Tuesday, October 13, 2009

ftM women and Lesbian Personals

Okay after being periodically bitched at by a certain Femme (yeah fine you got your way at I am bringing to your attention the utter bullshit of ftM women thinking its perfectly acceptable to use lesbian personals, well ftM ladies, it ISNT! You wanna drug and mutilate yourself into your own personal freak show(do they charge admission for that shit?), great, but guess what there isn't a lesbian alive that is going to date you. Sexually abused disturbed straight women on the other hand, yes. I give you that. And here in lies yet another problem in the lesbian community. Why do we tolerate abusive woman/lesbian haters in our community? Why do we stand by and do nothing, say nothing while these women are pushing and shoving lesbians into trannification??? Why do we say nothing when these same straight women use their straight fucking privilege to silence lesbians IN the lesbian community? Why why why?????

I see these fucked up straight women as a much greater threat than ftM women. Why? Because a year or so on "T" we can pretty much spot the ftM; a hairy back balding mutilated chested person with a midget voice, not too difficult. But a mentally fucked up straight woman claiming our "Femme" ID? Sadly a different story. But that is not to say there are not clear signs: any woman calling herself some form of "stone femme", not a lesbian. Any woman coaxing her Butch g/f into trannification, not a lesbian. Any woman standing idly by while her g/f trannifies, not a lesbian(or a VERY poor one who we wouldn't want on our team anyways). Any woman dating primarily ftM women, not a lesbian. Now before you say anything, yes I know there are lesbian women who were already involved with women who trannify. What about them Dirt, you ask? Well those lesbians who were barely involved with women who told said lesbians that they are going to begin trannification, out an end to that relationship right off. Lesbians in short term relationships with women who begin trannification leave within a few months of their partner being on "T". Basically the first signs of masculine body hair/smell etc. Lesbians in long term relationships with women who trannify usually stay till the tits come off, then they're gone too. See, its the mentally fucked up straight chicks who stay through it all. Never healthily or happily because lets get real, how successful of a relationship can two seriously fucked up people have, neither of which are living in reality? A woman pretending her g/f is a dude and woman pretending she's a dude...ummm Very healthy!

At any rate, you see there are signs all over the place. We have all seen or known women in our community like this. So why are we dealing with the bullshit? Its nearly as bad or worse with tolerating the bisexuals in our community. Why are lesbians allowing themselves to be used and abused like this?? Do we still think so little of ourselves because we're lesbians? As lesbians we are the most powerful women on earth. We have a voice not controlled by men, bodies not controlled by men, minds not controlled by men, so why are we not using all of our beautiful lesbian resources to rid our communities of these male-centric specters and DEMAND lesbian only spaces???

The simple truth is we wouldn't even have to waste our lesbian time explaining to the thick ftM women why we do not want to date them, fuck them, relate to them in any way, were these fucked up straight women not sending the message that lesbians date ftM women because they do and they hover in our communities ruining our lesbian spaces and lesbian lives. We are not bad lesbians for wanting lesbians spaces filled with ONLY lesbians.

We're lesbians!



  1. This comment is from a Butch woman who does not have an account here but had something to say:

    I've dated two such so-called "femmes"
    The 1st of which I should have known better as she told me she had never dated a butch lesbian only trannies, but since she was interested in dating me and knew what I was I thought she would benefit from dating a real butch instead of those self hating male wannabes. However while at 1st she enjoyed being with me, the sex(actual mutual lesbian sex)in the end our relationship suffered becuz she was always pressuring me to accept and respect her trannie friends as men which I found highly offensive. That and she was always putting down and trying to deny all connection to me being female telling me she didn't see me as such and even taking it as far as saying she no longer wanted to have lesbian sex 8mos into the relationship. Needless to say we ended as I could not accept being told to play a male role in my lesbian relationship any longer. If she and her friends could not accept me for who I really am and they were all going to pressure me into living a lie to support their self hating denial of women I had no other choice , but to walk away & reclaim my pride.

    The 2cd socalled femme swore herself a true lesbian and had only dated others female ided butches (and a few men in her past). Well I took her at her word as I had no reason to question her interest in me as lesbian attraction as I made it quite clear from then on that I only date lesbian femmes(real femmes) , but while she & I were not really serious I began to notice that she was also dating some1 else who was in the process of transitioning.

    Now I expected her to end that as she claimed she was a lesbian and that she really wanted to become my gf, but when she refused to do so it didn't brother me that they continued dating. What bothered me was that finding this out and still seeing them at lesbian events and hearing her still id as a lesbian femme.

    I was even more upset because I had once believed they were lesbians and got them both gigs working these events representing butches and femmes to our community. My anger in the betrayal I felt went beyond the two of them having continued behind my back, but that they had the nerve to put this fake butch-femme relationship up on our stage using my help to do so.

    How they continue to hire her to dance for lesbian events is beyond me and why they allow her fake boyfriend in women and lesbians events I'll never understand.

    Now anytime I hear a femme ids as stone, queer, poly, str8 or dates trannies..ect I know off the bat not to waste my time or my energy. I enjoy my body, sex, and that I am a proud butch lesbian too much to ever cheapen that by being with some1 who can not appreciate a butch as a femme should as I will always honor and appreciate the woman my femme is. Women loving women is what being a lesbian is about and there is no part of butch or femme that should be mocked or denied or transformed into any form of cock worshipping female hating heterosexuality.

    I agree lesbian women don't need or want men or FTMs or fake str8 posers at our events. That is a violation of our space and an unwanted invasion by all means.

  2. Thanks beautiful! And congrats again, really hope things workout for you!


  3. Thank you all! We're taking back our community one female identified Butch at a time, with our true Femme Dyke supporters! Say no to transapologists!

    This is happening right and left in San Francisco, it sickens me so much that I don't do events in San Francisco anymore with the exception of SF Dyke March, all the events(and Dyke March too) are labeled "women's and trans events'. That is, BOTH sides of trans are welcome at SF women's events, both MTF, AND FTM! That's the play parties, Dyke March, the shows, the groups, EVERYTHING! That means a MTF can come in with the makeup and femme gear, and still have a live flesh penis intact, or an FTM can come into said women's event(read dyke event)with breasts removed and all sorts of facial/body hair. The only ones excluded would be bio boy boys...mostly gay guys. AND YET, they have FTM International, All Genders of the Universe, Queer Playground, and all manner of genderqueer, genderfucked, Trannyshack events...AND they want ours too.

    The MTF's have crashed our communities and infiltrated our Dyke communities for many years now, with their male thinking, but now the FTM's are empowered by them, and continue the cooptation, along with the bisexuals and these fucking freak ex-hetero married women who go for the stonest of Butches and encourage 'em to transition, so they can be with a 'male', and not worry about pregnancy.

    On the Butch on Butch side, the same thing is happening. When I went to IMsL, almost all Butches under 40 were wearing tie downs on their breasts, pancake flattening denials of their breasts or female features, packing, sporting fake facial hair, and insisting on male pronouns. They flirted with each other and their FTM bros(they ALL call each other bros, even me, other Butches) and we're all lumped into the hy, hym category. I have to constantly insist that both my partner and I are shes, and we dont' want the male pronouns used for us....we're definitely exceptions to the rule.
    And the Butches over 40, we all looked at each other, and related to each other, wondering what was happening...that one after another were going in that direction, we had no herstory to pass on to them, no common identity, no common language, nor did they care for our perspectives or our wisdom whatsoever...rude young things!

    -M.A. Part one

  4. Part two

    Not only are the Butch on Butch flirting with each other(which is fine by me, cuz I love Butch on Butch), but also with the FTM's, most insisting on male pronouns and being genderqueer, they are also flirting heavily and going with gay men. The last International Ms Leather 2008 has a bio-male partner who is her HUSBAND, while on her profile she lists being into Butch womyn. And on his profile he mentions how much he likes to shave Butches' hair, and dominate sickens me. They have a farm in Seattle, Washington, where all these young Butches who know no better, who are so male identified, come up there, thinking they'll have a fun time with her, but he's 'getting off' on them. It's much like a pimp, he pimps his handsome butch wife out, she insists she's a Butchdyke into other Butches, but it's all too confusing.

    It's the mirror opposite of these faux femmes...that is nondyke femmes who are shaming handsome young butches and others into transitioning to male so they can retain male privilege. Well, there's a backwards mirror with Butch on Butch too, where they start off with each other(and maybe a femme now and then, if at all)and end up doing or being done by gay/bi men!

    And it's the same damn thing: whether it's a Butch seeking another Butch or a Butch seeking a Femme, the ads read: Butch/FTM sought by....., like the two are just some kind of interchangeable parts, no real difference really, only a matter of degree....we're all the same, born female, so why bitch? Lesbian is so passe(a Dyke femme friend of mine told me that literally another womon, who was married to a womon, identifying as 'genderqueer' literally told her 'lesbian is so passe'), who gives a damn if you have your titties on or long as your hyper 'Transmasculine', or some such term...or 'TransButch' or some kind of super Butch who thinks like a dude, acts like a dude, takes dude hormones and then begins thinking of having surgeries to appear as one, and YET wanting to suck off the tit of the Dyke community, the sugar tit of Lesbians, that is, sucking us, our identity, our spaces, and who we are, and our womyn dry!

    Well, if you really ARE a 'dude', what the fuck are you doing in Dyke space?????

    We gotta take our shit back! Whether they're Butch or Femme, make sure they're INVESTED in the Lesbian/Dyke lifestyle, know something of our rich Lesbian herstory, and have some small modicum of relation to the female condition.....that is, even basic feminism...not 'post modern' 'deconstructing', or trans/gender/queer/ bi-poly anything, or an interest in bio-men!

    I feel bad for the young or new dykes who came out, even the older ones, fought so many years to finally be a lesbian, then see all the lesbians wanting to be men, become men, or do men, even pseudo males, i.e FTM's. IT's all gotten too strange for me!
    -In the STruggle,
    and fierce as ever!

  5. Hey Dirt, I finally broke down and started my own blog here on if you want to sign up on mine, it's called, what else? DykesforDykes. I also signed up on my dashboard yours too, but privately.
    -In Butch Dyke Sisterhood,

  6. Thanks for the comments MA. And thanks for the heads up on your blog. Keep up all you are doing!


  7. Wow. Um, I totally disagree. I like your blog, and like some of the things you have to say. . .But none of what you have written has been my experience in the lesbian community. . .Well, other than being stigmatized by other gay women for dating a transperson. . .

    I see gender as a fluid thing, and something that we, as society, are beginning to view in a different way. So, it makes since that as time goes on there are more folks to include.

    I think that so many FtM's are involved in the lesbian space, because that has been their home prior to their transition. . .

    I personally (obviously) have no issues with any trans people and feel totally comfortable with the definition of lesbian while I date a transperson. I'm also attracted to femmes, butches, and loads of other genders depending on the person. Hmm, I think I find a lot of things sexy.

    I do appreciate your viewpoint though, and will continue to read your blog as I think it has gotten me to view things from a different place. . . Which is always enlightening.