Change Your World-NOT your Body

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Dirt responds...again

This post in in response to iconoclass's comment on this post found here.

The use for the capital B small b is two-fold, it is reclaiming and re-establishing and putting a face on Butch in its original: a butch lesbian whose primary attractions are with Femme and to differentiate from Butch as woman and butch as what kind of woman similarly to male/masculinity-female/femininity-Butch/butch, I DO butch, but I AM Butch. 
 I choose not to write about "butch on butch" because it isn’t my experience therefore it has little to nothing to do with my Femme/Butch writings here which clearly the "too Butch to fuck" post was written. While there surely are butch lesbians who date other butch lesbians, being butch in nature, it isn’t for me to say/write about, nor do I. Their core experiences clearly aren’t the experiences of the Butch experiences I write about (which other Butches identify with and have responded to both here and through email) as MA indicated herself with "I've never been too butch to fuck". I received many an email from upset angry Femmes regarding that comment who were outraged as they  patiently with love and compassion deal with that Butch shame quite intimately every day of their lives whether partnered with Butches, in Butch friendships or seeking a Butch partner. For one to claim “Butch” identity to then be so flippant about that deep core shame that informs all sorts of aspects of Butch life, THAT more than capital B, small b or strapping the largest cock in America gives me pause as to the authenticity of that (Butch/butch)’s claim. Because regardless of how far a Butch has come and no matter how wonderful and understanding their partner, there always remains residual shame just underneath the surface that in certain moments steps from their shadows once again.   
 Personally I do not care who fucks whom, and only hope lesbians (whatever the stripe) are healthy and safe in their sexual endeavors, but I DO care about putting a real life face on Butch/Femme because our community is a sordid hetero/male-centric mess that is currently being destroyed from the inside out through the utilization of thattoo Butch to fuck” Butch shame, because the current face of Butch in our community is a bearded one. MA’s only interest in that mutilated bearded Butch is she doesn’t want “her/him/it” in her “womon only” spaces, NOT the larger picture of saving future Butch girls/women from that bearded fate! I will fight along side MA to keep transitioned men and women out of women’s only space yes, but I am also fighting for the future of Butch (Femme), a future that IS being threatened by queerists and now pathologized in the future version of the DSM which has the potential to eradicate ALL Butch girls/women of all persuasions! 
The Femme/Butch community is (used to be/should be) just that, a community for Femmes and Butches, Butches who love/date Femmes and visa versa. It isn’t hierarchical for the Butch women in that community with their Butch and Butch/Femme experiences to write about, discuss, joke, fight for, and relate to members of that community to the exclusion of other communities. It is participating in the shared experiences of the members of that group/community. Certainly there are all sorts of other things Femmes and Butches share in common with other member of other lesbian groups/communities but none of those are going to have the feeling of “home” that Femme/Butch does, just as I wouldn’t expect Femme/Butch to feel at “home” to butch on butch dykes. Because my square peg doesn’t fit into the butch on butch round hole in no way causes me stress or feelings of “less than” butch, I simply do not fit nor belong and that is okay. 
The only “hierarchical” shit that took place here was with me a Butch lesbian presenting and keeping with the historical accuracy of Butch through its relationship with Femme. MA and perhaps you as well took offense because she defines her butchness a certain way and I another. And through my keeping with the traditional Butch definition (butch lesbians who partner with Femmes) MA felt slighted because she doesn’t partner with Femmes, and in her mind she felt according to traditional Butch definition then that she wasn’t Butch, even though again my posts do not address “butch on butch” lesbians/issues. The fact is my post had nothing to do with her as a “butch on butch” lesbian therefore there was no reason for her comments, especially the anti Femme sexist garbage that sprang from her both here and her blog.

Words do have meaning, just as many gays and lesbians have abandoned using the term "queer" due to it having been high jacked, used and abused by anyone feeling compelled these days to call themselves “queer” from “trans to S&Mers, so to has Butch identity been colonized to the point of meaninglessness! Butch DOES mean something; it has meaning because my body and spirit infuse Butch with that meaning fortifying us both! And Butch historical tradition infuses me with strength and empathy but mostly pride! A tradition while filled with shame; parental shame, shame endured from straight society, shame endured from men trying to rape us straight, shame endured from gay men, shame endured from lesbians, shame endured from feminist both radical and mainstream alike, shame endured from separatist, shame felt through the ownership of our own womanly bodies created by ALL of the aforementioned shame, but a shame I have weathered and over come! Patti Smith wrote “the storm that rends harm/also make fertile” and nothing will stop me from planting the seeds for a fertile Butch future rich with Butch women and a future better because we are in it! 

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