Change Your World-NOT your Body

Thursday, January 13, 2011

An email from a Reader

I'll let her speak for herself:


Thank you for your words and great luck on your journey to loving the beautiful woman you are, never forget she is worth all the difficulties in doing so.

dirt
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11 comments:

  1. Is this e-mail you received from the me of an alternate universe?

    Joking aside, I agree 100%. If the sender of this e-mail wants to talk with me, here I am. You can e-mail me at mongenis@gmail.com. I am glad you realized what your problem was and that you stopped groupthinking, whoever you are. Now onto shedding the light to others...

    As a side note, Dirt, what do you think of a straight woman using the term "butch"? I wouldn't apply anyways, as I am not "butch" enough (I'm no lumberjack, I'm a nerd), but is Butch lesbian only? What analoguous term (attitude-wise, not necessarily sexuality-wise) could be used for women who act "butch" but are not lesbians? I know they exist somewhere.

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  2. Blue,

    She uses "butch" as a descriptive, which has nothing to do with sexuality.

    dirt

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  3. Maybe we're just different around these here parts *drawls* but most women where I live would be considered "butch" by people from other areas. Yep, all straight...but very 'normal' to be who they are - strong, hard working, intelligent women that don't give a fuck about gender stereotypes. Growing up on farms, not having a life where people force gender roles onto you makes all these "who am I/how do I label me?" questions not be a question, for the most part.
    I do notice that once ya get off the farm, THEN it can become an issue. Mmmm..yeah.

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  4. It's great that the author of this email was able to dodge the transition bullet, but infuriating and heartbreaking that women are still made to feel this way in 2011.

    Are we taking giant steps backwards, or what?

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  5. Anon@1:16pm

    Transition is the ultimate giant step backward.

    dirt

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  6. Thanks for posting that letter, Dirt, and thank you to the letter writer for helping shed more light on this subject!!!

    Some of the butchest women I've met were not lesbians. I think it's impressive as hell for a butch straight woman to spit in the eye of the patriarchy and demand it accept her on her terms. And of course is impressive as hell for any woman to do that.

    It can be excruciatingly painful to be "other" in a culture that tries so damn hard to get you to conform to its rigid gender structure. It's only by refusing to do so that any and all of us can be free of it to live authentic lives.

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  7. "Transition is the ultimate giant step backward."
    Excellent Dirt: il could even be the perfect tittle for a post on mid or long term effect of T and transition in general...

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  8. So very happy to see more "masculine" women who are not lesbians write. I am one and it's hard as hell, I live in a big city and it's expected of you to be dolled up to the max at all times, if you're straight. I hate the modern "feminine" look with make-up, skirts etc. Absolutely hate make-up! I think I'd be happier living on a farm.

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  9. I wonder how many more straight women there are out there who have considered transition because of the "only lesbians are butch" myth. I'm guessing a lot. And also a lot who see right through the trans trend, but whose daily lives are made hell due to homophobic harassment on the one hand, and being treated like pathetic closet cases on the other. (And some lesbians are guilty of this last, too -- smirking and rolling their eyes when their "masculine" straight friend mentions a guy she's interested in.)

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  10. @Sebbie: 'Round here when you see a butch woman, we say "Well, is she gay or is she a farmer's wife?" Not unusual at all for women to wear heavy work boots, no makeup, go hunting, shooting, drive pickups, etc.

    @Anonymous 11:28: I mentioned to a gay female that one of the women I'd hung around with at a networking group was super butch but totally straight and in love with her husband and they were like "Yeah right, she just hasn't accepted it yet" or something like that. Some of us do it to them the same way straight people look at Femmes & lipsticks and say "Oh come on, you just haven't had the right dick yet" or "Surely you're straight; you have no mullet." Well, if we say there's more than one way to be a woman, it applies to straight women too...

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  11. This is beautiful, I'm glad she learned to love and accept herself.

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