Change Your World-NOT your Body

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Casual sexism is nothing but misogyny


Hags, dogs, whores, bitches. It's amazing how much hate you can pack into a few syllables. How do you spot a woman-hater? By the way they talk about women, treat women, react to women, represent women. Bitching about women, slagging off women – even the language used to describe such slander comes from misogyny. The ubiquitous verbal violence supports physical violence and nobody, male or female, minds. If I were called a Paki in the street, I would have some hope of it being taken seriously. If I were called a slag – as I was last summer by a man on a bicycle, in Stepney – nobody would consider it report-worthy.
Misogyny is such a strong substance that women have absorbed and internalized it. 

For men and women alike, casual misogyny is the climate and context of all their interactions. It is unconcealed and automatic. It affects the way women are received, portrayed and considered as colleagues, friends, workers, mothers, artists, thinkers, public figures and victims of male violence and discrimination. Apart from outright slander, jibes, names and insults there is: talking down a woman's work, interrupting her, teasing her, mocking her, talking over her, patronizing her, sighing or rolling one's eyes when she talks, invading her personal space. The misogynists' approach to women can be summed up thus: sneer, leer, exploit, ignore.

There is a final, huge, virtually universal form of casual sexism which is expressed in nearly every house. Any man who thinks it's OK to live in a household where the woman does the overwhelming majority of all the housework, childcare and family admin is a woman-hater. If he weren't, it would agonise him to live in such an unequal and exploitative setup.
So, what to do about casual sexism? Don't perpetrate it yourself, call it when you see it and fight any man defending his misogyny or any woman defending her false consciousness.

With every post made here I fight in some way against women holding onto or perpetuating their "false consciousness", you should do the same.


dirt
Share:

8 comments:

  1. So well put! Thanks for putting it out there plain, direct.. and listing all the words of woman hating-- so that each behavior is made visible. Liberal men-- favorite woman hating tactic is to ignore completely. The tactic of making women invisible is perhaps the most insideous in my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hell fucking yes. I like to hide the batteries from the remote when sexist television is about to go on in my house.

    "Any man who thinks it's OK to live in a household where the woman does the overwhelming majority of all the housework, childcare and family admin is a woman-hater. If he weren't, it would agonise him to live in such an unequal and exploitative setup."

    Word!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I went to a pet store the other day, and saw a cage with a male cat in it. The adoption ad said: I'm a loving kitty, and fit into a home with a submissive female cat"

    "You damn sexist cat" I suddently said to the cat cage. My girl friend just thought that was great!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for being so clear about it. I feel that all the time working with men on my job...especially them talking over me and ignoring me, putting down my work, ect. ect. all the ways they try to invisibilize me as a Dyke, as a woman, as a big woman...on the job...well all 3 packaged together. It's so common sometimes it's hard to recognize, and the deadly disease is that so many women think it's all ourselves that are at fault and can't 'fit in'.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I want to be a feminist but I hate women. No, more precisely, I hate traditional feminine traits and those who embody them. I hate women who are born to breed and who spend their time blathering about their children and their wrinkles and what they had for lunch.

    The only women I get along with are other tomboys (okay, maybe the very rare nurturing woman who's seems to get me, who I'm torn between wanting to cling to and being disgusted for myself for being needy), but my fellow tomboys are distant and detached like I am, never getting too close.

    I get along famously with men, men have called me the perfect woman (I'm not deluded enough to let that boost my ego though...they mainly like that I'm low maintenance and into sports and science and technology, but we know as soon as big T&A walks by that's forgotten), I understand men's frustration with women's nagging and superficiality and small talk.

    So I can't really figure out how to be a feminist, and I don't like that I can't stand women. I guess I'm not totally sure why I'm even posting this--maybe just that I relate to having traditionally masculine traits but am still female enough to care about our inequality--and not knowing quite what to do with that.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I find your blog fascinating by the way, even if I don't agree or am undecided on some of your primary themes (there is impressive, perspective-changing logic in some of it, but at the same time I find myself asking, "well couldn't this other thing be the reason though?"). I came across it from a link shared by a friend where you said something to the effect of consumerism stamped misogyny...I apologize for my poor recollection. One guy said "he sounds like a moron." Another said "I heard that guy's a real asshole." So I read your whole post and it pissed me off they didn't even bother to understand what you were saying. And they clearly hadn't spent more than 2 minutes on your site if they didn't realize you're female. Huh, maybe I'm a misanthrope and not a misogynist. Anyway, wish they had given you half a chance.

    I also find the perspective on trans compelling and refreshing, even if part of me just wants to let people be whomever they want to be. I won't pretend to be knowledgeable, but the two trans people I know (both MtF attracted to females, one who wants his hetero partner to become a lesbian)...it just seems so forced. And they want to be my sister, my gal pal. And they want to share stories about the first time shaving their legs or wearing a dress (conveniently forgetting the fact I never wear dresses, rarely talk about stereotypical female subjects, and haven't been fascinated by shaved legs since I was 13 and actually not even then--had to start to avoid being made fun of for my barely visible leg hair). And they want to show me pictures of how hot they look as women. And then, even though we weren't friends before their transition (they were merely in same social circle, good friend of my ex-boyfriend), they think I don't want to talk to them because they're trans. Well, maybe so - they were bores before, but now they're even bigger bores with all their talk of hair and makeup.

    Oh...and lastly...I'll take what can't even be called a tangent. My famously liberal school ("berkeley of the midwest"), forced everyone to take an ethnic studies class "intended to increase understanding of the culture and contributions of persistently marginalized racial or ethnic groups in the United States." We were to learn about the various races (only whites as far as these classes are concerned) who subjugated other races, though classes about the marginalization of women were conspicuously lacking. I sympathize with those who are subject to cruelty and disadvantage for silly reasons like skin color and lineage. But at the same time, I'm indignant - women have been marginalized and brutalized since secondary sex characteristics first made men physically stronger. Which was before our ancestors were even human. So why is it more important to understand the marginalization of a limited group of people in a particular country when 51% of the population has been abused since the beginning of time? Blacks got the vote 50 years beforehand, blacks became president first, yet it's all about racial minorities while women's inequity is apparently invisible or unimportant. (Or maybe their advocacy groups were pushier, who knows.)

    Sorry for rambling.

    ReplyDelete
  7. And lastly...I'll take what can't even be called a tangent. My famously liberal school ("berkeley of the midwest"), forced everyone to take an ethnic studies class "intended to increase understanding of the culture and contributions of persistently marginalized racial or ethnic groups in the United States." We were to learn about the various races (only whites as far as these classes are concerned) who subjugated other races, though classes about the marginalization of women were conspicuously lacking. I sympathize with those who are subject to cruelty and disadvantage for silly reasons like skin color and lineage. But at the same time, I'm indignant - women have been marginalized and brutalized since secondary sex characteristics first made men physically stronger. Which was before our ancestors were even human. So why is it more important to understand the marginalization of a limited group of people in a particular country when 51% of the population has been abused since the beginning of time? Blacks got the vote 50 years beforehand, blacks became president first, yet it's all about racial minorities while women's inequity is apparently invisible or unimportant. (Or maybe their advocacy groups were pushier, who knows.)

    Sorry for rambling...it's one of my major flaws when I'm wavering or passionate about something.

    ReplyDelete
  8. It is all about Transmale dominance withing the LGBQTI community...
    And transmale themselves depicts it here through different videos:
    here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUOXqMx--gw
    or here
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1W2oMwmoew&feature=related
    or here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8grzcsJOu8
    or here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrfXUWXTJQk

    ReplyDelete

Copyright © The dirt from Dirt | Powered by Blogger
Design by SimpleWpThemes | Blogger Theme by NewBloggerThemes.com | Distributed By Blogger Templates20