I received both these comments on one of my youtube vids and figured I'd address them here since the second comment/question gets asked often enough.
First let me say regarding the hating men comment, lesbians in general do not hate men, straight women who have to deal with men in relationships because of their attraction to men generally are the women who hate men.
Now as far as why would a Femme lesbian desire to be with a Butch lesbian and not a man? Because she is gay and is attracted to women. Butch women, are women. None "look" or "act" like men. They look and act like Butch women period! Femmes are physically and emotionally attracted to Butch femininity. Butch femininity is the femininity that dare not be discussed, ANYWHERE! The femininity that under the standardized patriarchally restrained and ONLY visible femininity, isn't even recognizable as a brand of the feminine!!!!!!
This is why again and again and fucking again Femmes are asked the ignorant question of "why not date a REAL man" when they date Butch women. Because the femininity they seek, desire, want, need in their partner is a femininity that like the women who own it (Butch women) does not exist outside Femme/Butch circles! And sadly due to the male-centrism that has invaded Femme/Butch spaces in the drugged and mutilated form of ftM women (women who pathologically HATE women/womens bodies), Butch femininity is being eroded and destroyed and turned into/perceived as the "masculine"!!!
Butch femininity is softness; tenderness, loving, maternal, strong, comforting, tough, brazen and insolent. Butch bodies are women's bodies, sometimes with muscles and broad shoulders and sometimes not. Just because Butch femininity occupies the world in occasional ways as some men may, does not and cannot default Butch to masculine. Butch women are NOT men! Butch femininity is in a Butch's warm tender touch, the way she pampers her Femme partner without reducing her Femme to a thing with less power and less value. Butch femininity may differ in part from Femme femininity but it does not change the fact that the Butch is just as much a woman as is the Femme. A woman with soft skin, soft feelings, soft breast and a soft pussy, all things a Femme desires, only she desires those things wrapped up in a nice Butch shell. Given that, why would any person think a Femme lesbian would be just as at home in dating a man as dating a Butch woman?
Somewhere between Butch tenderness and toughness is where a Femme lays her hand, her head and finds a home.