Change Your World-NOT your Body

Friday, January 21, 2011

Friday's Poll Discussion

Please use this post to discuss todays poll question regarding the female partners of transmen.

Open Comments

dirt
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72 comments:

  1. "Lesbians who REALLY wanna be with a (man)"

    %) or even :-(*)!
    +<:-) influence?
    Anyway :-/ about the concept.

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  2. "Lesbians"?
    If you don't eat dick, you don't eat hairy dickclit with male taste...

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  3. Anon@9:18,

    Lets be honest, the minuscule clit growth 9 out of 10 trans(men) gain from T is far too unnoticeable to be calling their clitoris a "dickclit". Another trans myth that needs to be busted.

    dirt

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  4. I also watch their videos on YouTube, and it seems lots are young college students who don't have a clear idea of self or definitions for themselves yet.

    Many of the ones who had been in Lesbian relationships before one partner "transitions" break up. In the couples that stay together it often looks like the non-trans partner grits her teeth and tries to make the best of it, and the wierdest of all is when both transition.
    I haven't seen any cases where basic straight girls/women are involved for any length of time (I'm not counting all the wishy-washy, everything is fluid and I'll-call-myself-whatever-is-convienent types.) A "transman" knows they can't give a straight girl/woman what she wants.
    I really think when all is said and done (the trend is over) "transmen" (and other transpeople) will mostly end up in relationships with eachother.

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  5. You should add a poll just after this one called "as a lesbian will you date a woman who was previously partner of an FTM?"...
    I am sure you will be surprised by the answers...
    For me it is as repellent as being told the woman I have a crush on is bisexual: it turns me off.
    I will also fear STD the trans may have "given" her.
    Sorry I am just human!

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  6. Yep I have a bigger one without Testo. Sorry "guys".

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  7. As the clitoris isnt used for penetration, bigger doesnt mean better anyways.

    That said, if places like xtube have proved anything, it is the clit growth myth from T and the obviously difficultly those on T who have vids there have with orgasming. Very scary.

    dirt

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  8. Anon@9:39,

    Will keep poll suggestion in mind for the weekend. thanks

    dirt

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  9. As a Femme, FTM is a definite turn-off. Also, it would be a relationship killer if my Butch was to transition.

    If I wanted a man, I would be with one. And honestly, the effects of testosterone and surgeries are scary. They say you love someone who they are - well the drugs and surgeries change a person.

    I've seen what it does to perfectly healthy women. The drugs alter their minds and surgeries disfigure them. And usually, transitioning doesn't solve the real problem of body dismorphia and which is not realized until too late.

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  10. "And honestly, the effects of testosterone and surgeries are scary."

    Yes I am always surprised because just after T, there is a "state of grace" (2-3 months after T) where Transguys look ok and they everything goes wrong and totally out of control.
    The best documented videos I have watched on the topic are from this guys:
    * His timeline:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaMc0_hzDrs . The mid term effect are quite noticeable.
    * His vision of beauty: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSTMKIwCxgw
    Don't know what you think about it?

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  11. There seems to be a big difference between lesbians whose current partner decides to trannify and those women who deliberately seek out FTcMs and/or who (wrongly) make no distinction between FTcMs and butches.

    In the first category are lesbians who have the whole trannification of their partners sprung upon them, they try to, as another poster said "grit their teeth" and deal with it, figuring "as long as she still has her vag it will be okay"- until they can no longer deny that their partner is no longer attractive and they break up.
    The second category are pansexual women who do not like either dick or vagina. They often encourage the FTcM dysphoria, because they don't actually want to touch their female partner sexually. They also don't want to touch a male partner sexually, otherwise they would be with one. They want to be the sexual object in a non-reciprocal relationship. This second category is why FTcMs who are long term transitioners end up partnering with each other, or having casual sex with straight men off craigslist who will actually touch their vag even though they look like a short bald sasquatch.

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  12. The sasquatch brigadeJanuary 21, 2011 at 10:35 AM

    "a short bald sasquatch."

    This comment is offensive for sasquatch and clearly sasquatchphobic.

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  13. Don't forget that some straight males are into hirsutism/hairy fetishism so at least they are lucky to have new fantasy objects...

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  14. While I can understand the anger of some towards female transitioners, please lets leave the insults out. If you need an insult to make a point, you have no point.

    Regarding males who date female transitioners, this post is regarding only females who date trans(men).

    dirt

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  15. There is a certain level of safety that all women feel amoung other women (which explains the whole barsexual Girls Gone Wild "bi-sexuality" of many straight women) Unfortunately the rape culture we live in teaches all women to fear actual men. So straight women who date FTMs see it as a level playing field. FTMs are not actually men, but "dress and act the part", so for them that's enough.

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  16. From what I have seen through the years; usually the female partners are bi (but more into bio men) And when they sleep with trans (men), they are pillow princesses. Usually, from what I have seen, they will eventually leave the transitioner for a bio man.

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  17. A close friend of mine, her girlfriend decided to transition. And I could see how that brok my friend apart. The girl she once loved had been replaced with someone who where obesest with being "manly", and started to copy bad streotypical male behaver.

    Of course there relationship ended, because she did not want the person that her girlfriend had become. And i think nobody should transition in a relationship, because that is not right to there partner.

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  18. I take part in an online support group for partners of FtM's.

    I would say we are about 40% straight women, 40% lesbians (who stayed with their partner through/after transition), and 20% bisexual/pansexual/queer.

    I find it interesting that some commentators here are trying to pathologize us. We were sexually abused? We don't like dick? Pillow princesses? College kids still unsure of our (sexual) identity?

    Nah. We are as boring as they come. Regular people. Yawn.

    We fall in love with the *person*; and find that it doesn't matter what is (or is not) between his legs.

    That is me, anyway. A straight woman who met a man, then found out he was FTM, then dated and fell in love with him. Neither *because* he was FTM nor *in spite of* him being an FTM. He is just who he is.

    If I ever return to the dating world, I will be interested in biomen or transmen equally. I might slightly prefer a transman, because I find that my own transman is wise to the ways women experience the world, so he can relate to me in ways that a bioman never could.

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  19. Female Partners of Transmen are:

    Mostly regular heterosexual women. Maybe just a bit more open minded then regular heterosexual women.

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  20. @ Anonymous 11:44 AM
    I'm a femme, and not a "Pillow Princess," so I can't speak from my own bedroom experience. BUT...To be honest here and in all fairness most of the "Pillow Princesses" I know only go for Butches. That seems to be the norm I have run into. They don't want trannys for some reason, just the Butches. They also seem to go for the drag kings too. Maybe it is trendy? Dunno.

    @ Dirt
    I did not that you had left out one choice in your poll. While I realize you don't think it, or maybe you can't comprehend it, but there are those out there where it goes more to the person, and less to what they are. No, that isn't considered Bi-sexual, because there are some who have no desire to be with a biological male, and yet can accept the transitioning of their partner because deep down they know who they are, and what they are doesn't matter. Maybe nativity, maybe a truism... Regardless it is true and does happen.

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  21. Funny as an out dyke for more than 20 years, I've never seen a lesbian say she "falls in love with the person" unless that "person" is a woman. Nice "queer" try though.

    dirt

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  22. Nice to know you are so fair minded and nonjudgmental. I thought from your blur on your main page you were here to be open and have honest discussions.

    QUOTE: "No judgments."

    I think you have a very unique reading comprehension problem.

    Where did I say that they did not fall in love with someone as a female. What I said was...

    "yet can accept the transitioning of their partner because deep down they know who they are, and what they are doesn't matter."

    That would imply that the transition happens AFTER they met.

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  23. A normal straight woman is in love with the man she would have rather met instead of the biomale she has to cope with....
    The missing dick and also the missing sperm is too much: no pleasure, no babies.

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  24. LOLOL ~*~*~i fall in love with the person, not anything else~*~*~*~

    o rly? LMAO

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  25. The female partners of FTMs that I've known have been the transgressive queer type, as in "look at me, I'm so weird, I'm so cutting-edge." Sometimes both the FTM and the partner are of this genre. I knew a couple like this who were into every fringe identity there was: poly, kink, anarchist, pagan, vegan, treesitting, communes- you name it, they were into it. Then the non-trans partner left the FTM to go play with a succession of men and the FTM was exploring attraction to males while living with another freaky bi woman. Maybe they're not all like this, maybe it's just the ones I know.

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  26. Be open minded.
    For a lesbian in the closet or who is not comfortable with her homosexuality, FTM are the ideal solution: a good balance between female sensitivity and social acceptance/benefits (marriage, family events, adoption rights...) if the lesbian partner is ready to accept the drawbacks: hairy body, no boobs...

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  27. Sometimes the female partner is an artist or a photographer and the relationship lasts as long as her "project" is about FTM.
    See there: http://www.youtube.com/user/AYDENandKYLIE

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  28. If you want to see how females FTM partners look like, go there: http://www.youtube.com/user/TMatesFTM#g/a

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  29. In all videos I've seen from FtM's partners, not one seems to experience a smooth, functioning (even remotely satisfing) sex life. Partners have to constantly deal with all the hang-ups the FtM has.
    The whole "passing" just means how well people are being fooled, but the reality hits at the end of the day when they can't even take their clothes off with their partner.

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  30. I have watched this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpcQRiP8VEY called "bottom surgery". Along the video, I was surprised to discover her "Trans" boyfriend is not even on T. I don't know if her partner had top surgery.

    But in any case, can someone tell this lovely Emma she dates in fact a butch? ;)?

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  31. Anon@2:00pm -- this is a joke, right? Lesbians are attracted to women, not "female sensitivity," whatever the hell that is.

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  32. Why are non lesbians always trying to desexualize lesbians??!! Do they think if they convince lesbians we dont love and desire women's breast, women's pussys and the whole female body that we will suddenly start desiring them???

    dirt

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  33. I know plenty of straight women who date trans guys.

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  34. Why would we want you to desire us? Lesbians are often ugly, and from the posts on this forum you appear to be mostly stupid as well. Transmen have a bit more than their share of lovers. And yes, we do fall in love and share our naked bodies with our lovers. And many of us can penetrate our partners with our little dicks. If that doesn't fit the desire, many of us will strap it on, use our fists, or whatever. You are a bunch of pathetic, small-hearted cunts who can't face reality.

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  35. Anon@7:10pm

    Spoken like a true VERY single, woman hater.

    dirt

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  36. Actually I'm engaged to a wonderful, beautiful, smart, sexy woman. Maybe you should stick to making declarations about things you know. Which is...not much.

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  37. Anon@7:23,

    I know your partner isnt a lesbian and you are completely insecure or you wouldnt be here.

    dirt

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  38. I'm actually pretty secure, especially about my transness and my body. The reason I'm here is because I'm very angry at the hatefulness you let yourself get away with, that stems from your insecurity. Butches like you give butch a bad name, and you are spreading lies about what our lives are like. You could actually have an impact on a more tender ftm than myself. I'm here to tell all the people considering transitioning that you can have an absolutely amazing, wonderful life regardless of whether you transition, as long as you keep your head up and ignore dirt and her useless rantings.

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  39. FTMs hate their bodies, that's the bottom line. Maybe they can come to a place of "acceptance" that they will never be what they wish they were, but there is always that wish to be something else. And that is truly sad.

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  40. hey, i love my bloke, met him when we were 14 and he was known as michelle 7 years later we were hanging out he told me he was trans, 7 years 1 month later we started going out. 10 years on we've just bought a house, are planning our wedding and living our lives. Have only ever been with men, sorry ladies don't see the attraction in the slightest. Very straight, very boring, very happy. Posted videos on youtube to show an opinion, to try and (actually) help people, a bit like this claims to but better. Finally would like to wish you happiness and love in your life in the hope that one day you'll find an alternative and healthy way of dealing with all this anger and (self) hatred.

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  41. anon@7:10pm
    "Why would we want you to desire us? Lesbians are often ugly, and from the posts on this forum you appear to be mostly stupid as well."

    By judging lesbians and lumping us all into the same category, you are acting no better than Dirt.

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  42. "Boring"..."Normal"..."Straight"..etc...


    um...ok well isn't that just nice??? what exactly are you trying to say by repeating words like this to explain your lives??

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  43. @Dirt:
    "Funny as an out dyke for more than 20 years, I've never seen a lesbian say she "falls in love with the person" unless that "person" is a woman. Nice "queer" try though."

    Hard to believe, I know, but you haven't met every lesbian in the world.

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  44. @Dirt:
    "While I can understand the anger of some towards female transitioners, please lets leave the insults out. If you need an insult to make a point, you have no point."

    Shit, my Irony Detecter just broke.

    Dirt, do you really not see how you contradict yourself?

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  45. Dirt,

    you are such an angry person. It's really sad. And I mean that with utmost sincerity. I am really sad for you.

    I can't imagine living my life with so much anger coursing through me. You seem like a very, very unhappy person.

    Regardless of whether or not your opinions on trans people change, I hope you can find happiness in some area of your life.

    If this blog has taught me anything, it's to forgive (or at least try to forgive) the people in my life who have caused me the most greif. There is one in particular. I want to forgive her (though she never apologized) more than anything now, because I can't imagine myself in 30 years, at Dirts age, being as angry and unhappy as she is.

    It's no way to live.

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  46. "FTMs hate their bodies, that's the bottom line. Maybe they can come to a place of "acceptance" that they will never be what they wish they were, but there is always that wish to be something else. And that is truly sad."

    No, I don't hate my body. My body is fucking hot and strong. Yep, I'd love to have a dick but I'm doing just fine without it. Hate to break it to ya, but you don't know what you are talking about and you WON"T know what you are talking about unless you stop watching YOUTube videos of 14 year-old ftm's. Which by the way, is not only a very odd pastime, but is also kind of creepy.

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  47. "Yep, I'd love to have a dick but I'm doing just fine without it."


    LOL sure doesn't sound like it. why do you check this blog religiously?

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  48. Why doom yourself to a life of dysphoria and feeling incomplete when you can just get help for issues with these things? Being dependent on a needle injection of fake hormones is no way to live.

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  49. zombies don't care about your strap on.January 21, 2011 at 11:44 PM

    I think this is going to be completely hysterical when the electric grid goes of line in 2012 when the solar flares do damage the the electro-magnetic field surrounding earth ... and all these transguys obsessed with making youtube videos and there one new facial hair that sprouts up every week.. will be in the dark ages without testosterone or any know how to take care of themselves.

    And then the butchie tomboy lesbians are out there taking care of business with their contingency plans walking softly in birkenstocks and owning the apocalypse.

    There's on thing that you gotta ask yourself. When shit hits the fan- and the world as we know it drastically changes and possibly comes to an end and we are fighting for our survival-

    Are you gonna really be that effing concerned about your tits?
    THEY'RE JUST EFFING TITS!
    Are you going to be dependent on anything?
    hm. Testosterone. ?

    I know that relating this is ludicrous. But so is being 19 years old and knowing fuck all about the world, life, your own sexuality and deciding that it's just TOO hard to be a woman- well my best friend is a transitioning- maybe I should.

    Bloody hell. Half of you have never lived outside your parents house, let alone your own town. Hot lesbians do exist. I know cause I am one. I also know, because I get to kiss one every night.

    Women pick themselves apart to the point there is nothing left anymore just because society says we should. Why don't you stop being a lemming. Step away from the computer and the webcam. And go live your life.

    GO live. Stop second guessing yourself every time you talk to someone. Stop questioning what the gas-station attendant thinks of you.

    Go do something worthwhile and make the world a better place.

    Or... you could go flex in front of the mirror and take a series of 50 shots of you shaving till you find the absolute right one to add into you trans-life video slide show.

    BORED NOW.


    Dirt- you rock by the way. Will all the ignorant dialogue. The threats. You truly are benevolent. I would have thrown my hands up by now and said the "hell" with it. But you use your strength and your resources to try and talk some sense into these fad followers. Praise to you.

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  50. "Boring"..."Normal"..."Straight"..etc..."


    Ok if I my play the "straight woman eyes for the queer gals and guys", here, from what I see on the TmatesFTM' channel posted above, the female partners of FTM are the no so special housewife from the middle of nowhere.

    Those no so special, certainly no so beautiful women (most are fat and ugly or trendsetter whose nice look will not survive their 30's) have suddenly found a meaning in their life by taking care of their "baby trans" or playing a pygmalion role with him or to live the teenagehood those women could not have....

    They are dating boy not males.

    Remember that a biomale of the same age is at a different step of development: his brains, his body, his skin, his dick, his muscles, his moods, his males values, his male experiences are quite different from a trans boy.

    And his teenagehood definitely belongs to the past! And he is not searching for a mum but a female partner...

    Those female partners of FTM develop a relationship which has more to do with a mother-son relationship or a pygmalion (artist) relationship, the woman being the pygmalion, than a normal straight relationship.

    As those women are too young or unexperienced with men to be in a fully straight balanced relationship.

    I suspect most of them failed in having a normal straight relationship with a straight biomale of their age or could not have the chance to date a biomale boyfriend as sexy as the trans one because the biomale will find them too ugly or not enough "female", the straight way.

    So as they can't have a biomale in the same category, their compromise is to accept the missing penis to have at least a fake straight life that in appearance socially fullfills their little princess dreams of charming prince...

    In other words, those women are acting in a sort of perfect couple movie instead of living a real mature adult heterosexual couple life...If you have the curiosity to watch the topics and their video answers on TMatesFTM, it is obvious...

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  51. About the transition impacts on the female partner, here is study:

    http://www.icsw.edu/_dissertations/Chase,%20Lisa%20M.%20%5B2010%5D%20-%20WIVES%27%20TALES--THE%20EXPERIENCE%20OF%20TRANS%20PARTNERS.pdf

    "Although the partners in this study have not experienced object loss in the form of
    separation or divorce as a result of their trans partner’s gender transition, that does not
    mean that they have not experienced object loss in other ways as a result of radical
    change."

    "identified the impact on adults who experience the loss of their love object as potentially
    resulting in the regression to an earlier fixation period."

    "Clearly there are many possible responses to object loss with varying degrees of
    severity depending on each individual’s life experience."

    "anaclitic depression, consisting of the following symptoms: lack of contact, crying,
    trepidation, insomnia, sadness, arrested development, decreased appetite, withdrawal
    from any stimuli, refusal to eat, weight loss, and so on."

    "Furthermore, the sexual orientation of participants in Steiner and Bernstein’s (1981) study also changed following their partners’ transition."

    "it is not uncommon for individuals to construct a fantasy that assists in
    obliterating the reality of a change in order to lessen painful affect once the defense
    mechanism of disavowal is activated."

    As you can see dating a woman who decides to become FTM is not neutral for the partner's mental health....

    Of course, you will never see that on YouTube or Tumblr: everything is happy and pink in the FTM world. Trans partners are not suffering like hell through the transition...

    But oh, I have facial hairs growing, I should make a video.

    But wait, hey, think my female partner committed suicide while I was Youtubing. Too bad... ;)!

    In any case, Dirt, thanks for having brought to attention the silenced female partner of FTM...and the article mentioned above deserves a whole post to prevent lesbians to accept anything! :D!

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  52. There must be some hidden reasons why those heterosexual women date those boys instead of fully functioning bio males (dick, sperm, fully male body and brain, male past)...

    Will a normal straight woman date a guy suffering from penile amputation?

    No she will not because normal straight women know that penile amputated males have schizophrenia .

    So why are those women in couple a guy with severe mental issues instead of partnering with a normal guy that can be naturally the father of their children?

    It is a sad way to spend their youth and their life...Or maybe don't they have enough self-esteem?

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  53. Transitioning is one of the most masochistic things ever. Can't imagine living a life where absolutely nothing comes naturally or is natural for that matter. All posturing, posing, hiding, denying, defending, etc etc

    Trans people aren't the same as Gays, Lesbians or Bi-sexuals. We live as we are, not what we wish we could be but never will be. No surgery, no injections, no need to be puffed up by enablers around us.

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  54. "Will a normal straight woman date a guy suffering from penile amputation?

    No she will not because normal straight women know that penile amputated males have schizophrenia "

    LOL what? because ~penile amputation~ is like SOOOO common.

    most straight women who date ftms are ususally just too nice or polite to actually assert what they need/want (an actual man) because godforbid anyones precious little feelings should be hurt, and it may be seen as "omgz not being open minded"...which is bullshit.

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  55. Partnering with a FTM implies you, as a female partner, accepts a role play contract:
    * the female partner will be the submissive/female cliché the way it was the rule in most couples 2 centuries ago.
    *she will have to say “sex is wonderful”, even with plastic dick (if you are straight and you read those lines…, don’t laugh), and fake vaginal pleasure such as it would be a real hard biomale dick.
    *she will have to do all the female stuff (including chores and to wear pink) to make the FTM partner feels more male. If she likes to fix things better than the transguy, she will have to forget about it to have mister playing with the tools.
    * she will have to pretend she is not embarrassed in summer on the beach when everybody is starring at her “man” scars.
    *she will have to find cool to date a “guy” used to be a trans poster boy but who now, 6 years after his transition, is uglier and balder than her fat pervert 50’s old uncle…
    * she will have to be inseminated to fulfil the transdaddy fantasy…
    * her future children to be born will have to be part of FTM fantasy and call a XX “dad” even if the children is a boy and has a bigger penis than his “dad” at birth...


    What kind of woman like to be objectified like this?
    What kind of poor desesperate woman likes to play such a role and fake a life?
    What kind of woman wants her child to be born in such a nightmare?

    I don’t understand why those women need to partner with a disabled “male” and a mentally ill person? And the irony is: those transmales look like Bin Laden with their beard!

    So, if I were those women, I would take the first flight to Iran and experience real males with Bin Laden beard who also like binary gender role and submissive women like them...
    At least, they could get pregnant!

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  56. "And many of us can penetrate our partners with our little dicks"

    LMAO!!! how sad.

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  57. But, to answer your question directly: most of those dating FTM's I've come across are trendy 'queer' girls, whatever 'queer' means. Could mean certainly bisexual/pansexual as the most common meaning, which they wouldn't mind the partial female/male parts/MENtality, while thinking of themselves as trendy and hip....the ones who say want "Butch/FTM" or 'I fall in love with the person, not the body parts' or some such claptrap.

    Could be the strait girls who are on the lesbian downlow while their man is out of the picture, or want someone LIKE a bio male, but who won't get them pregnant, and might be a bit more sympathetic to them as a female, with a thoroughly male appearance.

    And sadly could be a Lesbian whose partner transitioned and she's having a tough time adjusting, hoping s/he won't go all the way to a bio dick, or can accept them just on hormones, or maybe hormones and a flat chest...somewhere's inbetween...but it really takes a toll on their relationship and her lesbian identity....thusly either she too transitions, and they're at least seen as 'same sex', homosexual, FTM to FTM...

    The scariest combination if said FTM travels between the Dyke community and doing gay boys, which means the FTM could really bring A.I.D.S, Hep C and other STDS very easily into the Dyke community which at the moment is still the lowest risk group.

    So, it all depends on which direction both partners are coming from....

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  58. "What kind of woman like to be objectified like this?
    What kind of poor desesperate woman likes to play such a role and fake a life?"

    In our society sadly, being a lesbian partner of a butch is less valued than being the wife/partner of a (trans)male....So maybe some lesbians who have internalised their own homophobia (and are not so comfortable in her lesbian couple role), prefer to switch to this more socially accepted role? It is a trade-off. Maybe, they prefer to play a fantasy than to have a real shitty life as the other half of a lesbian couple? If gay/lesbian marriage were allowed, none of this will happen.

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  59. Or for the Lesbian partner, she bears it, for awhile...until it's too much for her dealing with this person who has rejected her own Lesbianism and Femaleness, begins to act and smell aggressively male, and/or sexist, volatile or violent, all the things amped up Testosterone does, even in men, she misses her FTM partner's breasts and smooth skin and outward femaleness and deep female nurturance/compassion and she leaves her. If they both become FTM, then they're both sharing that same identity. And they then see themselves as queer/gay 'male'.

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  60. In my experience its nearly always young heterosexual women who date FTMs. This includes several friends of mine who got involved with FTMs and did the whole mommy relationship thing or in more urban trendy areas there's the whole queer scene where you see a lot of the women wrapped up in that bs dating transmen.

    I rarely, if ever, have seen either lesbian or bisexual women date transmen. As a bisexual woman I cannot fathom the appeal at all. They seem to encompass all the disgusting things about men in terms of social traits and none of the appeal of genuine masculinity. I don't claim my experience is universal but I've never experienced a transmale being sensitive to the bullshit that women face every day in this male supremacist culture. I see them perpetuate it on a level far more wicked and openly misogynistic than most heterosexual men even do. Maybe its to prove a point? One thing that ties all the women I've known who have dated FTMs is a severe lack of self esteem.

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  61. apparently no matter what dirt says someone gets up set, im not commenting on this post for personal reasons, i do how ever read her blog, and im pretty sure dirt stood by her words on no insults, and you shoot her down? seriously

    From a Trans identified person Thankyou Dirt for standing by your words

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  62. This whole blog is ridiculous, its basically just to try and bash on trannys. Which is weird.. isnt dirt one? I mean what are butches anyways? Women wearing mens clothing acting masculine basically "living a fake fantasy life" hmm.. thats odd. "TRANNYS CANT HAVE KIDS" WOW! Thats breaking news right there.. Well heres another update NEITHER CAN LESBIAN/DYKE/BUTCH couples either. You "ladies" like to come on here and piss and moan about other peoples lives and what they're doing with them. Why dont you all stop being youtube creeps and invest a little more time in your personal lives, then you wouldnt be reading this garbage in the first place. And Dirt you can read whatever articles on the web or where ever about the effects of T and how it'll change a person, but you havent done it so you truly dont know. You believe everything you read? Dirt made this sad blog to bash because a tranny stole her girl :(. If you all dont like these FTM's then simply dont view their pages, its like when a show comes on that you dont like, change the channel. And hell most butches dont need T theyre already hairy

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  63. To the dolt who said "FTM's will just bring STD's to the lesbian community,lesbians dont ever give eachother STD's" hahahah Im gonna have to say that isnt true. And dirt I am pretty disappointed in the options for answers in this poll, it is in fact very judgmental. You have the power to impact people's lives in a positive way but instead you decide to just be hateful. What makes you people who harass and taunt and ridicule these FTM's any better than racist groups? Youre basically doing the same exact thing. Why invest so much hate into someone? You all hate on these guys so much without ever once really talking to them. For all you guys know you could chat and end up liking one another. But youre so blind sided by T and people using it. Honestly how does that really effect you at all? It doesnt, but you like to make it seem like it changes something in your life when it really has nothing to do with you at all. If you truly love someone then you love them it shouldnt matter what they lack because we all lack something. And Im sure that will get a remark by one of you oh so witty women. I hope everyone grows up and gets over differences, because no one person is the exact same.

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  64. "Women wearing mens clothing acting masculine basically "living a fake fantasy life" hmm.. thats odd."

    Look, since there's nothing male in anything on the so-called "butch spectrum" or something, it's not really a fantasy life at all, not anymore than "women wearing women's clothing acting feminine basically "living a fake fantasy life" .

    Christ, do you need to "take T" to wear a tuxedo? Sheesh!
    I don't think Dirt's hobby is to prey upon little innocent Youtube FTMs either. First because I do believe it only takes her few minutes a week seeing how many of them there are, and then because those FTMs, in posting their videos and pictures to the web, have already lost any right to privacy. Look, it's how the internet works, if you don't want your image to appear in strange places just don't post it at all.

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  65. Chris - What the FtM's "lack" is the one thing which would make them male. That's why it's a disorder. It's not possible for women to "transition" to men (have male sex organs, including a dick.) That's the bottom line, and no facial hair, amputating your tits, etc. will change that.

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  66. Anon@5:55am

    It is much more than a dangling penis and testes that is missing from female transitioners or there wouldnt be video after video and website after website and forum topic after forum topic on "how to ACT like a man".

    Were these women truly "males trapped in female bodies", long before they medical began to change their body, they would intimately KNOW what and how to be a man. Their female body wouldnt be something barring them from maleness(as they act now), they would have already from the start been male.

    They would have regardless of parents or society, lived according to their inner male natures therefore there would be little if anything to learn.

    dirt

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  67. @Chris "You all hate on these guys so much without ever once really talking to them. "

    I have been involved with at least 3 transmales and was engaged with one of them so I think as a bisexual woman, I can be able to:

    * draw common traits of FTM. They are all clichés of males and seem to have learnt masculinity by watching mafia movies... My advice: talk with your father or brother or male cousin before considering any transition. You will save time, pain and money. Masculinity is not what you think.

    * sexually, it was an interesting experience I am glad I have removed from my check-list. The pleasure is closer to the one I can have with a woman with a strap-on (technically), less the excitement of playing/kissing boobs. Some of my FTM ex-partner wanted me to sodomise them with a strap-on or to double fuck them vaginally and anally or to fist fuck them. But it has nothing to do with the pleasure I have (much higher) when I am fucked by a bio-male or make love with a woman which is more exciting with the boobs play.
    Note that due to their facial bones structure (T effect), transmales giving head is less satisfactory than lesbians...My transmale fiancé had a piercing to spice the cuni and was into BDSM that is way I stayed longer with him...The others were too boring sexually.

    *Socially, I was not confident with one of the 3 transmales I dated because he had female hips and I was feeling sometimes I was dating a woman with hirsutism...Not appealing when I looked his back and the acne oh my...And on the beach, he was always with his T-Shirt. Very embarrassing as I am a naturist and it led us to go on “textile”” beaches.

    *Overall, they were more narcissistic and laddish compared to biomales same age. I tend to agree when people write you date a boy in full teenage hood blossom. There are also super stuck in trans rights policy and very centred on those matters so it is a very closed universe revolving around their transition. You date 3 of them, you have dated all of them.

    I really prefer now the mature relationships I have with grown-up males or females. They are adult, they had the time to build confidence and self-esteem. It is really a relief to talk about other stuff than the usual trans tuff with a glass of Pinot noir…

    All said, I am glad to have made these experiments at this point of my life and I am happy such a blog exists to educate lesbians, biomales, FTM about all the issues they may face in their life. It is a great job. Will come back in the future to answer questions/comments.

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  68. Maybe I will start a controversy but I really need to raise the point as we are more and more to ask ourselves the question.

    Apart from the transition,I am always surprised when I check the age versus the pictures or videos on YouTube.
    And so I wonder why a 20 years old woman wants to look like a 12 years old boy and have the "dick" of a toddler?
    In addition, I wonder why a woman in her 20's will date someone who looks like her very super young little cousin or brother and has sex with him?

    The only answer is: the female partners of young FTM are closeted females pedophiles....It is the most hidden secret of all this transition process...

    You must have pedophiles instincts to have pleasure with someone who has a 4years old boy "dick" and the look of a very young boy and to enjoy seing him transitioning from boy to a young teenager masculinised body.

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  69. Anon@4:59am

    I wouldn't go that far, it has more to do with the control these female partners of ftMs obtain that's the big appeal for these women. Which is very often why you see the mommy/boy dynamic played out with many of these couples. It isn't the sexual appeal, its the control appeal.

    Female transitioners are easy to control because like their female partner they were/are born/groomed females. The women seeking ftM partners can have a power dynamic that they couldnt have with men, whether through fear or belief.

    Regarding female transitioners clit size, nearly all have a similar size to the average clit. Those that gain some clitoris growth wont be larger than a male infant's penis, you're being much to generous specifying a 4 year old boy. I suspect a good number of ftMs had a very small clitoral to start with since most claim some kind of growth.

    Check out places like xtube or other ftM sex sites and compare them to your average female clitoris, you wont notice much if any difference.

    dirt

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  70. @Dirt, trans who had metoidioplasty have the "dick" of a boy and so it makes sense to raise the question of pedophiles instincts for their female partners.
    Normally, an audlt straight female is attracted by a male body ie facial and body hair, thick skin, low voice, and an adult male dick.
    Those women who are attracted to infant size dick have an issue with anormal penis and are pedophiles...
    And the control/mum game is part of it...
    I hope you will publish my comment because it is really make sense...

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  71. @Anon 25 Jan 4:41 and what about the bio males with small penises (such as men with 3 inches) would you say its paedophilic (not sure of spellin) for women to find that attractive.

    Not all men have large penises so your comment is unfair.

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  72. A Straight Lady with OpinionsFebruary 16, 2011 at 2:08 AM

    I am completely and entirely straight. I am in love with a transman. You're just going to have to get over it and accept that it is possible. Stop generalizing. Everyone is not the same. He is a person. I am a person. You are a person. He is different from any other man and any other transman. I am a straight woman, but that's not all there is to me. He is a drummer, a geek, and a great leader. I am a writer, an ally, and a saxophone player. You can't tell me why I do what I do, believe what I believe, and love who I love. You don't know me. You can't tell me he's wrong. You can't tell me that he can't be himself. You can't tell me that there is anything wrong with either of us. You don't know us. Stop making so many grand generalizations without knowing who you're talking about.

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