Change Your World-NOT your Body

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Open Day is now Closed Day


A heads up to readers who may not have read my last comment on yesterday's Open day. Due to the trollish elements that immaturely felt the need to abandon or out right ignore reasonable discussion and piss all over Open Day, I will no longer have a day that does not have moderated comments. I do not blame transmen for this, nor the trans trender kids who posted idiotic comments, I can deal with a differing opinion, I can even deal with empty comments by trans youth. But I will not tolerate comments made but privileged bio-males aimed strictly at creating drama or comments that outright lie in order to make a point. For instance, the "ftmdad" I have ascertained is actually an Mtf who from what I've been able to find out, has no children. Clearly this man was there for drama mongering only, but he was just one of many bio-males drama-mongering.


If transmen have an issue with the closing of Open Day, I suggest you confront the bio-men in your community, you have them to thank.

If their are mothers, lesbians of all flavours, feminist, queer females, trans youth or transmen who would like to have Fridays as a closed, moderated discussion day, let me know. If enough folks show an interest on this post then Fridays will continue as a place of discussion and occasional controlled ventings. And just to clarify, while comments will be moderated, so long as they are in the spirit of discussion whether I agree or not, they will be released.

dirt

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38 comments:

  1. Queer/Femme/Feminist Cisgendered WomanNovember 6, 2010 at 7:34 PM

    This is a comment I'm sure no one will ever see but you. And I'm okay with that.

    I recently heard that you hacked into the 'queerunion' channel on youtube and left a video blog that resembles this blog. I find this ironic seeing that you do not even post comments that express an opinion against your own on this blog yet you think it is acceptable to go onto that private space and leave video comments. Of course you can view the videos they produce as much as you would like because that is public space. Regardless of the ethics behind it legally you can even post them on your blog. But you crossed the line from public to private.

    I could say a lot of things to you. But I think this example speaks for enough.

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  2. It's sad that opposing sides aren't able to have an adult dialogue - because as I stated before, I think if you look beyond the anger and discord, it would become apparent that we want much of the same thing - for the Butch community and Trans community to be clearly differentiated from one another. Most authentic Transmen do not want to be considered Butch, and I don't believe any strong, proud Butch would ever want to be told she must be Trans because she has somehow become "too" Butch...
    Even thought I don't agree with the way you deliver your message a lot of the time Dirt, I do support your right to your opinions and hate that anyone would condone rape and/or violence. That's the last thing this world needs more of.

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  3. Best check your facts miss "queer femme", sound more to me like a male tactic taken straight from lynn conway or the like.

    I have a space here which I maintain quite well thank you very much.

    dirt

    PS if what you say is true, the IP/ISP of the hacker can be easily traced and the real identity of the hacker found out and prosecuted if that's desired. Its not rocket science yanno.

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  4. HS,

    This goes FAR beyond transmen and queer "femmes" co-opting Butch/Femme spaces and identities. Lives are at stake, womens lives. Hyper femininity is turning 3 y/o's into prostitute look a likes, while feminism remains silent. I'm only surprised with the narrowing of the female role, more girls arent seeking transition.

    But I do hear what you are saying.

    dirt

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  5. I would definitely like to see moderated open days continue on this blog. As I've said, you are giving me a lot to think about and I would really appreciate an open forum to bring questions, ideas, concerns, etc. so as not to derail other posts with those things. I would certainly participate in such conversations.

    Going moderated seems necessary, if unfortunate, given how the last couple have turned out. It seems a bit like a case of "this is why we can't have nice things." People were abusing the anonymity to lie, harass, and be abusive.

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  6. Dirt said :
    "This goes FAR beyond transmen and queer "femmes" co-opting Butch/Femme spaces and identities. Lives are at stake, womens lives. Hyper femininity is turning 3 y/o's into prostitute look a likes, while feminism remains silent. I'm only surprised with the narrowing of the female role, more girls arent seeking transition."

    Agreed. One of the things I loved most about my wife when we met was the fact that she was actively raising feminist daughters. Our girls are now 20 and 14, and both very solid feminist young women. I am so proud of our oldest, who is a Women's Studies/Gender Studies double major. She works at a women's shelter, and is such a solid, strong woman. Our youngest is also following in her sister's footsteps. As far as we know, they are both heterosexual, but both march in equality rallies, and both attended a silent rally two weeks ago with Mom. My youngest is learning to do a little minor maintenance on my Harley. I also recently started teaching our 15yo son to do laundry. I refuse to raise a macho son, or a weak daughter. There are some of us transsexual men out there committed to the empowerment of women and equality for all of society. I am ashamed of those in my community who work so hard at the opposite.

    I totally GET what you're saying...

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  7. Does this mean HS that you are for a moderated discussion day?

    dirt

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  8. I don’t see much value in giving male fetishists carte blanche to piss their “woman-suit” fantasies all over a discussion among women. The ones where they brag about how “successful” they are as women because men want to have sex with them (typical men, it never occurred to them that some men would fuck a lamppost if it looked vaguely female) and where they “educate” women about feminism and how it’s all about the menz. The one in the last thread who ‘splained how he was a better woman than real women (as defined by having more potential sexual partners) because he “valued” his woman-suit more than real women value their sex appeal- now that one was actually funny. Funny for it’s pathetic cluelessness.

    Beyond their deep-rooted sexism and male-supremacy these men will lie, troll, stalk, harass, hack, even attack the innocent children of trans critics by any means necessary. They have no life beyond fighting those they feel prevent them from being fully female. Of course no amount of humoring their female “identity” will ever enable them to know what it’s like to actually be female (much less experience living from womb to grave under patriarchy) and there is no cure for their autogynophilic dissonance. Even hormones and castration and plastic surgery don’t help. That’s not phobia, just reality.

    They really don’t add anything to a discussion about the impact of transsexuality on those born female- of course as always there may be exceptions to the rule!
    Although it will slow the pace of the discussion thread these are the reasons I agree with the new moderation policy. Sexist male-supremacy does not belong on your blog. Just my opinion.
    Thanks for all your hard work Dirt, and for giving us space to have these discussions. Thank you for fighting so hard for the future of girls growing up today and in generations to come.

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  9. Yes, Dirt, I would be open to a moderated discussion. I agree that there's really no way around screening the comments because some of what I've read here, besides being non-constructive, are just plain horrid.

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  10. I'm also for moderated open days. I've been pretty disappointed that the discussions got so derailed these last couple of times. These days are clearly meant to be constructive, and people throwing around hate speech isn't going to get anybody anywhere.

    I don't agree with much of what Dirt says about transgender people, but I can at least state what I want in a mature way when I post. It would be nice if those of us who are debating in this thread could be polite. It's called common courtesy, folks.

    I hope you can continue these discussions. Thanks for still leaving the opportunity open, Dirt.

    HS, I hope to become as good, loving, and capable a father as you seem to be.

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  11. "Most authentic Transmen do not want to be considered Butch,"

    If transmen still goes to vent on this blog because they think it is a sort of "butch managed anti-FTM" blog, they are completely wrong and they haven't read the articles in this blog. So why not browsing the menu in the right column and pick-up a topic Dirt has made an article about and read it first ?

    I do agree last open comment day was a mess but in some of the comments, there were some useful information/discovery like the name of this serial rapist the whole FTM community seems to protect.

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  12. Thank you very much for putting in all the effort you do about this topic. I think the on-going discussion is really important, in whichever form.

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  13. @Dirt, (don't know where to post this)

    this T changes video is well done http://www.youtube.com/user/GrettirAsmundarson

    And the person who did it writes at the end "Puberty".
    T is really giving a second teenagehood to those young adults.
    Without T and transition, they may have otherwise to find a way to fit in this society as young adult woman.
    Instead they prefer to go for a new teenagehood of 4-5 years to fit in the society as males. It really looks like they were frightened to have a "female role" in the society and so they escape via transition.

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  14. I'd be very much in favor of such a day, your blog has turned into something more than you first expected (well, I suppose): a place where transsexuality can be discussed critically without yells of "transphobia" being shouted and being banned. It's probably the only place on the net, which is, in its totality, a TS heaven, and that's why it's so important for some sort of constructive criticism/discussion to stay.

    On another note, what did Lynn Conway do to see her always mentioned in the "evil TS" category? I honestly don't know.

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  15. Dirt,
    I couldn't agree more with your comment regarding hyperfemininity. Everyone would benefit if children of both sexes were raised with equal status, freedom, opportunity, and expectations. Boys and girls would be able to be themselves - whoever that happens to be. Nobody would feel the need to be a member of the other sex just to express their personality. And trans kids wouldn't chafe against artificial gender restrictions in addition to our struggles with our bodies and identities.

    I was fortunate enough to be raised in a home where my parents made absolutely sure I knew I could do or be anything, where my dad fought for (and won) a spot on the baseball team for me (as a girl), where my mom was a math professor who lived in men's jeans and remodeled our house singlehandedly and took apart her car's engine in the driveway, where my grandmother was in the Navy in WWII and my whole family supported me when I joined too.

    None of that took away my feeling of being male, but it chafed a little less because I knew that it was acceptable to others that my personality could inhabit this body. I think every kid should know that it's perfectly fine for their personality, whatever it is, to inhabit the body they were born with.

    On the Open Day: I'm sad to see it go :( but some of the vitriol in some of the comments, in both directions, was obscene.

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  16. How you found out that "ftm dad" is a liar? This guy is really an idiot.

    I'm also for a moderated discussion day.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Alexander (same one again)November 7, 2010 at 7:25 AM

    What I'd like to see is more topic'ed comment threads. I think moderation is necessary, from looking at the last one, but maybe rather than moderated open day, discussion on specific topics?

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  18. Why does your blog say "Butch Pride" at the top when it's only about your hate toward trans people? I don't mean it as an insulting question... I just wouldn't know anything about being butch or a lesbian from reading your blog.

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  19. "at the top when it's only about your hate toward trans people?"

    Oh yeahhh this blog is full of hate! Unbelivable i guess you didn't read the blog. You are just an ignorant hypocrite.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thank you Elzi,

    I was about to say the same thing, clearly they havent read the gist of this blog.

    dirt

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  21. FTM people are unable to read...They write and claim "hate" just because some of them say so on Youtube but they don't read...

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  22. @Evan. No matter how free of arbitrary gender roles a person's home environment is, the world outside their doorstep enforces them pretty strictly. A kid can have the most enlightened family in the world, but still be affected -- profoundly -- by the environment at school, where they spend almost half their waking life. I'm not saying this to try and invalidate your own sense of yourself; just observing that at this point in history, no one has been able to grow up free of *significant* pressure to conform to gender roles. I include people who say their school was "really, really progressive" in this. It's often the most self-consciously progressive institutions that have the biggest blind spots.

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  23. I am in support of a moderated open comment day

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  24. Bluetraveler,

    Conway was the primary Mtf who organized the hate campaign against M. Bailey who wrote The Man who would be Queen. The campaign used bullying tactics, out right lies, threats that even included threatening his young children and claiming Bailey was molesting his children. Very sick shit to say the least and Bailey did end up losing his job over it. So threats to Bailey, his family, and his livelihood, nothing is off limits when it comes to "proving" trans "womanhood"/"manhood". But like you see here, all it proves is the absolute insecurity about the chosen "identity".

    dirt

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  25. Dirt, you are just awesome. Thank you for everything! But I didn't even bother reading that last thread, because totally unmoderated comments from trans apologists on a blog such as this one will always devolve into plain ole misogyny and outright lies -- not worth reading by anyone seeking genuine conversation.

    I vote you continue the "open thread" but unfortunately I suspect moderation is still required.

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  26. @Anon at 11:56am

    Exactly! I find it interesting that there is this continued belief that individuals are raised in a vacuum!

    I had an awesome dad who taught me to shoot a gun and ride a motorcycle by the time I started school. I had an (immediate/extended) family in general that never made a fuss about my not conforming to the gender expectations of females.

    My closest friends were and largely remain all male. I played football from grade school up through high school, had a golden arm. Males never treated me like anything but one of them, one who just happen to be female.

    None the less that didnt change those early feelings of thinking, if I'm like this then I should be a boy. Feelings of praying to wake up a boy. The constant feeling of being different no matter how accepted I was among boy peers.

    Then toss the horrors of puberty into the mix and you just want to die, it was the ultimate betrayal! Add not having any close female relationships, believing all females have no problems with their breast or their periods, thinking something is wrong with me!

    Thinking that if I were truly a female than periods wouldnt feel so uncomfortable or troubling. Things that until I was an adult and began having close friendships and relationships with women did I realize in some respects that as averagely feminine as they are, they too had confusions and hates about how their bodies changed and what their bodies went through.

    What went on all around played a part in what informed my feelings about what I "should" be, there was no escaping school, tv, newspapers, billboards, friends and every single thing that could possibly fill my young eyes, ALL of it informed my "boy" feelings.

    dirt

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  27. I have "boy feelings" since I was a child. I've always hated girl clothes and felt more comfortable around boys. I was also very sad because my parent didn't let me do boyish things. For example as a child I wanted a slot car track but my parents bought me Barbie dolls. (Ok I played with it too ;-) ). But I was jealous and I felt like an alien around girls. Thank god neither me nor my parents where aware of trans at this time. We all know that even children aren't safe from brain washers and doctors. And I bet if someone had said "You like boyish things because you ARE a boy." I would have belived that person because at this time it was the only logical explanation for my feelings.

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  28. Dirt,

    When you talk about your own experiences, your questioning, and becoming a proud woman in the end, I think that's far more powerful than when you talk about the dangers of testosterone.

    A lot of people think they have no choice but to transition, and the sooner the better, or to die. It's no wonder they ignore the risks. If they see another possibility, they might stop and reconsider things.

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  29. @Elzi
    "You like boyish things because you ARE a boy." I would have believed that person because at this time it was the only logical explanation for my feelings.

    This is why I believed it. I saw an FTM on TV and thought, "wow that could be me, you can't even tell that's a girl" i was so excited. It seems like THE answer. It was then followed by a lot of "if i was actually a girl, then i would feel like this" or "i wouldn't want to look like this" etc. It took years (and some luck ;)) to break me out of it. The gender counselors wouldn't take my health insurance. That is the only reason why i didn't get on T then.

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  30. I think a moderated open day is a good idea.

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  31. Anon 3:06

    You quoted me as saying:
    "Most authentic Transmen do not want to be considered Butch,"

    Then you said:

    "If transmen still goes to vent on this blog because they think it is a sort of "butch managed anti-FTM" blog, they are completely wrong and they haven't read the articles in this blog. So why not browsing the menu in the right column and pick-up a topic Dirt has made an article about and read it first ?"

    I haven't exactly "vented" on Dirt's blog, I have attempted to participate in a serious discussion and try to show that there is a trend going on, yes... but there are true transsexuals and our goals are much like yours. When did intelligent discussion get swept under a rug as "venting"? I have read a lot of what Dirt has posted, and agree with some of it. I haven't gone off on Dirt like some of the idiots who have posted here so before you quote me and try to call me out... maybe read MY comments first.

    You also stated:
    "I do agree last open comment day was a mess but in some of the comments, there were some useful information/discovery like the name of this serial rapist the whole FTM community seems to protect."

    Please refrain from ASSUMING that the WHOLE FTM community supports Kael T. Block. That is a HUGE blanket statement that is completely FALSE. I am FTM and I detest what this person did, and wouldn't piss on him were he on fire. I think the women he assaulted deserve to see him punished harshly for what he did. The FTMs that do support him are just as guilty IMHO and I hope people everywhere take note of those in his corner so that they know these people cannot be trusted.

    As I said previously, we might be able to learn from one another and get somewhere if we can all agree to participate in a dialogue as adults and stop presenting assumptions as fact, and stop blanketing the entire Trans community with hate because of what a portion of it does.

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  32. "Please refrain from ASSUMING that the WHOLE FTM community supports Kael T. Block."

    Listen I want to believe you. I don't know what is the size of the FTM community around the world but having 5333 fans on FB (the size of a small town) supporting XXboys/Kael T Block the rapist is a huge number.
    I just can assume that 5333 FTM thinks being a serial rapist is cool/hype...
    Kael T Block is still free...

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  33. What can we think of a community who support a rapist and target an educational blog ?
    This blog has raped no one. Kael T Block raped many women...

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  34. @anon who said: "What can we think of a community who support a rapist and target an educational blog ?
    This blog has raped no one. Kael T Block raped many women..."

    What indeed! Where are the FB pages and groups of angry, outraged, transmen and trans supporters protesting the removal of Kael T Blocks FB page?

    Yet there have been at least a half dozen that I know of FB pages created to protest my blog and have it removed/closed down.

    What can we presume when 5000+ transmen and trans apologist support a serial rapist and dozens and dozens of other transmen and trans apologist have our right said I need to be raped. What conclusion can we draw from that?

    Is RAPE the ultimate MAN experience and MAN threat?

    dirt

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  35. @Dirt, your last comment is worth a whole post on this blog : maybe time to another open letter to the trans community ;)

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  36. Anon 10:30

    Trust me - the community is larger than 5,333 individuals. And speaking of those 5,333 people on that list - are you sure they are ALL FTM? Regardless of the numbers... to say ALL FTMs support him, would be all encompassing. I am FTM, I do not support him... so if even one does not - ALL do not.

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  37. And to reiterate, I do not think Kael T. Block should be free, I think he needs to be locked up and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. I do not think what certain members of my community have wished upon Dirt is right or justified, and I would not support the removal of this blog.
    I am FTM. Just want to make sure we're crystal clear on that.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I like open comment day. I felt like I was thrown to the wolves without your moderation-and I'm ftm. Can you just moderate out the disrespect? I'd like to have a productive discussion, as many of my friends are lesbians.

    ReplyDelete

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