Change Your World-NOT your Body

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Trans Trending-Who is Transitioning

Luckily I grew up around people who actually practiced the saying "it takes a village to raise a child", so that where a parent may be absent or society fails, there were others who cared enough to step in when you needed it or put their foot in your ass if thats what was required. One has to ask not simply where are these girl's parents, but where the hell are any of their family that they would wind up here?

dirt
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42 comments:

  1. Dirt, if I may, I want to say one thing: sometimes families are absent, but sometimes it's just something they didn't even suspect. With the internet, anyone can "be trans" online and never revealing anything for years to their family. That's what I did, partially because I wanted to be sure, and partially because I was scared. Both my mother and my father raised me saying I could be anything I wanted, and I'm glad they did. But I still developed body dysphoria, because there's such an anti-female bias in our culture, history, religion, medias, you name it. Children are shaped by outside forces as well (the "village"). That's why we should all care for everyone else, for our village to be good. Another thing that really disturbs me is the trans mentality, how "if they don't agree with me they must be wrong / they hate me" which I see everywhere in the replies. Transpeople, please stop being self-centered and actually dialogue with the "cis-privileged" outside the community. You might discover you have something more in common with them than you thought.

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  2. "One has to ask not simply where are these girl's parents, but where the hell are any of their family that they would wind up here?"

    People probably thought the same thing about you when you came out as a lesbian.

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  3. Wow, they all start to look the same after a while on T, huh.

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  4. I totally agree with Bluetraveler.

    Most of the time those "proud" transmales are only proud online as they don't even have the balls to tell their family and parents they started something that would change their body.
    See there: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cERr_t0j7w where the person says his family thinks he is just a sort of "masculine butch" as they re not even aware he is on T for 3 months. You imagine that? Your kid is 18-20 years old, is damaging her body and you don't even have a clue about it?

    You would be surprised by the number of those kids who are "out" on social networks and who fear to tell stuff to relatives.
    It is why the "real life experience" assessment made by doctors should be adapted to our new communication world: in the past (10-15 years ago), a real life experience (to live as a male) was meaning something, it was really a psychological step: the person had at that time only her inner circle of parents and friends to come out and to experience real life disguised as a male prior to transition.
    Nowadays, every "Caroll" can be called "Mike" on YouTube or Facebook but is it a real life experience to have virtual friends (sometimes from other countries) encouraging you to transition?

    Also another hint: there is nothing like a collborative channel on YouTube with parents/relatives (I exclude girlfriends) of trans-people.

    It deserves a whole post to have a discussion around what it means to have a real life experience as male and what it means to come out...

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  5. Dirt, please, play nice. I agree with Bluetraveler on the fact that there is often a difference between being trans online and IRL.

    They're young, also. My age (I'm 18). If you're going to offer them advice, do it with tact.

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  6. it seems unlikely that there would be 30 'dislikes' without some comments
    i would love to read more pro-trans arguments here so i have an idea what they come up with...
    i did look at some of these kids' depressing videos and once again was directed to an endless supply of more like them...
    i'd love to know how the ftm's explain the enormous growth of the phenomenon- they were all supposed to be born male? why has the number of nature's mistakes grown so suddenly? no reason?

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  7. the aidens strike again!

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  8. @Dirt re "never being in"

    Yes, alot of us never had the luxury of being "in"

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  9. "One has to ask not simply where are these girl's parents, but where the hell are any of their family that they would wind up here?"

    Who's to say that these young people's parents and families aren't fully supportive of them. My parents support me as does the rest of my family - including my 86 year old grandmother.

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  10. My point exactly LM, how horrible and sad. I'm sorry for you.

    dirt

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  11. was just reading this article about teenagers making bad decisions when encouraged by friends:
    http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/03/teenagers-friends-and-bad-decisions/?hp
    couldn't help but think of the trans kids...
    (of course we already know scientifically that brains aren't fully developed until the mid-20's- a reason i think it's unethical for children to be allowed to transition)

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  12. I don't want your pity. I am surrounded by people who love and accept me.
    You should save your pity for those whose families don't accept them, who get kicked out of their parent's homes and lose friends for being their true selves, whether that is gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or anything else.

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  13. If you were truly loved, supported and accepted by you family and yourself, transition would have never entered your mind.

    "Supporting" transition isnt love, its in fact the opposite of love, which is apathy. But I can understand why you would choose not to look any deeper than the surface "support" and "acceptance" from your family, to do otherwise would be devastating.

    dirt

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  14. well if you were supported by your family and loved and hit on by men, you would never have been a Lesbo, BITCH!!

    hypocrite fool

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  15. Its precisely because I was/am loved by my family for who I am, that I never had to be in a closet or transition to male in order to express myself in ways that are natural to me despite being viewed as unnatural to society.

    dirt

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  16. Dirt,
    Can you justify why you pick on people who are at least 20+ years younger than you? You say it is because you "care" but how come your comments section is so skewed? We all know you censor your comments so your "agenda" is pushed.

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  17. I dont know why support from families of FTM's is not support you actually call it "apathy" but you can be gay and be supported for it? Now now Dirt I dont think its like that. If we want to talk about societies views, lesbians are the lowest on the totem pole. Asking a trans person to explain why theyre transitioning or doing what the feel like they have to do to live with themselves is like asking you guys why are you gay. And its not because you dont like sex with men because most of you engage in penetration through dildos and other phallus like things. Or the age old "Men are sexist pigs" story. Because you feminists are pretty sexist yourselves. But thats generally how it goes when you sit so high on your soap boxes, you forget that youre no better than the rest of us

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  18. please, dirt, if any ftm leaves a coherent comment (not based on 'fuck you bitch'es (which i figure are a result of testosterone overwhelming a confused brain)) i'd truly like to read it, please PLEASE ftm's: tell us why you think there has been such an extreme (understatement) spike in the number of young female transitioners over the past decade or so?

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  19. Rock on Dirt! They really are at straws with this one!


    And remember: the ultimate evil is SELFISHNESS AND APATHY, it's the black hole of narcissism the trans community is all soaked in. But you can get out!

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  20. The families are there, but some just don't approve of what you do because you are their child, and they don't want to see you grow and become independent with your choices. I know that for a fact. One thing is that not everyone is going to think alike. Some parents think that it's okay for your child to be themselves and be true. I once identified as a lesbian, and no my parents didn't approve of that. Just like society doesn't approve of anything that the GLBT community does. Just like any other transmale. I had to lie to myself to pretend to make myself seem better. Right now the glbt community is at war with each other, and it needs to stop. I support everything you're saying, but like you I have my own opinion. I just don't agree with everything posted here because your parents can't tell you what to do forever. They just have to let go.

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  21. transitioning is quite the opposite of being your self and true

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  22. 'what they have to do to live with themselves'
    very telling, that

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  23. I have always had all the support from my family in everything I have done. For them it was not weird or strange that I became a man. They said it all made seens when I transitiond, my behaivor as a child, the way i acted in the lockerroom in school.

    But i was not born completlly female. I'm intersex. It's hard to be born between. I looked like a girl when i was younger, but as i got older i started to look more and more like a man. But i still was not really a boy or girl. And people could not tell what i was.

    They did not actually find out that i was intersex until i had already started to transition. I almost dont need to take any testo, because my body has almost as much as a normal male on it's own.

    People say that it's different for me, because i was born intersex. That it's not the same as being trans.
    But, why not?
    Maybe there is a little differens in transpeoples bodys or brains? Something the scientist have not found yet. We can't really know forsure.
    Because we dont really know that much about the human brain after all.

    But finally, I agree with Dirt.
    The trans-trend is going to kill alot of people when they still dont feel better inside.
    And end up being something they later dont really wanted to be.

    Love from cold Europe.

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  24. Jake, there is quite a difference between having consensual sex with whomever (___sexuality) and using synthetical hormones and disfiguring surgeries on your body in order to disguise your birth body's sex as much as possible(transitioning). THAT's a relevant difference, and don't pretend it doesn't exist. Transitioning is medical and medical-invented.

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  25. Call me old fashioned but I still do think transition is a very private matter.

    Everybody can have doubts and we all are ready to go this journey to a certain point: some of us will do natural transition, some of us will not even need to be on T, some of us need a phallo...
    Every transition is unique.
    Having parents, friends, doctors, YouTube friends/subscribers and partners all involved in it is too much of a crowd and certainly too much pressure for a choice that is ours. It is not transition anymore but base jumping.

    And it is stressfull because you can't even walk at your own pace and have your own questionning expressed and adressed.

    For this reason, I never supported the idea of being out as trans at the beginning of the transition.

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  26. disappointed butchFebruary 4, 2011 at 5:13 PM

    I have never came on this blog and showed my ass, but dirtywhitegirl is way out of line! Congrats to LM on having such an awesome family! As for Dirt you are a SAD SAD SAD person! You will never know what true love is. LOVE is unconditional! I pity you, I really do. If your family says that they love, then they will NOT turn their backs on you. They will support you being happy. STOP talking about something that you know NOTHING about! How dare you tell someone that their family doesn't love them because they support them. That it definitely love! I am not going to say the things to you that I really want to because I am an adult and act my age, unlike you. I will pray for you. You could truely use Jesus and the council of a church.

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  27. There are more people transitioning these days for the same reason that more and more people are coming out as gay or lesbian. Society is changing and these things are more acceptable. People say there are no dumb questions, but that my friend wss a dumb question!

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  28. This kids are robots.

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  29. I came across this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MrXlDAQqDM and since when I think FTM are mentally disabled and have a severe disability.
    This guy is doing a video on YouTube while he is NOT "out" ie he has not informed his family of his will of changind his body...
    Is he an idiot?
    What else can I say? I am just speechless.

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  30. @ disappointed Butch
    Thank you so much for your comment. I have been steaming over Dirt's reply for days. She should be absolutely ashamed to tell someone that their family does not love them. Is that what this blog is about? Dirt goes to such great lengths to say that FTMs are self-hating women - or victims of misogyny, only to beat them down again.
    Dirt, if you really believe that I am trans because I hate myself , why would you say such a thing?

    I would also like to point out that my family had to go through a lot of shit to get and to raise me. I'm adopted and not the same race as them - we got stared at, i was told I wasn't their "real" child, sibling, etc. My father thought he could get stopped by police for "stealing" me from stores.
    As a result of all of these things and others, we have an unshakable bond - certainly a something a cyberbully like you could not change or understand.

    Dirt, I am embarrassed for you.

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  31. There is no shame in truth, only in perpetuating ignorance and silence.

    dirt

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  32. WOW. You really are unbelievable. I have to wonder what has happened in YOUR past to make you so full of hate and disdain for your fellow human beings.

    I hope someday you find true peace and happiness, because it is clear to me that you live with many demons and internal conflicts. Please get some help, you clearly need it. I'm sure you will disagree with my assessment, and even have some clever comments to mask the truth (let me guess, I'm the one that needs help?)

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  33. FTM are just an illusion and a fraud!
    And the whole LGBTQI community is playing an active role in this masquerade. Open your eyes!

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  34. "FTM are mentally disabled and have a severe disability."

    it is insulting for disabled people.

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  35. Ever thought that there are more "female transitioners" lately because we're not all killing ourselves? Almost half of trans people attempt suicide nowadays, what do you think it was like when everyone was like you or worse in their treatment of us? There's also been an upward trend in numbers of out gay people and I'm sure you would explain that away with it being more socially acceptable to be out. The same thing applies to trans people.

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  36. i saw this crazy guy on youtube, but the one and only thing he said is....."put a peanut in a pistachio shell and it is still a peanut" chop off your tits and fill your body with "T"....you're still a WOMAN!!

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  37. Dirt, I think you are a hot,proud butch woman! I also date ftms, so not into all of the politics of that. I basically just like non-bio masculinity.
    But I want to know why you tease us with that picture!? The one thing I LOVE about dating butches is they always have such GORGEOUS BREASTS!! There is nothing hotter than butch boobies!! Please give us some more revealing pics ;-)

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  38. Please tell me this is a joke. You naive twat.

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  39. Now, everyone has the right to free speech. Including Dirt. I can respect your opinion (even though it may be biased), but its your opinion. "disappointed butch" and "LM" also have strong opinions on the subject.
    I am a straight "cisgendered" male (incase you don't know what that means, it means I have a penis and love being a guy) I cant get mad at you for the hurtful things you've said to the demographic of trans people because I get the sense of internalized-transphobia.
    I think this blog is your subconscious lashing out in the sense that you could actually relate to Trans person. (anyone could really, with the concept of your body not matching the perception of oneself)
    But you, i feel you have taken it to another level. For one, your username is Dirtywhiteboi
    With that alone, I feel that is enough evidence for me to think thats how are perceives you. Im sorry. I am very passionate when it comes to the stigma butch lesbians go through, because you go outside the social constructed gender role. Its not fair, and stupid to live in a society where you automatically loose your "femininity" because you have a more masculine character.
    And I really do hope your truly honest when you say you have a form of support. But I question that because why would you create a blog lashing out at a particular group? it seems that you are letting out some internal frustration with yourself.
    Though in your defense, I hope you've done extensive research on Trans, and that you KNOW exactly why you are putting them down. And not for obvious/physical reasons. But that you are putting down a group of human beings that have enough trouble dealing with their own criticism, let alone their family and friends, the people in their neighborhoods, school, society at large, and now you...
    So before you go off telling people they are dirt, (trust me, in the cruel world we live in they already feel they are) if i were u I would stop, look in the mirror and and thank god that you are proud to be who you are. Then I would tell yourself that you are special and that you truly love yourself, body mind and spirit. And that just like a Trans person, you are who you are, and not what society tells you.
    I hope you all the best, and I hope you eventually learn that to put down someone you feel is beneath you, is only lowering yourself.
    TO MY FELLOW TRANS PPL THAT HAVE THE STOMACH TO TAKE IN ALL THIS HATE, SHE IS JUST ONE SMALL-MINDED INDIVIDUAL THAT JUST LIKE ALL OF US IS MAD AT SOMETHING INTERNALLY (REGARDLESS OF WHAT SHE MIGHT SAY OTHERWISE)
    BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU, YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU HAVE MY SUPPORT EVEN IF I NEVER MEET YOU, SEE YOU, OR HEAR YOU, I LOVE YOU. let me take this time to apologize for everything you have and sadly will go through!
    Dirt, you have my sympathies. I would say love, but i feel you would take that out of context. But I still respect you and hope you all the best... Im just sorry that you feel you are doing the "right" by spreading hate, the statement's true " Two wrongs, don't make a right" the sooner you learn that, the better person and FEMINIST, I hope you could be.

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  40. sorry typo... "With that alone, I feel that is enough evidence for me to think thats how, 'you have been or are perceived by society'...."

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  41. I heart you Anonymous in the last post who gave love to all the transpeople even if you never meet them you are the type of person who gives me hope for us as a society. Dirt I love you too even though in no way or form could I ever ever approve of what you do here or say. I love you as one human to another and its so sad to me that you feel the need to spread so much hate under the thin guise of caring. You dont have to agree with transpeople's choices but if you truly care I mean seriously truly care how could you spread so much hate about them when they struggle enough as it is. I'm not gonna get into an argument of who's right and who's wrong suffice to say I do not agree with your assessment of transmen at all. Its just so sad to me that you deal with this disagreement using hate when you preach so much hate of your fellow humans you can never know true happiness even if you think you're happy you just dont know what youre missing. I really hope someday you can cleanse your soul of all this anger and hate and know what life can be like when you know true love of yourself ad all of human kind.

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