A Few Smart Words from Femme Avenger

A rad comment from FA that I felt deserved its own post:

dirt

Dirt responds...again

This post in in response to iconoclass's comment on this post found here.

The use for the capital B small b is two-fold, it is reclaiming and re-establishing and putting a face on Butch in its original: a butch lesbian whose primary attractions are with Femme and to differentiate from Butch as woman and butch as what kind of woman similarly to male/masculinity-female/femininity-Butch/butch, I DO butch, but I AM Butch. 

 

 I choose not to write about "butch on butch" because it isn’t my experience therefore it has little to nothing to do with my Femme/Butch writings here which clearly the "too Butch to fuck" post was written. While there surely are butch lesbians who date other butch lesbians, being butch in nature, it isn’t for me to say/write about, nor do I. Their core experiences clearly aren’t the experiences of the Butch experiences I write about (which other Butches identify with and have responded to both here and through email) as MA indicated herself with "I've never been too butch to fuck". I received many an email from upset angry Femmes regarding that comment who were outraged as they  patiently with love and compassion deal with that Butch shame quite intimately every day of their lives whether partnered with Butches, in Butch friendships or seeking a Butch partner. For one to claim “Butch” identity to then be so flippant about that deep core shame that informs all sorts of aspects of Butch life, THAT more than capital B, small b or strapping the largest cock in America gives me pause as to the authenticity of that (Butch/butch)’s claim. Because regardless of how far a Butch has come and no matter how wonderful and understanding their partner, there always remains residual shame just underneath the surface that in certain moments steps from their shadows once again.   

 

 Personally I do not care who fucks whom, and only hope lesbians (whatever the stripe) are healthy and safe in their sexual endeavors, but I DO care about putting a real life face on Butch/Femme because our community is a sordid hetero/male-centric mess that is currently being destroyed from the inside out through the utilization of that “too Butch to fuck” Butch shame, because the current face of Butch in our community is a bearded one. MA’s only interest in that mutilated bearded Butch is she doesn’t want “her/him/it” in her “womon only” spaces, NOT the larger picture of saving future Butch girls/women from that bearded fate! I will fight along side MA to keep transitioned men and women out of women’s only space yes, but I am also fighting for the future of Butch (Femme), a future that IS being threatened by queerists and now pathologized in the future version of the DSM which has the potential to eradicate ALL Butch girls/women of all persuasions! 

 

The Femme/Butch community is (used to be/should be) just that, a community for Femmes and Butches, Butches who love/date Femmes and visa versa. It isn’t hierarchical for the Butch women in that community with their Butch and Butch/Femme experiences to write about, discuss, joke, fight for, and relate to members of that community to the exclusion of other communities. It is participating in the shared experiences of the members of that group/community. Certainly there are all sorts of other things Femmes and Butches share in common with other member of other lesbian groups/communities but none of those are going to have the feeling of “home” that Femme/Butch does, just as I wouldn’t expect Femme/Butch to feel at “home” to butch on butch dykes. Because my square peg doesn’t fit into the butch on butch round hole in no way causes me stress or feelings of “less than” butch, I simply do not fit nor belong and that is okay. 

 

The only “hierarchical” shit that took place here was with me a Butch lesbian presenting and keeping with the historical accuracy of Butch through its relationship with Femme. MA and perhaps you as well took offense because she defines her butchness a certain way and I another. And through my keeping with the traditional Butch definition (butch lesbians who partner with Femmes) MA felt slighted because she doesn’t partner with Femmes, and in her mind she felt according to traditional Butch definition then that she wasn’t Butch, even though again my posts do not address “butch on butch” lesbians/issues. The fact is my post had nothing to do with her as a “butch on butch” lesbian therefore there was no reason for her comments, especially the anti Femme sexist garbage that sprang from her both here and her blog.

Words do have meaning, just as many gays and lesbians have abandoned using the term "queer" due to it having been high jacked, used and abused by anyone feeling compelled these days to call themselves “queer” from “trans to S&Mers, so to has Butch identity been colonized to the point of meaninglessness! Butch DOES mean something; it has meaning because my body and spirit infuse Butch with that meaning fortifying us both! And Butch historical tradition infuses me with strength and empathy but mostly pride! A tradition while filled with shame; parental shame, shame endured from straight society, shame endured from men trying to rape us straight, shame endured from gay men, shame endured from lesbians, shame endured from feminist both radical and mainstream alike, shame endured from separatist, shame felt through the ownership of our own womanly bodies created by ALL of the aforementioned shame, but a shame I have weathered and over come! Patti Smith wrote “the storm that rends harm/also make fertile” and nothing will stop me from planting the seeds for a fertile Butch future rich with Butch women and a future better because we are in it!  dirt

More Butch Erasure/Destruction in the name of "queer community building"

Received this in a message on my facebook a few days ago, from some group I joined last year some time CLAIMING to be "butch-femme". I say claiming because clearly were this a true blue Femme/Butch group this woman's message wouldnt have been spammed to all its members with no fucking regard. It would have been stop dead in its fucking negative illegitimate Butch destructive tracks and the sender would have been told in no uncertain terms where to put her "queer" idiot notions of "butch"!

One could say "but dirt she does say "butch identified", yes, EXACTLY and therein lies the fucking problem! Its the fucking equivalent of someone starting a "black identified" group and looking for "black identified" experience and validating the experiences of the copious amounts of disaffected white male youths who would join with their baggie jeans wrapped 'round their lower hips, their doo-rags on their heads and sporting some FUBU's on their feet with their MP3 players chock full of gangsta-rap! The fact IS like a "black experience" or any minority experience there IS a Butch experience because there ARE Butch women! Anyone can "identify" as Butch, and have and do and are all damn the time. Butch isnt something one "identifies" as it is something some of us actually ARE! And when the "fluid queer" PC infested foster ideas that Butch is something anyone can do by merely calling themselves "butch", Butch gets diluted into a "queer" pool of nothingness, unrecognizable nearly to all save the Femmes who SEE and desire us!

This woman is wanting to create some resource book for "butches" utilizing experiences by anyone from your jeans and tshirt wearing female gay or straight to ftMISOGYNIST! Think of the alien and in some cases harmful messages that would be collected there, then think of the baby Butch first coming out trying to find herself through finding other women like her and reading stories of women shamefully binding their tits, women beg borrowing or stealing to lay their hands on some "t" not even because they want to be "men" because they cannot stand the shame that reminds them once a month that they are women, think of women using male pronouns to describe themselves, think of "queer femmes" discussing how they desire "masculinity" and applying the male "masculinity" term to those THEY deem "butch" etc etc.

Then to top it off the woman closes her request by mentioning "s. bear bergman" and her HORRIBLE excuse for a book about "butches"! Firstly this s bear woman is an ftMISOGYNYST but before that she was your run of the mill tweener dyke (feel free to google past pics if you doubt me) usurping the Butch label and when she couldn't manage to squeeze herself into Butch, like so many tweener dykes before and after her, she trannified in search of Butch only to find masculinity instead, still NOT Butch!

If you are a Butch or Femme and believe and live the authenticity of Femme/Butch, if you are a member of the facebook group that spammed this message let the spammer know there are REAL Butch women with REAL Butch lives with REAL Femmes who love and adore us, be silent no more! You have a voice, use that voice and have a fucking say!

I am, with this post, as well as subtracting myself from a group that clearly doesnt have my best Butch woman interest and the interest of Butch women period in mind!

dirt

Happy Easter one and All!