ftM women and Lesbian Personals

Okay after being periodically bitched at by a certain Femme (yeah fine you got your way at last...lol) I am bringing to your attention the utter bullshit of ftM women thinking its perfectly acceptable to use lesbian personals, well ftM ladies, it ISNT! You wanna drug and mutilate yourself into your own personal freak show(do they charge admission for that shit?), great, but guess what there isn't a lesbian alive that is going to date you. Sexually abused disturbed straight women on the other hand, yes. I give you that. And here in lies yet another problem in the lesbian community. Why do we tolerate abusive woman/lesbian haters in our community? Why do we stand by and do nothing, say nothing while these women are pushing and shoving lesbians into trannification??? Why do we say nothing when these same straight women use their straight fucking privilege to silence lesbians IN the lesbian community? Why why why?????

I see these fucked up straight women as a much greater threat than ftM women. Why? Because a year or so on "T" we can pretty much spot the ftM; a hairy back balding mutilated chested person with a midget voice, not too difficult. But a mentally fucked up straight woman claiming our "Femme" ID? Sadly a different story. But that is not to say there are not clear signs: any woman calling herself some form of "stone femme", not a lesbian. Any woman coaxing her Butch g/f into trannification, not a lesbian. Any woman standing idly by while her g/f trannifies, not a lesbian(or a VERY poor one who we wouldn't want on our team anyways). Any woman dating primarily ftM women, not a lesbian. Now before you say anything, yes I know there are lesbian women who were already involved with women who trannify. What about them Dirt, you ask? Well those lesbians who were barely involved with women who told said lesbians that they are going to begin trannification, out an end to that relationship right off. Lesbians in short term relationships with women who begin trannification leave within a few months of their partner being on "T". Basically the first signs of masculine body hair/smell etc. Lesbians in long term relationships with women who trannify usually stay till the tits come off, then they're gone too. See, its the mentally fucked up straight chicks who stay through it all. Never healthily or happily because lets get real, how successful of a relationship can two seriously fucked up people have, neither of which are living in reality? A woman pretending her g/f is a dude and woman pretending she's a dude...ummm yeah...lol Very healthy!

At any rate, you see there are signs all over the place. We have all seen or known women in our community like this. So why are we dealing with the bullshit? Its nearly as bad or worse with tolerating the bisexuals in our community. Why are lesbians allowing themselves to be used and abused like this?? Do we still think so little of ourselves because we're lesbians? As lesbians we are the most powerful women on earth. We have a voice not controlled by men, bodies not controlled by men, minds not controlled by men, so why are we not using all of our beautiful lesbian resources to rid our communities of these male-centric specters and DEMAND lesbian only spaces???

The simple truth is we wouldn't even have to waste our lesbian time explaining to the thick ftM women why we do not want to date them, fuck them, relate to them in any way, were these fucked up straight women not sending the message that lesbians date ftM women because they do and they hover in our communities ruining our lesbian spaces and lesbian lives. We are not bad lesbians for wanting lesbians spaces filled with ONLY lesbians.

We're lesbians!

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Commitment to Women-Are you Committed?

After writing yesterdays post, I have been thinking a lot about commitment; the commitments I have made to myself as a Butch women, the commitments I have made to radical lesbian feminism, the commitments I have made to women period by exposing the ugly ugly truths about patriarchy in the face of misogyny. I care about women, because I care about myself AS a woman. But that caring, that commitment did not occur in a vacuum, it was able grow, develop by example.

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a matriarchy. My granny moved in with my brother and I when I was six and he was thirteen. My granny had ten children, six boys and four girls and they and their children and eventually their children's children revolved around my granny thereby revolving around our home. Her advice was sought daily, and daily she furnished it. But her advice, her care, her kindness even was not limited to our family alone, oh no. But from what I can remember, it was most often limited to women.

Our house hustled and bustled with people, our phone rang off the hook. I cannot count how many many times despite having little money, my granny took in some woman or other. Whether it was the friend of a family member whose b/f had been beating her, a teenage girl who was a friend of a friend who had nowhere to go, a friend of a friend who just needed putting up for the night. Some stayed for days, others for weeks, some for months, there seemed always to be a spell where some woman was staying with us.

I remember when a friend of a cousins "Big Eyes" they called her had got into trouble with drugs and went to prison for seven years. Her family gave her up, my granny did not. Big Eyes wrote my granny weekly. I know this because even though only eight or nine years old, I read and wrote back letters for my granny because she couldn't read or write.

I remember a sixteen year old runaway named Jo, whom got involved with some cousins of mine. She would often come over our house and have coffee with my granny. My granny after some time talked Jo into calling her mom from our house. Through this conversation Jo reunited with her mom. Her mom sent her a ticket to get back home. Jo kept in touch with my granny for many years after, and thanked her every time for her help.

I remember our neighbor, May who lived across the road from us bringing the daughter and her mom who was a friend of May's over to my aunts where we were visiting. As soon as May's friend came over to May's house and May took one look at the daughter, May said "we have to go see Marjorie". You see this girl's face, particularly around her eyes were beaten beyond belief. I have seen A LOT of true life crime shows, and to this day I have NEVER seen a girls face that black, bruised and swollen. She was my age then, twelve. Her mother's b/f had beaten her face in. She could not even see her eyes were swollen so badly. My granny didn't say a word. She went into my aunts kitchen, put some of this and that into a pan of water and began gentling dabbing this girls eyes. Within 20 minutes, this girls could see.

These are just a few examples off the top of my head. But I do not doubt that regularly seeing a woman committed to other women has highly influenced my own commitments to women and to lesbians. I know I am very lucky to have had the background that I do, very fortunate, for which I am grateful and for which I hope that I pass a little of that fortune onto other women. I do not know why my granny chose to make commitments to women, where it came from for her. I do know that the ONLY way women will EVER have a shot under patriarchy is by making such commitments to ourselves first and then each other.


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