Change Your World-NOT your Body

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Because I'm in a Mood Today


A REAL Open Day. Leaving town. So no moderation, no deleted comments.



Say what you will.

dirt
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148 comments:

  1. I'm waiting for a big shitstorm. *graps popcorn*

    Dirt I think open comments day without moderation is nothing but a fest for spammers and transtrolls.

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  2. Dirt only shows FTM horror stories regarding surgeries and hormones. I understand why she does it, but not all surgeries are awful and not all trans men look older than they are and get cancer.

    FTM top surgery:
    http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lb0risH8X41qas0uco1_400.jpg

    Max Valerio is 53 and has been on T for 20 years. If anything, he looks younger than his age.
    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs267.snc4/39705_448518674084_695709084_6208459_8259549_n.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Bluetraveler said...
    Notebook, social transition is what I was arguing for if transsexuality is proven valid. I think that if there really can be a male brain in a female body or vice-versa then they can stay the way they were born without dangerous hormones and surgeries. That would be a pretty unique experience."


    That pretty much describes my lifestyle. I have lived as male for the last 5 years (full-time). Out at work, my co-workers call me he.


    I feel no need to defend my gender identity to anyone who refuses to respect me. I respect and tolerate those who cannot accept the fact that I feel that I have a male brain. I don't feel discontent, or unhappy in the least. My partner understands the fact that I am a "Man inside a womans body" and we don't feel the need to change me so that I can 'fit in' with biological men. I do not need hormones, I am a transman, and I am just.. very happy living life!


    I feel, as long as I am not hurting anyone physically or mentally, and I am progressing through life in a productive, healthy way, it should not matter what pronoun I feel describes me best. I am all for masculine women, I am all for feminine women. I am for feminine men, masculine men, and all in between. Just as long as people can show me common decency,


    Though I would never jump down someones throat in order to get them to call me a 'he'. Just as long as they know and respect the fact that I am a man in a womans body, and at least try to acknowledge that, I am pleased.


    It might seem a pointless fight, but it's how I've always remembered feeling. A man inside a womans body. And coming out was the best decision of my life.


    I feel like someone.. God, spirit, or whatever you'd like to call it.. wanted me to be in this situation. I would never know the level of tolerance and understanding I have now if I hadn't been placed on such a difficult path. If I hadn't been able to feel what it was to overcome such a hurtle, I may never have learned what it would be to be in someone else's shoes. I am thankful everyday for that lesson.

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  4. More great top surgeries linked below. what it boils down to is the fact that you need to do your research with any surgery you get, and yes there are always risks that it won't turn out how you want. that being said i have yet to see dr. garramone do a chest that isn't amazing looking

    http://www.drgarramone.com/procedures-transgender2.html

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  5. this guys scars are barely visible, not all surgeries turn out badly.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaXyNsw3gIc

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  6. Max Valerio Top surgery is awful. He appears in Monika TReut movies and you can clearly see his surgeon is a butcher.

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  7. Is is Dirt here ?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tCZtY_j2EM

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  8. @Notebook
    Have you looked at the youtube channel "closettransgeder"?

    I feel like you and I maybe similar. If people said woman and they just meant "you have this body" and nothing else then I'm fine with it. But they do mean something else too and i'm not comfortable with anything else but "you have this body".

    When I am called "he" I am treated the way I want to be treated and seen the way i want to be seen i guess. But they also mean you have the male body and I don't have that and so they may feel deceived.

    I wish being seen as she was no different from being seen as he. But I just don't think that is possible for anybody in society to do. If i go by feeling alone i prefer "he" but i do not know if that comes from society's differences in how it treats men and women or if i just can't relate to "she" because of how my brain is.

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  9. I suppose one thing I've been thinking over my self is why people care so much about the results?

    I dunno, if you look at the statistics, of the most recent study done, less than 1% of the people spoken to were unhappy with their surgeries. Which means, overwhelmingly, that the majority of people who go through transitioning are happy. Why is that a bad thing?

    They prefer male pronouns - they like the sound of them better. Why is that bad?

    They prefer facial hair more, and want it. Why is that bad?

    They wish to have a flat chest. Why is that bad?

    They find these things to be more comfortable on them. They feel happier. They go on to live their lives just fine. So what if they want to be called by male pronouns - how does that hurt you? They like them better. So what if they want a flat chest? To them, it looks better. They feel good about themselves. People get breast implants all the time, and plastic surgery all the time, no one here is arguing against those procedures.

    Basically...the majority of people who go through with transitioning are happier. So even if people don't agree with their aesthetics or whatnot, why should it matter that much? They have every right to be happy. What you see as mutilated or bizarre looks good to them, it makes them feel happy. Why should they not go through with things they like to appease other people's opinions?

    That's one reason I really dislike when people purposely use "she/her/etc" when someone has said they prefer male pronouns. Why is it so bad to just use what they prefer?

    If everyone here is basically saying that you can be everything a transman is, but still identify as female...well, alright then. Why can't they be a female...who likes being addressed with male pronouns? Who wants chest surgery because they find that aesthetically pleasing? Who, under doctor supervision and informed consent, takes a prescription to get facial hair and other things they find aesthetically pleasing?

    If you wish to view me as a female, okay. Biologically, physically...I am. But I am a female who would like you to call me Quinn, who prefers what society dictates are "male" pronouns, who wants to grow facial hair, who wants surgery to get what society dictates is a "male only" looking chest, and who wants to have intercourse with a penile prosthetic and the like. Why is that not okay? That's what makes me happy, those things.

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  10. thank you for helping me articulate my issues with the trans trend more clearly. its helpful to know i'm not the only one who sees a problem with so much of it.

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  11. Elzi,

    You comment on nearly every blog Dirt posts. Like you wait around all day or something. You could watch Lifetime or Ellen or maybe Jerry Springer since your so inclined to drama,but here you all everyday ready to jump on any transman or ally with a positive opinion. And "shitstorm", seriously? Nice vocabulary there, i see your Prefrontal Lobes are nicely developed.

    Thanks for the open day Dirt, though i was looking forward to another childhood story, im really liking them.

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  12. Some said cow trawling after people who's lives have nothing to do with her.Leaving town?shame it is not the planet.Get a life and stop trying to validate your ass through posting up ill informed,bigoted poison.

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  13. FTMs are the most delusional brainwashed women there are. You are living in a pipe dream. WAKE THE FUCK UP!

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  14. TrannyTrent if you were really being bothered you would have simply contacted IC3 instead of whipping up drama. You "sir" are a liar.

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  15. "wish being seen as she was no different from being seen as he. But I just don't think that is possible for anybody in society to do. "
    AO that is exactly what radfems are working to bring about- if not for us then for the next generations. It's too bad this trans fad is working for opposite goals.

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  16. Quinn, I'm feeling you on this topic.

    When I first became aware that people could transition I had a really hard time with it. I used to say every, EVERY, thing that Dirt and others on this forum say. After years of feeling so bogged down by hatred and distrust of transmen and their motivations (as seen through a lens of jealousy) I finally wondered exactly what the fuck was *wrong* with me that I couldn't let this shit go. If I was such a proud butch, why wasn't I out there just being that, instead of poring over websites and pictures of transmen. I literally HAD to confront myself about this behavior. My life was wasting away and stagnating-I figured that whatever my deal was I better figure it out and get on with it. I admitted that I wanted a flat chest, a beard, a lower voice. Desperately wanted those things. I know what my chromosomes are and I don't really trust the medical community or therapists-as all humans have natural bias. "Man trapped in a women's body?" "Male brain?" Who gives a fuck? My take is this: Gender is not contained in the body or brain. Every day you see people who seem more "male" in a female body, or vice versa. I don't accept that there is anything wrong with those people that needs to be fixed or pathologized by the medical establishment. But if people do seek transition, like I finally did, that's fine. Call me a female-whatever. Nobody else in the world ever does, but that's cool. I have a good life.

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  17. Quinn are you just daft?

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  18. If it's a pipe dream, it's a pretty good dream. And...you need to calm the fuck down.

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  19. http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/12/one_gene_stops_ovaries_from_turning_into_testes.php

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  20. Good FTM chest site:
    http://www.yourplasticsurgeryguide.com/breast-implants/implants-pectoral.htm

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  21. It's not even worth talking to these women haters.

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  22. Are FTMs the most privileged self centered asleep-at-the-wheel types ever? Their biggest argument is "We are no different than women who get giant breast implants and what's wrong with that?" and "No one should ever think about or question any social trend and it's effect on society".
    That's it.
    That's all they've got.

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  23. Let those kids do what they want to themselves and let's wait 10 years for the show to start...

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  24. Google "FTM Top Surgery Botched"
    for links to the sad outcomes.

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  25. xD I dunno, AP, I might be? You didn't really address as to what I am possibly daft about.

    All I'm saying is that, regardless of my sex or gender, I know what I like aesthetically. Personally, I prefer male pronouns for myself. I also want to grow facial hair, I want a lower voice, and I want a flat chest. To me, that's aesthetically pleasing. I feel most comfortable that way. I don't view surgery as mutilation, and I don't view taking prescriptions as mutilation either. That's just my take on it. There are people all over the world who get surgery or take prescriptions/pills to achieve their aesthetically appealing goal.

    I mean, doesn't that just make me a woman who wants all those things? I'm just trying to figure out the logic. It's okay if I'm considered a woman who wants all those things...I'm just saying, I do still want all those things, just because I prefer them.

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  26. "Are FTMs the most privileged self centered asleep-at-the-wheel types ever? Their biggest argument is "We are no different than women who get giant breast implants and what's wrong with that?" and "No one should ever think about or question any social trend and it's effect on society".
    That's it.
    That's all they've got."


    You did not address my comment though. I promoted the fact that I am healthy, happy, and productive. I simply feel as a man inside a womans body. How is this harming anyone? I would never tell you how to live your life. I won't change who I am because someone else decided it's wrong or not real. No one but me knows how I feel. No one but me has to live my life.

    I mean no harm to you ladies, honest. And if these young transmen want to take the risks to their health and appearance be comfortable in their own bodies, that is their choice. I can understand why they feel threatened by what you are telling them. If you want to get through to them, I'd suggest just a little bit of respect! If you respect someone, they will return the favor.

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  27. Notebook,

    I know you ARE a man, but, if you are willing to explain, I'd like to know how you know you are one. I can understand the argument when people define their sex by how their body is, or how their body should/must/needs to be. Either way they have the biological sex in mind. But you sound as if you just have some social roles in mind.

    I can understand choosing masculinity but why did you choose to live as a man instead of as a masculine woman? If more people chose to live as masculine women, it would make it easier for other people to live as masculine women.

    Thanks.

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  28. To those pursuing physical changes, I did a (long and rambling) post about it, and other things, on my blog:

    http://questioningtranssexuality.blogspot.com/2010/11/immaturity-of-transhumanism-why-this.html

    I once viewed body mod as an uplifting, self-determinating, powerful force. I now view it as immaturity. What really matters anyway is who you are inside.

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  29. To the Anonymous before me: I agree, if I had had more masculine women as models instead of the 100% sparkly girly girls society offers, I wouldn't have thought of myself as male.

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  30. @ Quinn


    You are a brainwashed woman. Everything you are saying further proves this. So sad.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hey, for the trans who try to convince everybody around he is a male. I am a sraight woman, got engaged to a trans-guys, we broke-up because I didn't want to loose my life with a non dick sterile person. I came back to normal male and I feel the differenc deep inside me ;)

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  32. Why is it brainwashed to consider those things attractive? I don't understand how someone's aesthetic values can be considered brainwashed. That's like telling someone they're brainwashed for liking the color purple simply because you don't like the color purple.

    I was raised by my mom and five older sisters. I was taught every day how amazing, incredible, and powerful women are. I was taught basically that there was nothing more I could possibly ask to be. Even now my mother and two oldest sisters are my role models, and who I love very dearest in life. I know women are amazing and beautiful.

    Even such, I guys find male pronouns and the look of what society has dealt to be "masculine" to be what I feel suits me best. Very simple, really.

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  33. male = dick
    no dick = fashion queen attitude

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  34. @ Quinn

    It's actually not as simple as you want to believe.

    And you cannot love women truly if you have so much internalized misogny that if takes over your entire life without you even realising it, which clearly it has for you.

    Once again, SAD.

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  35. transFTM = no dick
    no dick = no male
    transFTM = not a male, just a fake

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  36. @Notebook-
    I simply feel as a man inside a womans body. How is this harming anyone? I would never tell you how to live your life. I won't change who I am because someone else decided it's wrong or not real. No one but me knows how I feel. No one but me has to live my life.
    -------------------
    Your assertion is that you, as a person born with female parts "feel as" a person born with male parts. If that is true than why attempt to socially change your gender? Why a name change, etc. Why not just surgically apply imitation male genitals and synthetic hormones to your body and continue living as "Cindy" or whatever.
    Since no FTMs actually do that one must surmise that it is actually the social gender role, the class if you will, that you are trying to change your position in.
    You ask how this is harming anyone:
    1. Your belief that you can know what the existence of another person is "like" and that you can inhabit and colonize that person's existence is offensive.
    As a colonizer who imagines another's experience as something you can possess, you must necessarily project your own fantasies onto the existence of those whose lives you seek to inhabit. This is very offensive to those who actually have the lived experience that you imagine.
    2. The fact that you never mention the giant elephant in the room: Male Supremacy on Earth and its relation to your decision to imagine yourself as male and your attempt to inhabit the experience of those born with male parts is either because a.) You are unconscious of it b.) The existence of those like yourself who are born with female parts is so inconsequential a matter as to not warrant analysis or discussion.
    This lack of analysis from someone living in a world where tens of millions of females are murdered or aborted on the basis of their female parts, from someone seeking to cease inhabiting their female self, is very offensive to all females, and very harmful to all women and girls both because it ignores their existence and oppression, renders it inconsequential, and is also the sort of male supremacist ideology that forms the foundation of the systems which actually result in the subjugation and femicide of your sisters worldwide. Your assertion that your needs are the only ones that require consideration is the sort of selfish privileged narcissistic view of humanity that one would require in order to espouse the views you seek to propagate.

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  37. But I thought what most people were saying is that, if you're born female, you're still a woman regardless of how masculine you wish to appear and whatnot? You're basically telling me that it's a bad thing that I find what society deems to be "masculine" so appealing. Why is that a bad thing?

    The whole point of many people here seems to say that females and males should be able to find any aesthetic pleasing and still be considered female or male, because there shouldn't be labels that say a certain fashion is feminine or masculine, or that says facial hair has to be masculine, or that a flat chest has to be masculine.

    So why, in that case, should it be a bad thing that, though I am female, I find what society has dictated to be masculine attractive? Shouldn't anyone be allowed to find whatever they want attractive, without having to worry about the labels society puts on there?

    If there were no labels that said "facial hair is purely male", "flat chests are purely male", "x is purely male" and so on, then I imagine most trans individuals would be just fine. Females should be free to want facial hair and flat chests. Males should be free to want boobs and to wear dresses. That doesn't make us messed up.

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  38. "another person is "like" and that you can inhabit and colonize that person's existence is offensive."

    Oh god Dirt, the UFOgeek forum has just invaded your blog and they feel male inside. I am scared o_O !

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  39. "I don't understand how someone's aesthetic values can be considered brainwashed. That's like telling someone they're brainwashed for liking the color purple simply because you don't like the color purple."
    @Quinn-
    On what do you base your belief that aesthetics have no relation to the culture in which they exist?

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  40. LOL. Nasty bitch ass lesbians like this make me so happy I transitioned out of that community. I'll take my scars and thinning hair any day over man hating judgmental ignorant lesbians.

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  41. If you are born female, it is literally IMPOSSIBLE to "feel male" or "know what it's like to be a man"

    it's called penis envy

    it's called not liking cliches, stupid stereotypes, etc etc

    it has NOTHING to do with your PERFECTLY HEALTHY FEMALE BODY being "wrong" or having to obliterate any trace of female you were born with!!!

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  42. I'm not sure, honestly - I think both females and males are advertised aesthetic-wise equally, maybe even females moreso. Still, I guess I don't really see the reason why someone likes something to be a big issue - again, who cares why someone likes the color purple, they like it all the same, and they have every right to like it.

    Whether I'm female or male, I should have the right to prefer the look of facial hair, or a flatter chest. Just as regardless of male or female, someone should have the right to prefer the look of boobs or shaved legs/armpits/etc.

    I do think it's a problem even Dirt has brought up - that this is all a big society issue. Things are labeled as "male" and "female", and no one is supposed to be allowed to cross the lines. Men are supposed to like their flat chests and their facial hair and all that, women are supposed to like their boobs and their lack of facial hair and all that. However, if we all just stopped labeling these things so black and white, and let people freely choose what they think is most attractive without having to peg them with labels...society'd be a lot more free, I think.

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  43. "Notebook,

    I know you ARE a man, but, if you are willing to explain, I'd like to know how you know you are one. I can understand the argument when people define their sex by how their body is, or how their body should/must/needs to be. Either way they have the biological sex in mind. But you sound as if you just have some social roles in mind.

    I can understand choosing masculinity but why did you choose to live as a man instead of as a masculine woman? If more people chose to live as masculine women, it would make it easier for other people to live as masculine women.

    Thanks."


    Hello! I appreciate the non-threatening and respectful approach. I completely accept all criticism and differing opinions as long as they come across in a respectful manner!
    I think anyone who feels attacked would be able to have a calm and civilized conversation about a topic. I do not think I can answer the last comment made to me, as it came across (at least to me) as very threatening. That being said....

    I cannot explain it. I tried living as masculine female in my teens and early childhood, I found myself very depressed, because I didn't want to feel 'male'. I wanted so badly to feel like a woman. Whatever it is, it didn't go away. I was so afraid I'd be rejected by lesbians, by straights, by family.. for feeling this way.

    I didn't know what a transsexual was, I just started living as 'male'. I found, just simply living as a 'man', I felt like.. I was being true to how I felt inside. It has nothing to do with how I feel about women, or how I feel about male supremacy. It's just what made me feel right. I don't know if doctors can explain it.. all I know is, it' feels right. I don't know how else to explain it other than, when you are lesbian you just know, when you are gay you just know. When you are trans, you just know.

    I wouldn't force someone who was lesbian to not be a lesbian. So It scares me when someone says they don't want me to be who I am.

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  44. "LOL. Nasty bitch ass lesbians like this make me so happy I transitioned out of that community. I'll take my scars and thinning hair any day over man hating judgmental ignorant lesbians."

    you ARE a woman!!!! take a look down at YOUR VAGINA!!!!! the self hate you have for yourself and all women is disgusting.

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  45. "If you are born female, it is literally IMPOSSIBLE to "feel male" or "know what it's like to be a man"

    it's called penis envy

    it's called not liking cliches, stupid stereotypes, etc etc

    it has NOTHING to do with your PERFECTLY HEALTHY FEMALE BODY being "wrong" or having to obliterate any trace of female you were born with!!!"


    I do not want to offend you.. but I believe that if you define who you are by your genitals, you are missing out on alot of great experiences! If my girlfriend had a penis, and she still acted and presented herself to me as a female? I'd still see her as the same person. If a person is born with deformed genitalia, I would respect them as the gender that they felt best described how they felt.

    I don't think you should have to explain your identity to anyone. And I'd think it'd be a pretty boring world if everything was so black and white, friend!

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  46. LOL. It matters not what body parts I do or don't have... I like my body. As a matter of fact I FUCKING GET OFF ON IT and so does my wife. As a matter of fact... when she runs the fuck and thankfully I'm comfortable enough with my body to enjoy it... unlike a lot of butch lesbians who can't let go and enjoy letting their lover please them. There is NOTHING you bitches can say to or about me that would embarrass me or hurt my feelings ... I'm just THAT hard. I love the body medicine helped me create and I love that I disgust you.

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  47. So we should not do what we want to do with OUR bodies for your comfort? For the good of the culture? You know what's good for the culture? People knowing who they are and moving on to the larger issues in life. That's precisely what I see trans people doing. In fact the only people I see getting mired down in this issue are those with unaddressed gender issues themselves.

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  48. Are you hearing me you ignorant haters?? I don't need you to tell me what body parts I have... as if you know anyway... I love my unique body and i love that I walk through this world as a man with all the privilege that affords me. It rocks. And I'm so glad to no longer be associated with the lesbians in society. Give me roid rage, baldness, scars any day over your man hating BS

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  49. Notebook,

    Thanks for your explanation.

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  50. @Quinn- so you are changing your aesthetics and keeping your female name, drivers license, female id?

    " I think both females and males are advertised aesthetic-wise equally, maybe even females moreso."

    Do you see females like yourself reflected in advertising?

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  51. "Anonymous said...
    Notebook,

    Thanks for your explanation.
    November 13, 2010 8:43 PM"


    You are very welcome! I am not asking anyone to feel, or believe what I believe. It's nice to discuss our differences. As I said to Dirt before.. it'd be boring if we all had the same opinions.

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  52. @ Anonymous 8:02:

    You said: 1. Your belief that you can know what the existence of another person is "like" and that you can inhabit and colonize that person's existence is offensive.
    As a colonizer who imagines another's experience as something you can possess, you must necessarily project your own fantasies onto the existence of those whose lives you seek to inhabit. This is very offensive to those who actually have the lived experience that you imagine.

    I'll turn this one back on YOU. I don't presume to know what it's like to have been born and raised a man (I'm an FTM). I don't reject my lived experiences as a woman. You have no idea what it's like to be me, to presume you know all about my lived experiences as an FTM, and that's offensive to me.

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  53. This is pointless. Notebook asked questions, asked for dialogue, then ignores it. And the rest are trolls.

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  54. Take a look at your baby pictures.

    Take your clothes off and stand in front of the mirror



    THE TRUTH will be staring right at you.

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  55. "@ Anonymous 8:02:

    You said: 1. Your belief that you can know what the existence of another person is "like" and that you can inhabit and colonize that person's existence is offensive.
    As a colonizer who imagines another's experience as something you can possess, you must necessarily project your own fantasies onto the existence of those whose lives you seek to inhabit. This is very offensive to those who actually have the lived experience that you imagine.

    I'll turn this one back on YOU. I don't presume to know what it's like to have been born and raised a man (I'm an FTM). I don't reject my lived experiences as a woman. You have no idea what it's like to be me, to presume you know all about my lived experiences as an FTM, and that's offensive to me."


    I was a little thrown by this comment as well. I felt more, growing up, that I didn't know what it was to be a woman. Though I inhabited the female body, I always felt male. Whatever it means to be male is my own business. Not all men are the same. Not all women are the same. Being a woman to one person won't be the same to another female. It's individuality. Not some infiltration scheme we are arbitrating. I am not lying to anyone, all of my friends know I am trans. I just felt most content once I came out with these feelings.

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  56. "Anonymous said...
    This is pointless. Notebook asked questions, asked for dialogue, then ignores it. And the rest are trolls."

    What do you mean? I tried to keep up with all of the comments, but I was away during the middle. Did I miss your answer? If it was something I found to be offensive and pointless to respond to, that might be why I did not. I am not here to fight, I am here to share my experiences.

    -Note

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  57. "@Quinn- so you are changing your aesthetics and keeping your female name, drivers license, female id?

    " I think both females and males are advertised aesthetic-wise equally, maybe even females moreso."

    Do you see females like yourself reflected in advertising?"

    Sorry mate, it's getting harder to keep finding you again. xD

    Personally, I chose what I see as a more androgynous name - Quinn. It can go either way, and I do like that. I honestly didn't like my name before, even for the girliest of girls. My problem with the ID, I guess, is that I do prefer male pronouns. I just like the sound of them better, and I do like being addressed by them. Still, changing my gender on my ID isn't a big issue to me - but that is mainly because on IDs it says "sex". I can't argue with biology, so, by that token, it's correct.

    I do think it'd be very empowering to see much less gender emphasis in today's media, because I agree in that a lot of these "gender crisis" popping up in youth is based because more and more, people aren't fitting into society's neat little bubbles. These newer generations are pushing and crossing over the lines and still searching for acceptance. If we just did away with all this masculine/feminine labeling, I think it'd do everyone a lot of good.

    If I didn't answer you the way you were hoping for, let me know. I'm currently running about making pasta. XD

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  58. @Notebook:

    Yeah, that's more what I meant: my lived experience as a female-bodied person who didn't really identify as female and who has been getting kicked out of women's bathrooms since I was 8, and who is now an FTM. I'm not trying to occupy the role of a man born and raised male. So stop colonizing ME by presuming to understand my experience. (not you, notebook, the anti-trans folks)

    Another question for you that believe that the entire planet is completely dominated by men and that men are essentially evil, shouldn't you be advocating that all men either off themselves or become MTF's? Because nothing any man or FTM does to tell you they are not seeking to further male privilige or use rape threats as a power grab seems to satisfy you.

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  59. Thank you for your answer Quinn.
    Yum pasta!

    "My problem with the ID, I guess, is that I do prefer male pronouns. I just like the sound of them better, and I do like being addressed by them. "

    This is more than simple aesthetics. Would you mind explaining the above quote a bit- what it is that you like about it?
    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Anon@8:02. Thanks, you nailed it. It's pretty simple, really -- the idea that you should have to consider yourself male in order to inhabit a particular social role is offensive. Propagating that idea causes harm, particularly to women, whose social roles are still far more restricted in 2010 than most people are willing to admit.

    ReplyDelete
  61. @C. heres a good site for you
    http://news.mensactivism.org/

    ReplyDelete
  62. "@Notebook:

    Yeah, that's more what I meant: my lived experience as a female-bodied person who didn't really identify as female and who has been getting kicked out of women's bathrooms since I was 8, and who is now an FTM. I'm not trying to occupy the role of a man born and raised male. So stop colonizing ME by presuming to understand my experience. (not you, notebook, the anti-trans folks)

    Another question for you that believe that the entire planet is completely dominated by men and that men are essentially evil, shouldn't you be advocating that all men either off themselves or become MTF's? Because nothing any man or FTM does to tell you they are not seeking to further male privilige or use rape threats as a power grab seems to satisfy you."


    Yeah. I feel like those who think we are "becoming men" to achieve 'male supremacy' are, themselves, saying that men are superior somehow. MOST if not all of my straight male friends are pretty dull to have a conversation with. If I felt female-identified, I would be a female. There's nothing wrong with females. It's just not at ALL about trying to be superior or powerful. I don't know how to explain it any other way.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Everyone if you haven't figured it out already im just pissed at FTM's cuz my transition did not go so well i mean look at me im fucking ugly.

    ReplyDelete
  64. @ Anyonmous 9:09:

    "@C. heres a good site for you
    http://news.mensactivism.org/"

    That is like saying all white people want to kill all Jewish people by showing me the Stormfront website.

    Besides, if you think those whiners who think family court favors women and men shouldn't have to take part in contraception are the biggest threats to women and the biggest reifiers of the patriarchy... well, then, I have a large bridge I'd like to sell you.

    ReplyDelete
  65. (((((Anon@9:08)))))
    Thank you.
    This is pointless, mainly trolls and "there is no male privilege" bullshit. Like a bunch of Holocaust deniers.
    Have a good evening.

    ReplyDelete
  66. @ Notebook

    you are completely delusional and ignorant.

    ReplyDelete
  67. "@ Anyonmous 9:09:

    "@C. heres a good site for you
    http://news.mensactivism.org/"

    That is like saying all white people want to kill all Jewish people by showing me the Stormfront website.

    Besides, if you think those whiners who think family court favors women and men shouldn't have to take part in contraception are the biggest threats to women and the biggest reifiers of the patriarchy... well, then, I have a large bridge I'd like to sell you."


    Feeling male from childhood doesn't mean we're male supremacists. Being trans isn't an attack against women or a perpetration of rape. It's simply the fact that if you had to go against everything you felt inside, you would feel miserable. The way I feel, it's very difficult to describe it to someone whose never experienced it. The only way I know how is to say.. If you had to stop being a lesbian, because a straight person told you it was wrong, wouldn't you feel threatened? Wouldn't that make you feel miserable, or depressed? Wouldn't you do anything in your power to be with women, despite what that person told you?

    ReplyDelete
  68. "Anonymous said...
    @ Notebook

    you are completely delusional and ignorant."


    !! Oh..

    ReplyDelete
  69. "This is more than simple aesthetics. Would you mind explaining the above quote a bit- what it is that you like about it?
    Thank you."

    OKAY, I'm still here. We all ate pasta and it was lovely. XD

    Anyways, I do have to say, this is where even my best attempts at logic fail me. It's like when people ask me why I hate most little dogs so much. I really don't know - I know they're just as much a dog as any other dog, and yet I still prefer one over the other. I don't think I was brainwashed to dislike little dogs or anything, I just...do.

    It may very well be a societal influence - I want to get into psychology, so I can't really pretend that doesn't exist. All I know is that it is how I feel. One way or another, it is how I arrived. I think it may very well be a societal impact - no one is going to really look twice at someone with facial hair, a flat chest, *insert other "masculine" traits here* if they're being addressed by male pronouns. You will get more ridicule however if you are that way and are addressed by female pronouns. There's all this societal pressure to be one or the other, and that being one means you have to deny every defining trait of the other. So yes, I suppose on some level it could very well be a society-influence preference, there.

    ReplyDelete
  70. "(((((Anon@9:08)))))
    Thank you.
    This is pointless, mainly trolls and "there is no male privilege" bullshit. Like a bunch of Holocaust deniers.
    Have a good evening."


    I never said there was no male privilege. What I mean is, I am not becoming a 'supreme biological male' I am a transmale, I am transgendered. I acknowledge the fact that I am a male brained female bodied individual. I do not feel superior over anyone. And It's not my aim to become as such. It's just how I feel. I don't know how to explain to anyone else why I feel the way I do, it's just something you know from childhood. Like Quinn said, it could very well be something socially ingrained into us. Or it could be medical, physical, mental. All I know is, it feels right to live as male.

    ReplyDelete
  71. It's beyond me why any woman would NOT want a flat chest, a beard, larger muscles, a deeper voice.

    But then I guess that's because I'm ftm-not a woman.

    ReplyDelete
  72. If you had to stop being a lesbian, because a straight person told you it was wrong, wouldn't you feel threatened? Wouldn't that make you feel miserable, or depressed? Wouldn't you do anything in your power to be with women, despite what that person told you?
    ----------------
    People aren't oppressed by the privileged "telling you it's wrong". Oppression is caused by systems of power enacted in ways that cause real world consequences and punishment.
    There are a gazillion people telling gays and lesbians we're "wrong", and there always will be. We challenge heteronormativity. So what?

    ReplyDelete
  73. "It's beyond me why any woman would NOT want a flat chest, a beard, larger muscles, a deeper voice.

    But then I guess that's because I'm ftm-not a woman.

    November 13, 2010 9:39 PM"

    And FTMs just don't like women the way god made them.

    ReplyDelete
  74. "Anonymous said...
    If you had to stop being a lesbian, because a straight person told you it was wrong, wouldn't you feel threatened? Wouldn't that make you feel miserable, or depressed? Wouldn't you do anything in your power to be with women, despite what that person told you?
    ----------------
    People aren't oppressed by the privileged "telling you it's wrong". Oppression is caused by systems of power enacted in ways that cause real world consequences and punishment.
    There are a gazillion people telling gays and lesbians we're "wrong", and there always will be. We challenge heteronormativity. So what?"


    Oh! I was just trying to give her an example of how she's potentially making the trans-community feel. It's not something you have to agree with. I just feel like a little more tolerance could come into play there. She doesn't have to think I'm right, but I don't think anyone has the right to tell me I'm wrong for the way I live my life.

    ReplyDelete
  75. "It's beyond me why any woman would NOT want a flat chest, a beard, larger muscles, a deeper voice.

    But then I guess that's because I'm ftm-not a woman."


    THOSE THINGS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MANHOOD OR CHANGING YOUR BODY!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  76. "Anonymous said...
    "It's beyond me why any woman would NOT want a flat chest, a beard, larger muscles, a deeper voice.

    But then I guess that's because I'm ftm-not a woman.

    November 13, 2010 9:39 PM"

    And FTMs just don't like women the way god made them."


    Oh, god. How I love women. Their shape, their smell, their minds, their everything. Just, not on me. :)

    ReplyDelete
  77. Notebook, I think we're on the same page. :)

    Look, people who think I'm joining and hurrah-ing the patriarchy by changing my sex: I put in 35 years of time as a butch dyke, so believe me, I know what that's like. I've been threatened and harassed, and treated like crap at work by narcissistic control-freak male bosses. For what it's worth, my father used to beat the crap out of my, among other things.

    Do I hate men? NO! Do I use one example of an FTM asshole (*coughkaelblockcough*) as an indictment of an entire group of people? No! Do I believe that there is no longer any sex/gender oppression in this society? NO! Do I thank my lucky stars that I wasn't born a poor woman in a traditional Muslim society that practices female genital mutilation? YES!

    It's so much more than all that. It's so much more than a particular photo of a bad top surgery. It's about more than genitals (if a man is born with a penis and then loses it in an accident, is he a woman?). And it's certainly way more than writing off all FTM's as trolls who have no idea that women still suffer from oppression and other evils.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Quinn and Notebook,
    I admire your dignity and openness. You are clearly able to treat others with more respect than they can afford you. It seems clear that you have nothing to hide and don't have to resort to insults to explain your point of view. The posts from your detractors speak volumes about their characters.

    ReplyDelete
  79. "I don't think anyone has the right to tell me I'm wrong for the way I live my life."

    Why not?

    ReplyDelete
  80. "And FTMs just don't like women the way god made them."
    -raises hand-
    I really like it, actually. I think my girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. I also think my mom and sisters are some of the most beautiful people out there.

    I think it's possible to appreciate how others look, but prefer another look for yourself. My girlfriend loves longer hair, but she doesn't like it on herself at all, for example.

    ReplyDelete
  81. "C said...
    Notebook, I think we're on the same page. :)"


    C, feel free to contact me through email or add my yahoo (notebuaku).

    ReplyDelete
  82. And AP - thank you for your kindness. Honestly, even though there are a few comments that aren't exactly respectful, I think things could be going a whole lot worse, too.

    I just feel that even if I disagree with someone, there's always "agree to disagree", and there never has to be all this name-calling and bashing.

    ReplyDelete
  83. [] Anonymous said...
    "I don't think anyone has the right to tell me I'm wrong for the way I live my life."

    Why not?[]


    I mean.. I suppose you can tell me I'm wrong, but that's not your choice. It's my choice how I want to live, as long as I'm not hurting anyone or myself. I feel it's in poor taste to tell someone their lifestyle is wrong.

    Oh my GOD, I have the worst cold of my life.. my eyeballs are even runny. HELP!

    ReplyDelete
  84. "THOSE THINGS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MANHOOD OR CHANGING YOUR BODY!!!!"

    No, I'm pretty sure manhood is about accepting the responsibilities placed on men by society. A by-product of going through a puberty brought about by testosterone. I've had that experience, so I can talk about it. You haven't so you can't.

    ReplyDelete
  85. []Quinn said...
    And AP - thank you for your kindness. Honestly, even though there are a few comments that aren't exactly respectful, I think things could be going a whole lot worse, too.

    I just feel that even if I disagree with someone, there's always "agree to disagree", and there never has to be all this name-calling and bashing.[]


    I agree Quinn. I do not want a fight, which is why I neglected to answer some of the angrier comments posted here. I LOVE to discuss. Especially with people who don't believe the same things I do.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Agreed. Discussion = Good Times.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  87. "I'm pretty sure manhood is about accepting the responsibilities placed on men by society. A by-product of going through a puberty brought about by testosterone. I've had that experience, so I can talk about it. You haven't so you can't. "

    Could you share with us what these responsibilities are exactly?
    The ones that are specific to bodies on testosterone?

    ReplyDelete
  88. "No, I'm pretty sure manhood is about accepting the responsibilities placed on men by society. A by-product of going through a puberty brought about by testosterone. I've had that experience, so I can talk about it. You haven't so you can't."


    Your vagina begs to differ, sweetheart.

    ReplyDelete
  89. "Anonymous said...
    "No, I'm pretty sure manhood is about accepting the responsibilities placed on men by society. A by-product of going through a puberty brought about by testosterone. I've had that experience, so I can talk about it. You haven't so you can't."


    Your vagina begs to differ, sweetheart."


    I know some women with penis' and some men with vaginas.. Some people are born with both and none at all.. how can we define these people? It seems a bit unfair to define a person by flaps of skin over their crotch. I'd rather judge a person on their intellect, mind, knowledge and wit, personally.

    ReplyDelete
  90. "Your vagina begs to differ, sweetheart."

    He said there were specific responsibilities of those on testosterone, not those with male genitals.

    ReplyDelete
  91. @ Notebook

    once again, you and all of them are living in a pipe dream. Plain and simple.

    ReplyDelete
  92. []Anonymous said...
    @ Notebook

    once again, you and all of them are living in a pipe dream. Plain and simple.[]


    Oh... thank's for.. clearing that up for me!

    ReplyDelete
  93. "Could you share with us what these responsibilities are exactly?
    The ones that are specific to bodies on testosterone?"

    Yes, and i would like to but I have a date with my beloved. And I'm late. Gnight y'all!

    ReplyDelete
  94. Can you be a little more specific about how we are living in a pipe dream? Help me understand your perspective.

    ReplyDelete
  95. My vagina begs to differ?

    Look, if your vagina is talking to you, I think there is whole 'nother blogspot and diagnosis for you. I'd look into it, sweetheart.

    ReplyDelete
  96. []Anonymous said...
    My vagina begs to differ?

    Look, if your vagina is talking to you, I think there is whole 'nother blogspot and diagnosis for you. I'd look into it, sweetheart.[]


    LOL. I would be concerned if vagina's could talk back.. I wouldn't want to be criticized by one..

    ReplyDelete
  97. It's a pretty good pipe dream.I'll take it.
    You don't gotta be all sour grapes about it.

    ReplyDelete
  98. @notebook

    Do you have a different image of your body in your mind than what you physically have? Have you had body dysphoria at all?

    I find when I think of going to the store or myself 10 years down the road, the self I see is male (?!) but I do not have a problem with my body. I wonder if it is the same for you??

    ReplyDelete
  99. Are there Estrogen responsibilities?

    ReplyDelete
  100. Silly, angry lesbians... we can use your way of thinking if you like. Trans folks choose to be trans because they haven't learned to love being female... and lesbians choose homosexuality because they've either been mistreated by a man in their life or just haven't fucked the right man yet.

    ReplyDelete
  101. "I do think it'd be very empowering to see much less gender emphasis in today's media, because I agree in that a lot of these "gender crisis" popping up in youth is based because more and more, people aren't fitting into society's neat little bubbles. These newer generations are pushing and crossing over the lines and still searching for acceptance. If we just did away with all this masculine/feminine labeling, I think it'd do everyone a lot of good."

    I agree Quinn. Thank you for your comments.

    ReplyDelete
  102. []AO said...
    @notebook

    Do you have a different image of your body in your mind than what you physically have? Have you had body dysphoria at all?

    I find when I think of going to the store or myself 10 years down the road, the self I see is male (?!) but I do not have a problem with my body. I wonder if it is the same for you??
    November 13, 2010 10:26 PM[]


    I consider myself spiritual and more mentally driven than physically driven. Which is why I don't relate to the people saying "If you have a vagina you are a lady!"

    I don't feel the need for hormones. I accept the fact that I feel mentally male, and have the body of a female. I live full-time as male, my partner and my friends all refer to me with male pronouns. And that's enough for me. I don't force my beliefs down anyones throat, but I don't seem to have to. It's amazing the amount of acceptance I've encountered.


    Yes, I do experience body dysphoria, and I do see myself as male-bodied even though I am physically female. But I do not feel sad or disgusted with myself. But that could be due to the fact that I have a great amount of support behind me.


    Most of everyone I meet respects the fact that I am trans and use male pronouns. I pass 90% of the time with people who don't know. It's a comfortable and preferred way of life for me.

    ReplyDelete
  103. And the pipe dream is amazing... so glad to be living it.....:-)

    ReplyDelete
  104. funny that no one has anything to say about the top surgery successes....you all just bash on the things that look bad but you have nothing to say about us guys that turned out well...

    ReplyDelete
  105. I'd like to see the day when people are not treated differently based on perceived sex.

    ReplyDelete
  106. I may fall asleep - Thank you to all who participated in this discussion. I really enjoyed it. And thank you Dirt for leaving it on open comment.

    ReplyDelete
  107. I'll just promote my own blog I did on the subject. It's more fun to be argued with on my own blog. lol!

    http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=428602191&blogId=540529324

    ReplyDelete
  108. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences Notebook.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Why is it I have this funny feeling Dirt did not go anywhere and she is behind a lot of these Anon posts? She strikes me a a person who would not relinquish control unless there is a reason.

    ReplyDelete
  110. I think people need to stop 'glamorising' something serious, in saying that most of the stories we hear people neglect to say that it varies from country to country state to state.... in my country NOTHING is free or subsidised i went through 3 years of therapy, before starting 'HRT' my family were involved and also questioned by treating doctors, i STILL see the doctors 3 monthly with regular testing, it isnt "easy" to go for a surgery simply because you need 2 letters of doctors who are "recognised" as 'GID' treating doctors.. I do not know about the USA but it sure as hell is nothing like what people on this blog are saying.. and honestly the Feminist movement was about EQUALITY for ALL...

    ReplyDelete
  111. Anon @ 10:06 - 11/13: All this talk about trans men having vaginas... You know there are countless numbers of trans men who DON'T have any such thing right?

    ReplyDelete
  112. I have the brain of a ninja. True story.

    ReplyDelete
  113. ".. and honestly the Feminist movement was about EQUALITY for ALL..."

    The Feminist Movement may be over for you but it isn't for the rest of us.
    Feminism is about WOMEN.
    The needs, concerns, and emancipation of WOMEN.

    You must be thinking of "humanism". Humanism is about rights for everyone.

    Jesus, nothing's allowed to exist purely for women, is it? Not even the Women's Movement, apparently...

    ReplyDelete
  114. Message From TrannyTrentNovember 14, 2010 at 1:18 AM

    A Message From TrannyTrent

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tCZtY_j2EM&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

    I am Lesbian and I agree with him..

    ReplyDelete
  115. Why doesn't Tranny Trent know how offensive the word Tranny is to trans women?

    ReplyDelete
  116. Why doesn't Tranny Trent know how offensive the word Tranny is to trans women?



    **Concidering it is a descriptive word he is utilizing on himself I don't think this is an issue. If I call myself a Dyke that is one thing. But if some straight person calls me a Dyke that is yet another. Same thing here.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Anonymous said...
    I have the brain of a ninja. True story.

    November 14, 2010 1:03 AM

    Should we be calling you by your "ninja name" lol

    ReplyDelete
  118. Is Tranny trent in fact TJ Jourian ?

    The guy who luckily has 2 articles on Dirt blog because he stole this job position at Vanderbilt from a lesbian ?

    see there

    http://dirtywhiteboi67.blogspot.com/search/label/TJ%20Jourian

    It looks that in this video you gave usthe link, he discloses a "stalker" story to get rid of the attention caused by this controversy of him hired at Vanderbilt as a stranger and as a non-lesbian. A real politician this TJ Jourian. Great idea the stalker story ;). Note: his video is not fact proved...

    Us your brain kids, you are fooled by trans poster boys.

    ReplyDelete
  119. I was walking in the woods once and noticed that I really felt free for the first time in my life. I thought about all the expectations people had about me and how much school is bullshit and I was sick of everything. Then I tripped over a root. I was fine though.

    ReplyDelete
  120. @ anon November 14, 2010 1:08 AM
    i refered to the feminist movement because some of the "women" on here are trashing female bodied men, by calling them WOMEN SO YES i am equally able to refer to the FEMINIST movement in all fairness...

    i agree with you though.. but while you are referring to these men as women they have as much right to a "womens" ONLY job, service, bathroom etc...

    maybe you refer to these men as men and MAYBE just MAYBE you might have a case to stand but by IGNORING who they truly are you are wasting your time

    ReplyDelete
  121. transmale are not male. They don' have a dick.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Feeling like the opposite sex and taking measures to ensure that your physical appearance matches these feelings is not a crime.

    However, the problems begin when I see ftm/mtf individuals on national television invoking stereotypical sex role socialization to justify their identities. It is underwhelming, to say the least.

    Case study 1: a ftm was on a good-morning-type program showcasing his biography. He once was a successful pole vaulter as a woman. He continued to talk about how he could have deceived himself so long about his transsexuality since he always looked "like a man". As we all should know by now there are women who "look like men" and aren't transsexual. If you still think that transsexuality can be determined by degrees of adherence to sex roles you are no better than the people who thought that gays and lesbians were inverts, i.e. men and women trapped in the body of the opposite sex.
    Well, this is not all: there was some helpful tidbit about how he understands women better because he once was one and knows how we indecisive women always fret about issues and aren't able to just make a decision (*rolls eyes*) and that now that he is a man and is rid of this characteristic he can "help" us. Wow. Obviously, testosterone = sudden increase of paternalism which led to me = instant dislike.

    Case study 2: a ftm comes out on TV. Why does she feel like a woman: "I have awesome hair, I wear awesome clothes, men look at me." Commentary by her status-conscious male friend of the upper class: "She looks fabulous, real women should make her a role model." Being a real woman = men wanting to fuck you which means that you cease to be a woman if you are unattractive to men, me = instant dislike. A woman in the biological sense does not become a woman through being constantly desired and fucked by as high status a male as possible, a woman is a woman by birth. The identity of "woman" however, is dependent on outside recognition and approval. This ftm's identity is already on shaky ground seeing as she defines herself by aesthetics and male approval alone. What will happen, I wonder, after she has become older and won't be able to attract male attention in such a high degree?

    What I want to say is: stop basing your identity on biology. It is risky and most probably not true. Genes do not have exact instructions built into them in the sense of "likes ruffles and pink" or "likes hunting". They are the basis of existence but their impact can be exaggerated, mititgated or entirely nullified by socialization. It is completely impossible at the current time to estimate what percentage of beahviour is attributable to genetic or social factors since there is no instrument to measure this with (No, differences in brain structure do not show a biological basis for anything. The brain can change its structure. Therefore, its form is not entirely pre-determined by genes.) Instead, we have to make do with empirical science. And empirical science has been instrumental in proving that differences between the races and sexes can for the most party- by comparing studies on a cross-national basis, for example- be traced back to other factors than genes.

    It also pays to remember that an identity is formed through interacting with others (interacting also means obversing if this oberservation is influential for later social behaviour) and is not innate. Children having grown up in the wild do not have a sense of themselves as humans. An individual all alone in the world without any social structure would not only wither and die but also have no sense of identity whatsoever, no to mention an identity as a woman or man because the individual could not make sense of her/his biology.

    (If this doesn't apply to you, feel free to overlook this comment.)

    ReplyDelete
  123. transguys are freak - cisdudes are cool

    ReplyDelete
  124. @ Message from tranny trent
    "A Message From TrannyTrent

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tCZtY_j2EM&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

    I am Lesbian and I agree with him.."

    We don't care TJ Jourian is a fraud (see Dirt posts about him"

    ReplyDelete
  125. Okay, it would have been more correct to say: stop basing your identity on a stereotypical understanding of sex roles and then try to prove that this stereotypical understanding is somehow connected to biology. My bad.

    ReplyDelete
  126. "stereotypical understanding of sex roles " are based on society and power struggles between males & females.
    Being a transmale means being a person who wants to fit in a binary gender stereotypical role and who want to develop secondary male sexual characteristics and in some case who may be more confortable in appearing as straight than lesbians. From this positioning in society comes a certain privileges:
    *passing as straight, you are not concerned by gay&lesbian people right fights and limitation anymre. You have all those rights (marriage, being accepted at family gathering or your company's event)...
    *passing as a male, you can expect a salary raise and having more power in a boy's club society and also to benefit from the natural submissive attitude of some women. Your perspectives are wider.
    *developing male sexual characteristics open a new market of potential women partners and gives you opportunities to fit in male only activities or places.

    But you will never get out of my mind that transdudes are lesbians who were afraid/lazy to be themselves and to fight for it...

    ReplyDelete
  127. Tranny Trent- if you're going to post your whole life on the internet and get jobs claiming you are trans and then post about how you are fooling everyone back home by pretending to be a straight woman acting all "cis" and carrying a purse, you can't be too surprised when some of your peeps might give a ring to you or yours asking wtf is going on. The internet is an open forum. Why are you surprised that some of your folks found out about you? You are all over the place! Why are you shocked that someone (prob someone you know) "outed" you?
    If a random internet stranger contacted my family for any reason- even to say they liked my haircut- I would contact the local police immediately because that would really freak me out. What I would not do is post whack-a-doodle drama YouTubes. Unless I was a big-ass dumb-shit lying sack of shit.

    ReplyDelete
  128. I'd like some of your advice.

    About 2 years ago, I dated a woman who then told me she needed to be a man. I tried to be there for her, but couldn't, and we broke up. Now she's contacted me and says she is a woman after all, and she wants to get back with me, although she is worried about some testosterone damage.

    So how do I support her and help her?

    Should I resume our relationship, as before?

    ReplyDelete
  129. There are transmen who do not, in fact, have vaginas any longer. If you knew anything about transition you would know that. There are bio men who due to birth defects or trauma, no longer have penises. There are women who lose their breasts. There are people with varying combinations of both sex organs. How about we stop reducing other peoples identities to what genitalia they have or don't have. It's archaic really. Why are lesbians always so defensive towards everyone else? Unresolved internal mysogyny perhaps? Try being a bigger person and live life the way you feel complete and content and allow others a little respect and empathy. If you haven't walked their path how can you tell them who they are and what's true for them? It really makes you look ignorant.

    ReplyDelete
  130. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaaGzsyZN_M&feature=player_embedded

    ReplyDelete
  131. Dirt, I am a trans guy who follows your blog. I think you are astoundingly ignorant, stubborn, and mean, but I find your blog downright hilarious for it.

    So you can continue to spew out your hate filled blog posts and youtube videos, and my friends and I will continue to laugh at you.

    ReplyDelete
  132. @Aiden 95% of biomale still have their penises. How can you compare a transmale to a normal gu who losts his penises ?
    And I am straight moron. The fact is I like biomale because they have penises. A biomale without dick will cause nothing but pity from me. A transguy disgust because deep inside they are female and having sex with a transguy is having sex with a woman on T and I am not lesbian.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Comme on tranny trent aka TJ Jourian has invented the whole stalker story. This freak will find anyway to pose as a victim : look at Dirt post about him on this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  134. why are half of transguys named Aiden?? has anyone else noticed that LOL? or some form of "iden" (Jaiden, Paiden, Kaiden, Haiden, etc etc)

    I mean seriouslt, come up with something new already girls!

    ReplyDelete
  135. Tranny Trent? seriuosly thats what this whole open day boils down to??

    oh come on!!

    Look up HaydenShyBoi

    theres a good case for you all

    ReplyDelete
  136. "It seems a bit unfair to define a person by flaps of skin over their crotch. I'd rather judge a person on their intellect, mind, knowledge and wit, personally."

    Do you see what you just did here? You equated "intellect, mind, knowledge, [and] wit" with sex and/or gender. No one is "judging" anyone by flaps of skin over their crotch when they say that someone born with a vagina is a woman, and someone born with a penis is a man. (And someone born intersex is intersex.) They're just pointing out a biological fact.

    As for "manhood" being the acceptance of the responsibilities society places on men, every last one of those responsibilities can be and often are assumed by women. Most of them, even the ones that look kind of shitty on the surface, are tied into social power to some extent. Most of the responsibilities society places on women, even the ones that look sort of nice to some people (like childcare, ugh), are disadvantageous in the big picture.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Anonymous @ 7:46 & 12:58,

    Maybe you should read Femonade. She's a straight woman who cuts through the myths surrounding PIV.

    http://factcheckme.wordpress.com/tag/piv/

    ReplyDelete
  138. I suspect part of the transitioning pleasure is to invent for yourself funny first name who looks cool.
    You think you are your own parents and have even total control on your first name.
    And then you end up with Ayden, Meiko, TJ, Aydian, Mike, Cole, Mike, Ayden, Jordan...A narrow list of 10 choices every FTM chooses from ;)

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  139. A very well-behaved open day seeing as no moderation. Impressive.

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  140. Kurukurushojo, EXCELLENT post. Thumbs up from me.

    Men who lost their penises or women who had their breasts removed didn't ask for it. And anyway they were born with such equipment, and the fact people have penises or vaginas or intersex genitalia doesn't tell me anything about them as people really, much like having blue eyes doesn't. When I was complimented by males they said "I had balls", but the traits they were praising (probably assertiveness and not being afraid of reactions) don't have anything to do with them.

    And seriously, what's up with FTMs always choosing some variation of Aiden, Michael or Chris? Like they need some other signifying cue. And what's up with those FTMs who change names every month?

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  141. the excuses these ftm girls come up with are so ridiculous and nonsensical i can't even begin to argue with them. talk about a complete lack of self-awareness or...any awareness for that matter.

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  142. What about Dirt ? Is she on holidays ? o_O We miss u Dirt !

    ReplyDelete
  143. The fact that the term "Passing" even exists amoung ftms proves it's complete illlegitimacy.

    Do you even realise what you are saying and participating in when you subscribe to such a concept?....DO YOU?

    ReplyDelete
  144. Thank you for educating people about this Dirt! This blog is the truth and nothing but the truth and the more people who see it the better!

    ReplyDelete
  145. Brainwashed FTM girls don't realise that biomen pity them and feel superior (reguardless of what they might say to not hurt your feelings)

    They're basically just reinforing deep rooted misogyny, etc etc

    FTMs do not have male privilege, because their entire existence is based on posturing and performance. Lies.

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  146. Apparently when you're trans, your brain is unable to understand biology.

    ReplyDelete

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