to become mothers. THey had no choice. Either they were raped, or their husband felt entitled to have sex with them without thought for the consequences, or they had no access to birth control or abortion.

    MOst women step up to the plate. Some, unfortunately, are not able to.

    Impregnation of women who didn't plan on having babies should be seen as the human rights abuse that it is, but men and society see it as "just sex"

    Many women are poor, because they're women. Many men are rich, simply because they're men. If those rich men could share their billions with mothers, women would be in a better position to raise their children properly.

    WOmen are segregated from one another, in a patriarchy. They aer picked off and separated, meaning they have to carry the emotional burden of child-rearing alone, or worse, with an emotional or physical abuser in the home i.e a man.

    Over the centuries, women who knew deep down that something was not right in the way their husband was treating their daughters, had to use denial because she had. literally. nowhere to go.

    We have to make changes in society so that women are able to listen to their daughters when they tell them they're being abused by their father, we have to get women living together, away from men.

    Women must be held accountable for their individual actions and behaviour, yes, but if you remember they're living in a society that is trying actively to destroy them, in order to support and benefit male supremacy, then you have to walk a mile in their shoes before you judge.

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  57. My Aunt and her husband at that time both wanted children. My Aunt more so than her then husband. My aunt had her kids and then got involved with drugs and left her husband at home to take care of the kids while she partied. She slept around with a bunch of men and so on and so forth so he divorced her ass and I don't blame him. He was good to her and gave her everything she wanted..Kids, a very nice home, money, a sports car, and so on...she wanted more...she wanted to party the money away so she got addicted to crack. He tried to help her but she didn't want to be helped. He was a really good man and to this day I still see him as a very good man. He raised the kids by himself and did a damned good job with that. One went in the Marines, One is a bank rep, and the other is still in college getting his degree is psychology. She was NEVER there for none of those kids and they hate her for it. Let her ass sit n prison for all the abuse she did to those kids. I am proud of all three of them to pull themselves out of her twisted ways and make a life for themselves. She didn't want them to have anything! She still doesn't. She calls them losers, bastards, and the whole nine yards. She ruined her life and was hell bent on ruining theirs too!!!! I'll be damned if I let her destroy their lives like she destroyed her own life....

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  58. SHaron,

    Look.

    Men have economic, political and social power on their side. THey make the laws and the rules. THey run society.

    Women own nothing. They run nothing. At best, male-run societies allow a few token women into positions of power in politics and business.

    Add to that, it is overwhelmingly women who care for children. Men spend very little time with children at all, by comparison.

    So tell me, given this background, why is it overwhelmingly men who abuse children? When men have got everything going for them.

    Women, by comparison, are powerless, and yet they somehow manage to give enough children good enough childhoods.

    The more women's power increases, the better childhoods there will be all round.

    100 years ago a woman couldn't even obtain a divorce from a man who was sexually abusing her children. THanks to feminists, now she can in some countries. Until 1992, in the UK, a man could rape his wife and it was *legal*
    THis is the type of suffering women have been putting up with while trying to give their children decent childhoods.

    Men have had all the power in the world.

    My point is, *men* *have* *no* *excuse*

    Men have set up entire religions (catholic) so they could abuse children and unsuspecting mothers were told to trust their children with men who were supposed to be holy.

    I'm saying that misogymistic societies use every trick in the book to destroy women's mental, physical and sexual health. THis is not part of history. It goes on today and is legitimized by the medical profession and by laws.

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  59. ...But you can not blame all men for the worlds problems! I am a lesbian and love women to death but I don't hate men by any means. My father and grandfather were awesome men. They respect(ed) women and would do anything for them. My grandfather would never have oppressed any woman and my dad wouldn't either. There are good men in the world.

    I'm not catholic and don't believe in what they believe in as I am a Christian. Yeah, a lot of Catholic priests do molest little boys but not all of them. You can't blame all for what some do. You really can't.

    I was sexually abused as a child by my step dad and there is no excuse for it. Social services didn't a damn thing about it and took his word over mine and my sisters word. They came out several times but our step dad was more convincing I suppose. I guess they had too much of a work load to worry about two little girls who were being raped and whatnot. It's sad but you cannot blame all men for everything.

    I just don't want the good men out there to take the blunt for what has been done to us. Yeah, we are oppressed and yes we should stand up and do something about it. Hating on all men is not gonna do it. Blaming all men for everything is not gonna do it either.

    If it wasn't for my grandfather, God rest his soul, and my dad, for both being men I have looked up to in my life, I would hate a lot of men too. I wouldn't go to the extent of blaming all men though.

    I hear what you are saying and I'm not trying to argue with you but I just don't agree that ALL men are assholes.

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  60. "I know a hell of a lot of bad mothers out there."

    That's silly, bad mothers are purely a patriarchal theme. =P

    In all seriousness, I'm quite aware of the fact that it's impossible to grow up in a patriarchal society without being affected by it. But claiming that women are incapable of violence or cruelty unless men are making them do it is a slap on the face to both sexes. Also, if it's impossible to truly love a child unless you gave birth to them, then it must suck to be an adoptee.

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  61. To clarify, I'm quite aware that it's impossible to grow up in a patriarchal society without being affected by it. Thing is, a big part of this conditioning consists of "sugar, spice, and everything nice". Girls are told from day one that fighting is unladylike, and that they should be passive, comprimising, and gentle. Meanwhile, boys are constantly given the message that violence is manly and being sensitive, nurturing, etc. equals being a "pussy".

    Acting like these are innate female/male traits is more gender essentialist than feminist.

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  62. Blame society, not the individual men. Why assume that every single man is an abuser, a rapist, etc? What good does that do? If anything, it makes your message about everything else fall on deaf ears.

    Why do you think Feminism is failing and dying with the younger generation? Because they think that we're all man hating lesbians, and our patriarchal society says that's a bad, disgusting thing.

    The accuracy of any argument that comes from blind hatred of anything (in this case, blind misandry) is sure to be blown off as bullshit from any casual listener.

    "All men are evil," is an obvious lie according to anyone who has ever encountered good men in their lives. I have a good father and a good brother, and I am protective of them both. However, I know better than to assume the rest of what you argue is untrue.

    Unfortunately, most don't know better, so you have lost the majority of your audience, so prepare to watch Feminism evolve into events like the "Slut Walk" and other sexually charged displays of "feminism."

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  63. I agree with Scribe. But...

    That is nobody's fault but your fellow feminists, Scribe. Look at the trash being spewed above you my m Andrea and cherryblossomlife. They are the type responsible for the distortion of this movement. The concept of the "feminazi" is an evil, counter-productive thing. Just take a look at some of these people's blogs. I also agree that Dirt is responsible as well for its perversion.

    Transsexuals are not to blame. Look amongst yourselves for the foundation of the problem.

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  64. Pray tell, Anon, the foundation of what problem? We are discussing how certain Feminists present their arguments, or at least I was. I don't recall mentioning anything about transsexuals in my comment.

    I don't find transsexuals to be Feminist, as much as they claim to be. I agree with Dirt about that. You can't tell women to have pride while choosing to transition to a male. But I'm just as likely to call every transperson a rapist as I am to call every man a rapist.

    Dirt has made it clear before that this blog isn't for transsexuals, but for everyone else. It's a critique on the concept transitioning, an alternative voice for anyone who is thinking of transitioning. People who claim it's a hate blog can not fathom someone disagreeing with the trans culture without being hatefully transphobic. Most other blogs don't attempt to help those questioning, and that's the main difference between Dirt and "hate blogs." Dirt actually cares about the girls swept up in a trend.

    So please, Anon, don't twist my words around to make all of the other Feminists look hateful. I feel there are better ways to present their ideas, but it doesn't make the basis of their arguments to be any less valid.

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  65. Guess what - you can't stop other people's thoughts. So unfair, right? They should be thinking only what you think they should. Life's a bitch.

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  66. Who gives a shit if anyone hates or doesn't hate men? They are big boys.

    This post was BORING Dirt! Hope you are feeling better from your flu though. That sounds unfun.

    PS - Mazel tov to CBL. I have a son too, they are loads of fun.

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  67. What is so great about being butch anyway? All you're really doing is emulating men... men's clothing, short hair, etc, etc, etc. Transmen are simply taking it to the next level.

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  68. Anonymous said...
    What is so great about being butch anyway? All you're really doing is emulating men... men's clothing, short hair, etc, etc, etc. Transmen are simply taking it to the next level.
    July 16, 2011 7:33 PM

    These are the type of comments that are not helping the trans community get their point across whatsoever. Besides transmen are emulating biological men if thats the case.

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  69. To be fair, the accusation "you just hate men" isn't a valid counter argument. So what if you hate men? It’s not relevant. I don’t understand why so many folks employ ad hominem; perhaps someone has very good reasons for hating men. Like me for example. I have never met a good man in my life, and even if I had, so what? There are plenty of good womin out there, who are statistically less likely to rape me. I don’t need to waste my time on little boys who think that I should give two shits about them just because they’re special snowflakes who don’t molest womin. Womin don’t owe men anything, even our tolerance.

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  70. Anon@7:44am

    I dont hate males. The closest relationships in my have been with males. In fact I had the most awesome dad in the world. One who encouraged me to be the me I was, not the me the gender straight jacket had lined up for me to be.

    I do however hate the patriarchal structures in place that harm females.

    dirt

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