Monday, August 3, 2009

More Butch shame and misogyny

Just spied this on a popular Femme/Butch site.
I dont know what frightens me more about this post, the misogyny or the misogynistic "pride" being mistaken for Butch pride. If you are a Butch woman, you cannot have Butch pride without being proud of being a woman first. There is no division between Butch and woman, they are a unique duet Siamesed together. Butch pride shines when we remember that. Because to forget or ignore Butch as woman, leads to the very dangerous waters this poster is swimming in.

Waters that have her declaring "I want to look like a man" in one breath then screaming "butch pride" in the next! Being Butch, looking butch has nothing whatsoever to do with being male or looking male. Butch women are not men, nor do Butch women look like men. Because Butch women are invisible under patriarchy Butch women often times "pass" as men. It is in between Butch invisibility and "passing" that sprang the insane notions that Butches are some form of men or wanna be men by hetero-patriarchy. And the internet has spread these nonsensical notions out among online Femme/Butch communities reinforcing the rigid sex roles for women that Femmes and Butches have been trying to escape from for centuries!

While the waters have always been murky for Butch women, today they are down right dangerous and shark infested! Patriarchy cannot stop Butches from being born but it has found a way to subdue them by offering them the "choice" not to be Butch (unique women) through trannification(binary STRAIGHT jacket). And its horrific to say but Butch women have and are jumping at that "choice" daily, rather than dealing with their internalized misogyny and discovering for themselves the awesomeness of being prideful Butch women!

Take the poster herself, her "pride" is in using a means (in this case an ED) to erase herself as a woman. But in doing that she is also erasing herself as a Butch. What happens when starving herself isn't enough? Breast mutilation? Body Mod? Powerful drugs? And for what? To be "sir'd"? I get sir'd every day, trust me when I say its not all its cracked up to be. Being constantly mistaken for male is to not be seen as the Butch woman that I am. It is to exist without existing, exist without being seen. This Butch poster seems to think she'll find pride in invisibility, pride in being mistaken for something she isn't. I'd rather feel shame for what I am rather than pride for something I am not. One can work through shame and find pride on the other side it, deception only leads to more deception.

If you are a Butch woman I remind you, there is no human in existence more unique than you or more feared than you by men. Your strength isnt in how alike you are with men but by how unlike a man you are, because you're a woman. Never forget, Butch pride, is female pride!


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  1. So, let me see if I get this, then. A Butch does not look like a man. Rather, a Butch looks the way she does as a matter of form following function. She exhibits the outward display of thoughts, behaviors, values and comforts that are hers. But in our society, some of those are considered to be owned by men as part of "maleness". And you are simply keeping what is yours, despite being told you can't because if you did, you'd be taking those attributes from Men. That sound about right?

  2. Actually sounds to me like you are not remotely versed in Butch women. Feel free though to keep reading.


  3. Didn't mean to sound flip. You are right about being not remotely versed. I will go back to the beginning and start reading and not say stupid things until I can be sure they are not stupid. And I will keep reading, and learning.

  4. Being uneducated in a matter does not equal "stupid", sorry if my comment to you made you feel otherwise.

    And there are tens of thousands of other well adjusted Butch women who love themselves and believe in the power of all lesbian women, please do not limit your understandings of us to me alone.