Change Your World-NOT your Body

Friday, May 6, 2011

Gender Queer

As mentioned in a previous post, I was asked to say a little something on "genderqueer", and "a little something" is about all gender queer will get from me. Gender queer, like "gender bender," is an engendered term of Queer Theory/theorist. Like all things queer, gender queer is empty of any meaning until the individual who is utilizing the term fills it with their particular brand of meaning, depending on the time of day of course.

Gender queer falls directly under the Special Snowflake Syndrome umbrella. The individual who chooses to inject meaning into gender queer feels a sense of specialness, which they clearly are lacking. Think of teenagers trying on new hair styles or piercings while searching for who they are. Gender queer is an identity outfit, put on, then later discarded once the person matures past needing a pseudo identity.

In a nutshell gender queer is yesterdays bisexual, a temporary "identity" that houses the individual until the individual matures, discarding gender queer, no longer needing the term to feel unique. As gender queer is a transitory identity I havent much else to say on the matter.

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36 comments:

  1. Dirt, why don't you believe bisexuality exists?

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  2. Some of my daughter's teenage friends call themselves genderqueer. Some of them use gender neutral pronouns like "ze" or "they", or even pronouns of their own invention. I don't find it particularly objectionable, especially as they are teens trying different things on. Some of it might even be healthy. So although I don't really care for the term genderqueer, I don't have an issue with what they are doing, as long as it doesn't involve anything permanent like hormones or surgery. It is kind of reminiscent of the Rocky Horror/David Bowie/Annie Lennox kind of genderbending. However, when gender issues cross over into dysphoria, body hatred, rejection of femaleness and misogyny, then I feel that is a different matter altogether.

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  3. I'm a lesbian who identifies as genderqueer, because I'm not comfortable with the other labels that lesbianism offers me, such as butch, femme, etc. It doesn't mean that I think that I'm special, it's just a way of representing myself as a unique kind of woman. I simply use it to help embrace and explain my expression as a lesbian and as a woman. I mean, the only other term within the lesbian world I'm remotely close to would probably be tomboy or something like that, and I'm not too sure how much I like that. Regardless, labels aren't very important to me anyways, and I'm satisfied to just be myself, a proud woman and a proud lesbian.

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  4. "It doesn't mean that I think that I'm special, it's just a way of representing myself as a unique kind of woman."

    Special=Unique

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  5. Im not a lesbian, im not a straight woamn. I dont desire a heteronormative relationship and i jump at anything other than heterosexual.

    I like " queer" that umbrella. I fall for everyone under that umbrella, and i look at myself and see myself being void of a specific gender identity.

    What would you call that?

    confused?
    Ha, sure go ahead.
    I dont know what you want to call me then. And by the way...

    This is NOT the " Cool" thing to do when you live on an AIR FORCE BASE! AND work every week day 7-4 and have no gay community around you.

    Yeah " cool" thing...there we go...

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  6. Im not a lesbian, im not a straight woamn. I dont desire a heteronormative relationship and i jump at anything other than heterosexual.

    I like " queer" that umbrella. I fall for everyone under that umbrella, and i look at myself and see myself being void of a specific gender identity.

    What would you call that?

    confused?
    Ha, sure go ahead.
    I dont know what you want to call me then. And by the way...

    This is NOT the " Cool" thing to do when you live on an AIR FORCE BASE! AND work every week day 7-4 and have no gay community around you.

    Yeah " cool" thing...there we go...

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  7. Don't label me...May 6, 2011 at 10:38 PM

    What's wrong with being gender queer? I hate labels anyways but what is wrong with that? What's also wrong with someone calling themselves queer? If that is want you want to be called than so be it.
    I am just so not into labels and never have been. I just believe in being who and whatever you are and loving whoever you are in love with at the moment putting all labels aside. Works for me and those I have loved.

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  8. Sorry to be Captain Random but...

    I actually wrote a term paper on this for my CNF workshop. I find this kind of thing fascinating.

    Not that any of you care about my schoolwork. If it wasn't almost midnight and if I didn't have to wake up at 6am I'd totally delve into this. Eh. Maybe tomorrow.

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  9. for people like 'ache' identity seems to be based entirely upon phony rebellion against a phony enemy
    this will not work as one gets older; it's a laughable immature mindset

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  10. Lol@Anon 958
    Wow. I don't think I'm better than anyone, and I'm not sure how being unique is thinking of one's self as being superior. I can tell you right now I don't think that about myself at all, however, I do believe that I am unique, as is every other god damn person in the world; otherwise, we'd all be clones, no wouldn't we? You should read and analyze what I say before you make rash and uneducated responses.

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  11. The same thing could be said for being butch. Aside from the way you present yourself, what makes you different from other lesbian women?

    You could bow to the patriarchal roles laid out for women just as many females do. But you choose not to, out of your inherent feelings of butchness. I could stick that with the 'special snowflake' label too if I pleased, and provide opinions...I mean, evidence...just as you consistently do against someone else's identity.

    Butch is a construct just as any sort of "trendy" gender is. Butchness is something you feel makes you unique, or dare I say it, "special", when in reality nothing distinguishes you from anyone else.

    The silly pissed off ftms and silly pissed off lesbians who come here are no different from you. It's the blind fighting the blind, which for someone like me who understands their own human blindness, is damned funny to watch. (I'll quietly prepare now, as usual, to be refuted with deletion/accusation that I'm an ftm or otherwise 'queer' person/explanation of how butch is indeed special where everything else isn't.)

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  12. "However, when gender issues cross over into dysphoria, body hatred, rejection of femaleness and misogyny, then I feel that is a different matter altogether".

    @DM (9:48pm)

    Could you please explain to me why gender dysphoria in your mind equals misogyny? I might be misinterpreting this all together, but I truly am just curious. To me, being unhappy in your OWN skin (if you happen to be a female) is different from hating women all together.

    Thanks!

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  13. @JustCurious-

    Gender=Sex Role
    Dysphoria=Distress
    Sex role distress is a natural response of females to male supremacist sex roles.

    When people claim that sex roles are good and natural and that their distress must be caused by their female body, because that is the sex that the role is imposed upon, that is misogyny.

    Misogyny=Hatred of Females.

    Only someone who hates females would claim that sex roles are innate, and that females who suffer sex-role distress must not be real females.

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  14. Okay, I get you probably don't like it cos it's got "queer" in the name.

    So let's rename it - Gender variant? gender fluid? Third gendered? Gender I don't know what everyones problem with me looking like they can't label me is? Gender tutu's and football jerseys are an awesome combination? Gender I know I'm supposed to be a grown up and one day I'll stop cutting my hair and get a real job? Genderfuckingupyourperceptions? Gender hey maybe my body and brain don't quite match so I'm just gonna roll with it? Gender I'm not picking a goddamn side and you cannot make me? Gender I'm not terribly special, but you can tell what kind of pronouns you should use for me by my hat, and I don't mind if you get mixed up, cos so do I? Gender I was a boy who somehow grew into a woman and thats okay, cos the man-boy-person is still in me and I can let him play when I want to?
    Gender Im a woman in a suit or a man in a dress and I love my body and the expression I can make with it to the world?

    And that expression is I AM AWESOME in my manliness; and I AM AWESOME in my womanliness.

    Although usually my expression has lots more swearing in it.

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  15. Special snowflake syndrome? My God, if you really are a qualified mental health professional I'd think about giving up those credentials. Questioning your identity throughout your youth is a perfectly healthy rite of passage.

    I used to have a degree of respect for you until you said 'gender queer is yesterdays bisexual'. Bisexual is a perfectly valid sexual identity. I'm not even going to try discussing it.

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  16. There is no such thing as "gender variant", thats more bullshit excreted from the male medical machine.

    Because a male or female does not conform to the strict gender norms currently in place, in no way, shape or form makes them any less male or female.

    I pity any person adopting such nonsense.

    dirt

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  17. Anon@12:15am,

    If you've ever had the pleasure of meeting/knowing a Butch, it is clear from the outset that Butch isnt something tried on, but something natural. Butches natural carry their brand of femininity distinctly different than most other women, which usually begins being noticed at the latest around age 2, observant parents may notice it a bit sooner.

    Because Butch is something some females are born, we do not have the luxury to cast "butch" off or out grow such as the bored gender queer youths.

    dirt

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  18. DLM,

    There is nothing wrong with gender queer, its merely an identity outfit that all out grow. Think, punk or new wave.

    dirt

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  19. "because I'm not comfortable with the other labels"

    Why do you have to choose a label anyway?

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  20. I feel sorry for the queer umbrella hipsters. They're just showing that they could be easily swayed, from sex to politics. They lack the ability to stand their ground or to simply say no.

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  21. People say the don't like to label themselves, but then they go out and erase "Women" from "Women's Studies" they use gender queer, and bisexual is a meaningless term, because if you have sex with men you are straight if you have sex with women you are lesbian. You can't have a bisexual relationship with another person.
    The fake thing is the fake rebellion, so genderqueer youth want an identity, just like hippies did in the 60s, or punks or greasers, or gang bangers.... teenage mentality is about this, so gender itself is kind of a fad term as well. Again, any tactic to erase making women central to any discussion will do, and ho hum, that is patriarchy, which never seems to be a fad going out of style any time soon!

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  22. I love this article. It is brillant because it shows how empty are those words invented by straight bdsm theoricians/scholars to steal tenure and job position and budget and a whole department from lesbian and gay people killing so the lesbian and gay studies.

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  23. "bisexual is a meaningless term, because if you have sex with men you are straight if you have sex with women you are lesbian."

    Umm I've had sex with men before. As have most lesbians. What does that make me?

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  24. Just Curious @ 3:59 am asked me “why gender dysphoria in your mind equals misogyny?” Gallus Mag gave a good response.

    I don’t think the terms are directly equivalent, but I do feel that internalized misogyny, which could also be called internalized sexism, is a factor that contributes to feelings of body hatred and dysphoria. We live in a society that sends constant messages that women are second-class, that our bodies don’t measure up to some standards, that we are weak, that we are sex objects, etc., etc., and we internalize many of these negative messages.

    Society also indoctrinates us from birth about sex roles: what activities, personality characteristics and clothing are appropriate for our sex. This conditioning is so insidious that some of us mistake it for something innate.

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  25. Dirt,

    Then what would you call someone who has all the physical, mental, and emotional characteristics of a Butch, except they are sexually attracted to men?

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  26. My spouse is pushing 30 and identifies as gender queer/androgyn.
    Ze has for years.
    So much for a youthful identity.

    Instead of casting aside of the female or male aspects of hir soul ze has reveled in them and embraced hir third gender.

    I will grant that alot of gender is a bullshit construct, but not all of it is.

    Most feminists and lesbian sepratists want nothing to do with men. Why? Is there some quality about men that is inescapable? Is there something about a woman that is special that men can never understand? That men can never be a part of?

    We know that men and women do have some ephemeral something about them that sets them apart from the other sex.

    These diferances need to be acknowledged and respected. Not denied or ussed to control women.

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  27. Anon @ 11:46

    Phony Rebellion?

    Yeah well i could call everything you do in your life a phony rebellion as well. Especially if your a Lesbian. I could just as easily say you are rebelling against being a normal Man lovin woman like everyone else.

    I have no idea where in my comment i said anything to make you think anything i was doing was un somehow a rebellion.

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  28. "... i jump at anything other than heterosexual."
    "I like " queer" that umbrella. I fall for everyone under that umbrella...
    gross

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  29. @Ariel: If you're in a *real* relationship with a woman, "bisexuality" should be meaningless. Your relationship would be considered lesbian, so why would you ID as bisexual unless you intend to have bisexual relations? That doesn't sound like the makings of a stable relationship.

    @Cynthia: Because adults are completely immune to Special Snowflake Syndrome, eh? Btw, feminists and lesbian separatists are two different things. There's nothing on Dirt's blog to suggest that she's a separatist, so your argument is invalid.

    @Ache: If you're getting that defensive because of what a total stranger said, it's actually quite telling.

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  30. Sexual desires do not disappear even if they are lying dormant meaning not actively seeking another partner. Bisexuality is a valid ID. Much better than "temporary" IDs based upon relationships. Not very stable. IMO. I guess I'm just a believer of Alfred Kinsey's scale.

    But I'm more concerned about the policing of gender, sexuality, and sex roles than the words people use to describe said actions. All it does is cause confusion and self hatred. I think thats why the words like genderqueer were created anyway. So Either people will wave a white flag and surrender, people will get up and fight to reclaim what is theirs,people will create their own IDs, or people will feel they are invalid resulting in thinking something is wrong with them....

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  31. Dirt (and sadly, yet evidently, others alike),

    I still love how you think YOU get to decide how someone else identifies. If you get to state whether or not someone else's identity is real- we should be allowed to do the same to your identity.

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  32. lesbianplusfeministMay 9, 2011 at 3:10 AM

    Cynthia,

    "Souls" are not male or female; bodies are.

    Please learn something about feminism. Separatists want nothing to do with men because they are violent and hate womyn.

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  33. “People say the don't like to label themselves, but then they go out and erase "Women" from "Women's Studies" they use gender queer, and bisexual is a meaningless term, because if you have sex with men you are straight if you have sex with women you are lesbian. You can't have a bisexual relationship with another person.”

    And if you have sex with men and women then you are [a] bisexual – therefore bisexual is not a meaningless term. While it can be said that you can’t have a “bisexual relationship” with another person, when a bisexual is in a relationship they’re still a bisexual. Being in a relationship does not somehow negate the bisexual identity, since being bisexual is having the capacity to be sexually attracted to both males and females. How is this hard to grasp?

    “If you're in a *real* relationship with a woman, "bisexuality" should be meaningless. Your relationship would be considered lesbian, so why would you ID as bisexual unless you intend to have bisexual relations? That doesn't sound like the makings of a stable relationship.”

    I love the implication here that any relationship composed of a bisexual woman and a lesbian (and by extension, between any gay man and a bisexual man) is not “real”. Please get down off your high horse. Not everyone is monosexual. They continue to ID as bisexual because /they are bisexual/. It’s really quite simple. Identifying as bisexual does not mean that a person intends to have bisexual relations, far from it. :/ Many bisexuals are in loving, stable relationships, relationships with firm foundations.

    Dirt, I'm curious, what are your opinions on bisexuality/bisexuals?

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  34. *Identifying as bisexual does not mean that a person intends to have relations with a person/people of the opposite sex to their partner, far from it. :/

    ^ better phrasing

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  35. YEAHHH!!!! Gender queer sucks. Lesbians should be all about preserving women identity, not blending ourselves with lesbian wannabes who ain't got the politics down.

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