Change Your World-NOT your Body

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Femme Femininity

I view the femininity held by Femme bodies in the same way I view the butchness born of Butch bodies. I see it in its rawest nakedness, stripped bare of all artifice. Femme femininity isn't about the clothes choices a Femme is sporting, it is how she occupies and moves in those clothes or out. Femininity in general has through and under patriarchy come to have more to do with performance (for the male gaze) than simply being female, in that case the clothes DO make the woman. There is this false notion that women can utilize femininity to capture the male gaze and in doing so will achieve some power along side patriarchy when nothing can be further from the truth. Not surprisingly this notion has been spoon fed to females right out of their mother's wombs BY patriarchy.

There is a real power source in Femme femininity even when playfully being played up for a Butch. Not that false sense of power men temporarily allow hetero women to believe they own, they own nothing. Every Butch knows the Femme is a woman in control even when she chooses to give that control up. I am not just speaking sexually, there is a power in the way a Femme exercises her Femme femininity to comfort another, to love another, to need another, to want another, to hold another, to touch another and to be herself. To be herself. Perhaps it is here that the greatest difference lies between Femme femininity and general femininity. Because it is through her FEMME femininity that Femme lesbians find their identity, a self. While other women through patriarchal controlled femininity only lose themselves, never to be found.

Within Femme Femininity there lies an open field, a field of play, expression, living, often unknown and if discovered, often forbidden to patriarchal dictated femininity. While this field is not always free from patriarchy, it is none the less a field where how a Femme expresses her femininity is not determined or dependent upon the male gaze and male approval. Butch women are quite often viewed as rebels, their lives radical, because Butch women externally display a radical difference in how they appear/live as women. But the truth is Femme lesbians are every bit as rebellious and radical as Butch lesbians, maybe more so. Because they rebel through femininity. That thing men believe they hold in a vice for their own sweet masturbatory pleasures. Femme femininity is a kick in the balls of patriarchy.

Because Femme femininity isn't reliant upon male approval, (its very nature rebels against this) Femmes determine for themselves femininity! And that determinant isn't based on what a Femme DOES, but how she does it. If she is Femme, she is feminine, so what she is doing is done through her femininity. She is feminine when she changes a flat tire, feminine when buying a new pair of heels to feel sexy in, feminine when CEO of a large corp, feminine when making love to her Butch, feminine when putting on make up, feminine when chopping wood with no make up, feminine when wearing lingerie for her and her Butch, feminine when eating, sleeping, breathing and she knows this and makes sure her Butch knows this too!

Femme Femininity-an open field. I could watch and admire for the rest of my days.

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  1. Oh, my dear Dirt! Thank you for so totally getting it about Femme Femininity! As a Femme who IDs as High Femme, I am absolutely claiming and relishing the power of the feminine in a woman identified womanly way.


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