Change Your World-NOT your Body

Thursday, January 6, 2011

NCLR Poll Pie Chart


Nearly 62% of those who voted feel that the National Center for Lesbian Rights NCLR should serve strictly Lesbians, reflecting both its name and the purpose for which the org. was originally founded. I find this to be a very high number given the amount of trans readership of this blog. Which makes me think, were large samples of the lesbian communities made aware of the deceptive nature of the NCLR that number would be even higher.

I have already received a few emails and a handful of Facebook messages from lesbians who were not aware how strongly malecentric in both staff and cases that the NCLR is and going forward swore they will no longer financially support such malecentrism. The lesbians I'm speaking of were aware that the NCLR did take on cases that  were gay male and/or trans related, what they were NOT aware of was the high volume of such cases at the expense of lesbians.

I also received what reads to me like a polite passive-aggressive email from the exec. director of the NCLR which I'll share in the (part 2) NCLR post I'll try to have to you no later than Saturday.

There seems an overwhelming response from lesbians expressing that we did not and do not know how UNlesbian this org is, even though the National Center for LESBIAN Rights is USING our very lives to sell their false products/promises. I know we have for some time now been lacking in REAL Lesbian community, both in spirit and heart. We feel our identities, that special entity which creates community, have been colonized and brutalized by queer/trans groups for decades now, the same groups the NClR supports. I cant even put a number on the amount of lesbians who have expressed to me alone a desire to distance themselves from identifying as lesbian! We all know a handful of these women, maybe you're one of those women.

Maybe you are one of the many women loving women who cannot fathom calling yourself a lesbian any longer, because lesbian has been emptied of its beauty, its uniqueness, its natural feminism, its absolute in your fucking face fierceness, its kind gentle hands, its strong capable hands, hand that build homes for our lives, hands that bring us ecstasy! Emptied and replaced with instead male fetishist, women abused by men, male transitioners with penis intact, female transitioners too fearful or selfish, male transitioners with neo-vags, BDSM males, queer males and queer females and combinations of all of the above.

I was only a kid when lesbian feminism was coming into its own, when lesbians across the country and even the world were coming out in droves and finding one another. Finding each other through snail mail and lesbian chapbooks, lesbian magazines without all the fucking gloss, through bars, through sports and through love. There was no world wide web, yet lesbians were finding each other, creating communities and joining other lesbian communities in an us against them collaboration. Then gay men came along, with their all their male privilege and smooth talked us right back into that good girl civility, a civility that we were just beginning to leave behind. A civility patriarchy instilled in us before we could walk or talk, "be a good girl" we were told, we barely tasted the freedom to just be us, without feeling obligated to perform for men. When the men we felt we could trust most, gay men, told us that by being radical no one would listen, no one would take us seriously, that we should pool our efforts and along with using their male privilege our sorry and often times sub human existences would change.

Well ladies, they were right. It has changed. Fitting into polite society was/is the gay male dream, it was never ours, nor within patriarchy could it be. We tried so hard, we fought, but what we were working toward and fighting against was ultimately for men; our needs, our hopes, our dreams never figured in. Somewhere we just gave up, we let ourselves be led, we listened, we folded our hands in our laps and crossed our legs just so and we lost our identity. Like a strong independent woman, who once married didnt think much at first about picking up her husbands dirty draws off the bathroom floor, or making him dinner even though she works too, its a partnership she thinks to herself, she works to convince herself its a partnership till she just does what she does, house work, child care, laundry, chores etc. Sometimes who she was before comes flooding back to her, but her hubby is always there to remind her how lucky she is and how far she has come. This is what I despise about places like the NClR and all other "queer" organizations, lesbians are always forced or pressured or expected to be the fucking dutiful housewives who should count our fucking blessings that we have been chosen to pick up their shit stained tightie-whities from the mucky floors all the while with a smile on our chops!

I think we just need to admit that we fucked up and move forward by moving backward. There was so much promise in those early days of collective lesbianism, so many great ideas (and NO I'm not talking about separatism-bad idea-bad bad bad) so much energy, drive, shared experiences, learning new experiences together. With the internet we can reach so many more lesbians than our fore-lesbians had, we can be effective in ways they probably didnt even dream. But before we can do any of that, before we can reach for our sisters hand and take a giant step forward, we MUST take back our name.

My name is Lynn and I am a Lesbian.

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8 comments:

  1. I may be without a community of more than one. I may be afraid of never finding the circle of loving women beyond the one who I love with everything in me.
    That does not mean I am not a proud lesbian. My own person.
    My name is Sebastian. Lesbian, individual, mother, friend, daughter, and then some. Thanks Lynn, for this post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Agreed! Lesbians should stand back from the lGBT BORG MACHINE (aka queer, aka patriarchial machine).
    This organization is a scam, I'm glad you talked about this. I'm straight but I think
    -everyone should concern themselves with minorities' rights, wheter they are part of said minorities or not
    -lesbian rights are different from QUEER rights and in being so very tied to female rights they can help dismantle this patriarchal system.

    So go onwards with pride!

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  3. You are more than welcome Seb. Stay inspired!

    dirt

    ReplyDelete
  4. Everything that you have written above brings me to tears. I was so fortunate to have lived and come out in those days. (early 70's)

    How can any woman have a sense of that any more? It has been so thoroughly destroyed. I want it back.

    Dirt, I'm puzzled. Why do you think separatism is a bad idea?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mary, I sympathize.

    Regarding separatism, I'm obviously all for separatist functions, but as a path for change, it changes nothing. It didnt 40 years ago, nor would it today.

    You cannot dismantle patriarchy and challenge misogyny by running off into the woods pretending to be amazons. You want change, REAL change, then you have to be in the belly of the beast. Or at the very least Wittig's Trojan horse.

    dirt

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  6. Bravo Dirt, I this topic is incredibly important. Yes The Trans trend is important also, but this is more important simply because lesbianism, seems to be widely excepted only if there is a male joining in, or watching, but then only if the so called lesbians being joined or watched, look or are of a certain type. If I turn on my T.V. and watch a show or movie, I'm more likely to see a gay man or trans m2f than lesbian. If I do see lesbians they don't resemble anyone I know. Most I think are quasi-bi, or just in it for the money, or attention it may get them. A few posts back, you placed blame for the high number of women thinking they're trans, and asked what we're doing to help. I thought, "I'm doing nothing", and now you post this and the unspoken question here for me is, "What am I doing to help lesbians gain visibility and equal rights? Again, thus far, I'm doing nothing. I agree with what you've posted, but what I finally started to realize, is, I need to fix me. I am a woman who has become complacent, and I have gone along with society's desires, and not what I desire. Again I say, I have to fix me. But in the interim, I can seek out worthy organizations, those that are for lesbian advancement, and help to fund them. If you know of any such solid organizations, I would be thankful for a list to select from, and contribute to. Thank you for this post, it spoke to me and about me, on many levels.

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  7. "If you know of any such solid organizations, I would be thankful for a list to select from, and contribute to."

    Excellent: can you do a list of organizations that are really for lesbians only? Including students org'?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Cilla,

    Glad this post spoke to you Cilla, I hope it speaks to many more lesbians too.

    To both you and Anon, I was wondering what to have a discussion about today. I'll open up a post today requesting suggestions for lesbian only/lesbian student only orgs/groups. Between what I find out and what others add, I will make up a list and keep public on the side of the blog.

    dirt

    ReplyDelete

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